“…If you do not mind other stones, we also have an inventory of amethysts that had already been processed into accessories.”

“I like how quick you are on the uptake. Then, could you show me those?”

Richard once again returned to the backroom and came out after replacing the contents of Uras.h.i.+ma's casket, and after that Takatsuki-san left the store in fifteen minutes. There were three amethyst pendants, and he chose the biggest one. It was a square with rounded corners, about as light as a thumbnail. It was encircled by gold metal. It was as purple as a morning glory without a hint of redness, and the back part was rounded so as to not pierce the skin when worn. The chain was the same gold as a gold ingot. It was originally for women, so it was very thin. It seemed like when Takatsuki-san wore it around his neck, the scent of the night world would surely hang in the air.

It cost fifteen thousand yen.*

(TN: Equal to around 140 dollars USD.)

“It's like a toy,” Takatsuki-san laughed.

With the slender jewelry box containing the amethyst pendant in hand, he cheerfully left the store. He parted with the words, “Think about changing your job!”

“…I wonder if he was drunk.”

“I believe he was sober. He was a lively person, like an actor.”

“You think he's going to come back later to return it?”

“I do not think so. He seemed satisfied with what he bought.”

Richard sank down into his sofa and rubbed his temples. That was rare. I opened the interior of the single-handled pot and put in new tea leaves. I would make it a hundred times tastier than before.

“Does this store really have security cameras?”

“I have a contract with a security firm. Even if you dance or sing while making tea, I do not pay any attention to it, so do not worry.”

I knew there was a camera in front of the store entrance, but it seemed that there were also cameras that showed the inside of the room. However, this rented s.p.a.ce only had valuables when Richard was here, so it was customers with bad intentions rather than thieves and robbers we should guard against.

“…I wonder if I train my body by doing karate again. There's a club at uni too.”

“A part-time job a means to make life easier, is it not? I will not raise your salary, you know.”

“That's disappointing. If I were a part-timer who was little stronger, something like that definitely wouldn't have happened. That was rude of him.”

“There is also the view that it is ruder to come to work with a hangover.”

“…I am, truly, very sorry.”

“As long as you understand. There is no need to concern yourself too much over what happened today.”

“But—”

I am used to it, Richard added.

A cold voice, like a colorless gem.

I had always had average looks, so if I had never gone into ecstasies from having my face praised, then I had also never been depressed because I was disparaged. In the first place, there were not many men who had the experience of being told this and that about their looks by someone unless they were Richard-level on the face deviation value scale.

Before her current hospital, my mother worked at a workplace with rampant s.e.xual hara.s.sment, she would curse, I'm not making myself pretty for you a.s.sholes, while drunkenly rambling from beer. I couldn't agree with her more.

Beauty is not for anyone else's sake. Being happy from looking at it was at the pleasure of the one who was looking. Even though we thought we understood that we couldn't treat things however we pleased.

“…Um, I don't mean anything weird, I really don't mean anything weird by this, I swear it isn't anything like that, but…”

“Do you not think that repet.i.tive preamble is also rude?”

“Is it hara.s.sment…to call someone things like good-looking, or pretty?”

When I apologized, Richard had a weird look on his face. After a moment, without changing the expression around his eyes very much, he began to smile with only his eyes alone. It was somewhat creepy and childlike.

“Is it an insult to tell a blond person that ‘your hair is golden colored'?”

“I don't like that narcissistic part about you! Oh, I did it again…I said ‘like'.”

“Please be quiet for a while. I understood what you meant.”

Forget about it, Richard repeated, then went to store his stock-in-trade in the vault. After he returned, he took a sip of the second helping of milk tea I poured for him.

I didn't want to be a s.e.xual hara.s.ser, but I also might have been greatly insensitive. I had no idea what I was saying to even Tanimoto-san, with this. This was self-reflection.

On the sofa, Richard was eating the remaining yokan by himself. Even though the flavor was completely strained bean paste, they looked transparent, and the goldfish and telescope goldfish made of soft and sweet ingredients were swimming around inside.* Before, I asked him if j.a.panese sweets would go well with milk tea, and Richard, with eyes glazed with anger, told me that I was looking down on royal milk tea. I felt like this was close to some sort of religious faith.

(TN: Richard is not actually eating goldfish. Some yokan have little edible goldfish that seems to “swim” inside them.)

It appeared that he noticed I was glancing repeatedly at him, and he called my name as he was looking at the yokan.

“…What is it. I won't look at you if you tell me not to.”

“There are no interests between you and I other than our employment relations.h.i.+p. No matter how much my looks are praised, I have no intention of raising your salary. I believe you understand that much. Praise with ulterior motives is flattery, fawning, simpering. However, words of admiration that come from bottom of one's heart are a certain kind of exclamation mark, nothing more and nothing less. A stone is beautiful as it is, and even if it lacks value as an a.s.set, its beauty consoles and encourages people, cheering them up. I believe that is the original value of beauty.”

“I think I understand what you're saying. What I feel when I look at you is close to that.”

“Then, I believe your ‘pretty' has about the same meaning as ‘I feel good because the weather is good today.' I do not mind that.”

“I'm eternally grateful. Even if I carelessly say something again, I will be saved if they halfheartedly let it slide.”

I smiled wryly, and Richard's brows gathered. What was it?

“…I do not mind it, but surely you have been misunderstood quite a lot until now because of your unmindful and thoughtless words?”

“What do you mean, thoughtless? It's not like I just go and call everyone I meet ‘pretty'. Don't say weird stuff. I'm the shy type, like the majority of j.a.panese people. We wouldn't call anyone that unless they're so beautiful it moved me to tears. Hosts are a different story. To be honest, I think your looks are on a level that isn't even human anymore, more like diamond dust or an aurora than just good weather.”

“Please be silent for a while.”

After saying that like he was talking through gritted teeth, Richard silent ate the fresh j.a.panese sweets and then disappeared into the back room when he finished. That was rare, there was still one left when he stood from his seat.

Considering how just because you called a blond “golden-haired” didn't mean it was an insult, I didn't feel like I was saying anything that was so outrageous, but I wondered if it was in vain. Richard's words about ending up having to pay for it one day were scary, but I wanted to think I would be fine from now on I was careful enough from now on. I wanted to be forgiven soon. Please, G.o.d. Please overlook it if I mess up every now and then.

When I was wiping the desk, Richard returned with a sullen look. His face looked somewhat red.

“Hey, were you punching a cus.h.i.+on or something? I heard m.u.f.fled pounding sounds.”

“I merely felt like practicing boxing all of a sudden. It has nothing to do with you. Please do not concern yourself with it.”

The owner did not look at me, sitting down in the sofa by the window once again and clasping his hands together. He looked troubled. It didn't seem like the condition of his stomach suddenly worsened. This was getting more and more unusual.

Richard, who was looking absentminded for a while, murmured something all of a sudden.

“…I wonder it was truly all right to pa.s.s that amethyst into that man's hands.”

“What?”

Why was he still on that? Wasn't his sales talk hugely successful?

Richard hung his head, as though to bury his nose in his clasped hands.

“I hold the view that a stone, any stone, being pa.s.sed to someone who most understood and cherished the natural beauty of the stone, is a happy thing for both parties. That is why, for this time…how should I say this…yes, I was also ‘thoughtless.'”

“You mean you wish you didn't sell it?”

“I mean whether it was the right thing or not for me to sell it.”

What was the difference? It was a strange thing for Richard to say. This was the first time I had ever seen him reluctant to sell something. Even though he said he was used to it, as expected, he would feel displeasure when a strange customer came, right? No, there was not a particle of an irritated feeling like that.

The beautiful store owner had a gloomy look on his face, as though he was anxious about the rain tomorrow.

“He bought it because he wanted it. Even gemstones are useful, everyday items. Didn't he give you money because he thought the amethyst was worth it? There's no issue.”

“It is not entirely just about that. I think it was not the charm of the gem that he was most drawn to.”

“…Then, you?”

The owner glowered at me, as though telling me to be quiet. If he was wrong, what exactly was wrong, his unlimited stock of sales knowledge? Or was it this very store itself, where one was able to relax in Ginza?

Richard seemed quite bothered by it and became somber from his misgivings, but I didn't really get it. I didn't think Takatsuki-san was someone that you expressly worried about. He liked his job, was a little pushy, and seemed like a fun guy. It was true he didn't really have the air of someone who had their feet on the ground, but even at my university there were plenty of guys who were alive with enthusiasm and energy.

“I don't think there's any reason to worry, but…people have all kinds of reasons to buy jewels, and for liking them. He would probably feel good about wearing a pretty gemstone, and forget the frustration from not being able to scout you.”

“There is a limit to how good one can feel. The night entertainment business is extraordinarily tough in any country. I do not believe he was saying all of those things in earnest. His mental condition of saying one thing and doing another is unbalanced.”

“You're reading too much into it. You shouldn't think so deeply about him. You're used to people soliciting you, right, so don't worry about too much.”

“I am not talking about that. Intoxication towards beauty beyond one's stature can bring about destruction.”

Intoxication towards beauty. Bring about destruction. If there was a ranked list called “j.a.panese Words I Want to Say Aloud”, those phrases seem like they would rank in the upper parts. What the h.e.l.l was he talking about?

“Gems are gems. Just because they are beautiful doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to be unhealthily obsessed with them. You're the world's most beautiful person that I know of, but the one I like is Tanimoto-san.”

“Hah?”

c.r.a.p. My carelessness went too far. I said Tanimoto-san's name. No, wait, this was my chance. I could try asking him for the sportscar, since I got nothing to lose.

I embarra.s.sedly looked at Richard's face, and told him that there was actually a girl I liked, who was my friend in university, who loved stones and was incredibly cute, and for various reasons, wanted to see the Jaguar car. The possessor of pale beauty thrust a fork into the remaining goldfish yokan while looking at me. The red goldfish was split in two. For heaven's sake, eat it quickly.

“So… like, about if you're okay with it, I have my driver's license, I drive my mom's car a lot, and I never had an accident or violation.”

“You, who seem likely to scatter your attention everywhere while driving? This is quite interesting.”

“Don't just decide that on your own! Safety is number one. I take extra caution if there are kids or the elderly, I give way to cars behind me, and if the worst case happens, I'll drive slower than the default speed limit because I'm in a fix. I don't panic even if I get honked at from behind.”

I would have difficulty with it if I was told to drive at a fast speed, but I have confidence in myself as long as I drove carefully. When I drove my mom, who had the flu, to her workplace, I was even praised with “This is not safe driving, it's too-safe driving.” Though, afterwards I wasn't allowed to sit behind the wheel a lot for some reason.

Richard smiled. He was like a giant gemstone directly getting hit by light. Could this be a favorable response?

“It seems to be about five million second-hand.”

“What?”

“The Jaguar. I hope you have a wonderful drive.”

Um, that‘s not what I meant, I meant loaning it to me. I wanted you to understand that, I tried to say, but it was no use. Richard skewered the two pieces of the bisected yokan with his fork and ate them in one bite. It was a merciless hand movement. Oh no. His aura was terrifying. His eyes were telling me that he would kill me if I tried to talk to him now. He must hate having something private told to him during work. The smell of alcohol was also a no-deal, after all.

“My head is tired from speaking too many foreign words. Tea.”

“Understood, boss. Right away.”

“After that, the change from before.”

“…It's just forty yen.”

“The change.”

Even though this was a frank and direct workplace, the boss was still the boss, and the part-timer was still the part-timer. This wasn't a host club, and you won't get sent flying by the boss, but behavior where you didn't do your job and took liberties with your superiors was out of the question. I must also be firm and resolute and upright.

On the next Friday as well, I was roped in to a drinking party. It was the same place in Roppongi as last week. My senpai from my seminar enthusiastically invited me, so I thought the professor would be there too, but that was not the case at all, and the senpai who suggested it first also did not come because they couldn't find the time or something like that. It was a strange gathering of for some reason only six second-years. There were no girls in my seminar in the first place, so it could not become glamorous or vibrant.*

(TN: So, a seminar, or zemi, in j.a.panese universities are small groups of students led by a professor studying an area of their major the professor is interested in.)

The restaurant was stylish, but it wasn't an atmosphere where a bunch of sloppy guys could relax. The interior was forward, and comfort was left behind. The prices were reasonable, the food not so much. After two hours of making merry, the mood was gradually becoming dull.

“Oh hey, Seigi, you quit the weekend s.h.i.+fts, right? I'm feeling lonely since I don't get to see you at all lately.”

“Oh yeah, I started a new job.”

“What do you do?”

If I told them honestly that I was a tea server at a jewelry store, since this was an atmosphere without energy or conversation topics, that would likely start a question conference. What should I say. Someone who handed out tissues?* No, if that was the case, then the night s.h.i.+ft would be much better in comparison.

(TN: In j.a.pan, people would hand out small packets of tissues to pa.s.sersby as a way of advertising, since there would be ads on the packaging.)

“Oh, um…it's in the hospitality industry.”

“What is this, a quiz show? Are you a host?”

“Really? How much per hour? Which club?”

“Are there hostesses? They hot? Any hot customers?”

“You're drinking too much, don't destroy your body. They say racy jobs like that are incredibly hard.”

It became a question conference anyways. I was an idiot for trying to dodge the question. It was also too bothersome to deny it.

I imagined a fictional club. The owner was a foreigner, and I was in charge of drinks. There were many customers from overseas, and the average amount from each customer was decent. Somehow, it wasn't all that different from reality.

I spoke almost completely accurately, except for the fact that it was a jewelry store, and the guys from my seminar, with alcohol in their bodies, listened attentively to me. Against my better judgement, I got more and more into it, and proudly talked about the intenseness of my boss's good looks. Blond hair, blue-eyed, proficient in languages, and in any case, endowed with beauty that overwhelmed you every time you looked. It was hard to believe a living being like that existed. When I started to say all of that, the atmosphere changed.

What was with those stagnant looks?

“…So, it's just you and your boss in that club.”

“That's crazy, isn't it? What do you do when there's no customers?”

“You know, making drinks, cleaning, and going shopping.”

I was asked the details of how I found the job, and told them that the store owner took a liking to me after I saved them from trouble on a street at night. As soon as I said that, the lifeless mood was reversed. The openly scowling drunks all began to curse at me.

“You really…no way~~.”

“Hah? What are you talking about?”

“She was clearly coming on to you! Switch places with me!”

“I hope she hurries up and get sick of you and dump you and leave you crying all alone.”

“No no no no!”

Even when I added that the owner was a man, for some reason they didn't believe me. It was absurd. I wasn't lying. Statements like “You called them beautiful so you must think of them lovingly” made no sense to me. Why did thinking someone was beautiful meant you had to be in love with them?

“It's true that beauty is beauty, but there are different kinds! Like Mount Fuji on New Year's or the horizon at twilight, that kind of beauty! It's just that there was some kind of mistake and they ended up taking the form of a human. It's a whole ‘nother story to want to date them.”

“The h.e.l.l's a beauty like Mount Fuji. You make no sense.”

“Is your boss Kannon-sama?”

“h.e.l.l no.”

I was suffering miserably. I was in this sorry state from throwing out total lies I wasn't familiar with. Whatever, I didn't care anymore. I decided to promptly cut my night short and go home. s.h.i.+momura, a friend of mine, told me he would go with me to the station. When I was about to send him away in front of the restaurant, he began to talk with a somewhat awkward look on his face.

“I don't think you know this either, Nakata, but this place is owned by a senpai of our seminar.”

“What?”

“He quit his office job and started running a restaurant. But apparently it's continuing to be in the red. He seems to be friendly with the current third years, so we're being used, basically.”

——Oh. So that was why we were all the way in Roppongi.

It was true that this seminar was fairly good for doing business, so there were some senpais who started their own businesses. So, that meant they would order their kouhai to spend money.

After I told him I didn't know about that and thanked him, s.h.i.+momura smiled wryly.

“I kinda understood what you said back there. This is really trivial, but I absolutely love seeing Tokyo Tower from the trains on Yamanote Line. The area around Hamamatsucho Station is the best place. That's where the angle you can see just beyond the Nippon Cultural Broadcasting building is. It disappears in a second because of the running train though. It's even better around sunset. When I look at that, I feel fully recharged even if I'm tired. The beauty you were talking about is probably something like that?”

Yes, that‘s right, exactly that, I agreed and nodded so hard that I felt like my head would come off, and s.h.i.+momura's face crumpled into a smile. It was a feeling of half-happiness and half-bitterness and shame.

“That sort of thing is pretty complicated, huh?”

“…If you can, could you say all of that to them back in the restaurant? That wasn't ‘really trivial' at all.”

“Is it? On a first date, I rode the train with the girl at my favorite time and pointed it out to her, but she just ended up confused. Like, ‘Huh, what?' Just because something is beautiful, it doesn't mean it's unmistakably beautiful for everyone.”

“If you ever met my boss, you'll definitely be shocked. I guarantee it.”

“You seem happy, so that's good enough for me.”

“Aren't you going home, s.h.i.+momura?”

“I'm gonna hang until the last train. There's nothing to do even if I did. See ya.”

I somewhat felt like that ended with me being misunderstood, but I thought I conveyed to s.h.i.+momura what I most wanted to have understood, so that was also good enough for me.

There was no such thing as something unmistakably beautiful. I understood the meaning of those words. It was humans who felt something was beautiful, and since human sensibilities were wide-ranging, there was no such thing as something everyone would unquestionably feel as “beautiful”. I agreed with that as well. However, I could not agree that it was a one bound leap from that to “Thinking they look beautiful is because you like them.”

Thinking someone was beautiful was not equal to liking them. I believed people could like someone “because” they were beautiful, and they could think someone was beautiful “because” they liked them, but they were not the absolute same thing. I wanted to resolutely advocate for only that from now on. My feelings for Tanimoto-san were unique and irreplaceable. They were not something that could be compared to feelings towards anyone or anything else.

I wondered if I could one day tell her, I like you, please go out with me. Would she laugh at me? Would she tell me, I like you too? Would she gaze at me with her cute smile?

No, before that, there was the issue of the sportscar. What should I do? Without disappointing her if possible, I wanted to tell her that I didn't have one by exercising wit that would make her see me in a little bit more of a positive light. I wanted to successfully perform the great reversal from the ceremony of turning misfortune into fortune. To skillfully betray my inner voice that told me, That‘s impossible, give up.