"Don't enter in! Stand where ye be." Never one to listen much, I entered in anyway and heard a scrambling. I t was a moment before my eyes adjustedto the dimness and I saw him huddled against the back wall, covered over with a worn blanket. "Y e canna come into this place, Cadi. Go back!" Edging to the right, he felt the bed and found his leather hood, snatching it beneath the blanket covering.

"I need your help, Sin Eater."

"I canna help ye, child! I told ye before. Now, go away and leave me alone!"

"Fagan's fainted. He's just down the mountain, hidden in a cleft in the rocks just past the waterfall."

"What've ye done, girl? Wait and take him back down. Neither one of ye should be here. This is the mountain of the dead."

The Spirit stirred within me. "Get up, mon! Stop cowering in the darkness! Y e will no longer sit like a pile of dry bones. Y ou willstand up and live as you w ere meant to do!"

He rose, the blanket dropping away as he quickly pulled the leather hood over his face. "Are ye mad?

Think what you're doing. What put it in your mind tobring 358your friend to me, knowing what I am?"

"Aye, I know what ye are. Y e're a man like all the rest!"

"Not like the rest. I 've eaten sin twenty years past! I am sin now. Dunna ye understand yet? I t's overtaken me. And it will overtake you if ye do not go back where ye belong."

I stepped forward, hands at my sides, chin jutting.

"Have ye forgotten ye sent me to hear the word of the Lord? Well, I heard it!" I went out into the light.

Hungry and thirsty for it, he followed. "And?" he said, his very stance speaking his eagerness to receive the word of the Lord as well.

"I 'll not speak to you again until Fagan's safe inside your cave."

He uttered a frustrated cry. Trouble hovers over ye like a black cloud!"

I didn't argue. I simply led him down the mountain, glad my back was to him and he couldn't see the smileglad my back was to him and he couldn't see the smile on my face.

Fagan was where I 'd left him, still unconscious. The sin eater did not come inside the cleft, but stood gazing in at the boy. I could see his eyes fill with compassion, but hemade no move to do anything.

"Y e'll have to carry him," I said.

360"I 'll not touch the lad and bring more sorrow on him!"

"Then what? Leave him here? There's thunder in the distance. I t'll be raining soon. He'll get wet. He'll get sick. Maybe he'll die. Y e want that on your head along with everything else?"

"I thought ye said ye'd not talk to me again until I had the lad safe inside my cave."

My face grew hot and I pressed my lips together, glaring up at him.

"Easy, lass. I 'll make a stretcher. Y e've only to get him on it so I can drag him the rest of the way to shelter."359

Eighteen.

Fagan came round when we were safely inside the cave. "What happened?" he said weakly. I told him, seeing how his gaze moved about the strange environs. The place smelled of cool earth, wood ash, and stone. Somewhere deep inside the cavern water dripped softly.

"Is this where he lives?"

"Aye."

"Then where is he?"

"Gone awhile. Down the mountain to see about Bletsung, I reckon." I t was long past sunset, the crackling fire our only light and warmth.

"I t's raining," Fagan said, the wet rush pounding the earth outside the cave opening. I added another stick to the fire. Fagan was shivering, and I was about to take one of the fur coverings from the bed, when a voice behind me stopped me cold."Don't touch that!" The sin eater stood just inside the entrance of the cave. Fagan sucked in his breath, staring up at the tall, thin man wearing a leather hood.

In one hand was a large, dressed rabbit. "Look 361away, boy." Fagan did so quickly.

"He's cold."

"These'll warm him." The man swung a large bundle on a pole from his shoulder and set it down before me.

"From Bletsung. She said ye'll have to stay awhile." He nodded toward the bundle. "Put the blanket around him. I t's all right. I 've not touched it."

I untied the bundle quickly and handed Fagan the dry blanket folded inside. Bletsung had also sent three loaves of bread, a jar of honey, a small sack of dried apples, a larger one of dried beans, and a dozen long strips of dried venison jerky tied with some string.

Setting up the frame, he spitted the rabbit and set it over the fire to roast. Then he broke the pole over his knee. T aking one half, he broke it again and tucked the two pieces into the fire. Breaking the other half, he set the pieces aside for later."What about the Kai?"

"He must've gone back another way."

"And my mother?" Fagan said in a tense voice, shivering.

The sin eater cocked his head slightly toward Fagan, careful not to look at him. "She's at the cabin. Long as she stays with Bletsung, she's safe."

"Thank you, sir," Fagan said.

362The sin eater went to the back of the chamber and sat. The wind blew outside the cave, rustling the dark woods round about. Thunder rolled in the distance. The fire crackled, filling the cave with a soft, warm glow and the smell of roasting meat. My stomach cramped, and I knew it would be a long time before the rabbit was cooked enough to eat. T earing off some bread, I dipped it in the honey and gave it to Fagan.

Breaking off a larger piece, I poured honey on it and rose. "I t must be cold back there, Sin Eater. Come sit by the fire with us?"

"I t's better I stay here.""Y e're soaked through from the storm."

"I have to keep my distance from ye."

Some feeling stirred within me, melting away my fear of him, and I rose. Dragging the fur covering from the sin eater's bed, I hauled it toward him.

"Leave it be!" The man half rose and yanked the cover away from me. "Y ou know not what ye do!"

I stood my ground and held out the bread with honey.

"Y ou're hungry. Eat."

"Ah, Cadi, dunna be so rebellious, child. Y e must shun the sin eater or be tainted by the blackness I carry."

"I won't shun you!" I stepped closer. "Now, take the bread and come sit with us."

363He grew frustrated. "I f anyone ever finds out you've been here with me, touching my things, you'll be an outcast like I am! I will not have it so!"

"I don't carewhatthey say."

"Nor do I ," Fagan said simply, gazing now withoutfear at the man.

The sin eater groaned in despair, sinking down onto the earthen floor near the stone wall of the cavern. He held his head in his hands. "Y e canna stay here! Y e canna!" He raised his head, his eyes tormented.

"There's no hope for me. I thought there might be, but with that poor man laid to rest on the mountain top, all hope is gone. I am the sin eater and will be until my days are done. There is no deliverance for me."

"But there is," I said, aching for him, feeling his anguish as though it were my own.

"Nothing ye can tell me will make a difference. I 've sins past bearing upon my soul, and when my time comes, God's going to cast me into the outer darkness where there'll be nothing for me but torment and the gnashing of teeth."

Fagan leaned forward, his face intense in the firelight. "Not if another sin eater takes away your sins."

The sin eater raised his head, cocking it 364slightly like an animal listening intently. "Is thatwhat's in your heads? I 'd sooner die with the sins upon me than see another man suffer the same fate."

"When you die, they'll choose another. Like it or not, that's the way of our people," Fagan said. "Y ou know it's so."

"Aye, but that's a long time off yet. I 'm strong and healthy. Y e've nothing to worry about. And besides that, ye've never done anything so bad the lot would fall to you."

"How would ye know that?" Fagan said.

"I know because I 've watched you. The lot always falls to the one deserving of it." He hung his head.

"God pierces and divides the soul and spirit like joints and marrow. He knows a man's thoughts and intents of his heart. There is no creature on earth that can hide from God's sight. I know that, too, for there was great evil in my heart that drove me to commit a terrible sin. I didn't think what I did wrong, but then the Lord brought me to face myself and I saw the darkness in me. He made known to me the motives of my heart, and they were evil." He raised his head slightly, but kept his eyes averted from us, staring instead into the flames. "Iasked God to forgive me and poured out reasons for what I 'd done. But, you see, I fooled myself. My heart and soul 365were naked before God Almighty, and he saw into the blackness of my soul. When the lot fell to me, I knew the Lord God had cast judgment upon me."

I hunkered down, wishing he would look at me so that I could see into his eyes. "What did you do that was so terrible?"

"I t doesn't matter now."

"Y ou matter."

"No. Our people matter. Y e've got to understand. I have work to do and it's important work. Someone has to be the living sacrifice. Someone has to take their sins away. Who can stand before God on the judgment Day with their sins still upon them?"

"No one," Fagan said simply.

"Just so," the man said softly. "That's why I do what I do. I 've sorrow aplenty, 'tis true, but no regrets. I t's nobody's fault but my own I am the sin eater. And in away, the Lord has blessed me in it. For each time someone dies, I know I 'm part of seeing them safely on. Y our granny understood, Cadi. She stood in the graveyard once knowing I was there in the woods watching and said loud enough for me to hear that there's no greater love than for a man to lay down his life for his friends. And I do love my people. And from a distance, I 've been a small part of their lives. I 'm willing to stand 366forfeit for their sins. Better that one man be cast into hell so that the others will have a chance of heaven."

"One, yes," Fagan said, "but not you."

"Y e dunna understand, lad. I t's been done this way in Scotland and Wales since time immemorial, and it'll be done just the same. The lot is cast into the lap, but the whole disposing thereof is of the Lord. I t was God's will I am what I am."

"I t was the will of men, not God."

"Y e know not of what ye speak."

"I know the truth, and you will have it! Do ye think yecan take the place of God?" Fagan asked.

"Never was it so! Not in all my born days."

"And yet ye've tried. All these years you've been the sin eater, thinking to take the sins of others upon yourself, and ye've done nothing but stand in the way of the Lord."

I cringed, for Fagan's words, though true, were like a hot iron on an open wound. I could see the man recoiling in pain.

"How can ye say that to me, lad? Someone's had to be the living sacrifice. I t's ever been my desire to serve God."

"Of myself, I 'm saying nothing. I 'm telling you what the man of God told us.

367There is only one Lamb of God, and he is Jesus Christ. We've no need of a scapegoat anymore. We need him."

"I 've eaten the sins of my friends so that they can have salvation." I heard the anger in his voice. "Have I not done as God called me to do? Was it not my lotthat was chosen?"

"I t was Satan who cast the lot, and ye've served him well."

"I 've never served Satan! I t's only been in my heart to serve God and make up for what I 'd done!"

"Then confess and repent! Be free of it!"

"T o you, a lad? Not likely!"

"Do you really believe God needs you to fulfill his purpose?"

"Fagan, dunna be so cruel," I pleaded, seeing the hurt in the sin eater's eyes. His heart was tender and already broken. Wasn't there a gentler way?

"Get behind me!" Fagan said to me, his eyes blazing. "He will know the truth, and the truth will set him free!"

"What is the truth?" the sin eater said. "T ell me! I want to know the truth! Before God, I swear it! Dunna spare a word of what the man told ye!""So be it," Fagan said. "Hear it and be set free of sin and death. Hear and know the 368word of the Lord. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."

The firelight danced upon the walls and my skin tingled as he spoke, for the voice of the One who spoke through the man by the river now spoke through Fagan as well.

"Our Lord Jesus is full of grace and truth. Jesus of Nazareth was God's anointed sent to take the sin of the world uponhimselfsothat we might be saved.Heperformed miracles of healing.Hecast out demons.Heraised the dead. Andhewas put to death, nailed to a cross becausehe aloneis the Lamb of God.

Only he, the Holy One, can wash away the sins of the world. And Christ did that day on Calvary. He died to set men free. And God raised him up on the third day and granted that men might see him so that they would know without doubt no power could hold him in the grave. And Jesus told those who believe in him topreach to the people and testify thatheis the one, theonlyone appointed by God as judge of the living and the dead. For it was of this Jesus Christ that all the prophets of old bore witness that through his name everyone 369who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins and eternal life. And even now, Jesus Christ sits at the right hand of God."

My heart exulted and I rose, the Holy Spirit loosening my tongue as I raised my hands to heaven. "Surely our griefs he himself bore, and our sorrows he carried; yet we ourselves esteemed him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. He was pierced through for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our wellbeing fell upon him, and by his scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on him."

The cave was filled with light and warmth, and Fagan stood and spoke forth the word of the Lord that had been put in his mouth by the Holy Spirit. "God made Jesus who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of Godin him.Thereis now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set us free from the law of sin and of death."

The Spirit stirred within me. "Neither death, nor life."