But, Jian Shen could see the deeply rooted sadness in the depths of her eyes.
Yes, Yu Yan's eyes looked like something which belonged to those who've given up on living.
'You left me, and now you're feeling sad??!!!'
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"Don't be too impatient, Jian Shen."
Trying to calm Jian Shen who was letting his emotions get the better of him in the past year, Qingyu deeply frowned since she knew more than Jian Shen.
Yu Yan had left him since she was pregnant and didn't want to become a burden. So where was her and Jian Shen's kid?
Sharing the same particular thoughts, Juew.a.n.g released a tiny bit of her powers and used them to inspect Yu Yan's body from the head to toe.
In the end, her eyes were filled with pity as she shook her head towards Qingyu who understood everything she needed to.
"You should go meet her, husband."
'Huh? Did you forget she left me?!!'
"And you said you respected her decision, but if you met her again you'd take her with you. Go and talk to her, Jian Shen."
Not saying anything for the next few seconds and Yu Yan and the group behind her walked past him and continued going towards the palace which was visible on the horizon, Jian Shen asked the two swords, 'You two know something I don't, right?'
Declining to answer, the two swords said, "Go and meet her."
Other than Jian Shen being able to mature with this experience, Qingyu and Juew.a.n.g were trying to get Jian Shen close with Yu Yan, because his emotions were getting in the way of his cultivation.
If it wasn't for his emotions clouding up his head and distracting him, Jian Shen would've already been in the Dharma Realm.
'Fine. I was going to meet her anyway.'
Walking out of the crowd and following the group, Jian Shen entered the palace without much trouble as well.
After all, he was a Core Disciple from the Great Sect of l.u.s.t that came to support the Yueliang Empire. If the guards dared to reject him and told him to leave, it would be their heads that would be flying.
Entering the palace and sending the maid who was a.s.signed to take care of him away, Jian Shen quicked his pace sneaked inside the part of the palace which seemed to be made especially for the Queens, and Princesses.
Evading the eyes of the female guards by either jumping outside the palace and then back inside after he could no longer be seen by them, or by using the Wings of Kun Peng at their highest speed and running past them when they were distracted, Jian Shen continued following Yu Yan until all the women who were with her had gone into their own rooms.
Finally, after walking three floors up, Yu Yan opened the doors to one of the room and entered it.
Sprinting at his full speed and not allowing her to close the door, Jian Shen managed to twist his body and enter the room before she finally closed it.
"Who...!"
Unlike what Jian Shen expected, Yu Yan after sensing someone run into her room didn't attack, or shout.
She only weakly said 'Who', making Jian Shen frown hard.
'What is wrong with her? Shouldn't she at least try to defend herself if someone unknown breaks into her room.'
"Jian...Shen??!"
Using her hands to touch Jian Shen's face as if to verify if he was real, or her hallucination, Yu Yan managed to make him frown even deeper.
Holding her hand which was patting along his check, Jian Shen said, "It's me. How's life after leav... "
Before Jian Shen could finish speaking, Yu Yan stunned him by hugging him out of nowhere and starting to sob immediately.
"I'm sorry Jian Shen.... I'm really sorry!!!"
"Hey... Yu Yan.... Are you okay?"
Trying to calm her by patting her on the back, Jian Shen only made her cry even more.
"Yu Yan?"
"I'm really sorry Jian Shen!!!.... I didn't expect that something like this would happen!!!"
"I swear I didn't!!!"
Never having seen Yu Yan like this, so agitated in the whole few months he was with her, Jian Shen was truly unable to guess what could have caused her to become like this.
She was indescribably sad until now, and suddenly started crying as if she was responsible for the destruction of mankind.
"Its fine, Yu Yan. Everything is fine. Whatever you did, I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think it is."
Shaking her head which was still buried inside Jian Shen's head, Yu Yan said, "It isn't! It isn't fine!!! I don't even deserve to live!!!"
"You... "
Not saying anything else, Jian Shen only hugged her tighter to let her know that he was here, and continued rubbing her back to show that he wasn't leaving.
"Uwwwwaaaaaaa.... I'm so sorry! I would do anything if I could change the past!!!"
"I tried everything I could.... But..... But I couldn't do a single thing in the end!!!"
"I thought by leaving you I wouldn't become a burden to you, but... If I was with you things might have been different.. "
In the end, it took almost an hour for Yu Yan to calm down, but Jian Shen patiently waited together and pieced all the information she let out while crying together.
Sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, Jian Shen continued to gently move his fingers through her hair.
"Have you calmed down?"
Nodding her head weakly, Yu Yan despite feeling very happy from seeing Jian Shen again, didn't seem to care about the fact that her face was covered with tears.
"Can you now tell me what happened?"
"I... I killed our child... "