To think the crusaders just kidnapped a detective right in front of him . Where could they be heading? Clyde's anime trope senses rang . a.s.shole "holy" warriors doing shady things which could end up leading to a disaster . Or their humiliation . They were probably plotting for power within their ranks too . Something had to be done about them, eventually .

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The detective was pretty much as good as gone, maybe miles away . No quest bothered to show up, which meant this simply wasn't Clyde's problem . What could he do? Blindly search for the van? He didn't have time to go on a quest to rescue some detective . He still texted his team the news .

"Surely the man destined to save the world isn't going to turn his back on an innocent," someone said, from behind, undetected by Clyde's mystic senses . No airflow, no mood, nothing . He spun and saw Ashard standing there with his arms folded, silent green aura oozing around him . Fairy Queen t.i.tania's son .

"So you know," Clyde said to the young man .

"That doesn't answer my question," Ashard continued . "Will you run to save that woman?"

Clyde said nothing at first then he chose his words carefully .

"Let me ask you this," he said . "What would I accomplish blindly chasing after a woman as troublesome as that? No scratch that—I could bulls.h.i.+t my way through the crusaders . The big question is where will I look?"

"So you will save that woman from her ill fate," Ashard said . "We'll see . I'll take you there . And then you will be more than just talk . Or get slaughtered by crusaders . "

"I don't think so," Clyde said .

"Your answer was given," Ashard said softly . "I will accept no takebacks . "

His eyes flashed . A feeling of lightness struck Clyde and he and the fairy-man, rose hundreds of feet into the air so fast—the young man nearly lost his breath .

"Holy s.h.i.+t man…what the f.u.c.k's going on," Clyde said . "You better not drop me . "

Ashard smirked .

"Try not to p.i.s.s yourself, oh great Stone," he said sarcastically . They both lurched in a seemingly random direction .

"I really shouldn't be storming in there alone," Clyde shouted over the rush of wind . Ashard ignored his protests . Eventually they stopped over a forest, hovering in midair .

"We're about a mile or two from the crusader camp," Ashard said . "For my own safety, I'll be dropping you off here . "

"No you don't," Clyde said . "Just—"

"I'm not taking any chances with them," Ashard said . "And no matter how much you protest, I will indeed drop you here . Meet me back at the hotel . That is, if you survive . If you're truly the Stone . "

Before Clyde could argue, Ashard magically set him on the forest floor .

"Just keep going north," he said then just like that, flew off, leaving the young man standing there with an agape mouth . His day off was gone . Yeah right . He'd just Jump back to the hotel to beat some sense into the douche-nugget .

[Warning: your Jump has been disabled by the forest barrier . ]

[Quest: Rescue Tetra . Reward: relations.h.i.+p link to Tetra and Ashard . Accept? If you don't accept, your relations.h.i.+p with Ashard will fall to hatred . ]

Clyde gritted his teeth and mentally selected yes . What utter horses.h.i.+t . Rus.h.i.+ng in on crusaders—clearly feared by everyone around—and for what? An incompetent detective?

[Your summoning ability has been disabled by the forest barrier . ]

[Area unlocked: Watery-Drippings Forest . ]

Clyde .

Level: 76

Type: Main character/ Stone . Mystic .

HP: 100% (+110%)

MP: 100% (+80%)

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So much for summoning Tear to help him out . He pulled out his phone and as predicted, saw no signal . He was in this alone . Oh well, no use wasting time . The sun wouldn't hang for him forever . He'd treat this like a real-life level or something . The gamer talk kept the young man calm . Dropped off in the middle of f.u.c.king nowhere to possible get his a.s.s handed to him and gutted and no witnesses to see .

Why didn't anyone mention crusaders to him until now? They weren't present in Lot City, but still—why hide this?

[Mentioning crusaders could magically draw the attention to any within a mile radius . ]

"That's some serious s.h.i.+t," Clyde said as he moved forward . "And ridiculous . "

Traveling through the poorly lit forest was actually peaceful . He came across a beautiful stream of clear water and watched an animal that resembled a goat drink from it . He leapt over the water . A few golden-leafed roses sprouted around the area . He picked a few for a lucky girl . He made sure to remove the thorns of course .

As he pa.s.sed a strange green and white plant, the system flashed a prompt .

[Uni-plant . This plant can be used in medicines and potions . An alchemist could make use of it . ]

Clyde stored it in his inventory, but decided not to pick any more until he found someone who could actually utilize them . He pa.s.sed a few more streams and rivers of beautiful water, some with multicolored small fish swimming carefree in them . Obvious indicators to where the forest got its name .

The dark green leaves rustled from a pa.s.sing mild breeze . Some of the leaves were actually blue, reminding the young man of flower petals . He didn't see any dangerous wild animals, just rabbits or lookalikes—that went the same for deer, and other mammals the young man couldn't recognize .

He eventually found a path, to his relief . An easy journey until the crusaders, he thought . Abruptly he noticed a shape meters ahead coming toward him . He unsheathed his sword, preparing to mow it down . He made out the details when it was in view .

She was a short naked pet.i.te young woman wearing a large purple mushroom hat . Long purple-white hair draped to her thighs . In fact, she seemed to be part mushroom—her hands and legs looked like draping purple kimono robes . Of course, he'd run into a monster girl . A quick a.n.a.lysis confirmed that fact .

Myconid- Kuruni

Level: 58

Type: Monster

Work under: N/A .

Special: Entrancing Spore [Only works on men . Breathing in the spore or coming into contact with it will cause l.u.s.t . They will embrace and rap e afterwards . They sometimes take husbands during the rapes . ]

Weakness: fire, ice, volcanic x4 .

Resistances: all of earth and its attributes . Water .

Secret: she's still a virgin .

The monster girl suddenly fell on its face, but bounced off the ground as if its skin was made of elastic . In fact, she never slowed down, falling and bouncing a few more times . For some reason, the young man felt that using steel was a bad idea .

He sheathed his sword and waited . He dodged the first anime-dive, then tripped the myconid .

"Ow!" she cried as she bounced and slammed into a tree . Tears streamed from her eyes . "Why did you do that?"

Clyde gave her a blank stare .

"Look, I know your kind very—"

Kurumi cried .

"A sharp branch is stuck in my leg . "

"Yeah, I'm not falling—" he paused, cringing at the wound . "Well, I'll be going now . Have your—"

"You can't leave me here," she whined . "I'll get eaten . It hurts . Please pull me off the tree . "

"You're not going to rap e me if I do?" Clyde said, still staring at her blankly . He made it as Toru-styled as possible .

[Kurumi activated Cry for Help . ]

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And she cried .

"Fine!" Clyde snapped . "Stop crying . " She did . "No raping . " The monster girl nodded . She was comically stuck on the tree, leg embedded into a lower branch like a prize on a pike . He awkward got behind her . Because this was a serious situation—at least he believed it to be the reason—no b.o.n.e.r rose from being basically pants to soft a.s.s on an anime girl .

Holding his breath, he pulled Kurumi from the tree . Her wound bled for a bit then healed right before his eyes . Regeneration must be nice, Clyde thought .

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you," she said quickly, hugging the young man . "I was afraid you'd leave me to die up there . "

Clyde sighed .

"You really should be careful . And you may want to invest in some clothing . "

"It's not the way of our kind," she said then stepped back from the young man . She gave him a j.a.panese-style bow . "Thank you . "

"It's no proble—"

"Please be my husband!"

Clyde facepalmed .

"No husband declarations either," he said .

"Awe," she said, pouting .

"Anyway, I've got to go," Clyde said .

The monster girl smiled .

"Take care . Oh and take this for saving me . "

She handed the young man a red oval-shaped object, dotted with white .

[You received Root Tree seed . Item cla.s.s: Epic . ]

She bowed again and continued on her way in a jittery run . If some guy actually walked through these woods, Clyde figured he'd be getting "laid . " Not really . Her bad luck probably kept her a virgin .

This deep in the forest, Clyde supposed the crusaders wanted to hide whatever atrocities they were committing . He sent the seed to his inventory for later study .

Unfortunately for the young man, Kurumi was the only friendly encounter . Within minutes, two pointy-eared, green-skinned creatures charged at him with wooden clubs . They were three feet tall, wearing rusty-brown s.h.i.+rts and pants . Pathetic-looking, but brave .

Generic goblin

Level: 35

Type: Monster

Work under: N/A

Special: harder whack .

Weakness: fire and all of its attributes . Same for electricity .

Resistances: poison .

Secret: very jealous of the human men .

[Talent, main character stuff: Second insight . ]

[The goblin women all took on succubus traits, including intense beauty, from the Supreme Demon lord's influence . They won't go near the goblin men . Yet despite raping human men and impregnating themselves, the Supreme demon lord's influence still allows them to produce pure goblin children . Exclusively female goblin children . There were a few goblin females unaffected by this change, but being afraid to be used for exclusive child-bearing, they fled to the Supreme on their own accord to undergo the change and live under her protection . ]

[You have entered combat!]

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"Die stupid human!" they yelled . "Die die die!"

Clyde flashed stepped to the first green menace and delivered a roundhouse kick that spiraled him into a tree . The second monster held his club at the ready then repeatedly swung at the air .

"Ywhoo whoo whoo," it hooted, reminding the young man of a Bruce Lee's chants . He burst into laughter .

"Really, little guy?" Clyde said . Before the goblin could charge, the young man planted a good foot onto his neck . The goblin ended up joining his buddy into the same tree . He was about to walk away when the tree…swallowed both monsters . Then glowed brightly .

[Battle complete . Victory! Reward: 1200 EXP . $100 . ]

"Holy s.h.i.+t!" Clyde exclaimed . "d.a.m.n, I'll never trust a tree again . "

"Oh, don't worry, you will join your goblin friends soon," a voice said . Large eyes and a woody grin appeared on the giant tree . And it moved, using roots .

"A tree mini-boss," Clyde said softly . "Let's see what he's about . "

[Your HP: 210% ]

[Your MP: 150%]

Treeman

Level: 75

Type: Monster

Work under: N/A .

Special: Solar blast . [Does heavy solar damage . Chance to inflict burn at 1%]

Weakness: fire and all of its attributes and holy .

Resistances: earth and dark .

Secret: tree m.a.s.t.e.r.b.a.t.*—

Clyde quickly closed the prompt . It was best for the world to never know what these things did on their free time .

[You've entered combat!]

Clyde sidestepped several giant whip-like branches with the most unconcerned look on his face . The treeman blabbed what felt like an endless list of threats, world domination by the plantae, and how humans would submit or perish . The young man wondered just how a tree developed so many fantasies . He hoped the female equivalent didn't exist .

Thrusting a hand forward, the young man began his a.s.sault .

[You activated Holy spirit wave!]

[SUPER-CRITICAL! WEAKNESS EXPLOITED! ATTACK ONCE MORE . ]

[Enemy HP has dropped to 45% Enemy has been inflicted with spiritual blight!]

The treeman wheezed, eyes widened .

"You—you will suffer to the pit of doom! h.e.l.l, the abyss . . No, not them . I will personally torture you, right over the bodies of your loved ones . "

Clyde's blank stare remained .

"Okay . "

[Enemy activated Solar blast!]

[Clyde activated Spirit s.h.i.+eld . ]

The magic snuffed out within seconds . Clyde materialized a large axe and walked over to the frightened monster while whistling Cell's Theme from Dragonball . One chop silenced the creature for good .

[Enemy HP has dropped to 0%]

[Battle completed . Victory! Reward: 200,000 EXP . ]

Clyde smiled and threw up a fist when a brown chest sp.a.w.ned . MAN were these things rare—which made him feel even more giddy . Rarity made one appreciate them more . He opened it and peeked inside . Everything his .

[You have found a magic lamp . Item cla.s.s: *Relic*]

Clyde's mouth went agape . He recalled the various item cla.s.ses .

[Item cla.s.ses: common, uncommon, rare, very rare, epic, legendary, relic, symbolic, ancient, Dietic . ]

HE FOUND A RELIC ITEM! The young man wanted to dance . And not just any item, but a f.u.c.king magic lamp . Did that mean he could have any wish granted? He'd talk with the others . As he warped the item to his inventory, the young man allowed reality to hit . His cautious nature had no intention of letting him enjoy the moment . That was probably no true wish-granting lamp . But maybe…knowing the system, it could take him to a new menu, which could let him to select a special talent or something . A new menu would be nice .

[You have found Hyper s.e.x Potion . Item cla.s.s: Very rare . ]

"Yeah, no," Clyde said . If Natalia got ahold of it, she'd rap e him and probably hundreds of times . He'd be executed after being sent to prison .

[Item has been added to your inventory by the system . You cannot pour that out here!]

"Okay, Watchers, if this is your doing, I'm going to need you to f.u.c.king stop . "

No reply . He warped the item out of his inventory, but before he could open the lid to pour, he noticed a group of myconids several meters away, running . He promptly sent the potion back in the dimensional storage rift . The system saved him from what could've been a yearlong raping .

[You have found Steel-set armor . Item cla.s.s: rare . ]

Clyde immediately donned his new invisible barrier . After verifying the chest's emptiness, he moved on . The late noon sun hung in the sky,

Half an hour later, Clyde spotted the smoke of campfires and the smell of barbequed meat . His mouth watered .

Shoving the thought of food away, he mentally prepared . This would probably be do or die . What he saw at the camp was not what he expected . It was definitely not what he expected…

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