Should one rise in reach of you, Oh, be prayerful!

Take your gaff and run him through, But be careful!

Hold him tight for all you're worth, Of marryin' men there's now a dearth, And then--there're widows still on earth!!

Curses on 'em!

If a widow steals a beau That you're landing, Practice up a knock-out blow-- Him demanding.

A perfect lady, though you've been, Just you cave her features in!

Killin' widows ain't no sin-- Never will be!

To My Valentine

_The Jumbler, with one eye on the calendar, tells the thoughts he thinks--claiming immunity the while._

Saint Valentine, that good old gink, Gives license free to say with ink The things you feel, the thoughts you think.

So timid youths, of courts afraid, Select this day to tell a maid Things otherwise best left unsaid.

This custom all the judges know, And breach-of-promise suits don't go-- So that's "how comes" what's writ below:

I love you, dear, to beat the Dutch!

I love you, dear, gosh-awful much!

Now could you love, obey--and such?

With love my heart seems 'bout to burst-- But I've now said all that I durst.

With love to all,--_John Safety First_.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

_The Jumbler again mounts_ PEGASUS, _and carries us through the Realm of Dreams, where we come in touch with the Life Romantic._

_The Jumbler recites:_

ALL MINE IN DREAMS.

SHOULD DREAMS COME TRUE.

LOTUS EATING.

All Mine in Dreams

_The Jumbler, thinking of "The Little House," also thinks of a little house-keeper._

O little girl with wondrous eyes And charms of Graces Three!

"How have you come, why have you come To mean so much to me?"

Unrest within my heart you've raised-- And yet, how sweet it seems!

My hopes, My dear, this much I know: You're mine, all mine, in dreams.

O little maid, dear, dearest maid, Should you be lost to me Were I to wake and straightway go And tell my love to thee?

What powers or aid could I invoke?

Alas! dear one, it seems The risk's too great of losing all-- So mine still stay in dreams.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Should Dreams Come True

_The Jumbler wakes up and credits himself with a big heart._

This man, O girl with charms untold, Has dreamed of Love and You; And can it be somewhere's a land Where these dreams may come true?

Ah, if there be, then willingly To rainbow's end he'll go, Or far's the place where seas begin-- For, Girl, he loves you so!

And he, dear one, a king can be-- Yes, by one way alone: That you, his Queen, through love for him, Should raise him to your throne.

But whether he be king or serf, Of this be sure: thou art A mighty queen, whose realm is wide-- You reign o'er all his heart.

Lotus Eating

In the land of In-a-minute, the land of Lots-of-time, The land of What's-the-hurry? Manna-land sublime; The land of Sleep-a-whole-lot,--to me it ofttimes seems I sure should like to live there, for I'd have time for DREAMS.

(_Here the Jumbler becomes personal_):

Now I'd not waste a minute if I lived in that clime, But say good-bye to worry, and dream--well all the time.

And what, dear, do you reckon my fancy'd bring to view?

The answer is so easy: Sweetheart, I'd dream of YOU.

Fergit Dem Dreams

_Leaving the Realm of Dreams, the Jumbler quotes the advice of a married friend._