THE KING HAD A PLATTER

The King had a platter Of brisket and batter, The Prince had a Bellington bun, The Queen had a rose To put to her nose As soon as the dinner was done.

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RAIN

The lightning split the sky in two And set the clouds to leaking Just as dear old Pastor Brown Began his Sunday speaking.

He told about the awful rain That fell in Noah's day, And one by one the happy smiles Began to fade away.

In half an hour the people all Put on their rubber coats, And when he finished everyone Was out and building boats.

OLD FATHER McNETHER

Old Father McNether He sorts out the weather And takes what he pleases, I'm told, With a big turkey-feather He mixes the weather, And makes it blow hot and blow cold.

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JERRY WAS A JOKER

Jerry was a joker.

He carried off the poker And dressed it up from head to heel In clover-tops and orange-peel And fed it bones and barley meal.

Poor old Rusty Poker!

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KING KOKEM

King Kokem lay snoozing upon his bra.s.s bed-- Oh, play an old tune on your fiddle!

With shoes on his feet, and a crown on his head-- Oh, tune up your rusty old fiddle!

He dreamed of a land where the lions were tame, Where they fried their lamb-chops on a griddle, Where they called all the parrots and monkeys by name-- Oh, play us a tune on your fiddle!

He dreamed of a sea filled with raspberry pop, With a cocoanut isle in the middle, Where the stones and the boulders had icing on top-- Go strike up a tune on your fiddle!

He dreamed of a sky where the moonbeams all danced While a comet was telling a riddle, Where the stars and the planets and sun-dogs all pranced While the moon played his fiddle de diddle.

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OLD MISSUS SKINNER

Old Missus Skinner Had dumplings for dinner And sat on a very high stool; When she cut thru the hide There was nothing inside, Which I'm sure was not often the rule.

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OH, MOTHER

Oh, Mother, Oh, Mother, Come quickly and see, The house and the farmyard Have gone on a spree.

The pig's in the pantry, The chickens are out, The parrot is perched On the tea kettle spout.

And mercy, Oh, mercy, Oh, what shall I do?

A rat has run off With my very best shoe.

CELLA REE AND TOMMY TO

Two funny friends that you all know Are Cella Ree and Tommy To.

About as queer as friends can be, Are Tommy To and Cella Ree.

For hours they sit there grim and stable Side by side upon the table.

Tom is red and Cella pale, His blushes are of no avail; She sits, in spite of his endeavor, As firm and undisturbed as ever, A funny pair, you must agree, This Tommy To and Cella Ree.

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