The Collected Joe Abercrombie - The Collected Joe Abercrombie Part 237
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The Collected Joe Abercrombie Part 237

'Aye, I suppose.'

'So how can Black Dow be for everyone?'

'Well ...' Agrick squirmed about a bit. 'I don't know. I guess, just ...' He squinted down into the valley as Wonderful walked up behind them. 'Why are we here, then?'

She clipped him across the back of the head and made him grunt. 'Sit on the Heroes, watch for the Union. Scouting, like always, idiot. Damn fool bloody question.'

Agrick shook his head at the injustice of it all. 'That's it. I'm never talking again.'

'You promise?' asked Wonderful.

'Why are we bloody here ...' Agrick muttered to himself as he walked off to watch Yon and Athroc training, rubbing the back of his head.

'I know why I'm here.' Whirrun had slowly raised one long forefinger, stalk of grass between his teeth thrashing around as he spoke. Craw had thought he was asleep, sprawled out on his back with the hilt of his sword for a pillow. But then Whirrun always looked asleep, and he never was. 'Because Shoglig told me a man with a bone caught in his throat would-'

'Lead you to your destiny.' Wonderful planted her hands on her hips. 'Aye, we've heard it before.'

Craw puffed out his cheeks. 'Like the care of eight lives weren't a heavy enough burden, I need a madman's destiny to weigh me down.'

Whirrun sat up and pushed his hood back. 'I object to that, I'm not mad in the least. I just ... got my own way of seeing things.'

'A mad way,' muttered Wonderful under her breath as Whirrun stood, slapped the arse of his stained trousers and dragged his sheathed sword up and over his shoulder.

He frowned, shifted from one leg to the other, then rubbed at his fruits. 'I'm needing a wee, though. Would you go in the river, or up against one o' these stones, do you reckon?'

Craw thought about it. 'River. Up against the stones would seem ... disrespectful.'

'You think there are Gods watching?'

'How do you tell?'

'True.' Whirrun chewed his grass stalk across to the other side of his mouth and started off down the hill. 'River it is, then. Maybe I'll give Brack a hand with the fishing. Shoglig used to be able to just talk the fish out of the water and I've never quite been able to get the trick of it.'

'You could hack 'em out with that tree-cutter of yours!' Wonderful shouted after him.

'Maybe I will!' He lifted the Father of Swords high over his head, not much shorter'n a man from pommel to point. 'High time I killed something!'

Craw wouldn't have complained if he held off for a spell. Leaving the valley with nothing dead was the sum of his hopes, right then. Which was an odd ambition for a soldier, when you thought about it. Him and Wonderful stood there silent for a while, side by side. Behind them steel squealed as Yon brushed Athroc away and sent him stumbling. 'Put some effort in, you limp-wristed fuck!'

Craw found himself coming over nostalgic, like he did more and more these days. 'Colwen loved the sunshine.'

'That so?' asked Wonderful, lifting one brow at him.

'Always mocked at me about sticking to the shade.'

'That so?'

'I should've married her,' he muttered.

'Aye, you should've. Why didn't you?'

'You told me not to, apart from aught else.'

'True. She had a sharp old tongue on her. But you don't usually have trouble ignoring me.'

'Fair point. Guess I was just too coward to ask.' And he couldn't wait to leave. Win a big name with high deeds. He hardly even knew the man who'd thought that way. 'Didn't really know what I wanted back then, just thought I didn't have it, and I could get it with a sword.'

'Think about her, at all?' asked Wonderful.

'Not often.'

'Liar.'

Craw grinned. She knew him too bloody well. 'Call it half a lie. I don't think about her, really. Can't hardly remember her face half the time. But I think about what my life might've been, if I'd taken that path 'stead o' this.' Sitting with his pipe, under his porch, smiling at the sunset on the water. He gave a sigh. 'But, you know, choices made, eh? What about your husband?'

Wonderful took a long breath. 'Probably he's getting ready to bring the harvest in about now. The children too.'

'Wish you were with 'em?'

'Sometimes.'

'Liar. How often you been back this year? Twice, is it?'

Wonderful frowned down into the still valley. 'I go when I can. They know that. They know what I am.'

'And they still put up with you?'

She was silent a moment, then shrugged. 'Choices made, eh?'

'Chief!' Agrick was hurrying over from the other side of the Heroes. 'Drofd's back! And he ain't alone.'

'No?' Craw winced as he worked some movement into his dodgy knee. 'Who's he got with him?'

Agrick had a face like a man sat on a thistle. 'Looked like Caul Shivers.'

'Shivers?' growled Yon, head snapping sideways. Athroc seized his moment, stepped around Yon's drooping shield and kneed him in the fruits. 'Awwww, you little bastard ...' And Yon went down, eyes bulging.

Craw might've laughed half his teeth out any other time, but Shivers' name had chased the fun right out of him. He strode across the circle of grass, hoping all the way Agrick might've got it wrong but knowing it wasn't likely. Craw's hopes had a habit of coming out bloodstained, and Caul Shivers was a difficult man to mistake.

Up he came towards the Heroes now, riding up that steep track on the north side of the hill. Craw watched him all the way, feeling like a shepherd watching a storm-cloud blow in.

'Shit,' muttered Wonderful.

'Aye,' said Craw. 'Shit.'

Shivers left Drofd to hobble their horses down at the drystone wall and came the rest of the way on foot. He looked at Craw, and Wonderful, and Jolly Yon too, half-ruined face slack as a hanged man's, the left side not much more'n a great line of burn through that metal eye. A spookier-looking bastard you never did see.

'Craw.' Said in his whispery croak.

'Shivers. What brings you down here?'

'Dow sent me.'

'That much I guessed. It's the why I'm after.'

'He says you're to keep hold o' this hill and watch for the Union.'

'He told me that already.' Bit more snappish than Craw had meant. There was a pause. 'So why send you here?'

Shivers shrugged. 'To make sure you do it.'

'Many thanks for the support.'

'Thank Dow.'

'I will.'

'He'll like that. Have you seen the Union?'

'Not since Hardbread was up here, four nights ago.'

'I know Hardbread. Stubborn old prick. He might come back.'

'If he does there's only three ways across the river, far as I know.' Craw pointed 'em out. 'The Old Bridge over west near the bogs, the new bridge in Osrung and the shallows at the bottom of the hill there. We got eyes on all of 'em, and the valley's open. We could see a sheep cross the river from here.'

'Don't reckon we need to tell Black Dow about a sheep.' Shivers brought the ruined side of his face close. 'But we better if the Union come. Maybe we can sing some songs, while we wait?'

'Can you carry a tune?' asked Wonderful.

'Shit, no. Don't stop me trying, though.' And he strolled off across the circle of grass, Athroc and Agrick backing away to give him room. Craw couldn't blame 'em. Shivers was one of those men seemed to have a space around him where you'd better not be.

Craw turned slowly to Drofd. 'Great.'

The lad held his hands up. 'What was I supposed to do? Tell him I didn't want the company? Least you didn't have to spend two days riding with him, and two nights sleeping next to him at the fire. He never closes that eye, you know. It's like he's looking at you all night long. I swear I haven't slept a wink since we set out.'

'He can't see out of it, fool,' said Yon, 'any more'n I can see out your belt buckle.'

'I know that, but still.' Drofd looked around at them all, voice dropping. 'Do you really reckon the Union are coming this way?'

'No,' said Wonderful. 'I don't.' She gave Drofd one of her looks, and his shoulders slumped, and he walked away muttering to himself on the theme of what else he could've done. Then she came up beside Craw, and leaned close. 'Do you really reckon the Union are coming this way?'

'Doubt it. But I've got a bad feeling.' He frowned across at Shivers' black outline, leaning against one of the Heroes, the valley drenched in sunlight beyond, and he put one hand on his stomach. 'And I've learned to listen to my gut.'

Wonderful snorted. 'Hard to ignore something so bloody big, I guess.'

Old Hands 'Tunny.'

'Uh?' He opened one eye and the sun stabbed him directly in the brains. 'Uh!' He snapped it shut again, wormed his tongue around his sore mouth. It tasted like slow death and old rot. 'Uh.' He tried his other eye, just a crack, trained it on the dark shape hovering above him. It loomed closer, sun making glittering daggers down its edges.

'Tunny!'

'I hear you, damn it!' He tried to sit and the world tossed like a ship in a storm. 'Gah!' He became aware he was in a hammock. He tried to rip his feet clear, got them tangled in the netting, almost tipped himself over in his efforts to get free, somehow ended up somewhere near sitting, swallowing the overwhelming urge to vomit. 'First Sergeant Forest. What a delight. What time is it?'

'Past time you were working. Where did you get those boots?'

Tunny peered down, puzzled. He was wearing a pair of superbly polished black cavalry boots with gilded accoutrements. The reflection of the sun in the toes was so bright it was painful to look at. 'Ah.' He grinned through the agony, some of the details of last night starting to leak from the shadowy crannies of his mind. 'Won 'em ... from an officer ... called ...' He squinted up into the branches of the tree his hammock was tied to. 'No. It's gone.'

Forest shook his head in amazement. 'There's still someone in the division stupid enough to play cards with you?'

'Well, this is one of the many fine things about wartime, Sergeant. Lots of folks leaving the division.' Their regiment had left two score in sick tents over the last couple of weeks alone. 'That means lots of new card-players arriving, don't it?'

'Yes it does, Tunny, yes it does.' Forest had that mocking little grin on his scarred face.

'Oh no,' said Tunny.

'Oh yes.'

'No, no, no!'

'Yes. Up you come, lads!'

And up they came indeed. Four of them. New recruits, fresh off the boat from Midderland by their looks. Seen off at the docks with kisses from Mummy or sweetheart or both. New uniforms pressed, straps polished, buckles gleaming and ready for the noble soldiering life, indeed. Forest gestured towards Tunny like a showman towards his freak, and trotted out that same little address he always gave.

'Boys, this here is the famous Corporal Tunny, one of the longest serving non-commissioned officers in General Jalenhorm's division. A veteran of the Starikland Rebellion, the Gurkish War, the last Northern War, the Siege of Adua, this current unpleasantness and a quantity of peacetime soldiering that would have bored a keener mind to death. He has survived the runs, the rot, the grip, the autumn shudders, the caresses of Northern winds, the buffets of Southern women, thousands of miles of marching, many years of his Majesty's rations and even a tiny bit of actual fighting to stand or sit before you now. He has four times been Sergeant Tunny, once even Colour Sergeant Tunny, but always, like a homing pigeon to its humble cage, returned to his current station. He now holds the exalted post of standard-bearer of his August Majesty's indomitable First Regiment of cavalry. That gives him responsibility-' Tunny groaned at the mere mention of the word '-for the regimental riders, tasked with carrying messages to and from our much admired commanding officer, Colonel Vallimir. Which is where you boys come in.'

'Oh, bloody hell, Forest.'

'Oh, bloody hell, Tunny. Why don't you introduce yourselves to the corporal?'

'Klige.' Chubby-faced, with a big sty that had closed one eye and his strapping on the wrong way round.

'Previous profession, Klige?' asked Forest.

'Was going to be a weaver, sir. But I hadn't been 'prenticed more than a month before my master sold me out to the recruiter.'

Tunny gave a further grimace. The replacements they were getting lately were an insult to the bottom of the barrel.

'Worth.' The next was gaunt and bony with an ill-looking grey sheen to his skin. 'I was in the militia and they disbanded the company, so we all got drafted.'

'Lederlingen.' A tall, rangy specimen with big hands and a worried look. 'I was a cobbler.' He offered no further detail on the mechanics of his entry into the King's Own and Tunny's head was hurting too much for him to pry. The man was here now, unfortunately for everyone involved.

'Yolk.' A short lad with a lot of freckles, dwarfed by his pack. He glanced guiltily about. 'They called me a thief but I never done it. Judge said it was this or five year in prison.'

'I rather think we may all come to regret that choice,' grunted Tunny, though probably as a thief he was the only one with transferrable skills. 'Why's your name Yolk?'

'Er ... don't know. Was my father's name ... I guess.'

'Think you're the best part of the egg, do you, Yolk?'