"It's why I don't want to hurt you," he corrected. "You're the one I love."

"And I love you," I proclaimed sincerely. "It's why I started pushing you away last night. I knew I was feeling ill. Logan knew it, too. He was only trying to make sure I was okay. But when you found us sitting next to the fountain together, I used it as an opportunity to let you go so that you didn't have to go through this." I spread my hands out, indicating the hospital room.

He looked relieved. "You could have told me. I wouldn't have left you."

"But I might one day leave you. I could have the same fate as my sister."

"I'm still not going anywhere. But help me to understand. If you're not ready to talk about your sister, tell me what MS is. Don't hold back the details. I'm a grown man. I can handle it."

Yes you are, I thought. Even as I lay sick in the hospital, Rawn still managed to turn me on. I had met many handsome men in recent days, but he was by far the sexiest.

"MS isn't necessarily hereditary, but you can be genetically predisposed to it. My great-grandmother had multiple sclerosis, so it was in our family. Not much is known about it. At least not as much as what needs to be known. Fundamentally, it's a disease that makes the immune system attack the nerve fibers of the nervous system, which disrupts communication between the brain and the spinal cord. It can cause tremors, spasms, weakness, vision problems... There are lots of symptoms."

"How were you diagnosed?" Rawn asked, taking my hand.

I didn't want to recall that time, but I did. "When I was eighteen, I was constantly tired. It was my senior year of high school, and I had always been a good student with no history of attendance problems, but I just could not get myself up for class. At first, my parents thought I was experiencing a personal issue at school, perhaps with a boy or bullies. Or they thought I was depressed because I was missing my sister, Allison, who was away at college. My sister and I had always been close, two birds in the same tree top. I did miss her, but I wasn't depressed. Something was physically wrong with me. When I was finally able to convince my parents of this, they took me to the doctor. I went through a lot of tests, including an MRI, which showed lesions in my brain indicative of MS."

"So you were diagnosed before your sister?"

He was easing me into discussing Allison, but I didn't mind. Now that I was talking about my history and MS, I was ready to tell him everything. "I only have a mild case. The fatigue comes and goes, but it's manageable. I live in constant fear my MS will progress, but so far I've been lucky. My sister wasn't. A year after I was diagnosed, she started to experience the same fatigue. And then she temporarily lost vision in one eye, followed by nightly spasms. It got so bad, she had to defer her year at school and come home. This was two years ago. She was twenty-one, the age I am now. Her symptoms got worse, until one night she had trouble breathing." I stopped, tears filling my eyes.

"Take your time," Rawn said softly, squeezing my hand.

When I could speak again, I continued. "The doctors said she had a rare form of MS, one that was severe and progressed rapidly. Allison was confined to a wheelchair and hooked up to an oxygen tube. God, she was so brave. She refused to cry. Instead, she made us watch comedies and listen to Christmas songs. She said that they were the most cheerful."

"She sounds wonderful," Rawn said.

"She was. But her positive outlook wasn't enough. She got pneumonia, which compromised her system... She didn't recover. She died in the hospital due to complications."

Now that the story was out, I let my tears flow freely. Rawn took me into his arms. "I only have a mild case of MS, but I constantly worry the same thing will happen to me. I don't want to die." I shuddered in his arms. "I want to live until I'm a fiery granny like Betty White. But it's not my choice."

There was no comfort Rawn could give, but it was okay. Him holding me was enough. I didn't know how long he held me. It felt like years. He never let go, not until the door to my room burst open.

Annie stormed in, still wearing her red dress-my red dress-looking frantic. "Oh thank god," she gasped, pushing Rawn out of the way so she could hug me. "Girl, you scared me."

"How did you find me?" I asked, a fresh wave of tears falling. I loved Rawn, but Annie was a steady face. She'd seen me through everything.

"I had assumed you left with Rawn, but when I went to collect my stuff from the coat room, I saw your purse was still there, so I asked around. No one seemed to know anything until I talked to a limo driver. He said his buddy had driven you to the hospital. So I came."

I hoped Annie knew just how much I loved her. I held her tight, telling her so. Then I asked, "The party just ended?"

"It's still going," she informed me. "Russell is too afraid to kick the celebrities out. The cast of that space movie won't leave. Except for Logan Mitchell," she said sadly. "He's vanished." She shook her head. "But never mind all that. Is it..."

Annie had never been able to say the disease out loud. Not since Allison died. I suspected that she was afraid it would somehow make it worse.

"It's not your MS," Dr. Phelps said, walking into the room. I recognized her voice. Now that I was fully awake, I could see she was a middle-aged brunette with kind but tired eyes. "Hi, Madison, I don't know if you remember me from last night?"

"I do, Dr. Phelps. Thank you for seeing me so quickly."

"No worries," she said, checking my IV. "Your test results are in. There's nothing too abnormal. You were severely dehydrated, but the IV is taking care of that. I believe your episode last night to be a mix of dehydration, poor diet, and exhaustion. Nothing directly related to your MS. Just working for a busy company like Cepheus Scientific. But because of your MS, you do have to manage yourself better. You can't become a vampire like Mr. Jackman here."

"I'll make sure she doesn't," he said, gazing at me with the greatest of affection. "I'll take care of her."

"Ew," Annie groaned next to me. "This is too sweet to handle. Does that mean you're coming home?"

"I'd like to keep her here for one more night," Dr. Phelps said. "For observations. And to make sure she has a chance to rest."

"I think that's wise," Rawn agreed. "She won't be going anywhere."

"No," I said, looking at him with purpose. "I won't."

Dr. Phelps smirked into my file before she left the room, but I didn't mind. It was a perfect moment in an imperfect setting. I was elated that my MS wasn't progressing. And I was happy to have Rawn by my side. It was bittersweet. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I recognized that Rawn had not yet taken back his vow not to commit himself to the one he loved...to me. But I pushed it aside to enjoy this one, glorious moment.

"I told you that you had to stop worrying so much about your medical bills," Annie said, walking to the flowers so that Rawn could reclaim his seat by my side. She picked out a white blossom from the bouquet and put it behind her ear. "You put yourself under too much pressure sometimes. The bills are getting paid. You don't have to sacrifice yourself to the company just yet."

"Annie!" I protested. I didn't want Rawn to know about my family's debts.

"What?" she asked innocently. "I just assumed he knew."

"Well, he didn't," I hissed between my teeth, even though Rawn was right next to me.

Rawn looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or lecture me. "So that's why you graduated early? You wanted to work so you could pay off medical bills?"

It would seem the well of sharing was overflowing today. "Annie, would you mind getting me a hot chocolate from the cafeteria? I could use one."

"Sure, cool, no problem," she sang, though I knew she was trying to cover up her hurt at me asking her to leave the room. I felt bad, but there were things I needed to say to Rawn in private.

When she was gone, I faced Rawn directly. "Yes, there are a lot of medical bills, some from my sister, some of my own. We didn't have medical insurance when I was diagnosed. And when my sister fell ill, the insurance company said it was a pre-existing condition and therefore wouldn't cover it. We could have gone to court with them to plead our case, but my parents decided to focus their attention and finances on my sister, especially after she was put into the wheelchair."

"I can help," Rawn offered. "I insist."

"That's not why I'm telling you," I said, horrified that he might think I was asking for charity. I was only trying to fill in the blanks after Annie raised the topic.

"I know. You've never once mentioned your family's situation to me. Truthfully, you've resisted me almost every step of the way."

"I don't think so," I said, thinking of our many nights together.

"I mean like this. On a more soulful level."

I nodded. "No, I haven't opened up. And neither have you. Not until today."

Rawn couldn't argue. "And yet I still feel like I've known you all my life," he said. "Thank God I decided to take my lunch in the park that day."

I beamed, remembering the line I'd used to pick him up. So you're a Taurus? Does that mean you're hung like a bull? "I was actually quite pleased with myself. You were hot. And I wanted to be reckless. I didn't believe I'd actually go through with it."

"I'm glad you did."

"You should also be glad that I happened to already have a job lined up with Cepheus Scientific. Otherwise, we probably wouldn't have met each other again."

"Not necessarily. I went to the park every day for lunch in the days that followed, hoping that you would find me again."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "I thought you said you left me alone in the woods to avoid any awkwardness between us."

He frowned, remembering. "I will spend my life making that moment of folly up to you."

His life? My heart raced. Was he telling me he could commit to me after all? He said he wouldn't leave me...

I didn't press it, afraid of hearing the answer. It was easy to make promises. Keeping them was a lot harder. I knew. Though it was rare and unlikely, there was still a chance my MS could progress like my sister's had.

"How did you manage to find time to take lunch at the park?" I asked, relishing the thought of him sitting at the park bench, waiting. If I were still angry at him, I would enjoy the fact that I never showed even more.

"When you want something, you find time," he said. "And I wanted you."

The following day, Dr. Phelps released me from the hospital.

Rawn was with me. I refused to get into the wheelchair, even though the nurse discharging me insisted. It brought back too many memories of my sister and of how she'd suffered with the disease we shared. To appease the nurse, Rawn carried me in his arms, setting me down only when we reached his car waiting out front.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, setting me gently into the car.

"Much better. I feel great, actually. Whatever they put in that IV, I want some."

"You have some," he said cheerfully. Then his mood turned. "We need to talk."

"We haven't been talking already?" I asked, edging to the far side of the seat so he had room to join me.

"I want you to be my assistant," he asserted. "And this time, I'm not going to take no for an answer."

"Well, you'll have to," I stated firmly. I wasn't angry. I knew he was coming from a good place. He was concerned about my health. But as much as Rawn could control me in bed, I was still a woman of my own domain. Anything Rawn did to me, anything he told me to do, was because I let him. But us working together was one thing I was not willing to negotiate on.

"Why do you still resist me?" he demanded as the driver pulled away from the curb of the hospital. "Haven't I proven to you that you can trust me?"

"Of course you have!" I exclaimed. "But why do you still resist me?"

"I don't know what you mean," he insisted.

I sighed. "Yes, you do. I thought I was beginning to understand you, Mr. Rawn Jackman. But clearly I don't. How can you tell someone you love them, how can you open up to someone the way you did yesterday, and yet still deny them any sense of value in the relationship?"

His eyes were full of emotion. "It breaks my heart that you think I don't value you. Everything I've done, I've done to show you how much I care."

"Loving someone is not the same as valuing them. I worry your love is more like a boy with his toy."

"How can you say that?"

"How can I not?" Suddenly, I wished I was back in the hospital. I wasn't a piece of glass that would break under pressure. I was strong, stronger than I'd realized. If my stay at the hospital had taught me anything, it was that. But I wasn't sure I was up for this conversation, not after the strides we had made in the last two days. "Even now, you still won't commit to me. I know I was the one who pursued you, but that doesn't mean you have free will to take only what you want of me and to leave the rest of me behind."

"I don't leave any of you behind. I want all of you. Please don't push me away again."

Now I was angry. "I'm not pushing you away. You're pushing me away. Don't navigate around the issue. This isn't one of your business meetings. You are not in control. We're in this together."

Frustrated, he ran a hand through his dark hair, his eyes clouding over. "Madison, what is it you want from me? What is there to give that I haven't already given you?"

"Everything!" I fell back into my seat, tired, but not because of any illness or dehydration. "I want you to commit to me. I want to know we have a future together. After talking to Dr. Phelps last night, I feel a bit better regarding my prognosis, the future of my disease. But I still don't know. I don't know if I have an entire lifetime to spend with the man I love. Or if my years are going to be a lot shorter. But I do know that I want to spend my days with someone who can commit to me. Who is willing to give me everything I'm willing to give them."

"Madison, you know Cepheus Scientific is all I know. I can't see myself working anywhere else. I don't want to work anywhere else. But my position requires me to dedicate almost all of my time to my career. I don't want you to go through the same thing my mother did."

"Then what do you want me to go through? What do you plan on happening between us? Are we just going to keep meeting in our secret room until we're both old and gray? Like Dr. Giordano. Like the CEO. Because that's not what I want. I want you, but I'm not willing to hide our love away in a bedroom. Not forever."

"No, that's not what you deserve either."

He looked so sad; I was certain I had lost him for good. That wasn't my intention, but if he still wasn't willing to commit to me after everything we had shared the previous day, it was better to be brokenhearted now than years later. At least that's what I told myself. My mind was taking control while the rest of me, every other part of me, wanted him to hold me, no matter the consequences.

But I was not Pele. I was Namaka. I was wild; I could even be reckless, but I was also smart-smart enough to know that should the day come when Rawn no longer felt a need to meet me in our secret room, I would perish within his flames. The flames of a Leo.

"Rawn, I am not your mother. And you are not your father. Our relationship isn't the same. Your mother married your father not realizing what she was walking into. I know. Hell, I'm in it with you. I work in the company, too. Don't let their relationship ruin ours."

He was silent, contemplating. As usual, his face revealed nothing, his composition blank, but not vacant. I worried he was angry at me for bringing his parents into our argument. But it was valid. The relationship he had witnessed between his mother and father was the whole reason he was holding back now.

Finally, he spoke. "I love you, Madison. Enough to give you everything you deserve. You're right. Our situation is different. We're in this together."

"Do you mean it?" I asked, feeling my heart soar. "We can be together? Truly together."

"We already are. But between your illness, and my stubbornness, neither of us wanted to admit it. But the universe has already woven us together. It would seem quite careless to deny the universe what it wants. I don't think I could deny you, even if it tried."

Experiencing a new kind of euphoria, one that didn't require Rawn to touch my body, but did require Rawn, I pounced forward and kissed him. Never before had I kissed a man with such love and desire. It was the type of kiss that melded souls together. It was the type of kiss that lasted forever.

"So where are we on you becoming my assistant?" Rawn asked, carrying me into the apartment that overlooked the woods-our secret place. He wanted me to rest here for the night, one last easy sleep before I returned to the company. Sex was off the table.

That's what he thought, anyway. I played along, for now. But I had no intention of getting as much sleep as he hoped I would.

I didn't need him to carry me. I really was feeling better. But he had insisted. Now that he was willing to commit to me, and I was willing to commit to him, both of us setting our fears aside, it felt as if we were honeymooners, still on an amorous high after exchanging promises.

"This is really important to you, isn't it?" I queried as set me down on the couch.

"Not only does it allow us to spend as much time together as we can, which won't be much even then, but I want to be there for you. I know you have worries about your MS. But I also know you're as ambitious as everyone else in this company. I don't want to take your ambition away. You'll need it if you want to rise within the company. In fact, once word spreads that we're together, it'll be harder for you. Look at Russell. You'll essentially be in the same boat as him. The CEO doesn't abide by nepotism lightly."

"But what about you?"

"When I was made President of Product Development, the company was established, but it was still pretty young. That was over ten years ago. The advances in technology since then has skyrocketed the company. The CEO can hire an entire team of boy geniuses now. She's grown selective over the years. She makes people work for their supper. I respect her for it."

"How do you pronounce her crazily long last name?" I asked, knowing I would have to figure it out someday.

Rawn shrugged his shoulders. "I can pronounce it if I'm reading it off a piece of paper, but I usually just call her ma'am. I think she prefers it."

"Glad I asked. That makes things a whole lot easier. But what if I try Madame CEO? It'll make her feel like Hilary Clinton when she becomes president."