Chapter 8 - d.a.m.n Bro

Translator: Lav

Editor: Levs

Sitting inside a small restaurant, s.h.i.+ Lei ordered 5 kilograms of crayfish. Actually, it was not the best season to eat crayfish as the meat was not as full. Sauces flew out as he gnashed and grinded his teeth, as if revenging against the Scepter.

In the blink of an eye, a pile of crayfish sh.e.l.ls appeared in front of him and s.h.i.+ Lei finally felt a sense of pleasure from revenge, or perhaps he finally returned to reality, no longer surrounded by the terror which the mysterious power brought.

Looking at the pile of crayfish leftover, s.h.i.+ Lei’s head finally cleared up and realised he was facing a serious problem.

He ordered this much crayfish and drank two bottles of beer, even if he tried any harder, he was afraid that he could not finish eating the rest by himself. With this much left, would that d.a.m.ned Scepter not count these wasted crayfish as part of the quota? If that was the case……

s.h.i.+ Lei calculated the value of the crayfish left at the speed of lighting. It looked like about two or three kilograms left. He ordered top quality ones too, worth 68 yuan for half a kilogram, so at least 400 yuan left. Compared to 20,000 it was only 2%, but even 1% was out of the question, just in case that the erased part was the important part……

No, s.h.i.+ Lei was yet to taste the sweetness of women, he definitely did not want to become someone…… without b.a.l.l.s, more commonly known as eunuch(1).

Not caring about his oily hands, s.h.i.+ Lei called his bros from the same dorm.

It was about one o’clock in the morning, those three guys went home for the weekend and he called them twice in a row but no one picked up. Without a doubt, they had their phone on mute.

There was only one left.

Zhang Mo, you have to pick up, if you don’t, I’m dead.

The phone rang three times and Zhang Mo picked up impatiently: “If you have anything to say, hurry up and say it, I’m in a dungeon!”

Thank G.o.d this guy hadn’t slept yet. His place was not far from the school, and he was pa.s.sionate towards food. Don’t mention dungeons, s.h.i.+ Lei doubted that even if he was on top of a girl right now, as soon as he hears the word crayfish, and a large amount of crayfish, an infinite amount of crayfish, he would immediate quit what he was doing and rush over at top speed.

“I’m eating crayfish, do you want some?” s.h.i.+ Lei said slowly.

Zhang Mo gradually became more impatient: “You are eating crayfish? Crayfish now isn’t cheap. You are not f.u.c.king kidding with me, right? Can’t be bothered with you, I’m hanging up…... Mage, mage, hurry up and give me mana……” 

s.h.i.+ Lei was anxious, scared of him hanging up, shouted towards his phone: “I have an uncountable amount of crayfish in front of me right now, I also have enough beers. Moonlight restaurant in front of school, if I don’t see you within fifteen minutes, I’m going to throw all of them in the bin!”

“Are you really serious?” Zhang Mo hesitated.

s.h.i.+ Lei did not say another word and hung up.

Zhang Mo pondered for a while as someone roared next to him: “s.h.i.+t, soldier hurry up and use ultimate, I’m going to die! Mage, heal!”

Zhang Mo smashed his mouse on the table, and swore indignantly: “Little stone(2), if you lie to me and don’t let me eat enough crayfish, I’m gonna turn you into a crayfish tomorrow!” After saying this, the super foodie left the internet café in determination.

He did not even use fifteen minutes, after merely eight minutes, Zhang Mo appeared in front of s.h.i.+ Lei.

“d.a.m.n bro, what is with this new hairstyle?”

Zhang Mo’s thunderous voice sounded next to s.h.i.+ Lei. s.h.i.+ Lei already got used to it, he touched his bald head and said: “Cool!”  

“Cool my a.s.s, look at the month, I think your heart is burning? s.h.i.+t, you ordered this much crayfish, don’t tell me something happened and you don’t plan on living anymore? You even shaved your head, Stone(3), tell me, are you doing chemotherapies for some sort of incurable disease?”

s.h.i.+ Lei held up a crayfish and smacked Zhang Mo’s face with it. Of course, Zhang Mo would not really think that he got an incurable disease. s.h.i.+ Lei pointed at the chair opposite him, and said lightly: “Sit.” He watched as Zhang Mo sat down, then he said: “Eat.”

“What’s wrong with you dude? Why are you saying one word at a time?”

s.h.i.+ Lei raised his gla.s.s, he said: “Drink!”

Zhang Mo’s nose twitched as he smelled the scent of the crayfish floating towards him. Without caring why s.h.i.+ Lei was acting strange, he picked up a bottle of beer and guzzled down half a bottle as he tilted his head backwards slightly.  

Zhang Mo was a very big eater, it was no problem for them to finish the rest of the crayfish and s.h.i.+ Lei even ordered one more kilogram in consideration of Zhang Mo. Zhang Mo’s eyes shone with excitement and commented that s.h.i.+ Lei was terrific.

“d.a.m.n, I haven’t eaten like this for so long!” Zhang Mo finished the last crayfish, tore himself away from it as he sucked his fingers, raised the bottle and finished drinking the leftover beer.

“Dude, be honest with me, did you win the lottery?”

s.h.i.+ Lei had his nose in the air, said in disdain: “I told you guys before that I’m a fuerdai who keeps a low profile, but you didn’t believe me!”

“Ow, d.a.m.n bro, a fuerdai with your morals like this? Then I would be Obama’s Chinese love child?”

s.h.i.+ Lei shook his head seriously, he said: “Impossible!”

Zhang Mo asked stupidly: “Why?”

“Because Obama is black!”

Zhang Mo was blank for a second, then swore immediately: “f.u.c.k!” And gave s.h.i.+ Lei the middle finger.

It was too late and inconvenient to go home. They had their arms on each other’s shoulders as they walked back to their dorm. When they reached the front door, Zhang Mo pondered for a while. The crayfish feast they had, plus a case of beer, caused s.h.i.+ Lei about 1,000 yuan and it was clearly abnormal. Who did not know that s.h.i.+ Lei’s living expenses was only about 1,500 yuan per month? Even though he occasionally worked as a tutor, that was no more than a few hundred per month, there was no way that s.h.i.+ Lei would treat him this boldly.

The dorm door opened, Zhang Mo turned his head reluctantly and looked at s.h.i.+ Lei earnestly, which made s.h.i.+ Lei jump.

“What are you doing? Although I treated you to a crayfish feast, you don’t have to pledge to marry me. I like women! Beauties with long legs, slim waist and big b.r.e.a.s.t.s!”  

Zhang Mo ignored s.h.i.+ Lei’s words and hesitantly asked: “Stone, you are not actually a fuerdai, are you?”

s.h.i.+ Lei snorted again and strutted into the dorm.

Zhang Mo saw his actions and shook his head, he swore: “f.u.c.k, how can this dude be a fuerdai. I must be blind.” After saying this, he plunged towards his bed, not bothering to take off his clothes, and pulled the blanket over himself and fell asleep in an instant.

But s.h.i.+ Lei sat on his bed, struggling to make sense of what he had encountered in the past week. He only temporarily forgot about it just then, but now, there were no other sounds other than Zhang Mo’s snoring, all the details appeared in his head again.

Silently, he downloaded a tally book app on his phone, recorded the crayfish’s bill down honestly.

Anyhow, beginning from now on, he needed to distinguish which can or cannot be counted towards the weekly quota the best he could.

He had spent more than 800 yuan, leaving about 19,100, he will buy some more new clothes tomorrow.

‘Oh, no, I should buy a fas.h.i.+on magazine first and check which brand of clothes is more expensive!'

With all sorts of reveries, s.h.i.+ Lei finally fell asleep under the alcohol. 

Eunuch(1): a man who has been castrated, especially one employed to guard the women’s living areas at an oriental court 

Little Stone(2): s.h.i.+ Lei’s surname of ‘s.h.i.+(石)’ means stone