"If I'm not compatible with Ayla, who on earth would I ever be compati- ble with?" Jondalar said. "This may have been our Matrimonial, but in my heart, we have been mated for a long time."

"That is true. We even said words like that before we crossed the gla- cier, right after we left Cuban and Yorga. We knew we were mated then, but Jondalar wanted you to tie the knot for us, Zelandoni."

"Do you want to become unmated, Ayla? Jondalar?" she asked.

"No, I don't," Ayla said, smiling at Jondalar. "Do you?"

"Not for a heartbeat, woman," he said. "I waited long enough, I'm not about to end it now."

"Then you are released from the prohibition against talking to others and you can declare to all that Jondalar and Ayla of the Ninth Cave of the Zelandonii are mated. Ayla, any children born to you are born to the hearthSome people saw them leaving and called after them, but they kept on going. When they reached the spring-fed pool, Ayla walked into the water fully dressed. Jondalar followed her in. Once Zelandoni had brought it to their attention, they could feel and smell the blood on them, and they wanted to get it off. If the bloodstains were going to come out at all, Ayla thought, it would have to be in cold water. If not, she would probably just dispose of the clothing and make herself some new. After the major hunts, she now owned several hides and various other parts of animals that she ought to be able to use.

They left the horses at the pasture near the Ninth Cave's camp on their way to the zelandonia lodge, and the animals found their own way to their enclosure. The smell of blood was always a little unsettling for them, and both the rhinoceros and the young man had bled profusely. The fenced-in place had a feeling of security to it. Jondalar had wrapped his wet clothing back around him and ran toward the camp, hoping he would find the horses and extra clothing from the pack baskets.

He was surprised to see Lanidar there comforting the horses, but the boy seemed upset and said he wanted to talk to Ayla. Jondalar told him as soon as he brought her some clothes, she would come. He did take the"But why?" Ayla said.

"The baby. They are taking Lorala away from her."

"Who is going to take the baby away from her?" Ayla asked.

"Proleva, and some women," he said. "They say they have found a mother for Lorala, someone who can nurse her all the time."

"Let's go see what this is all about," Ayla said. "We'll come back and take care of the horses later."

When they got to the camp, Ayla was glad to see Proleva there. She saw them coming and smiled. "Well, is it affirmed? Are you mated? Can we have the feast and get out the gifts? You don't have to answer. I see your necklaces."

Ayla had to smile back. "Yes, we are mated," she said."Lanidar said that you are taking the baby away from Lanoga," Ayla said.

"I wouldn't put it that way. I thought you would be pleased that we had found a home for Lorala. A woman from the Twenty-fourth Cave lost her baby. He was born with a serious deformity and died. She's full of milk, and said she'd be willing to take Lorala, even if she is older. She really wants a child, and I get the impression she has miscarried before. I thought it would be a perfect match," Proleva said.

"It does seem like it ought to be. Do the women who are nursing Lorala now want to stop?" Ayla asked.

"Actually, no. I was rather surprised. When I mentioned it to a couple of them, they seemed a little upset. Even Stelona said the Twenty-fourth Cave is so far away, she would be sorry if she couldn't continue to watch Lorala growing strong and healthy," Proleva said.

"I know you were thinking of what is best for Lorala, but did you ask La- noga?" Ayla said.nursing Lorala, she's not even a woman yet. She can only count eleven years."

Ayla remembered that she could count less than twelve years when she gave birth to Durc, and she couldn't give him up then. She would rather have died than give him up. When she lost her milk, the women of the Clan had nursed Durc, but that didn't mean she was any less his mother. She was sorry still that she had to leave him behind when she was forced out of the Clan. She had wanted to take him. It was only her fear about what would happen to him if something happened to her that persuaded her to leave her three-year son behind. It didn't matter that she knew Uba would take care of him and love him as her own. It still hurt when she thought about him. She never got over him, and she didn't want Lanoga to suffer that kind of pain.

"It isn't nursing that makes a mother, Proleva. And it certainly isn't age,"

Ayla said. "Look at Janida. She's not much older, but no one would dream of taking her baby away from her."

"Janida has a mate, and a good one with some status, and her baby will be born to his hearth. He'll always be responsible, and even if the matingdon't spend nearly a year taking care of a baby and not grow to love her.

Lorala is Lanoga's baby now, not Tremeda's. She may be young, but she has been a good mother," Ayla said.

"Yes, of course she's been a good mother. That's just it. She's a won- derful girl and she'll be a wonderful mother someday," Proleva said, "if she ever has the chance. But when she gets old enough to mate, what man will be willing to take her and a little sister, not as a second woman, but as a child he would have to be responsible for that wasn't even born to his hearth? Lanoga has enough going against her, considering the hearth she and Lorala were born to. I'm afraid the only one willing to take her will be someone like Laramar, no matter who recommends her. I'd like to see her have a chance for a better life."

Ayla was sure that Proleva was absolutely right, and it was obvious that she really cared about the girl and would do whatever she could to help her, but she knew how Lanoga would feel if she lost Lorala.

"Lanoga doesn't have to worry about finding a mate," Lanidar said.doesn't care about my arm, and I don't think her mother will care, either."

Ayla and Proleva both gaped at Lanidar, then they looked at each other as though to be sure that they had heard the same thing, and that both of them were thinking the same thing. In fact, it wouldn't be a bad match, es- pecially if the idea really encouraged Lanidar to learn some skills to better himself. They were both decent children, and surprisingly grown-up for their ages. Of course, they were young, and they could easily change their minds, but on the other hand, who else would there be for either one?

"So don't give Lanoga's baby away to some other woman. I don't like to see her crying," Lanidar said.

"She really does love that child," Ayla said, "and the Ninth Cave has been willing to help her. Why not just let things be the way they are?"

"What will I tell the woman who was going to take her?" Proleva said.

"Just tell her Lorala's mother didn't want to give her up. It's true. Tre- meda isn't really her mother, Lanoga is. If that woman really wants a baby, she'll get one, either one of her own or another baby that needs a mother,each other. It turned out that two other people from the Ninth Cave had also mated at the same time to people from other Caves. Proleva learned about them and made sure they were also included. A young woman named Tishona had joined with Marsheval of the Fourteenth Cave, and she would be going to live with him. And another, somewhat older woman, Dynoda, had moved away and had a son, but she severed the knot from her former mate and formed a new relationship with Jacsoman of the Sev- enth Cave. They were moving back to the Ninth Cave. Dynoda's mother was ill, and she wanted to be closer to her.

During the course of the day, other people came to offer their good wishes as well. Levela and Jondecam, and her mother, Velima, who was also Proleva's mother, spent most of the day with them, which pleased Ayla and Jondalar, and Joplaya and Echozar. They all enjoyed each other's company. Jondecam's mother and uncle also came for a while.

Ayla and Jondalar were pleased to see Kimeran, who was now distantly related through his nephew's mate, who was the sister of Jondalar's brother's mate. Ayla got lost in some of the convoluted relationships, but she was particularly pleased to see Jondecam's mother, Zelandoni of the Second Cave. She had met the woman, but hadn't realized who she was.the leaders and the Zelandoni of the Second about it. She felt it would be wise to separate the young couple from Peridal's mother, at least for a while. The First had been quite angry with the woman for forcing herself on them during their trial period of isolation.

Toward evening as things started to quiet down, Marthona made tea for several relatives and friends who were still there. Proleva, Ayla, Joplaya, and Folara helped pass cups around. A young man, who had recently been accepted as an acolyte of the Zelandoni of the Fifth Cave, was also there, staying only because it was the first time that he was a part of such august company and couldn't bear to leave. He was especially in awe of the First.

"I'm sure he'd never walk again if someone hadn't been there who knew what to do," said the acolyte. He had directed his comment to the company at large, but he was really trying to impress the great donier.

"I think you are entirely correct, Fourth Acolyte of Zelandoni of the Fifth.

You are very perceptive," the woman said. "The rest is up to the Great Mother now, and the young man's powers of recovery."him all the time, right now. I presume your Zelandoni has asked for your help. If not, you could volunteer. The Fifth would no doubt appreciate it."

"Yes, of course I'll take a turn," he said, getting up. "Thank you for the tea. I must go now. I have my responsibilities," he said, trying to sound dignified. He squared his shoulders and pulled his face into a serious frown as he headed toward the main camp.

After the young acolyte had gone, several of those who were there fi- nally gave in to the smile they had been struggling to keep from making.

"You have made that young man very happy, Zelandoni," Jondalar said.

"He was almost glowing with pleasure. Do all the zelandonia hold you in such awe?"

"Only the young ones," Zelandoni replied. "The way the rest argue with me, I sometimes wonder why they continue to name me First. Perhaps because I'm more portentous than they are," she said, and smiled. She meant it as a pun on her rather portly size.

Jondalar smiled back, getting the joke. Marthona just gave her a mean- ingful glance with arched eyebrows. Ayla noticed the exchange and thought"Who does decide which one of the zelandonia is First Among Those Who Serve The Mother?" Jondalar asked. "Is it like the leader of a Cave?

Does each Zelandoni just say who they think it should be? Does everyone have to agree, or most of them, or just certain ones?"

"The choices of the individual zelandonia are part of it, but it's not as simple as that. Many things are considered. A gift for healing is one, and no one judges that more severely than zelandonia healers. A person may be able to cover up some ineptitude to people in general, but you can't deceive someone who knows. But healing is not absolutely essential. There have been Firsts who had only a rudimentary knowledge of healing, but it was more than compensated for by ability in other areas. Some have natural gifts or other attributes."

"We only hear about the First. Is there a Second, or a Third? Someone who can step in if something happens to the First? And is there a Last?"

Jondalar asked, warming to the subject. Everyone was interested. Zelan- doni wasn't often so forthcoming about the inner workings of the zelando- nia, but she was noticing Ayla's interest and had her reasons for being so uncommonly candid.Some don't want to go beyond acolyte. They don't want to take on the full burden of responsibility, they only want to exercise their skill, and can do it best within the zelandonia.

"After the acolytes, the next lowest rank are the new doniers. Every Zelandoni must feel they have personally been called, and more than that, they must convince the rest of the zelandonia that it was a true calling.

Some never get beyond the rank of acolyte, even though they may want to.

Sometimes acolytes want to be a Zelandoni so much, they try to claim a false call or even feign one, but they are invariably rejected. One who has been through the ordeal knows the difference. It has made some aco- lytes-and former acolytes-very bitter."

"What else is required to become a Zelandoni," Jondalar pressed, "and what is especially needed to be the One Who Is First?" The rest were happy to let him do the asking. Though some of them, such as Marthona, who was once an acolyte herself, knew most of the requirements, few of the others who were there had ever had their questions to Zelandoni an- swered so directly.into the spirit world, it may be revealed. Being First is also a calling, and not a calling every Zelandoni wants."

"What is it like, the spirit world? Is it frightening? Are you afraid when you have to go there?" he asked next.

"Jondalar, no one can describe the spirit world to one who has never been there. And yes, it is frightening, especially the first time. It never en- tirely ceases to be frightening, but with meditation and preparation, it can be controlled, along with the knowledge that the zelandonia, and particu- larly the Cave, is there to help. Without the help of the people of one's Cave, it could be difficult to return," she explained.

"But if it's frightening, why do you do it?" Jondalar asked.

"There is no way to refuse it."

Ayla suddenly felt a chilling cold, and shuddered.

"Many try to fight it, and some succeed for a while," the donier contin- ued, "but in the end the Mother will have Her way. It is best to go prepared.sponsibilities along with it. I think that's why so few of the zelandonia are mated. There are no restrictions on mating, or having children, but it is much like being a leader. It can be difficult to find a mate who is willing to live with someone who has so many demands made on them. Isn't that right, Marthona?" Zelandoni asked.

"Yes, Zelandoni," she answered, then she smiled at Dalanar before turning to her son. "Why do you think Dalanar and I severed the knot, Jon- dalar? We talked about it the day after your mating. It was more than his urge to travel-Willamar has that, too. In many ways, Dalanar and I were too much alike. He's happy now that he's leader of his own Cave-his own people, really-but it took him a while to understand that was what he really wanted. He fought the responsibility for a long time, but I think that was why he was drawn to me in the first place. Joconan had died and I was already leader when we mated. We were very happy at first. But he became rest- less. It was for the best that we parted. Jerika is the right woman for him.

She is strong willed, and he needs a strong woman, but Dalanar is leader."

The two she mentioned looked at each other and smiled, then Dalanar reached for Jerika's hand.that's one reason I finally passed on the leadership. I was leader for many years with Willamar beside me, and we never had a problem over it, but I grew tired of the demands. I wanted some time to myself, and I wanted to have some time to share with Willamar. After Folara came along, I wanted to be a mother again. Joharran seemed to have the potential, so I started to prepare him, and when he was old enough, I was glad to pass the respon- sibility on to him. He is very much like Joconan, I'm sure he's the son of Joconan's spirit." She smiled at her eldest son. "I still keep a hand in. Jo- harran often consults with me, though I think he does it for my sake, not his."

"That's not true, mother. I value your advice," Joharran said.

"Did you love Dalanar very much, mother?" Jondalar asked. "You know there are songs and stories about your love." He had heard them, but he'd often wondered, if it was really so strong, how could they have parted?

"Yes, I loved him, Jondalar. A small part of me still does. It is not easy to forget someone you have loved that much, and I'm glad we are still friends.

I think we are better friends now than when we were mated." She noticed her elder son. "I still love Joconan, too. His memory remains with me andshe the foreign woman who was being trained by the zelandonia? From some eastern people, what were they called? Zar... Sard... something."

"S'Armunai," Jondalar said.

"That's it. I was still young when she left, but it's said she was quite skilled," Zelandoni said.

"She is S'Armuna now. Ayla and I met her on our Journey. The S'Armunai Wolf Women captured me, and Ayla followed their trail and came after me. We were lucky to get away from them alive. If it hadn't been for Wolf, I don't think either one of us would be here. You can imagine how surprised I was to find someone among those people who not only knew how to speak Zelandonii, but knew my mother!"

"What happened?" several people asked.

Jondalar briefly related the story of the cruel woman Attaroa and the S'Armunai Camp she had perverted. "Although S'Armuna helped Attaroa in the beginning, she regretted it and finally decided to help her people and tryson the zelandonia are so careful about whom they accept. There is no turning back. It's one way we are different from leaders of a Cave. A Zelan- doni is a Zelandoni for life. Even if we may sometimes want to, we cannot drop the burden."

Everyone was quiet for a while, thinking about the story Jondalar had told. They looked up when Ramara came by.

"I'm supposed to let you know, Joharran, that they brought the rhino in.

Jondalar gets credit, it was his spear that killed him."

"I'm glad to hear that, thank you, Ramara."

Ramara would have liked to stay and hear what everyone was talking about, but she did have other things to do, and she wasn't specifically in- vited, although no one would have told her go.

"You have first choice, Jondalar," Joharran said after she left. "Are you going to take the horn?"

"I don't think so. I'd rather have the fur.""None of them had any experience with rhinos, and not much with hunting. They shouldn't have tried to get one on their own. This was a hard way for them to learn that hunting rhinos, or any animal, is not really a game," Joharran said.

"But it is true that if they had brought in that woolly rhinoceros by them- selves, they would have been highly praised, and the envy of their friends,"

Marthona said. "In one sense, this accident, terrible as it was, may help prevent future attempts and even worse tragedies. Think how many young- sters would be trying the same thing if they had succeeded. This way, it may make others think again before they attempt such a game, at least for a while. The mother of this young man may suffer and worry, but it may spare other mothers even more grief. I just hope Matagan survives without severe crippling."

"As soon as Ayla saw the rhino gore him, she raced to help," Jondalar said. "It's not the first time she's rushed into a dangerous situation when someone is hurt, but she worries me sometimes."of the zelandonia so they could learn the extent of Ayla's training, but she was glad for this opportunity to question her alone first. It was unfortunate for poor Matagan, but Zelandoni was glad for this demonstration of her skills to the whole Summer Meeting. It gave her this opportunity to begin to approach the zelandonia with the idea of her entering into their alliance.

Zelandoni had already reevaluated her first impression several times, but now she looked at the young woman in an entirely new light. Ayla was no novice. She was an equal, a true colleague. It was entirely possible that Zelandoni might learn a few things from her. Those club moss spores, for example. That was an application Zelandoni had not used, but upon reflec- tion, it was probably a good procedure. She was anxious to talk to Ayla alone, to compare ideas and knowledge, and it would be good to have someone to talk with at the Ninth Cave.

Zelandoni did work with the other zelandonia in the region and dis- cussed professional matters with colleagues during the Summer Meetings.

She had a couple of acolytes, of course, though she had no serious acolyte interested in healing. To have a true healer within her own Cave, especially one who brought new knowledge, that could be very worthwhile."How can I reassure them?" Ayla said.

"You can say that it is up to the Mother now, but there is a chance that he will be all right. Isn't that your opinion? It's mine," Zelandoni said. "I think Doni smiled on that young man, because you happened to be there."

Jondalar stifled a big yawn as he took off his tunic, a new one he had received from his mother at their mating party, woven of threads of the flax plant that she had prepared and woven. She had arranged for someone else to decorate it with some embroidery and beads, but not too much. It was very lightweight and comfortable. She had given a similar one to Ayla, made very full and loose so she could wear it as her pregnancy pro- gressed. Jondalar had put his on immediately, but Ayla was saving hers for later.

"I've never heard Zelandoni speak so openly about the zelandonia," he said as he prepared to get into their sleeping roll. "It was interesting. I never realized how difficult it could be, but I remember her saying, whenever she had some test to endure, that it had its compensations. I wonder what they are? She didn't talk about it that much."thoughts. "I always thought she and Dalanar just decided to separate. I never knew why. I guess you don't always think of your mother as anything but your mother. Someone who loves you and takes care of you."

"I don't think the separation was easy for her. I think she loved Dalanar very much," Ayla said. "I can understand why. You are very much like him."

"Not in all ways. I never wanted to be a leader. I still don't. I would miss the feel of stone in my hands. There is nothing so satisfying as seeing a perfect blade flake off, one that turned out just the way you planned," Jon- dalar said.

"Dalanar is a flint-knapper, too, Jondalar," Ayla said. "Yes, the best, but he doesn't get the chance to work at it much anymore. The only one who could match him is Wymez, and he's still back at the Lion Camp, making beautiful blades for the spears of the Mammoth Hunters. It's a shame they will never meet. They would have enjoyed learning from each other."

"But you've met them both. And you understand the stone as well as anyone. Can't you show Dalanar what you learned from Wymez?" Ayla said.Jondalar. I think it's something she's always wanted." And this was as close as she could get to what she really wanted, Ayla added in her own mind. She did feel sorry for Joplaya, but she had to admit, she was glad of the prohibition against close cousins mating. "Echozar seems very happy."

"I think he still couldn't quite believe it. There were a few others who felt the same way, for different reasons," Jondalar said, putting his arm around her and nuzzling her neck.

"Echozar loves her almost beyond reason. Such love can compensate for a lot," Ayla said, fighting to stay awake.

"He really isn't so ugly when you get used to him. He just looks different, but you can see the Clan in him," Jondalar said.

"I don't think he's ugly at all. He reminds me of Rydag, and Durc," Ayla said. "I think they are handsome people, the Clan."

"I know you do, and you're right. They are handsome people, in their way. You are pretty handsome yourself, woman." He nuzzled her neck,"That reminds me, Jondalar." She rolled back over to look at him.

"Zelandoni, and the Fifth's donier, and I were talking to his mother. We had to tell her that he could have problems. He may be able to walk again, but no one can say for sure."

"It would be a shame if he couldn't. He's so young."

"We just don't know, of course, but even if he does walk, he may be lame," Ayla said. "Zelandoni asked his mother if he had shown any interest in any skill or craft. The only thing that came to her mind, besides hunting, was that he made his own points for his spears. It made me think of those S'Armunai boys that Attaroa crippled. You were teaching one of them how to knap flint so he could make a life for himself. I told his mother that if it was something he wanted to do, I would ask you if you'd be willing to teach him."

"He's from the Fifth Cave, isn't he?" Jondalar said, thinking over the idea.to know the stone, too." Jondalar's forehead wrinkled as he pondered the implications. "I don't know. I'd be happy to teach him, but I'd have to talk to Joharran about him coming to the Ninth Cave. The boy would have to have a place to live. Joharran would have to work it out with the Fifth Cave, that is, if Matagan wants to learn. He may have been making points because he couldn't find anyone else to make them for him, and he wanted to hunt.

We'll see, Ayla. It's a possibility. If he was hurt that badly, he will need to learn some craft."

They both settled down in the furs, but as tired as Ayla was, sleep did not come immediately. She found herself thinking about her future, and that of the baby she was carrying. What if it was a boy and he wanted to bait rhinos? What if something else happened? And where was Wolf? He was almost like a son to her, too, but she hadn't seen him for several days.