Proofreader: somnium

Miraila lifted her head.

The rich brown hair, which had changed beauty standards, was a mess.

Her once pale face was tanned by the sun. Her arms were blotchy. It was probably because she did something wrong while doing the laundry.

Her beautiful face had become thin and like a skeleton. Only her large eyes were exposed.

Artizea took off her hat and set it down on the desk.

She then pulled out a desk chair that hadnt been pulled out after someone had organized it, and sat down facing the bed.

As Artizea became older, she looked as if she was Mirailas age as she sat down like this.

Mother.

Artizea called her again.

Miraila didnt respond to that. It didnt seem that she recognized Artizea.

But Miraila opened her mouth, and she just shut it again. She then bowed her head back with a tired look.

.

Artizea sat still for a moment, looking at her.

The first thing that came to her mind was whether to share the news of Lawrence.

She was originally going to let Miraila know. Not because of vengeance, but because she thinks its the right thing to do.

But she decided to not do that. It didnt look like Miraila would be able to withstand the shock.

The monk said Miraila lacked energy, but that didnt seem to be much of a problem.

From the beginning, Miraila was mentally unstable. It seemed that she had taken an extremely gloomy direction and was now unable to do anything.

Are you having a hard time getting by?

.

An answer did not come back.

Her crooked nape looked like it was about to break.

Artizea turned over her hand on her lap until the palm of her hand was facing her. In her hand, the diamond on the bracelet was painfully piercing her palm.

She thought she would never see her again. She didnt even have to.

What will she do with Miraila again?

Artizea had no intention of taking her out of the monastery.

Miraila came here because she had sinned. Her condemned life in the monastery was already merciful enough for the sins she had committed.

If so, can she reconcile with Miraila as a family?

Will Miraila give up on Lawrence even if its too late? Would she consider Artizea as her beloved daughter and embrace her?

Even if she showed that for a while, there was no way it was sincere.

Artizea knew that.

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Cedric is far more merciful than her, so it would have been best for Miraila to lean on his mercy.

If one day Miraila would die before her, it was enough just to hear one line obituary.

But when she came this far, Artizea finally thought of it.

Miraila was Artizeas starting point.

So for her to reap everything, she had to come back here.

Mother.

Artizea called her again.

Miraila will never know how strangely that word strikes her mind.

I gave birth to a baby. She is a daughter.

Artizea spit that one sentence out and sat there for a while.

I experienced life. I thought I had nothing to do with such a thing.

.

Therefore I thought the world would change when I gave birth, but it didnt seem like that.

She herself never became a devoted mother with so much love for her baby.

To make the world a better place for her baby, she didnt even think about it.

But that didnt mean she hated the baby. She nearly died giving birth, but she didnt realize that the baby had come out of her.

She was more lovely than the other babies. Not because she was Artizeas baby, but because she looked like Cedric.

She looks like a person who has been good for a long time, so I wanted to see her grow up to be great. If she grows up well and becomes the perfect heir, then I think Ill be able to hear that its okay to have a child like me, I wish so.

Artizea dropped her gaze and looked down at the floor.

There was nowhere to lay her eyes on the floor of the narrow room, so her gaze reached Mirailas huddled feet.

But I remembered her when I was about to die.

She wasnt very affectionate either.

She never got wet, and she never changed her diaper by hand. She never slept with her baby, and she never hugged her more than a few times.

I thought it would be a much better life for her without me. I thought that not even remembering her would be the only thing I could do for her.

If she thought of the baby, she definitely thought it would be the right thing to do.

It doesnt have to be Artizea. She was accompanied by several wonderful caregivers. There will be people who give her love and there will be people to teach her.

The babys father will protect and love her as much as their twos share.

Having resembled her father, she will surely grow up to be healthy and loving, and she will be a wonderful person.

By the way, I was going to die, and I hesitated after thinking about her.

Artizea was choked a few times.

It wasnt for her baby. It was for herself.

She had no regrets and she thought she was ready to die at any moment, but she wasnt.

Those who had left her behind seemed to have no regrets.

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I thought it was better not to give birth. I thought it would be better not to be left in the babys memory.

Even though she decided to give birth, she was hesitating in the end.

Artizea never thought that she would live again.

From the first time she threw herself into the circle of magic until the second time she did, she never once thought that her life had just begun anew.

Its just that her body rejuvenated and went back in time.

She did not live the same as before, as her circumstances and positions have changed.

There was a time when her heart was pounding. There were times when she was happy. There were times when she felt that she was more withdrawn than before in using people.

Her fate was intertwined like thread. Artizea knew that she sometimes felt that she herself was not alone in the closet but that she was living with other people.

But she hadnt fundamentally changed.

Just as Cedric had resolved to seek her maneuvers and take responsibility for her, so she herself has changed her master from then and has only lived in a way that suits her.

She thought she wouldnt regret it.

All her sins have been done by her decision and she has committed them.

Artizea was a sinner to almost everyone in the world. Her guilt should not have pushed on Miraila a responsibility.

Like those who made the right choice no matter how harsh the circumstances were, so did she with her crime.

It could have been. Because they were human.

So, after all, in the end she is a villainess, and it is her choice to commit her sins.

Like everyone else that was caught up in her ruse and defeated.

Just because she regrets it, it doesnt mean that she wont go back and do the same thing.

So, she tried not to do anything like trying to lessen her guilt. She had no intention of pretending to be a new person.

But even if she cut off Miraila and left Cedric, there was still a lingering regret.

She hesitated to live. Even knowing that she doesnt deserve it.

When Cedric reached out his hand, she saw his arm burst and wanted to hold it.

She couldnt pretend she didnt see the desire creeping up from the bottom of her heart.

So, I want to live again.

Whichever the words touched Mirailas heart, she flinched.

Artizea lifted her head and looked at Mirailas face. Mirailas eyes flickered.

Artizea soon turned her gaze away again and looked out of the window.

Out of the little window, a palm-sized sky could be seen.

I am also trying to create a family for her. How dare I start a new life, but; Im a villainess who should be punished and die anyway, and I am a villainess without shame As long as I live, I will try to live again.

She didnt even know if she would fail.

But she would be fine. Miraila was alone, but she wasnt alone.

The strongest shield in the world would be by her side.

Artizea remained silent for a long time. She thought it had already dried up and was gone, but when she dug it up, too many words filled her heart.

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Never I will never see Mother again. Im not going to do anything about Mother.

Artizea said. She then scraped her scarred bottom, and said what she really wanted to say to her,

But I will forgive Mother.

.

Only my share.

Like a baby who held out her arms while crying because she wanted to be loved even after getting pinched.

Those were the only words of forgiveness she could ever put out of her mouth in this world.

And she said her goodbye.

Turning around, Miraila took a breath.

Tia.

Without checking whether it was a cry or a surprise, Artizea left the room.

Im sorry.

A faint voice behind her back apologized.

Artizea was not caught by those words. She did not deny it, and she did not dare to crush Miraila with cruel words.

The door closed quietly.

Alice was waiting a little further down the hallway.

Madam.

Artizea smiled brightly.

She put the bracelet back on her left hand and walked up to Alice. Alice smiled after her.

You are smiling.

Did you think I would come out crying?

Just in case.

Alice laughed awkwardly.

Artizea wore her hat neatly. And she covered her face with a veil.

Its okay.

Madam.

Because I didnt come to complain. I just wanted to end it.

To end her first life, and start a real second life.

Thank you.

Yes?

Thank you. For always being by my side.

Artizea said so frankly. Alices face turned red.

What do you mean all of a sudden?

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What do I mean? Literally.

Artizea smiled. And reaching out her hand, she grabbed Alices arm.

And she was supported by Alice, and slowly returned to the carriage.