Before he had crossed the threshold Pinocchio had sprung to his feet, flung him two kisses with the tips of his fingers, and began to dance like mad with happiness. His wooden leg made a horrible noise. Fatina, fearing Cutemup's anger, begged him to behave.

"What? What? If Cutemup scolds me, woe to him. Did you hear? The King is an old acquaintance of mine. If he gets offended with me, I'll take out my paper and pen and inkstand and I will write: 'Dear King, you are the best and kindest man in the world, but do me the favor to cut off the head, or some other organ, from the major who amputated my leg without permission. In this world an eye for an eye, a head for a leg.

Many kisses from your Pinocchio.'"

CHAPTER VII

_How Pinocchio Came Face to Face with Our Alpine Troops_

If you had come across him unexpectedly in his new costume I a.s.sure you you would not have recognized him. On his head was a woolen helmet from which emerged only his eyes and the point of his nose; on his back was a short coat of goatskin which swelled him out like a German stuffed with beer and sausage; his legs were lost in a pair of big boots with lots of nails. Around his waist was a huge belt of leather from which hung a number of small rope ends, and in his hand he carried a splendid stick with an iron point. Captain Teschisso was a gentleman and wanted his new orderly to be magnificently equipped.

That odd creature of a mountaineer amused himself thoroughly with the rascal Pinocchio. It didn't seem real to see him struggling to conquer the mountain peaks and ready to fight those dogs of Austrians who were up there and with whom he had so many accounts to settle.

They had arrived one morning at Fort ---- (censor). Teschisso had been greeted like one raised from the dead. Finally the soldiers had thrown their arms about his neck and kissed and hugged him. They all seemed like one family, and for a fact they did all resemble one another a little: tall, with extraordinary beards, with muscular legs straight as a column and hands that seemed made to give vigorous blows.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

"Where is my company?"

"On ---- [oh, that censor!], at nine thousand feet alt.i.tude."

"All well?"

"'Most all."

"And the Boches, where are they?"

"Bah! We've got them on the run."

"Send my things up to me with the first supply division; I'm off now at once."

"Nine feet of snow and a biting wind."

"Heavens! If I were sure of finding that dog who cut my beard I would go to h.e.l.l itself."

"I am thinking less of you than of your little orderly."

"Ha! That youngster has a wooden leg and is as hardy as a goat."

Pinocchio, to show off, whirled his leg around and with a shy glance convinced himself that in a wink of the eye he had won the respect of the little garrison.

"Listen, Captain, if you give me something to eat I'll go ahead; if you don't, here's where I stay."

"Indeed!"

"How indeed! Did you understand that I am hungry?"

"And I have nothing more to give you to eat."

"And I stop here."

"You'll get caught in a blizzard and buried in snow and will be frozen hard like Neapolitan ice-cream."

"But ... I'm hungry."

"You have eaten two rations of bread, a box of conserved beef, nearly half a pound of chocolate ..."

"Is it my fault if the air of these mountains makes me as hungry as a wolf? You should have told me before we left. Now I know why you are always saying that you would like to eat so many Austrians. But if you think I can get used to the same diet you are much mistaken."

"Are you coming or aren't you?"

"Is it much farther?"

"Do you see that cloud up there?"

"I defy any one not to see it."

"When that is pa.s.sed there is a crack in the mountain called s.p.a.ccata; we must cross that and we are there--at least if they haven't gone on ahead."

"In the clouds? Really in the clouds?"

"Certainly."

"Listen, Captain, do I really seem to you as much of a fool as that?"

"Just now, yes."

"Thanks, but you can go in the clouds by yourself; I'll turn back and bid you farewell."

He tried to make one of his usual pirouettes to turn around, but the snow slipped under his feet and he fell, sitting down, and, sliding on the white surface, was precipitated down the slope of the mountain with terrifying speed.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

"Help! Help!"

"Stick your staff in! Stick your staff in!" yelled Teschisso, who already believed him lost.

He had need to yell. Pinocchio was flying along like a little steamer under forced draught and couldn't hear anything, I a.s.sure you.

Suddenly he stopped as if he were nailed to the snow. That was to be expected, you say, with that air of superior beings you a.s.sume every now and then. I know--but I can tell you Pinocchio didn't expect it, nor even Teschisso, who was leaping down to help his little friend.

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Do you feel ill?"