The Perfect Run - Chapter 72: Plushieland
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Chapter 72: Plushieland

For a second, none of the Psychos dared to move.

Instead, they looked at the surreal scene before them. That of an adorable rabbit plushie standing right outside the room, surrounded by blood and corpses. Ryan never told Len much about this unholy abomination, and so, these fools didnt expect to awaken it. The seal had been broken, and hell set loose.

The plushie noticed the Black Elixir in Big Fat Adams hands, and looked at it with curiosity.

Dont do it.

The plushie playfully glanced at Ryan.

Dont do it!

And then, the worst came to pass.

The plushie noticed Little Sarah, bound on the table. Its ears raised up in interest, and it uttered cursed words, Child detected!

Finally realizing the danger, Psyshock launched his wire tentacles at the plushie, while Ghoul unleashed an ice shard volley. The possessed toy leapt into the air with unnatural agility, its eyes turning red. A laser blast hit Psypsy and vaporized his brain, the rabbit bouncing off walls to dodge attacks.

Realizing the danger of Ryan dying in the crossfire, Hannifat Lecter turned towards his captive with the Black Elixir bottle raised. No escape! he snarled angrily, intent on corrupting the time-traveler.

In a sudden but inevitable betrayal, Sarin unleashed a blast of compressed air at her boss. The attack threw Adam against a wall, shattered the bottle, and splattered him with black ooze. The vicious cannibal let out a scream of agony, as the Black Elixir ate through his reinforced skin and consumed him whole.

Call it Karma.

Sarin, you traitor! Ghoul raised his hands to freeze everyone in the room, too dim to realize it would kill Ryan and make him restart. Before Mr. Dem Bones could do anything though, the plushie bounced against his chest like a cannonball. The cryokinetic tripped on Adams leg and fell onto his boss lap, the black ooze immediately latching on to him as well. Soon, the scene looked like two birds desperately trying to escape an oil spill, and failing.

Lets hug! the plushie abandoned everything to leap on the table and lovingly hug Sarah. The little girls gagging muffled her screams of fear and confusion. Well be together, forever and ever!

What the fuck? Sarin looked at the scene in shock, before getting her priorities straight. Using weak but focused vibrations, she disabled Ryans bindings one by one.

AH! Ryan gasped for air after spitting out the apple in his mouth. That was close.

Its not over yet, Sarin warned, as the Black Elixir finished consuming its two victims. Somehow though, it didnt collapse into nothingness like in the previous loop. Ryan quickly understood why. Ghoul couldnt die, but the Black Elixir devoured its hosts.

A paradox.

And somehow, the situation allowed the Black Elixir to stabilize in the shape of a colossal, monstrous blob of dark goo; an oily shoggoth. Its victims eyes and mouth floated on the surface, the lips moving to form words. You it said, the alien voice belonging to neither of its hosts. You you open the gate send me back back to the Black

Sarin raised her hands to blast the creature, but Ryan stopped her by standing up between the ooze and her. He had an idea.

Look for the stars in the night sky...

How about this? Ryan told the shoggoth. You help me, and I help you.

If the creature was sentient and needed help, then perhaps it understood the concept of reciprocity.

The goo fluctuated and wriggled, but much to Hazmat Girls surprise, didnt make a move to attack. It didnt even try to assimilate Ryan, perhaps because it needed him alive and functional. Help... how? the ooze asked with a confused voice.

Ryan glanced at the corridor outside the room, glimpsing some movement on the other end. Psyshock must have summoned his thralls. Helping me live through this would be a start?

Wait, you arent offing yourself? Sarin asked, a bit surprised.

Not yet, Ryan replied. This run was doomed from the start, but it also provided a unique opportunity. Im all for assisted suicide, but only in moderation.

Alright The shoggoth slithered out of the room, Psyshocks thralls immediately opening fire at the alien abomination. Bullets hit the creature without damaging it, and it quickly devoured them like it did with the Psychos.

Man, you tamed a giant slime, Sarin said, astonished.

A shoggoth, Ryan replied, before glancing at the other abomination in the room.

Pop!

Correction, the two rabbit abominations in the room. While the original kept hugging Sarah by the neck, the clone pulled out a switchblade and cut her bindings. The poor girl immediately removed her gagging and took a deep breath, like Ryan before her.

Are you alright, Sarah? the courier asked her, the little girl backing away in fear and falling off the table.

Who are you? she asked in a panic. Where are we? How do you know my name?

Before Ryan could answer, the second plushie removed its switchblade to grab Sarahs hand instead. Lets play together! it said, all but begging its new bonded child, who had no idea how to react.

Later, Ryan told the critter, before trying to reassure Sarah. Im your moms friend.

Ma? She was all strange, and these guys they took everyone.

Yeah, Adam wanted to throw them at the bases defenses, Sarin said, before observing the plushies more closely. Do they multiply or something? Come here, fluffy.

The two rabbits looked at Sarin with crimson eyes.

Hey, hey, stop! Ryan pleaded by protecting Hazmat Girl with his body, neither of the critters dropping their murderous attitude. Shes thirteen too, in her head! Lets save the other preteens first, then we resort to violence.

The two plushies calmed down, speaking in unison, Lets go to Disneyland!

Were not going to Disneyland, Ryan said, cracking his knucklebones. Were already there.

I dont understand whats going on anymore, Sarin admitted.

Story of my life. The courier looked at the corridor beyond the room, which the shoggoth had cleaned up of life. All the thralls, and even the plushies previous victims, had been consumed by the ooze. Thanks for the assist, by the way. I almost regret beating you up in previous loops.

I didnt help you pro bono, jackass, she replied gruffly. Do you have a cure? Can you make me human again?

I dont have a cure on myself, Ryan admitted. But I think I have the resources to make one.

So like Adam. She crossed her arms, disappointed, but not surprised. Always the same bullshit.

Except hes a sociopathic cannibal, and Im a friendly, grass-eating time-traveler. One should sound a little more trustworthy than the other. Who else knows about my power?

Uh, maybe Acid Rain? She wanted to skewer you on sight, so Adam kept her outside.

Whalie had kept the secret close to his chest to avoid a leak or mutiny, which served Ryan fine. If he could get rid of Psyshock, nobody else in the Meta-Gang would know the truth.

So whats the plan, Quicksave? Sarin asked, as the two plushies both took Sarah by one hand and tried to lead her towards the slaughter. The little girl was still too cowed to follow through with it. If you arent killing yourself.

First we save the children and Shortie, then were taking over.

Sarin froze a second. What, the bunker?

Yes, the bunker. With Adam gone, most of the Meta outside the base, and his current allies inside, Ryan had a once in many lifetimes opportunity. Since the plushie had already entered its duplication phase, the run was ruined beyond repairs, but the courier would have the opportunity to study Mechrons tech up close. I will need a gun, and drugs. Something that can alter the brain quickly.

Like every drug ever? Sarin deadpanned, but went along anyway. I think Psyshock keeps a batch of Bliss in the infirmary. Mongrel cant sleep without that stuff. The other hellions should be there too.

Well, lets go take some eye medicine then. If Psyshock was mostly made of brain tissues, then drugs should paralyze him like Enriques toxin. Sarah, you stay with the plushies until Uncle Ryan comes back with your mom. You dont leave them, but you dont listen to what they say either. Theyre a baaaaad influence.

Lets play outside! the plushies replied, eager to sow chaos.

Sarah anxiously bit her lower lip, exactly like Len. Adorable! Youre leaving me alone?

Oh, youre safe, trust me. Its everyone else who isnt. Ryan walked outside the room and into the corridor, Sarin following him like his shadow. Well clear the way.

After a short walk, the duo entered an underground chamber with seven vats full of colored liquid, each representing a different Elixir. Mutated animals floated in three of them, linked to strange machinery, and Ryan counted two blast doors on each side.

The courier recognized the room as the one where he died fighting Hannifat Lecter in a previous run, though one of the blast doors was closed back then. The Meta-Gang must have unlocked the next area while he slept, but it did them no good; Ryan could hear screams and gunfire coming from the next room, as thralls tasked with exploring the bunker faced the shoggoth.

Android parts covered the ground, alongside the occasional tools. Since most were bloodied, Ryan assumed they were what remained of the plushies victims after it made its way to the cell. The thralls must have been disassembling robots before being interrupted.

Infirmary is the other way, Sarin said, as Ryan searched through the tools on the ground for a weapon to use. Eventually, he settled on a bloodied hammer, elegant in its simplicity.

Youre not mad about Ghoul? Ryan asked her, as they left the central hub for the next corridor. I thought the two of you were an item or something.

What? No, I hate that mofo, its just Adam always pairs us up because weve got good power synergy. Hazmat Girl suddenly considered the implications of his question. How many times did we fight before?

If I looked up jobber in the dictionary, your picture would come to mind.

She flipped him the bird in response. A witty sidekick, she wasnt.

I knew this job would suck, but I still signed on. Miss Chernobyl shook her head in annoyance. What you said, about Adam

He blew up New Rome with Mechrons orbital laser. You were fighting with him until the end. Which was why he remained wary of her presence. He still remembered her playing a song alongside Adams cronies, after they burned the city.

His words did seem to spook her though. Guess I lost all hope of a cure then, but sheesh, burn the whole

She froze in place, as the towering figure of Frank the Mad walked in on them from the other side of the corridor. The colossus kept his body down to move inside the narrow space, the tentacled shadow of Psypsy slithering behind him. Ryan hastily hid his hammer behind his back, immediately thinking of a plan.

Frank, capture him, Psyshock ordered, pointing a tentacle at Ryan. He didnt even pay attention to Sarin. I want him alive!

Yes, Mr. Vice-President.

The schizophrenic giant took a step forward, but Ryan quickly thought on his feet. Agent Frank, he said, pointing a finger at Psyshock with his free hand while keeping the hammer hidden with the other. Arrest this Viet Cong traitor! He murdered President Adam!

His words caused the giant to flinch in confusion, while Psyshock and Sarin were too confused to say a word.

Ryan Romano, CIA! Quicksave continued to bluff, now fully roleplaying. This man is a commie sympathizer who murdered the POTUS! And he killed Kennedy too! The bullet bent, Agent Frank! He made it bend in midair!

You cannot trick me! Frank said, regaining his composure. He might suffer from delusions, but he wasnt entirely stupid either. I know we brought you to Guantanamo for a waterboarding session, and youre going back in there! Youre the communist spy!

He set me up! Ryan kept accusing Psyshock with an experienced actors talent. He set me up in an attempt to silence me! And when I convinced the President of the truth during the interrogation, he murdered him! He murdered him, Frank!

This is nonsense! Psyshock said, though he didnt dare attack Ryan directly. Perhaps reading Lens memories taught him that he shouldnt engage the courier without backup. Frank, hes trying to divide us. Dont listen and power through.

Agent Romano is telling the truth, Frank, Sarin said, finally understanding Ryans ploy. She pointed a finger at Psyshock, who hadnt expected her betrayal. I swear it, Psyshock murdered Adam. I saw it.

Sarin, once we are done, I will disperse you to the winds, Psyshock threatened her, you will never reform.

These are serious accusations, Agent Sarin, Frank declared. Sarins lies had weakened his resolve. Do you have any proof?

I have! Ryan said, freezing time.

When it resumed, Psypsy held a bloody hammer in a tentacle.

Look at his tentacles! Ryan said, both Psyshock and Frank noticing the hammer. He carries the crimes weapon in his dirty tentacles! The Presidents blood is still on it! He was trying to hit you by surprise with it!

A hammer, Sarin said with a nod. Her acting, while wooden, worked somewhat. A communist weapon. Those fools cant help themselves.

Frank, you are immune to metal! Psyshock argued while hastily throwing the weapon away. The delusional giant kept looking back and forth between his superior and Ryan. I couldnt harm you even if I wanted to! He stopped time and set me up!

Unfortunately for him, his last words confused Frank even more. As Sarin had warned, it appeared the Meta-Gangs leadership did keep their troops in the dark about the couriers power.

And Hazmat Girl immediately seized the opportunity. Do you hear him, Frank? she said mockingly. Stopping time? How childish. Now that he has been caught red-handed, he will tell any lie to save himself!

The president died in my arms, Agent Frank, Ryan continued to appeal to the madmans delusions, mimicking the act of holding a dying person. With his last breath, he tasked me to find you! He said, find Agent Frank he who fought Nazis in Alamo, and Viets in the jungle our greatest hero only he

Ryan shed crocodiles tears.

Only he can save democracy!

His tearful words echoed in the corridor, like a desperate plea for help.

Frank the Mad looked at the courier and Sarin, then at Psyshock, then back at the duo, and finally at his superior. Mr. Vice-President, he finally spoke up, I swear, we will clear this misunderstanding up with due process.

No, you dimwit! Psyshock shouted, infuriated by the giants madness. He is speaking nonsense! Youre not even America

But Psyshock had forgotten something that Ryan learned long ago in his anger. The main reason why it was so difficult to work with Psychos.

To run an asylum full of madmen, you had to speak their language.

I voted for you! Frank suddenly punched Psyshock so hard his head exploded in a shower of brain matter. The fist hit the corridors wall with such strength, it caused the whole bunker to shake. I voted for you, and you betrayed my feelings!

And as Dynamis psyche report on him attested, Frank didnt react well to people contradicting his delusions.

So long as I live, this great nation will never fall to communism! Frank turned around and walked towards the other end of the corridor. Ryan guessed he intended to take the elevator to the upper levels, and hunt Psyshocks newest host. Better dead than red!

The furious giants steps caused the ground to shake, leaving a cowed Sarin and Ryan behind. I hope it was worth it, jackass, she told him while glancing at Psyshocks bloody remains, because only Adam can manage Frank when hes pissed. None of us can kill him.

My hope exactly. As Dynamis predicted, without Big Fat Adam to keep them unified, the whole Meta-Gang would implode with the right push. And now that the path to the infirmary was clear, Ryan knew exactly where to start.

After a short walk, the duo reached the whitened room in question, separated from the corridor by a glass window; the exact same place where the courier had discovered Psyshocks terrible immortality. The orphanages children were kept in cages like rats or strapped to operating tables, right next to crates full of knockoff Elixirs.

Hi, kids! the courier waved a hand at them with a bright smile. Were here to free you, and bring you to your moms magical place!

Youre going to rape us? one of the children, Giulia, asked Ryan from inside a cage.

What, no!" Ryan protested in horror. "Of course not, I would never do that! Why are you even asking?

You only have boxers on the little girl replied, unconvinced.

Woman, Ryan asked Sarin, as she started scavenging the supplies, where is my supersuit?

I think Psyshock threw your clothes in the incinerator.

Ryans gaze turned murderous. Then these fools have chosen death.

Thisll help. Sarin tossed him a Dynamis-made laser gun and a Bliss-inhaler. Your weapon and drugs.

Perfect, Ryan replied, immediately checking the guns energy reserves. Not good, but passable. Got any remorse massacring your old comrades, buddy?

Nope, she replied.

Excellent. Then, as if this day couldnt get crazier, Ryan noticed half a dozen furred shapes leaping into the corridor outside the infirmary. The demonic critters looked through the glass window at the children, mesmerized.

Children detected! Entering cute mode!

And so began Ryans first Meta Run.

With chaos and madness.