THE BEAUTY OF VIRGINITY - 3 Chapter 3: Why You Must Preserve Your Virginity
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3 Chapter 3: Why You Must Preserve Your Virginity

Losing your virginity is a once-in-lifetime experience and so should be treated as such, with so much celebrations and fanfare, it deserves nothing less.

Just as you would desire to throw a party to celebrate your convocation from the University, or to mark the christening of your first child when the time comes, because they are notable achievements in your life that come just once in a lifetime, so also your Disvirginity Day; it is worth celebrating.

You can never forget your first experience of s.e.xual intercourse. So you need to do it with someone very special. The only way to celebrate it is to wait for the day it is meant to be celebrated, which is your wedding day, and not in the corner of a room with a guy who does not know what his future holds yet, or at the back of a car with a girl who is just fantasizing about your giftings, talents and abilities.

Let your wedding night be an unforgettable experience for both you and your spouse. When you wait till the date it is meant to be celebrated, everybody will celebrate with you, and you will be glad you did. Beside everyone celebrating with you, your spouse will also celebrate with you on a special note that night. It will indeed be a memorable day for you. If you have quietly done it in one corner before then, others may celebrate it with you publicly, but there will be no special thing to celebrate with your spouse that night, the icing on the cake is already gone.

If you desire to have a glorious first-time experience, wait for the right time.

IT IS DISOBEDIENCE TO G.o.d

Since it has been established that the marriage inst.i.tution was established by G.o.d, and that s.e.x is only allowed within the confines of marriage, rearranging such divine order should be seen as intentionally flouting divinely const.i.tuted ordinations.

If G.o.d says it is meant for the married, and you decide to engage in it while you are unmarried, such an act of disobedience will not go unpunished by G.o.d. In biblical times, those who engaged in such earned very weighty punishments like being burnt alive or stoned to death. You may not be tied to a stake and be burnt to death in this modern age, but just like every const.i.tuted authority punishes its lawbreaker, G.o.d has a way of making you pay for this disobedience, either now or later.

He may decide to give you an instant on-the-spot punishment or wait till a later date before He unleashes His anger, but one thing is sure, no sinner will go unpunished. If you want to be in G.o.d's good book, then you better do what will make Him continually happy with you. If not, you may have yourself to blame.

IT SHOWS YOU ARE DISCIPLINED

Keeping your virginity will show to your spouse that you are a very disciplined person with good strength of character and that you can patiently control your emotions even under seriously heated pressures.

Not all young men or women can do that. So many will break down with slight s.e.xual pressure from a member of the opposite s.e.x and before they recover their senses, the unexpected would have happened. To have remained a virgin up till now, despite the strong desires and emotional pressures you have to battle with on a daily basis, shows that you are a strong specie. Forget those who call themselves big boys and big girls around you. You are the real big boy here. You are the real big girl.

The good news is that if you are strong enough to keep it till now, you are strong enough to keep it till the right time. What it takes to keep it till the right time is not much more demanding than what it took to get you here. So there is no cause for alarm.

Secondly, if you have been able to discipline yourself in this area of your life with this much level of success, it shows that if you are really determined to, you can discipline yourself in any other area of your life and still achieve a very high level of success. If you are disciplined enough to withstand s.e.xual pressure, you can withstand almost every other pressure, if you so desire.

This is another good news for you. You can make up your mind to be successful in life. You can determine to be the best student in your cla.s.s, department, faculty, or neighbourhood. You may even desire to be the best employee in your working place or the best employer in your field of endeavour. If you face it with the same level of discipline that helped you maintain your virginity till now, you will achieve it.

IT IS WORTH WAITING FOR

Why would one be in a haste to do what he will still have the whole time in the world to do unchallenged? Why will you quietly steal what is meant for you? If it is yours, it is yours. You only have to wait until the right time to have it.

Everyone who ever tasted an unripe fruit (say, pawpaw) will tell you that there is no special joy derived in taking unripe fruits; the real delight is in taking the ripe fruits. That is the same fate that awaits people who are running after s.e.x before marriage. Sad enough, they do not even know that what they want to kill themselves over is just the unripe fruit. They taste the unripe fruit so much that it loses its taste in their mouth.

When they now finally marry and should begin to taste the ripe fruits, their taste buds are already contaminated such that they do not see any difference in the unripe fruits and the ripe fruits. The pleasures and joys they should start savoring have already been enjoyed over the years and there is nothing more to look forward to in the marriage.

Such people will need to do much more than others to keep their marriages from shattering. s.e.x is worth waiting for; so wait until you are ripe for it, bearing in mind that you are not ripe for it until you are married.

IT GIVES A SENSE OF DIGNITY

Knowing that you are still as perfect as you were created will give you inner strength and self-respect. This inner strength and self-respect are great virtues required to have a fulfilled life. If you lose them, you lose something valuable in life.

In addition, it will give you a sense of dignity and honor before others who know your true status, especially your spouse. People still respect virgins, although, they do not say it openly.

More people give a lot of regard to those who are virgins. Those who have lost their respect them because the virgins have been able to keep what they could not keep. Those who have not lost theirs also respect them because they have a firsthand experience of what it means to be a virgin in this generation. Whichever way, those who are still as intact as G.o.d created them have dignity in the eyes of all.

IT AFFECTS YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE

Virginity, in a sense, has to do with your spirituality. Most young adults do not know this. It is an important aspect of your spiritual life. There is a very close connection between the two.

G.o.d appreciates purity and chast.i.ty and keeping your virginity, in a sense, makes you pure and chaste. This indirectly puts you on some level of right standing before G.o.d when it comes to s.e.xuality.

This is just simple reasoning! If virginity has nothing to do with your spiritual life and G.o.d does not appreciate virginity, why will He insist that Jesus must come through one? If the coming of Jesus into the world must be through a virgin, it shows the level of respect and regard that G.o.d has for young men and women who keep themselves chaste.

Young people who lose their virginity always feel dirty, used, unclean, and have a serious guilty conscience after the action. Each time they come into a spiritual environment, they feel odd and out of place. These feelings will go overtime, but it does not mean they are whole again, it only means their consciences have been seared.

This is a very bad state to find yourself in! Anyone in this state, can engage in s.e.xually related sins wilfully, and come into the presence of G.o.d soon afterwards, pretending that all is well and without any feeling of remorse. There is already a severance between such a person and the Creator, and he does not know it.

If your s.e.xual life is pure, to a larger extent, all other areas of your life are likely to be pure, and you can wholeheartedly wors.h.i.+p G.o.d unreservedly, without holding back anything when you are in His presence. Even if some areas of your life are not so pure, it is easier for you to do something about it, than someone whose s.e.xual life is already polluted with all manners of s.e.xually related offences. Such a person will find it difficult to feel very free in the presence of G.o.d, knowing fully well that the things he has done in secrecy may be hidden from men, but are open to G.o.d before whom he stands.

YOU ENJOY THE HEALTH BENEFITS

It has also been discovered that virgins enjoy better health benefits than their counterparts who have lost their golden treasures.

Besides being protected from all the s.e.xually Transmitted Diseases (STD), female virgins are less susceptible to cervical cancer.

Among all types of cancers that attack the well-being of women, cervical cancer is the second most common among women who are still below the age of 35 years. Majority of the cases available are due to HPV, a virus that is contracted through s.e.x. Human Papiloma Virus (HPV) which causes cancer of the cervix is transmitted from the male to the female during s.e.xual intercourse.

One of the latest discoveries of modern science is that women who married early in life or those who are introduced to s.e.xual activity at a very early age are likely to have a higher percentage of risk than others. This means that young ladies who are able to discipline themselves enough to delay s.e.xual activity till a later time in life or till they are married will be saved the stress of cancer attacks later in life.

If you do not believe any of the other reason why you should remain a virgin till your wedding night, this is one important one. Cancer is not one sickness you want to apply for simply because you cannot curtail your libido. It is deadly.

BETTER ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE

Keeping your purity as a student has a way of increasing your academic performance in school.

Frequent involvement in s.e.xual activities before one is married can cause a lot of distractions in life, both to males and females alike. Some of these distractions are highlighted in the last chapter t.i.tled "Dangers of Premarital s.e.x."

As a result of these distractions, s.e.xually active teenagers and youths are likely to give less attention to their academics compared to their counterparts who have suspended all s.e.xual activities till marriage. This loss of concentration may not be very visible during cla.s.s periods, but it will become more obvious when you compare the academic performance of the two groups after the examination.

You will discover that more of those who are s.e.xually chaste will do excellently well, while only a few of those whose lives have been smeared with s.e.xual filth can afford to match the other group's performance.

Virgins, most times, are focussed. Their minds are not distracted by s.e.xual impurities, how to please a partner, heartbreaks, fear of pregnancy, and the like. In addition to the desire to please G.o.d at all times, they have as their main focus, how to have a better academic performance.

This focus and undivided attention to their education help them to give to it all it takes, and in return, they have better results than their s.e.xually corrupt mates.

GIVES YOU A STABLE MARRIAGE

Most people have ignorantly argued that losing your virginity before marriage practically has nothing to do with the divorce rate in marriages. However, this has been proven wrong of late.

A research was recently conducted by Family Medical Issues a.n.a.lyst, Reginald Finger, of Colorado Springs. The study, "a.s.sociation of Virginity at Age 18 With Educational, Economic, Social, and Health Outcomes in Middle Adulthood," examined the outcomes of men and women who remain virgins until they are 18 and above and was published in Adolescent and Family Health, vol. 3, no. 4.

"It is very much as we suspected - that adolescent virginity has a significant impact on well-being in middle adulthood," Finger said. "We found that men and women who were virgins at age 18, when evaluated approximately 20 years later, had about half the risk of divorce, had completed about an additional year of education and had annual incomes nearly 20 percent higher than those who were not virgins at 18. We used 18 as the cut off age because it gave approximately equal populations of virgins and non-virgins to study".

This study was conducted by examining the results from 3,750 men and 3,620 women. Finger continued "We found, as well, that these better outcomes were not merely the result of avoiding teenage pregnancy or fatherhood. The outcomes are inherent to remaining abstinent."

"In addition, we found that female virgins were more likely than their non-virgin counterparts to have a positive financial net worth and were almost half as likely as non-virgins to use welfare benefits," Finger said.

The final conclusion of the research: "The unmistakable message of this study is that abstinence is the best course for our children and teens. Focus on the Family constantly encourages abstinence until marriage as the best choice - the one that is likely to lead to healthy outcomes in several significant measures of well-being. Abstinence is more than just avoiding STDs and teenage pregnancy - as the condom- based curricula seek. Abstinence is, without a doubt, the only choice to give our next generation the best chance in life."

Now, you are sure that keeping your virginity till marriage will help stabilize your marriage against the storm of divorce. From the research above, young adults who kept their virginity until marriage when evaluated 20 years later were discovered to have been able to overcome half the risk of divorce.

So if you want a stable marriage later in life, be you a young man or young woman, you start building the foundation today by appreciating and safeguarding your virginity until your wedding day. It has a way of saving you from divorce.

GUARANTEES A BETTER LIFE IN THE FUTURE

In addition to giving you a stable marriage, it also will guarantee you a better life in the future. This is one of the conclusions from Finger's research discussed above.

Finger said, "In addition, we found that female virgins were more likely than their non-virgin counterparts to have a positive financial net worth and were almost half as likely as non-virgins to use welfare benefits."

One may begin to wonder why this is so. The reason is not farfetched. If s.e.xual purity affects your academic performance as we have discussed earlier, and your academic performance will likely determine what type of job you get after graduating from school, then you can safely deduce that purity pays, both now and in the future.

The best of the jobs around are always reserved for the best graduating students. If you allow your thirst for s.e.xual pleasure cheat you out of becoming one of the best students around, you will soon discover that you have cheated yourself out of the best jobs available.

YOU ARE CREATED TO WAIT

You must forget what society wants you to believe; you are created to wait for the right time. The Master Designer of the universe has perfectly fabricated the intricate design of both a young man and a young woman such that it can withstand whatever pressure comes from external forces, as long as the person is willing to cooperate with G.o.d and live a chaste life.

Each manufacturer always places an instruction manual on each new piece of equipment. As long as the end-user keeps to the terms of usage in the manual, he enjoys the product as it delivers at maximal capacity during usage. If the end-user decides not to go by the recommendation of the manufacturer as stated in the instruction manual, he constantly encounters challenges that are avoidable.

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G.o.d's instruction manual says you are created to wait. Everywhere the issue is mentioned in the scriptures, G.o.d's stand is not mistaken. Marriage is honourable when the bed is undefiled. This is the way G.o.d created it, and to get the best of what G.o.d intends you get through it, it has to be done His way.

G.o.d is not a wicked taskmaster who gives instructions inconsiderably. He understands the challenges you will go through in order to make this possible. He understands the pressure you will receive from members of the opposite s.e.x who think you are acting immature at your age; the discouragement from members of the same s.e.x who feel you are just being paranoid, and the unreasonable looks from immoral members of the society who think you are just taking things too far.

Despite all these, G.o.d still expects you to wait for the right time, because He created you to wait. He has fas.h.i.+oned in your make up during creation all the abilities you need to wait successfully. If only you will trust Him, He will help you.

CONCLUSION

From the afore discussions, it is obvious that keeping your virginity till you are allowed to lose it (your wedding day) is the most ideal thing to do.

If it affects your spiritual life, your relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d, your academics, your health, the stability of your marriage, and your prospects in the future, then you need to give it more attention than you presently give it.