Evidently the Portuguese traders were pushing the slave-trade with greater eagerness than ever. Slave-hunting chiefs were marauding the country, driving peaceful inhabitants before them, destroying their crops, seizing on all the people they could lay hands on, and selling them as slaves. The contrast to what Livingstone had seen on his last journey was lamentable. All their prospects were overcast. How could commerce or Christianity flourish in countries desolated by war?
Every reader of _The Zambesi and its Tributaries_ remembers the frightful picture of the slave-sticks, and the row of men, women, and children whom Livingstone and his companions set free. Nothing helped more than this picture to rouse in English bosoms an intense horror of the trade, and a burning sympathy with Livingstone and his friends.
Livingstone and the Bishop, with his party, had gone up the Shire to Chibisa's, and were halting at the village of Mbame, when a slave party came along. The flight of the drivers, the liberation of eighty-four men and women, and their reception by the good Bishop under his charge, speedily followed. The aggressors were the neighboring warlike tribe of Ajawa, and their victims were the Manganja, the inhabitants of the Shire Valley. The Bishop accepted the invitation of Chigunda, a Manganja chief, to settle at Magomero. It was thought, however, desirable for the Bishop and Livingstone first to visit the Ajawa chief, and try to turn him from his murderous ways. The road was frightful--through burning villages resounding with the wailings of women and the shouts of the warriors. The Ajawa received the offered visit in a hostile spirit, and the shout being raised that Chibisa had come--powerful chief with the reputation of being a sorcerer--they fired on the Bishop's party and compelled them, in self-defense, to fire in return. It was the first time that Livingstone had ever been so attacked by natives, often though they had threatened him. It was the first time he had had to repel an attack with violence; so little was he thinking of such a thing that he had not his rifle with him, and was obliged to borrow a revolver. The encounter was hot and serious, but it ended in the Ajawa being driven off without loss on the other side.
It now became a question for the Bishop in what relation he and his party were to stand to these murderous and marauding Ajawa--whether they should quietly witness their onslaughts or drive them from the country and rescue the captive Manganja. Livingstone's advice to them was to be patient, and to avoid taking part in the quarrels of the natives. He then left them at Magomero, and returned to his companions on the Shire.
For a time the Bishop's party followed Livingstone's advice, but circ.u.mstances afterward occurred which constrained them to take a different course, and led to very serious results in the history of the Mission.
Writing to his son Robert, Livingstone thus describes the attack made by the Ajawa on him, the Bishop, and the missionaries:
"The slave-hunters had induced a number of another tribe to capture people for them. We came to this tribe while burning three villages, and though we told them that we came peaceably, and to talk with them, they saw that we were a small party, and might easily be overcome, rushed at us and shot their poisoned arrows. One fell between the Bishop and me, and another whizzed between another man and me. We had to drive them off, and they left that part of the country.
Before going near them the Bishop engaged in prayer, and during the prayer we could hear the wail for the dead by some Manganja probably thought not worth killing, and the shouts of welcome home to these b.l.o.o.d.y murderers. It turned out that they were only some sixty or seventy robbers, and not the Ajawa tribe; so we had a narrow escape from being murdered.
"How are you doing? I fear from what I have observed of your temperament that you will have to strive against fickleness.
Every one has his besetting fault--that is no disgrace to him, but it is a disgrace if he do not find it out, and by G.o.d's grace overcome it. I am not near to advise you what to do, but whatever line of life you choose, resolve to stick to it, and serve G.o.d therein to the last. Whatever failings you are conscious of, tell them to your heavenly Father; strive daily to master them and confess all to Him when conscious of having gone astray. And may the good Lord of all impart all the strength you need. Commit your way unto the Lord; trust also in Him. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will bless you."
Leaving the "Pioneer" at Chibisa's, on 6th August, 1861, Livingstone, accompanied by his brother and Dr. Kirk, started for Nya.s.sa with a four-oared boat, which was carried by porters past the Murchison Cataracts. On 23d September they sailed into Lake Nya.s.sa, naming the grand mountainous promontory at the end Cape Maclear, after Livingstone's great friend the Astronomer-Royal at the Cape.
All about the lake was now examined with earnest eyes. The population was denser than he had seen anywhere else. The people were civil, and even friendly, but undoubtedly they were not handsome. At the north of the lake they were lawless, and at one point the party were robbed in the night--the first time such a thing had occurred in Livingstone's African life[61]. Of elephants there was a great abundance,--indeed of all animal and vegetable life.
[Footnote 61: In _The Zambesi and its Tributaries_, Livingstone gives a grave account of the robbery. In his letters to his friends he makes fun of it, as he did of the raid of the Boers. To Mr. F. Fitch he writes: "You think I cannot get into a sc.r.a.pe.... For the first time in Africa we were robbed. Expert thieves crept into our sleeping-places, about four o'clock in the morning, and made off with what they could lay their hands on. Sheer over-modesty ruined me. It was Sunday, and such a black ma.s.s swarmed around our sail, which we used as a hut, that we could not hear prayers. I had before slipped away a quarter of a mile to dress for church, but seeing a crowd of women watching me through the reeds, I did not change my old 'unmentionables,'--they were so old, I had serious thoughts of converting them into--charity! Next morning nearly all our spare clothing was walked off with, and there I was left by my modesty nearly through at the knees, and no change of shirt, flannel, or stockings. After that, don't say that I can't get into a sc.r.a.pe!" The same letter thanks Mr. Fitch for sending him _Punch_, whom he deemed a sound divine! On the same subject he wrote at another time, regretting that _Punch_ did not reach him, especially a number in which notice was taken of himself. "It never came. Who the miscreants are that steal them I cannot divine, I would not grudge them a reading if they would only send them on afterward. Perhaps binding the whole year's _Punches_ would be the best plan; and then we need not label it 'Sermons in Lent,' or 'Tracts on h.o.m.oeopathy,' but you may write inside, as Dr. Buckland did on his umbrella, 'Stolen from Dr. Livingstone.' We really enjoy them very much. They are good against fever. The 'Essence of Parliament,' for instance, is capital. One has to wade through an ocean of paper to get the same information, without any of the fun. And by the time the newspapers have reached us, most of the interest in public matters has evaporated."]
But the lake slave-trade was going on at a dismal rate. An Arab dhow was seen on the lake, but it kept well out of the way. Dr. Livingstone was informed by Colonel Rigdy, late British Consul at Zanzibar, that 19,000 slaves from this Nya.s.sa region alone pa.s.sed annually through the custom-house there. This was besides those landed at Portuguese slave ports. In addition to those captured, thousands were killed or died of their wounds or of famine, or perished in other ways, so that not one-fifth of the victims became slaves--in the Nya.s.sa district probably not one-tenth. A small armed steamer on the lake might stop nearly the whole of this wholesale robbery and murder.
Their stock of goods being exhausted, and no provisions being procurable, the party had to return at the end of October. They had to abandon the project of getting from the lake to the Rovuma, and exploring eastward. They reached the ship on 8th November, 1861, having suffered more from hunger than on any previous trip.
In writing to his friend Young, 28th November, 1861, Livingstone expresses his joy at the news of the departure of the "Lady Nya.s.sa;"
gives him an account of the lake, and of a terrific storm in which they were nearly lost; describes the inhabitants, and the terrible slave-trade--the only trade that was carried on in the district. It will take them the best part of a year to put the ship on the lake, but it will be such a blessing! He hopes the Government will pay for it, once it is there.
The colonization project had not commended itself to Sir R. Murchison.
He had written of it sometime before: "Your colonization scheme does not meet with supporters, it being thought that you must have much more hold on the country before you attract Scotch families to emigrate and settle there, and then die off, or become a burden to you and all concerned, like the settlers of old at Darien." It was with much satisfaction that Livingstone now wrote to his friend (25th November, 1861): "A Dr.
Stewart is sent out by the Free Church of Scotland to confer with me about a Scotch Colony. You will guess my answer. Dr. Kirk is with me in opinion, and if I could only get you out to take a trip up to the plateau of Zomba, and over the uplands which surround Lake Nya.s.sa, you would give in too."
When the party returned to the ship they had a visit from Bishop Mackenzie, who was in good spirits and had excellent hopes of the Mission. The Ajawa had been defeated, and had professed a desire to be at peace with the English. But Dr. Livingstone was not without misgivings on this point. The details of the defeat of the Ajawa, in which the missionaries had taken an active part, troubled him, as we find from his private Journal. "The Bishop," he says (14th of November), "takes a totally different view of the affair from what I do." There were other points on which the utter inexperience of the missionaries, and want of skill in dealing with the natives, gave him serious anxiety.
It is impossible not to see that even thus early, the Mission, in Livingstone's eyes, had lost something of its bloom.
It was arranged that the "Pioneer" should go down to the mouth of the Zambesi, to meet a man-of-war with provisions, and bring up the pieces of the new lake vessel, the "Lady Nya.s.sa," which was eagerly expected, along with Mrs. Livingstone, Miss Mackenzie, the Bishop's sister, and other members of the Mission party. An appointment was made for January at the mouth of the river Ruo, a tributary of the Shire, where the Bishop was to meet them. He and Mr. Burrup, who had just arrived, were meanwhile to explore the neighboring country.
The "Pioneer" was detained for five weeks on a shoal twenty miles below Chibisa's, and here the first death occurred--the carpenter's mate succ.u.mbed to fever. It was extremely irksome to suffer this long detention, to think of fuel and provisions wasting, and salaries running on, without one particle of progress. Livingstone was sensitive and anxious. He speaks in his Journal of the difficulty of feeling resigned to the Divine will in all things, and of believing that all things work together for good to those that love G.o.d, He seems to have been troubled at what had been said in some quarters of his treatment of members of the Expedition. In private letters, in the Cape papers, in the home papers, unfavorable representations of his conduct had been made. In one case, a prosecution at law had been threatened. On New Year's Day, 1862, he entered in his Journal an elaborate minute, as if for future use, bearing on the conduct of the Expedition. He refers to the difficulty to which civil expeditions are exposed, as compared with naval and military, in the matter of discipline, owing to the inferior authority and power of the chief. In the countries visited there is no enlightened public opinion to support the commander, and newspapers at home are but too ready to believe in his tyranny, and make themselves the champions of any dawdling fellow who would fain be counted a victim of his despotism. He enumerates the chief troubles to which his Expedition had been exposed from such causes. Then he explains how, at the beginning, to prevent collision, he had made every man independent in his own department, wishing only, for himself, to be the means of making known to the world what each man had done. His conclusion is a sad one, but it explains why in his last journeys he went alone: he is convinced that if he had been by himself he would have accomplished more, and undoubtedly he would have received more of the approbation of his countrymen[62].
[Footnote 62: Notwithstanding this expression of feeling, Dr.
Livingstone was very sincere in his handsome acknowledgments, in the Introduction to _The Zambesi and its Tributaries_, of valuable services, especially from the members of the Expedition there named.]
At length the "Pioneer" was got off the bank, and on the 11th January, 1862, they entered the Zambesi. They prided to the great Luabo mouth, as being more advantageous than the Kongone for a supply of wood. They were a month behind their appointment, and no ship was to be seen. The ship had been there, it turned out, on the 8th January, had looked eagerly for the "Pioneer," had fancied it saw the black funnel and its smoke in the river, and being disappointed had made for Mozambique, been caught in a gale, and was unable to return for three weeks. Livingstone's letters show him a little out of sorts at the manifold obstructions that had always been making him "too late"--"too late for Rovuma below, too late for Rovuma above, and now too late for our own appointment," but in greater trouble because the "Lady Nya.s.sa" had not been sent by sea, as he had strongly urged, and as it afterward appeared might have been done quite well. To take out the pieces and fit them up would involve heavy expense and long delay, and perhaps the season would be lost again. But Livingstone had always a saving clause, in all his lamentations, and here it is: "I know that all was done for the best."
At length, on the last day of January, H.M.S. "Gorgon," with a brig in tow, hove in sight. When the "Pioneer" was seen, up went the signal from the "Gorgon"--"I have steamboat in the brig"; to which Livingstone replied--"Welcome news." Then "Wife aboard" was signaled from the ship.
"Accept my best thanks" concluded what Livingstone called "the most interesting conversation he had engaged in for many a day." Next morning the "Pioneer" steamed out, and Dr. Livingstone found his wife "all right." In the same ship with Mrs. Livingstone, besides Miss Mackenzie and Mrs. Burrup, the Rev. E. Hawkins and others of the Universities Mission, had come the Rev. James Stewart, of the Free Church of Scotland (now Dr. Stewart, of Lovedale, South Africa), who had been sent out by a committee of that Church, "to meet with Dr. Livingstone, and obtain, by personal observation and otherwise, the information that might be necessary to enable a committee at home to form a correct judgment as to the possibility of founding a mission in that part of Africa." It happened that some time before Mr. Stewart had been tutor to Thomas Livingstone, while studying in Glasgow; this drew his sympathies to Livingstone and Africa, and was another link in that wonderful chain which Providence was making for the good of Africa. From Dr. Stewart's "Recollections of Dr. Livingstone and the Zambesi" in the _Sunday Magazine_ (November, 1874), we get the picture from the other side.
First, the sad disappointment of Mrs. Livingstone on the 8th January, when no "Pioneer" was to be found, with the anxious speculations raised in its absence as to the cause. Then a frightful tornado on the way to Mozambique, and the all but miraculous escape of the brig. Then the return to the Zambesi in company with H.M.S. "Gorgon," and on the 1st of February, in a lovely morning, the little cloud of smoke rising close to land, and afterward the white hull of a small paddle steamer making straight for the two ships outside.
"As the vessel approached," says Dr. Stewart, "I could make out with a gla.s.s a firmly built man of about the middle height, standing on the port paddle-box, and directing the ship's course. He was not exactly dressed as a naval officer, but he wore that gold-laced cap which has since become so well known both at home and in Africa. This was Dr.
Livingstone, and I said to his wife, 'There he is at last.'
She looked brighter at this announcement than I had seen her do any day for seven months before."
Through the help of the men of the "Gorgon," the sections of the "Lady Nya.s.sa" were speedily put on board the "Pioneer," and on the 10th February the vessel steamed off for the mouth of the Ruo, to meet the Bishop. But its progress through the river was miserable. Says Dr. Stewart:
"For ten days we were chiefly occupied in sailing or hauling the ship through sand-banks. The steamer was drawing between five and six feet of water, and though there were long reaches in the river with depth sufficient for a ship of larger draught, yet every now and then we found ourselves in shoal water of about three feet. No sooner was the boat got off one bank by might and main, and steady hauling on capstan and anchor laid out ahead, almost never astern, and we got a few miles of fair steering, than again we heard that sound, abhorred by all of us--a slight b.u.mp of the bow, and rush of sand along the ship's side, and we were again fast for a few hours, or a day or two, as the case might be."
The "Pioneer" was overladen, and the plan had to be changed. It was resolved to put the "Lady Nya.s.sa" together at Shupanga, and tow her up to the Rapids.
"The detention," says Dr. Stewart, "was very trying to Dr.
Livingstone, as it meant not a few weeks, but the loss of a year, inasmuch as by the time the ship was ready to be launched the river would be nearly at its lowest, and there would be no resource but to wait for the next rainy season.
Yet, in the face of discouragement, he maintained his cheerfulness, and, after sunset, still enjoyed many an hour of prolonged talk about current events at home, about his old College days in Glasgow, and about many of those who were unknown men then, but have since made their mark in life in the different paths they have taken. Amongst others his old friend Mr. Young, of Kelly, or Sir Paraffin, as he used subsequently to call him, came in for a large share of the conversation."
Meanwhile Captain Wilson (of the "Gorgon"), accompanied by Dr. Kirk and others, had gone on in boats with Miss Mackenzie and Mrs. Burrup, and learned the sad fate of the Bishop and Mr. Burrup. It appeared that the Bishop, accompanied by the Makololo, had gone forth on an expedition to rescue the captive husbands of some of the Manganja women, and had been successful. But as the Bishop was trying to get to the mouth of the Ruo, his canoe was upset, his medicines and cordials were lost, and, being seized with fever, after languishing for some time, he died in distressing circ.u.mstances, on the 31st January, Mr. Burrup, who was with him, and who was also stricken, was carried back to Magomero, and died in a few days.
Captain Wilson, who had himself been prostrated by fever, and made a narrow escape, returned with this sad news, three weeks after he had left Shupanga, bringing the two broken-hearted ladies, who had expected to be welcomed, the one by her brother, the other by her husband. It was a great blow to Livingstone.
"It was difficult to say," writes Dr. Stewart, "whether he or the unhappy ladies, on whom the blow fell with the most personal weight, were most to be pitied. He felt the responsibility, and saw the wide-spread dismay which the news would occasion when it reached England, and at the very time when the Mission most needed support. 'This will hurt us all,' he said, as he sat resting his head on his hand, on the table of the dimly-lighted little cabin of the 'Pioneer,' His esteem for Bishop Mackenzie was afterward expressed in this way: 'For unselfish goodness of heart and earnest devotion to the work he had undertaken, it can safely be said that none of the commendations of his friends can exceed the reality,'
He did what he could, I believe, to comfort those who were so unexpectedly bereaved; but the night he spent must have been an uneasy one."
Livingstone says in his book that the unfavorable judgment which he had formed of the Bishop's conduct in fighting with the Ajawa was somewhat modified by a natural instinct, when he saw how keenly the Bishop was run down for it in England, and reflected more on the circ.u.mstances, and thought how excellent a man he was. Sometimes he even said that, had he been there, he would probably have done what the Bishop did[63]. Why, then, it may be asked, was Livingstone so ill-pleased when it was said that all that the Bishop had done was done by his advice? No one will ask this question who reads the terms of a letter by Mr. Rowley, one of the Mission party, first published in the Cape papers, and copied into the _Times_ in November, 1862. It was said there that "from the moment when Livingstone commenced the release of slaves, his course was one of aggression. He hunted for slaving parties in every direction, and when he heard of the Ajawa making slaves in order to sell to the slavers, he went designedly in search of them, and intended to take their captives from them by force if needful. It is true that when he came upon them he found them to be a more powerful body than he expected, and had they not fired first, he might have withdrawn.... His parting words to the chiefs just before he left ... were to this effect: 'You have hitherto seen us only as fighting men but it is not in such a character we wish you to know us[64].'" How could Livingstone be otherwise than indignant to be spoken of as if the use of force had been his habit, while the whole tenor of his life had gone most wonderfully to show the efficacy of gentle and brotherly treatment? How could he but be vexed at having the odium of the whole proceedings thrown on him, when his last advice to the missionaries had been disregarded by them? Or how could he fail to be concerned at the discredit which the course ascribed to him must bring upon the Expedition under his command, which was entirely separate from the Mission? It was the unhandsome treatment of himself and reckless periling of the character and interests of his Expedition in order to shield others, that raised his indignation. "Good Bishop Mackenzie," he wrote to his friend Mr. Fitch, "would never have tried to screen himself by accusing me." In point of fact, a few years afterward the Portuguese Government, through Mr. Lacerda, when complaining bitterly of the statements of Livingstone in a speech at Bath, in 1865, referred to Mr. Rowley's letter as bearing out their complaint. It served admirably to give an unfavorable view of his aims and methods, _as from one of his own allies_. Dr. Livingstone never allowed himself to cherish any other feeling but that of high regard for the self-denial and Christian heroism of the Bishop, and many of his coadjutors; but he did feel that most of them were ill-adapted for their work and had a great deal to learn, and that the manner in which he had been turned aside from the direct objects of his own enterprise by having to look after so many inexperienced men, and then blamed for what he deprecated, and what was done in his absence, was rather more than it was reasonable for him to bear[65].
[Footnote 63: Writing to Mr. Waller, 12th February, 1863, Dr.
Livingstone said: "I thought you wrong in attacking the Ajawa, till I looked on it as defense of your orphans. I thought that you had shut yourselves up to one tribe, and that, the Manganja; but I think differently now, and only wish they would send out Dr. Pusey here. He would learn a little sense, of which I suppose I have need myself."]
[Footnote 64: Mr. Rowley afterward (February 22, 1865) expressed his regret that this letter was ever written, as it had produced an ill-effect. See _The Zambesi and its Tributaries_, p. 475 _note_.]
[Footnote 65: It must not be supposed that the letter of Mr. Rowley expressed the mind of his brethren. Some of them were greatly annoyed at it, and used their influence to induce its author to write to the Cape papers that he had conveyed a wrong impression. In writing to Sir Thomas Maclear (20th November, 1862), after seeing Rowley's letter in the Cape papers, Dr. Livingstone said: "It is untrue that I ever on anyone occasion adopted an aggressive policy against the Ajawa, or took slaves from them. Slaves were taken from Portuguese alone. I never hunted the Ajawa, or took the part of Manganja against Ajawa. In this I believe every member of the Mission will support my a.s.sertion." Livingstone declined to write a contradiction _to the public prints_, because he knew the harm that would be done by a charge against a clergyman. In this he showed the same magnanimity and high Christian self-denial which he had shown when he left Mabotsa. It was only when the Portuguese claimed the benefit of Rowley's testimony that he let the public see what its value was.]
Writing of the terrible loss of Mackenzie and Burrup to the Bishop of Cape Town, Livingstone says: "The blow is quite bewildering; the two strongest men so quickly cut down, and one of them, humanly speaking, indispensable to the success of the enterprise. We must bow to the will of Him who doeth all things well; but I cannot help feeling sadly disturbed in view of the effect the news may have at home. _I shall not swerve a hairbreadth from my work while life is spared_, and I trust the supporters of the Mission may not shrink back from all that they have set their hearts to."
The next few weeks were employed in taking Miss Mackenzie and Mrs.
Burrup to the "Gorgon" on their way home. It was a painful voyage to all--to Dr. and Mrs. Livingstone, to Miss Mackenzie and Mrs. Burrup, and last, not least, to Captain Wilson, who had been separated so long from his ship, and had risked life, position, and everything, to do service to a cause which in spite of all he left at a much lower ebb.
When the "Pioneer" arrived at the bar, it found that owing to the weather the ship had been forced to leave the coast, and she did not return for a fortnight. There was thus another long waiting from 17th March to 2d April. Dr. and Mrs. Livingstone then returned to Shupanga.
The long detention in the most unhealthy season of the year, and when fever was at its height, was a sad, sad calamity.
We are now arrived at the last illness and the death of Mrs.
Livingstone. After she had parted from her husband at the Cape in the spring of 1858, she returned with her parents to Kuruman, and in November gave birth there to her youngest child, Anna Mary. Thereafter she returned to Scotland to be near her other children. Some of them were at school. No comfortable home for them all could be formed, and though many friends were kind, the time was not a happy one. Mrs.
Livingstone's desire to be with her husband was intense; not only the longings of an affectionate heart, and the necessity of taking counsel with him about the family, but the feeling that when over-shadowed by one whose faith was so strong her fluttering heart would regain, its steady tone, and she would be better able to help both him and the children, gave vehemence to this desire. Her letters to her husband tell of much spiritual darkness; his replies were the very soul of tenderness and Christian earnestness. Providence seemed to favor her wish; the vessel in which she sailed was preserved from imminent destruction, and she had the great happiness of finding her husband alive and well.
On the 21st of April Mrs. Livingstone became ill. On the 25th the symptoms were alarming--vomitings every quarter of an hour, which prevented any medicine from remaining on her stomach. On the 26th she was worse and delirious. On the evening of Sunday the 27th Dr. Stewart got a message from her husband that the end was drawing near. "He was sitting by the side of a rude bed formed of boxes, but covered with a soft mattress, on which lay his dying wife. All consciousness had now departed, as she was in a state of deep coma, from which all efforts to rouse her had been unavailing. The strongest medical remedies and her husband's voice were both alike powerless to reach the spirit which was still there, but was now so rapidly sinking into the depths of slumber, and darkness and death. The fixedness of feature and the oppressed and heavy breathing only made it too plain that the end was near. And the man who had faced so many deaths, and braved so many dangers, was now utterly broken down and weeping like a child."
Dr. Livingstone asked Dr. Stewart to commend her spirit to G.o.d, and along with Dr. Kirk they kneeled in prayer beside her. In less than an hour, her spirit had returned to G.o.d. Half an hour after, Dr. Stewart was struck with her likeness to her father, Dr. Moffat. He was afraid to utter what struck him so much, but at last he said to Livingstone, "Do you notice any change?" "Yes," he replied, without raising his eyes from her face,--"the very features and expression of her father."
Every one is struck with the calmness of Dr. Livingstone's notice of his wife's death in _The Zambesi and its Tributaries_. Its matter-of-fact tone only shows that he regarded that book as a sort of official report to the nation, in which it would not be becoming for him to introduce personal feelings. A few extracts from his Journal and letters will show better the state of his heart.
"It is the first heavy stroke I have suffered, and quite takes away my strength. I wept over her who well deserved many tears. I loved her when I married her, and the longer I lived with her I loved her the more. G.o.d pity the poor children, who were all tenderly attached to her, and I am left alone in the world by one whom I felt to be a part of myself. I hope it may, by divine grace, lead me to realize heaven as my home, and that she has but preceded me in the journey. Oh my Mary, my Mary! how often we have longed for a quiet home, since you and I were cast adrift at Kolobeng; surely the removal by a kind Father who knoweth our frame means that He rewarded you by taking you to the best home, the eternal one in the heavens. The prayer was found in her papers--'Accept me, Lord, as I am, and make me such as Thou wouldst have me to be.' He who taught her to value this prayer would not leave his own work unfinished.
On a letter she had written, 'Let others plead for pensions, I wrote to a friend I can be rich without money; I would give my services in the world from uninterested motives; I have motives for my own conduct I would not exchange for a hundred pensions.'