CHAPTER 36

All Matthew could do for now, was gain more time…Giving him a chance to think.

And what he thought about? Strangely, it wasn’t about his predicament, as he wasn’t too worried about it…

Then, with his mother and sister missing, he’d already gotten whoever was left to search the capital and other areas, so there wasn’t anything else he could do there…

It was more about the difference of emotions and how he feels towards the la.s.s…

He had gotten along well with Isabella, but with Sahara, from the moment he had met her…It seems not just his heart has troubles, his eyes followed her, his legs followed her, his thoughts…

Having seen Isabella for the same amount of time as Sahara, in the past, they had felt uncomfortable and uneasy. With Sahara, he felt like he could be himself, and he was strangely curious about her. He was sure, as well, that she too was being herself and open with him, making him feel even better about her.

Even the silence they had, was strangely comfortable to him, as he felt like he was able to relax…Giving him peace.

Then he could see that he valued what she did, not wanting her to loss anything and feel sad. He could feel himself protective over her and even slightly possessive, as he remembered his thoughts on when he thought she was going to get married.

And then…When she was on that bed…

Closing his eyes, he couldn’t help but feel some kind of dread flow through him once again. Having seen her that way was quite an experience for him…

It still haunted his thoughts, even though it’s been weeks since it had happened…

When Isabella was dying, Matthew felt like he was losing something precious, yet…When he saw Sahara, and watching her slip away every now and again, he felt like he was losing some part of himself…

He still felt like that now…

All he could do was stare at her, holding her hand, not wanting her to go and feeling useless.

It really did drive him crazy, that he could do absolutely nothing to help…

Why had I felt like that there was no future without her here?

He couldn’t help it though, since Sahara’s disappearance, his days were bland…

Matthew even found himself not caring so much about his mother and sister’s disappearance as much as he thought he would. The fact that he was in prison didn’t seem to matter much at all either.

Here or there…What does it matter?

All Matthew could do, was sigh to his new-found weakness…

After a week, he still couldn’t believe he felt this way towards such a small girl, who he’d only really seen three times!

But there was no need to think further, he accepted his feelings and felt himself want to act them out. He even started to think of her age and how long it could be before he could finally make her his. Actually, he thought of that quite a few…Well more than a few times.

Yet, through this thought, he suddenly wanted to have everything…He didn’t want things like Isabella, where they were only friends, feeling like they were together because of a decree from the Emperor.

Matthew felt determined, he found that he wanted to forget the decree and gain her heart, and be together through mutual affection…He wanted her by his side!

Possibly by his side, laying on the bed, smiling up at him cheekily. Or…

Feeling like he was becoming a bit too excited, Matthew tried not to think of his feelings more and continued to strategize on maximizing his time and finding the culprits behind his missing mother and sister.

Yet, through doing this, there wasn’t much excitement for him at all…

My survival was on the line for a long time…

I would always run out of spiritual essence, before I was ready for it to run out!

I needed it both for detoxifying myself and to teleporting myself. Before, back in the Rolland Estate, I hadn’t really used any kind of plan to force the poison out. But, when I was alone, I managed to come up with an idea!

I used my sweat and poured my spiritual essence into it and cleaned it. Then I used that small amount of liquid, to re-enter my body and become somewhat of a net to catch the poison.

Ever since starting to flush the poison out, I’d always protected my organs first, hence why I still couldn’t hear or see properly. I was too busy making sure my heart was still untouched and my lungs, so I was unable to see or hear for at least two weeks…