'Tell me a little,' he urged.
She began to speak of her history, scarce knowing why, forgetting he was a stranger. Was it racial affinity, or was it merely the spiritual affinity of souls that feel their ident.i.ty through all differences of brain?
'What is the use?' she said. 'You with your childhood could never realise mine. My mother died when I was seven; my father was a Russian pauper alien who rarely got work. I had an elder brother of brilliant promise. He died before he was thirteen. I had a lot of brothers and sisters and a grandmother, and we all lived, half starved, in a garret.'
Her eyes grew humid at the recollection; she saw the s.p.a.cious drawing-room and the dainty _bric a brac_ through a mist.
'Poor child!' murmured Raphael.
'Strelitski, by the way, lived in our street then. He sold cigars on commission and earned an honest living; sometimes I used to think that is why he never cares to meet my eye, he remembers me and knows I remember him; at other times I thought he knew that I saw through his professions of orthodoxy. But as you champion him, I suppose I must look for a more creditable reason for his inability to look me straight in the face. Well, I grew up, I got on well at school, and about ten years ago I won a prize given by Mrs. Henry Goldsmith, whose kindly interest I excited thenceforward. At thirteen I became a teacher. This had always been my aspiration; when it was granted I was more unhappy than ever. I began to realise acutely that we were terribly poor. I found it difficult to dress so as to ensure the respect of my pupils and colleagues; the work was unspeakably hard and unpleasant; tiresome and hungry little girls had to be ground to suit the inspectors, and fell victims to the then prevalent compet.i.tion among teachers for a high percentage of pa.s.ses; I had to teach Scripture history, and I didn't believe in it. None of us believed in it--the talking serpent, the Egyptian miracles, Samson, Jonah and the whale, and all that. Everything about me was sordid and unlovely. I yearned for a fuller, wider life, for larger knowledge. I hungered for the sun. In short, I was intensely miserable. At home things went from bad to worse; often I was the sole bread-winner, and my few shillings a week were our only income. My brother Solomon grew up, but could not get into a decent situation, because he must not work on the Sabbath.
Oh, if you knew how young lives are cramped and shipwrecked at the start by this one curse of the Sabbath, you would not wish us to persevere in our isolation. It sent a mad thrill of indignation through me to find my father daily entreating the deaf heavens.'
He would not argue now. His eyes were moist.
'Go on,' he murmured.
'The rest is nothing. Mrs. Henry Goldsmith stepped in as the _dea ex machina_. She had no children, and she took it into her head to adopt me. Naturally I was dazzled, though anxious about my brothers and sisters. But my father looked upon it as a G.o.dsend. Without consulting me, Mrs. Goldsmith arranged that he and the other children should be shipped to America; she got him some work at a relative's in Chicago.
I suppose she was afraid of having the family permanently hanging about the Terrace. At first I was grieved; but when the pain of parting was over I found myself relieved to be rid of them, especially of my father. It sounds shocking, I know, but I can confess all my vanities now, for I have learnt all is vanity. I thought Paradise was opening before me; I was educated by the best masters, and graduated at the London University. I travelled and saw the Continent, had my fill of sunshine and beauty. I have had many happy moments, realised many childish ambitions, but happiness is as far away as ever. My old school colleagues envy me; yet I do not know whether I would not go back without regret.'
'Is there anything lacking in your life, then?' he asked gently.
'No; I happen to be a nasty, discontented little thing--that is all,'
she said, with a faint smile. 'Look on me as a psychological paradox, or a text for the preacher.'
'And do the Goldsmiths know of your discontent?'
'Heaven forbid! They have been so very kind to me. We get along very well together. I never discuss religion with them, only the services and the minister.'
'And your relatives?'
'Oh, they are all well and happy. Solomon has a store in Detroit. He is only nineteen, and dreadfully enterprising. Father is a pillar of a Chicago _Chevrah_. He still talks Yiddish. He has escaped learning American just as he escaped learning English. I buy him a queer old Hebrew book sometimes with my pocket-money, and he is happy. One little sister is a typewriter, and the other is just out of school and does the house-work. I suppose I shall go out and see them all some day.'
'What became of the grandmother you mentioned?'
'She had a charity funeral a year before the miracle happened. She was very weak and ill, and the charity doctor warned her that she must not fast on the day of Atonement. But she wouldn't even moisten her parched lips with a drop of cold water. And so she died, exhorting my father with her last breath to beware of Mrs. Simons (a good-hearted widow who was very kind to us) and to marry a pious Polish woman.'
'And did he?'
'No, I am still stepmotherless. Your white tie's gone wrong. It's all on one side.'
'It generally is,' said Raphael, fumbling perfunctorily at the little bow.
'Let me put it straight. There! And now you know all about me, I hope you are going to repay my confidences in kind.'
'I am afraid I cannot oblige with anything so romantic,' he said, smiling. 'I was born of rich but honest parents, of a family settled in England for three generations, and went to Harrow and Oxford in due course. That is all. I saw a little of the Ghetto, though, when I was a boy. I had some correspondence on Hebrew literature with a great Jewish scholar, Gabriel Hamburg (he lives in Stockholm now), and one day when I was up from Harrow I went to see him. By good fortune I a.s.sisted at the foundation of the Holy Land League, now presided over by Gideon, the Member for Whitechapel. I was moved to tears by the enthusiasm. It was there I made the acquaintance of Strelitski. He spoke as if inspired. I also met a poverty-stricken poet, Melchitzedek Pinchas, who afterwards sent me his work, _Metatoron's Flames_, to Harrow. A real neglected genius. Now, there's the man to bear in mind when one speaks of Jews and poetry! After that night I kept up a regular intercourse with the Ghetto, and have been there several times lately.'
'But surely you don't also long to return to Palestine?'
'I do. Why should we not have our own country?'
'It would be too chaotic. Fancy all the Ghettos of the world amalgamating! Everybody would want to be amba.s.sador at Paris, as the old joke says.'
'It would be a problem for the statesmen among us. Dissenters, Churchmen, atheists, slum-savages, clod-hoppers, philosophers, aristocrats, make up Protestant England. It is the popular ignorance of the fact that Jews are as diverse as Protestants that makes such novels as we were discussing at dinner harmful.'
'But is the author to blame for that? He does not claim to present the whole truth, but a facet. English society lionised Thackeray for his pictures of it. Good heavens! do Jews suppose they alone are free from the sn.o.bbery, hypocrisy and vulgarity that have shadowed every society that has ever existed?'
'In no work of art can the spectator be left out of account,' he urged. 'In a world full of smouldering prejudices a sc.r.a.p of paper may start the bonfire. English society can afford to laugh where Jewish society must weep. That is why our papers are always so effusively grateful for Christian compliments. You see, it is quite true that the author paints not the Jew, but bad Jews; but, in the absence of paintings of good Jews, bad Jews are taken as identical with Jews.'
'Oh, then you agree with the others about the book?' she said, in a disappointed tone.
'I haven't read it; I am speaking generally. Have you?'
'Yes.'
'And what do you think of it? I don't remember your expressing an opinion at table.'
She pondered an instant.
'I thought highly of it, and agreed with every word of it----'
She paused. He looked expectantly into the dark intense face; he saw it was charged with further speech.
'Till I met you,' she concluded abruptly.
A wave of emotion pa.s.sed over his face.
'You don't mean that?' he murmured.
'Yes, I do. You have shown me new lights.'
'I thought I was speaking plat.i.tudes,' he said simply. 'It would be nearer the truth to say you have given me new lights.'
The little face flushed with pleasure, the dark skin shining, the eyes sparkling. Esther looked quite pretty.
'How is that possible?' she said. 'You have read and thought twice as much as I.'
'Then you must be indeed poorly off,' he said, smiling. 'But I am really glad we met. I have been asked to edit a new Jewish paper, and our talk has made me see more clearly the lines on which it must be run if it is to do any good. I am awfully indebted to you.'
'A new Jewish paper?' she said, deeply interested. 'We have so many already. What is its _raison d'etre_?'
'To convert you,' he said, smiling, but with a ring of seriousness in the words.
'Isn't that like a steam-hammer cracking a nut, or Hoti burning down his house to roast a pig? And suppose I refuse to take in the new Jewish paper? Will it suspend publication?'
He laughed.
'What's this about a new Jewish paper?' said Mrs. Goldsmith, suddenly appearing in front of them with her large genial smile. 'Is that what you two have been plotting? I notice you've laid your heads together all the evening. Ah well, birds of a feather flock together. Do you know my little Esther took the scholarship for logic at London? I wanted her to proceed to the M.A. at once, but the doctor said she must have a rest.' She laid her hand affectionately on the girl's hair.
Esther looked embarra.s.sed.