50.

Her throat was itchy as if she had swallowed some dust. Ercella gloomily watched Harsen as he approached her. She wanted to know if he was angry, but there was no way she could know.

Ercella turned her head to the vibration which had transmitted through the bed. Harsen was sitting next to her. I wonder what hes thinking? Even if I try to find my mistake, there are too many to choose from. Eventually, Ercella had to speak up first.

Whats wrong?

Lets check your foot first.

Harsen leaned Ercella against the bed, delaying her answer. Her body was pushed back, so her legs stretched out over the edge.

He carefully dragged her bandaged left foot toward him.

Ercella sighed as she watched the bandage on her foot loosen, Im better now

She pursed her lips and looked down at the dorsum of her foot. Her blue eyes widened a little; instead of redness, there was a pale, purple bruise. I didnt know I sprained so badly. Looking back, I think I got this when I almost fell over by tripping over the threshold of the carriage.

But it doesnt really hurt.

However, it wasnt that it was painless, but that the sensation in her foot had long since dulled. Realizing that, Harsen also gently let go. The fact that she didnt even need to call upon the physician and only had a bruise, it meant that she was okay in general.

When her foot was released, Ercella sat down with her legs gathered to the side. And silence.

Whats the matter? Ercella carefully began recalling from the start. Then, for the first time, she doubted their reconciliation. Was what we did today really reconciliation? If not, then did our argument not end in reconciliation and he just moved on? Like he always does. Never saying a word about what happened.

I shouldve ended things.

I should have apologized; not only for using the phrase best choice, but also for that.

She remembered the harsh words that had poured out after getting carried away by her emotions. A deep sense of regret came over her. No matter how angry you are, you shouldnt say things like that recklessly Ercella hesitated as she kept on opening and closing her lips, before finally, gently parting them, About what happened yesterday I am sorry.

.

I dont knowwhy Isaid something like that? No matter how emotional I wasumI shouldnt have said that A-are you mad?

There was no answer despite her chain of words. Because of that, Ercellas eyes drooped down helplessly.

Well, if it were me, Id be mad. Using words like that I was harsh to you. You didnt say anything wrong. I just felt guilty on my own Then, I disappeared the next day, doing as I pleased

I made you suffer in the middle of the night. She couldnt dare to add this because of her already increasing guilt.

Im sorry. Ercella looked carefully at Harsen. Im really sorry.

Dropping her gaze on the bed, she repeated her apology. Yet, the silence remained; Ercella fiddled with her thick braid. At her fourth or fifth time avoiding eye contact with Harsen, she heard his voice mixed with a sigh. I also apologize.

.

Regardless of whether it was true or not, Im the one who said something hurtful to you.

.

Sorry.

On his last two syllables, Ercella slowly closed her eyes and opened them wide. She pondered over the words several times as she stared at Harsen with a dazed look. He was rubbing the back of his neck with his head tilted sideways, which made him seem strangely awkward. A smile spread over Ercellas face. No, Im more sorry.

She hugged Harsens neck and smiled. It was the first time they had ever exchanged an apology like this after they argued. Her chest was warm, and so was her heart. The hand that habitually wrapped around her back felt even better today. Elevated, Ersella spoke as she hugged Harsens neck tightly, Ill be really good to Vicente from now on. I know that doing this suddenly wont look good in your eyes, and I know how funny it seems for me to act like a mother now, but Ill be really, really nice to him. I will never say such things to you again. I was having a really hard time back then I know that cant excuse my actions. I shouldnt have directed my resentment towards that child I will always feel guilty towards him. But Harsen.

.

I dont want to stop like before. I dont want to suffer, and I dont want to rationalize doing nothing for Vicente. I dont want to regret it. I dont want to die without doing anything for Vicente. I want to fulfill everything that child wants, that poor child, I want to love him with all my heart this time. So, if Vicente is happy, if he doesnt think hes been abandoned by someone like me, Im satisfied with that. Its okay if he doesnt forgive me for the rest of my life. I dont want that. I just want to live my remaining days for him, paying for the many crimes I have committed against him.

Ercella unwrapped her arms and faced Harsen. She spoke earnestly to him, I love that child so much.

Her blue eyes gently curved and drew a lovely smile; like a flock of birds soaring through the sky, like a bud sprouting on barren land, like a spring breeze in the winter frost, like the setting of the night and the rising of the sun. He had already seen such a smile before.

A long time ago, it was a smile that she would often make. A strange smile that he thought he would become familiar with. Like a person who didnt know she could smile like that, Harsen was still unfamiliar with Ercellas smile.

The arm hugging her back slipped away. Without realising that, Harsen continued to stare at Ercella, and soon tilted his head to meet the gaze looking back at him.

Harsen? Ercella was puzzled as she called his name. Perhaps tired, Harsen swept a hand over his face several times. Worried, Ercella reached out. But before even reaching his skin, Harsen gently pushed her hand away. Its fine.

Ercella looked at her rejected hand, then took it to fiddle with her blonde hair. She felt awkward for no reason. She swept her hair a couple of times, and now small strands began to stick out from her braid.

She spoke as she slowly untied her braided blonde hair, Also, Ive been thinking; Im going to talk to the baroness tomorrow. I think I should start helping with the duchys internal affairs from now on.

She didnt know how Harsen was looking at her because she was focused on loosening her hair. She found it relieving in a way.

Of course it was my job, but I unintentionally passed it to the baroness. But Im still the lady of this house I dont think this is right.

The hand that was loosening her hair slowed down. It was because she did not have the confidence to look up at Harsen after unraveling all that.

Its been a while since Ive exercised my brain, so itll take a while to learn but Im still going to try. Well I could make mistakes, but wouldnt it be alright if I got help from the baroness? That is, if the baroness offers to help.

Ercella untied all the tangled strands, then brushed her hair with her fingers. When she tossed her long, now unbraided hair over her shoulder, her curly blonde hair covered her back. Harsen, who was staring at it, asked, Just a question about Vicente.

It was rare for Harsen to ask questions. Ercella was baffled because she practically knew nothing about Vicente.

What

Are you doing all this because of Her Majesty?

Unable to understand the reason behind the question, Ercella remembered Eshahilde.

My sisters funeral When was it?

When she calculated the date, it was almost the end of the previous year. Looking at the nuance in his question, it would be correct to assume that my sister had passed away.

Then perhaps Did he bring it up because he thinks the reason for my sudden attachment to Vicente is because hes something to replace my dead sister?

Ercella urgently denied it with a shocked voice, Its not like that!

Then?

He is our only child, she said without even realizing it.

But it was strange. When he heard her, Harsens expression subtly stiffened.

Ercella didnt understand what that meant. As usual, she thought about moving on without knowing the reason, but for some reason, she didnt want to this time.

Whatare you thinking?

For the first time, she brought out a question that she would usually keep in her mind. It was as if she was taking a step into the dark abyss. She couldnt see an inch ahead, but she kept going. The hem of her dress brushed against the shore, creating shallow waves.

Perhaps unfamiliar with the unusual waves forming inside her, his answer came a little late. The fact that you said that

.

Its a little strange. Harsen was having a hard time making eye contact with Ercella. And she was rather amazed at how awkward he was.

She once again realized how much Vicente meant to her. Come to think of it, hes Harsens and my childThats right

She curled her toes because she felt ticklish just thinking about it. Her blue eyes wandered aimlessly.

Pfft-

An awkward sound of wind escaped her closed lips. Ercella looked at Harsen. She stretched out her arms and gently caressed his cheeks. Their gaze intertwined again. Her toes, hidden behind the hem of her dress, wiggled uncontrollably.

I feel ticklish.

With her toes curled up, Ercella stuttered, Todayare you tired?

She felt a little shy.

No.

Well Her lips drooped slightly. Um I dont have plans for tomorrow.

Therefore? Harsen smirked.

Even if its a little hard and painful Im fine with it.

I see.

Ercella glared at him. It was annoying that he knew yet pretended not to.

Forget it.

She took her hands from his cheeks and was about to sneak into her blanket when Harsen held her by her waist. A conspicuous smile spread over Ercellas lips as his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. Ercella held his cheek with a smile and kissed him. Her body fell back as he tilted his head and kissed her deeper.

Her brilliant blonde hair spread over the bed. There was no time to feel his gentle touch on her back. Ercella looked at the man on top of her and swallowed her saliva; Harsen bent the corner of his lips, forming a crooked smile.

You cant back out now.

The front of the dress was pulled off.

* * *

The sound of chirping birds rang pleasantly, as if they were singing. Ercella lifted her upper body. No, she tried to lift it.

What

Her pupils trembled incessantly; she could not move. Why does it hurt so much? In fact, she was struck with pain more intense than ever before, to the extent that she suspected that she might have been beaten all night while sleeping.

Its been a while since we did it. Its been a little over a year since I got sick. However, isnt this body different from then? So why

It hurts

Tears welled up from the crushing pain and she crouched down. Her small body trembled. Ercella decided to call Lianne for now. As she crawled over her bedsheet and wiggled her body, the pain came rushing in. Feeling like she had become a caterpillar, she pulled the string as hard as she could.

Madam? Lianne, who came in after hearing the bell, was shocked to see her owner lying as if she was dead. Are you okay?

Avoiding her eyes, Ercella asked Lianne, Time What time is it?

I think its around 12 oclock.

What?! She asked back in surprise. Twelve oclock was lunchtime.

Why didnt you wake me up?

The Lord told me not to wake you up. Lianne, who unintentionally silenced Ercella, approached her. Maam, would you like to have lunch now? Ill inform the chef

Liannes eyes suddenly turned cold as she stared at the floor. Not knowing why, Ercella who had been looking at her saw her lips become slightly open and stiffened. Lianne calmly lifted the tossed dress off the floor with her index finger and thumb. A thin white dress fluttered before Liannes eyes.

This is It was a very shaky voice, unlike Lianne. That dress in Liannes hand was the dress that Ercella had borrowed from Lianne yesterday to avoid being noticed. The problem was

Ill buy you a new one.

It was all tattered.

Ill buy you something ten times more expensive, Ercella hurriedly added. She didnt feel bashful because Liannes cynical smile was more frightening. She looked bitter, fiddling with the torn front of the dress.

Ercella was embarrassed. Who knew she would be so adamant?

It was a birthday gift from Beth

Of all things, it was a birthday gift So unlucky.

Im very sorry. Ill get you the same one

No, maam. Buy me something ten times more expensive.

Lianne smiled and folded the dress.

Okay. Ercella felt a shiver go down her spine. She didnt know that a day would come when she would appreciate Liannes snobbish nature. Suddenly, she felt Liannes gaze on her.

Why, what? Ercella inadvertently covered herself with a blanket up to half her face, as if protecting herself. Lianne shook her head amusedly and shrugged her shoulders.

I meant, Ill bring you an indoor dress.

O-okay

Lianne came out of the room without looking at Ercella. As soon as the bedroom door creaked and closed, Lianne covered her mouth with one hand.

Wow

She had to try hard to suppress her amazement at the sight that just unfolded before her.

Theres no woman who wouldnt be plucked.

Id like to thank the Lord, my parents, my non-existent laptop, my inflamed tailbone, and finally Lanella for not making me go through another sex scene.

And hey! We finally hit the 50th mark! This volume was so difficult to translate because of various reasons Still four more chapters to go *sigh*

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