The Collected Joe Abercrombie - The Collected Joe Abercrombie Part 197
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The Collected Joe Abercrombie Part 197

'Murcatto, she calls herself. Monzcarro Murcatto.' Monza slowly shook her head. Not because she blamed him for saying her name. Just because she knew the truth couldn't help.

'What do you know? The Butcher of Caprile herself in my little cell! Murcatto's dead, idiot, months ago, and I'm getting bored. You'd think none of us would ever die, the way you're wasting our time.'

'You reckon they're very stupid,' asked Pello, 'or very brave?'

'What's the difference?'

'You want to hold him?'

'You mind doing it?' Langrier winced as she worked one elbow around. 'Damn shoulder's aching today. Wet weather always gets it going.'

'You and your bloody shoulder.' Metal rattled as Pello let a stride of chain out through the pulley above and Shivers' hands dropped down around his head. Any relief he felt was short lived, though. Pello came up behind and kicked him in the back of his legs, sent him lurching onto his knees, arms stretched out again, kept him there by planting one boot on the back of his calves.

'Look!' It was cold but Shivers' face was all beaded up with sweat. 'We're not with Orso! I don't know nothing about his army. I just . . . I just don't know!'

'It's the truth,' Monza croaked, but so quiet no one could hear her. Even that started her coughing, each heave stabbing through her battered ribs.

Pello slid one arm around Shivers' head, elbow under his jaw, his other hand firm behind, tilting his face back.

'No!' squawked Shivers, the one bulging eye Monza could see rolling towards her. 'It was her! Murcatto! She hired me! To kill seven men! Vengeance, for her brother! And . . . and-'

'You've got him?' asked Langrier.

'I've got him.'

Shivers' voice rose higher. 'It was her! She wants to kill Duke Orso!' He was trembling now, teeth chattering together. 'We did Gobba, and a banker! A banker . . . called Mauthis! Poisoned him, and then . . . and then . . . Prince Ario, in Sipani! At Cardotti's! And now-'

Langrier stuck a battered wooden dowel between his jaws, putting a quick end to his wasted confession. 'Wouldn't want you to chew your tongue off. Still need you to tell me something worth hearing.'

'I've got money!' croaked Monza, her voice starting to come back.

'What?'

'I've got money! Gold! Boxes full of it! Not with me, but . . . Hermon's gold! Just-'

Langrier chuckled. 'You'd be amazed how everyone remembers buried treasure at a time like this. Doesn't often work out.'

Pello grinned. 'If I had just a tenth of what I've been promised in this room I'd be a rich man. I'm not, in case you're wondering.'

'But if you did have boxes full of gold, where the hell would I spend it now? You came a few weeks too late to bribe us. The Talinese are all around the city. Money's no use here.' Langrier rubbed at her shoulder, winced, worked her arm in a circle, then dragged an iron from the brazier. It squealed out with the sound of metal on metal, sent up a drifting shower of orange sparks and a sick twist of fear through Monza's churning guts.

'It's true,' she whispered. 'It's true.' But all the strength had gone out of her.

''Course it is.' And Langrier stepped forwards and pressed the yellow-hot metal into Shivers' face. It made a sound like a slice of bacon dropped into a pan, but louder, and with his mindless, blubbering screech on top of it, of course. His back arched, his body thrashed and trembled like a fish on a line, but Pello kept his grip on him, grim-faced.

Greasy steam shot up, a little gout of flame that Langrier blew out with a practised puff of air through pursed lips, grinding the iron one way then the other, into his eye. While she did it, she had the same look she might have had wiping a table. A tedious, distasteful chore that had fallen to her and unfortunately had to be done.

The sizzling grew quieter. Shivers' scream had become a moaning hiss, the last air in his lungs being dragged out of him, spit spraying from his stretched-back lips, frothing from the wood between his bared teeth. Langrier stepped away. The iron had cooled to dark orange, smeared down one side with smoking black ash. She tossed it clattering back into the coals with some distaste.

Pello let go and Shivers' head dropped forwards, breath bubbling in his throat. Monza didn't know if he was awake or not, aware or not. She prayed not. The room smelled of charred meat. She couldn't look at his face. Couldn't look. Had to look. A glimpse of a great blackened stripe across his cheek and through his eye, raw-meat-red around it, bubbled and blistered, shining oily with fat cooked from his face. She jerked her eyes back to the floor, wide open, the air crawling in her throat, all her skin as clammy-cold as a corpse dragged from a river.

'There we go. Aren't we all better off for that, now? All so you could keep your secrets for a few minutes longer? What you won't tell us, we'll just get out of that little yellow-haired bitch later.' She waved a hand in front of her face. 'Damn, that stinks. Drop her down, Pello.'

The chains rattled and she went down. Couldn't stand, even. Too scared, too hurting. Her knees grazed the stone. Shivers' breath crackled. Langrier rubbed at her shoulder. Pello clicked his tongue softly as he made the chains fast. Monza felt the sole of his boot dig into the backs of her calves.

'Please,' she whispered, whole body shivering, teeth rattling. Monzcarro Murcatto, the dreaded Butcher of Caprile, the fearsome Serpent of Talins, that monster who'd washed herself in the Years of Blood, all that was a distant memory. 'Please.'

'You think we enjoy doing this? You think we wouldn't rather get on with people? I'm well liked mostly, aren't I, Pello?'

'Mostly.'

'For pity's sake, give me something I can use. Just tell me . . .' Langrier closed her eyes and rubbed at them with the back of her wrist. 'Just tell me who you get your orders from, at least. Let's just start with that.'

'Alright, alright!' Monza's eyes were stinging. 'I'll talk!' She could feel tears running down her face. 'I'm talking!' She wasn't sure what she was saying. 'Ganmark! Orso! Talins!' Gibberish. Nothing. Anything. 'I . . . I work for Ganmark!' Anything to keep the irons in the brazier for a few more moments. 'I take my orders from him!'

'From him directly?' Langrier frowned over at Pello, and he took a break from picking at the dry skin on one palm to frown back. 'Of course you do, and his Excellency Grand Duke Salier is constantly down here checking how we're getting along. Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?' She cuffed Monza across the face, one way and back the other, turned her mouth bloody and set her skin burning, made the room jerk and sway. 'You're making this up as you go along!'

Monza tried to shake the mud out of her head. 'Wha' d'you wan' me to tell you?' Words all mangled in her swollen mouth.

'Something that fucking helps me!'

Monza's bloody lip moved up and down, but nothing came out except a string of red drool. Lies were useless. The truth was useless. Pello's arm snaked around her head from behind, tight as a noose, dragged her face back towards the ceiling.

'No!' she squawked. 'No! N-' The piece of wood was wedged into her mouth, wet with Shivers' spit.

Langrier loomed into Monza's blurry vision, shaking one arm out. 'My damn shoulder! I swear I'm in more pain than anyone, but no one has mercy on me, do they?' She dragged a fresh iron clear of the coals, held it up, yellow-white, casting a faint glow across her face, making the beads of sweat on her forehead glisten. 'Is there anything more boring than other people's pain?'

She raised the iron, Monza's weeping eye jammed wide open and fixed on its white tip as it loomed towards her, fizzing ever so softly. The breath wheezed and shuddered in her throat. She could almost feel the heat from it on her cheek, almost feel the pain already. Langrier leaned forwards.

'Stop.' Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a blurry figure in the doorway. She blinked, eyelids fluttering. A great fat man, standing at the top of the steps in a white dressing gown.

'Your Excellency!' Langrier shoved the iron back into the brazier as though it was her it was burning. The grip round Monza's neck was suddenly released, Pello's boot came off the back of her calves.

Grand Duke Salier's eyes shifted slowly in his great expanse of pale face, from Monza, to Shivers, and back to Monza. 'Are these they?'

'Indeed they are.' Nicomo Cosca peered over the duke's shoulder and down into the room. Monza couldn't remember ever in her life being so glad to see someone. The old mercenary winced. 'Too late for the Northman's eye.'

'Early enough for his life, at least. But whatever have you done to her skin, Captain Langrier?'

'The scars she had already, your Excellency.'

'Truly? Quite the collection.' Salier slowly shook his head. 'A most regrettable case of mistaken identity. For the time being, these two people are my honoured guests. Some clothes for them, and do what you can for his wound.'

'Of course.' She snatched the dowel out of Monza's mouth and bowed her head. 'I deeply regret my mistake, your Excellency.'

'Quite understandable. This is war. People get burned.' The duke gave a long sigh. 'General Murcatto, I hope you will accept a bed in my palace, and join us for breakfast in the morning?'

The chains rattled free and her limp hands fell down into her lap. She thought she managed to gasp out a 'yes' before she started sobbing so hard she couldn't speak, tears running free down her face.

Terror, and pain, and immeasurable relief.

The Connoisseur Anyone would have supposed it was an ordinary morning of peace and plenty in Duke Salier's expansive dining chamber, a room in which his Excellency no doubt spent much of his time. Four musicians struck up sweet music in a far-distant corner, all smiling radiantly, as though serenading the doomed in a palace surrounded by enemies was all they had ever wished for. The long table was stacked high with delicacies: fish and shellfish, breads and pastries, fruits and cheeses, sweets, meats and sweetmeats, all arranged as neatly on their gilded plates as medals on a general's chest. Too much food for twenty, and there were but three to dine, and two of those not hungry.

Monza did not look well. Both of her lips were split, her face was ashen in the centre, swollen and bruised shiny pink on both sides, the white of one eye red with bloodshot patches, fingers trembling. Cosca felt raw to look at her, but he supposed it might have been worse. Small help to their Northern friend. He could have sworn he could hear the groans through the walls all night long.

He reached out with his fork, ready to spear a sausage, well-cooked meat striped black from the grill. An image of Shivers' well-cooked, black-striped face drifted through his mind, and he cleared his throat and caught himself instead a hard-boiled egg. It was only when it was halfway to his plate that he noticed its similarity to an eyeball. He shook it hastily off his fork and into its dish with a rumbling of nausea, and contented himself with tea, silently pretending it was heavily laced with brandy.

Duke Salier was busy reminiscing on past glories, as men are prone to do when their glories are far behind them. One of Cosca's own favourite pastimes, and, if it was even a fraction as boring when he did it, he resolved to give it up. '. . . Ah, but the banquets I have held in this very room! The great men and women who have enjoyed my hospitality at this table! Rogont, Cantain, Sotorius, Orso himself, for that matter. I never trusted that weasel-faced liar, even back then.'

'The courtly dance of Styrian power,' said Cosca. 'Partners never stay together long.'

'Such is politics.' The roll of fat around Salier's jaw shifted softly as he shrugged. 'Ebb and flow. Yesterday's hero, tomorrow's villain. Yesterday's victory . . .' He frowned at his empty plate. 'I fear the two of you will be my last guests of note and, if you will forgive me, you both have seen more notable days. Still! One takes the guests one has, and makes the merry best of it!' Cosca gave a weary grin. Monza did not stretch herself even that far. 'No mood for levity? Anyone would think my city was on fire by your long faces! We will do no more good at the breakfast table, anyway. I swear I've eaten twice what the two of you have combined.' Cosca reflected that the duke undoubtedly weighed more than twice what the two of them did combined. Salier reached for a glass of white liquid and raised it to his lips.

'Whatever are you drinking?'

'Goat's milk. Somewhat sour, but wondrous for the digestion. Come, friends and enemies, of course, for there is nothing more valuable to a powerful man than a good enemy take a turn with me.' He struggled from his chair with much grunting, tossed his glass away and led them briskly across the tiled floor, one plump hand waving in time to the music. 'How is your companion, the Northman?'

'Still in very great pain,' murmured Monza, looking in some herself.

'Yes . . . well . . . a terrible business. Such is war, such is war. Captain Langrier tells me there were seven of you. The blonde woman with the child's face is with us, and your man, the quiet one who brought the Talinese uniforms and has apparently been counting every item in my larder since the crack of dawn this morning. One does not need his uncanny facility with numbers to note that two of your band are still . . . at large.'

'Our poisoner and our torturer,' said Cosca. 'A shame, it's so hard to find good ones.'

'Fine company you keep.'

'Hard jobs mean hard company. They'll be out of Visserine by now, I daresay.' They would be halfway to being out of Styria by now, if they had any sense, and Cosca was far from blaming them.

'Abandoned, eh?' Salier gave a grunt. 'I know the feeling. My allies have abandoned me, my soldiers, my people. I am distraught. My sole remaining comfort is my paintings.' One fat finger pointed to a deep archway, heavy doors standing open and bright sunlight spilling through.

Cosca's trained eye noted a deep groove in the stonework, metal points gleaming in a wide slot in the ceiling. A portcullis, unless he was much mistaken. 'Your collection is well protected.'

'Naturally. It is the most valuable in Styria, long years in the making. My great-grandfather began it.' Salier ushered them into a long hallway, a strip of gold-embroidered carpet beckoning them down the centre, many-coloured marble gleaming in the light from huge windows. Vast and brooding oils crowded the opposite wall in long procession, gilt frames glittering.

'This hall is given over to the Midderland masters, of course,' Salier observed. There was a snarling portrait of bald Zoller, a series of Kings of the Union Harod, Arnault, Casimir, and more. One might have thought they all shat molten gold, they looked so smug. Salier paused a moment before a monumental canvas of the death of Juvens. A tiny, bleeding figure lost in an immensity of forest, lightning flaring across a lowering sky. 'Such brushwork. Such colouring, eh, Cosca?'

'Astounding.' Though one daub looked much like another to his eye.

'The happy days I have spent in profound contemplation of these works. Seeking the hidden meanings in the minds of the masters.' Cosca raised his brows at Monza. More time in profound contemplation of the campaign map and less on dead painters and perhaps Styria would not have found itself in the current fix.

'Sculptures from the Old Empire,' murmured the duke as they passed through a wide doorway and into a second airy gallery, lined on both sides with ancient statues. 'You would not believe the cost of shipping them from Calcis.' Heroes, emperors, gods. Their missing noses, missing arms, scarred and pitted bodies gave them a look of wounded surprise. The forgotten winners of ten centuries ago, reduced to confused amputees. Where am I? And for pity's sake, where are my arms?

'I have been wondering what to do,' said Salier suddenly, 'and would value your opinion, General Murcatto. You are renowned across Styria and beyond for your ruthlessness, single-mindedness and commitment. Decisiveness has never been my greatest talent. I am too prone to think on what is lost by a certain course of action. To look with longing at all those doors that will be closed, rather than the possibilities presented by the one that I must open.'

'A weakness in a soldier,' said Monza.

'I know it. I am a weak man, perhaps, and a poor soldier. I have relied on good intentions, fair words and righteous causes, and it seems I and my people now will pay for it.' Or for that and his avarice, betrayals and endless warmongering, at least. Salier examined a sculpture of a muscular boat-man. Death poling souls to hell, perhaps. 'I could flee the city, by small boat in the hours of darkness. Down the river and away, to throw myself upon the mercy of my ally Grand Duke Rogont.'

'A brief sanctuary,' grunted Monza. 'Rogont will be next.'

'True. And a man of my considerable dimensions, fleeing? Terribly undignified. Perhaps I could surrender myself to your good friend General Ganmark?'

'You know what would follow.'

Salier's soft face turned suddenly hard. 'Perhaps Ganmark is not so utterly bereft of mercy as some of Orso's other dogs have been?' Then he seemed to sink back down, face settling into the roll of fat under his chin. 'But I daresay you are right.' He peered significantly sideways at a statue that had lost its head some time during the last few centuries. 'My fat head on a spike would be the best that I could hope for. Just like good Duke Cantain and his sons, eh, General Murcatto?'

She looked evenly back at him. 'Just like Cantain and his sons.' Heads on spikes, Cosca reflected, were still as fashionable as ever.

Around a corner and into another hall, still longer than the first, walls crowded with canvases. Salier clapped his hands. 'Here hang the Styrians! Greatest of our countrymen! Long after we are dead and forgotten, their legacy will endure.' He paused before a scene of a bustling marketplace. 'Perhaps I could bargain with Orso? Curry favour by delivering to him a mortal enemy? The woman who murdered his eldest son and heir, perhaps?'

Monza did not flinch. She never had been the flinching kind. 'The best of luck.'

'Bah. Luck has deserted Visserine. Orso would never negotiate, even if I could give him back his son alive, and you have put well and truly paid to that possibility. We are left with suicide.' He gestured at a huge, dark-framed effort, a half-naked soldier offering his sword to his defeated general. Presumably so they could make the last sacrifice that honour demanded. That was where honour got a man. 'To plunge the mighty blade into my bared breast, as did the fallen heroes of yesteryear!'

The next canvas featured a smirking wine merchant leaning on a barrel and holding a glass up to the light. Oh, a drink, a drink, a drink. 'Or poison? Deadly powders in the wine? Scorpion in the bedsheets? Asp down one's undergarments?' Salier grinned round at them. 'No? Hang myself? I understand men often spend, when they are hanged.' And he flapped his hands away from his groin in demonstration, as though they had been in any doubt as to his meaning. 'Sounds like more fun than poison, anyway.' The duke sighed and stared glumly at a painting of a woman surprised while bathing. 'Let us not pretend I have the courage for such exploits. Suicide, that is, not spending. That I still manage once a day, in spite of my size. Do you still manage it, Cosca?'

'Like a fucking fountain,' he drawled, not to be outdone in vulgarity.

'But what to do?' mused Salier. 'What to-'

Monza stepped in front of him. 'Help me kill Ganmark.' Cosca felt his brows go up. Even beaten, bruised and with the enemy at the gates, she could not wait to draw the knives again. Ruthlessness, single-mindedness and commitment indeed.

'And why ever would I wish to do that?'

'Because he'll be coming for your collection.' She had always had a knack for tickling people where they were most ticklish. Cosca had seen her do it often. To him, among others. 'Coming to box up all your paintings, and your sculptures, and your jars, and ship them back to Fontezarmo to adorn Orso's latrines.' A nice touch, his latrines. 'Ganmark is a connoisseur, like yourself.'

'That Union cocksucker is nothing like me!' Anger suddenly flared red across the back of Salier's neck. 'A common thief and braggart, a degenerate man-fucker, tramping blood across the sweet soil of Styria as though its mud were not fit for his boots! He can have my life, but he'll never have my paintings! I will see to it!'

'I can see to it,' hissed Monza, stepping closer to the duke. 'He'll come here, when the city falls. He'll rush here, keen to secure your collection. We can be waiting, dressed as his soldiers. When he enters,' she snapped her fingers, 'we drop your portcullis, and we have him! You have him! Help me.'

But the moment had passed. Salier's veneer of heavy-lidded carelessness had descended again. 'These are my two favourites, I do believe,' gesturing, all nonchalance, towards two matching canvases. 'Parteo Gavra's studies of the woman. They were intended always as a pair. His mother, and his favourite whore.'

'Mothers and whores,' sneered Monza. 'A curse on fucking artists. We were talking of Ganmark. Help me!'

Salier blew out a tired sigh. 'Ah, Monzcarro, Monzcarro. If only you had sought my help five seasons ago, before Sweet Pines. Before Caprile. Even last spring, before you spiked Cantain's head above his gate. Even then, the good we could have done, the blows we could have struck together for freedom. Even-'

'Forgive me if I'm blunt, your Excellency, but I spent the night being beaten like a sack of meat.' Monza's voice cracked slightly on the last word. 'You ask for my opinion. You've lost because you're too weak, too soft and too slow, not because you're too good. You fought alongside Orso happily enough when you shared the same goals, and smiled happily enough at his methods, as long as they brought you more land. Your men spread fire, rape and murder when it suited you. No love of freedom then. The only open hand the farmers of Puranti had from you back in those days was the one that crushed them flat. Play the martyr if you must, Salier, but not with me. I feel sick enough already.'

Cosca felt himself wincing. There was such a thing as too much truth, especially in the ears of powerful men.

The duke's eyes narrowed. 'Blunt, you say? If you spoke to Orso in such a manner it is small wonder he threw you down a mountain. I almost wish I had a long drop handy. Tell me, since candour seems the fashion, what did you do to anger Orso so? I thought he loved you like a daughter? Far more than his own children, not that any of those three ever were so very lovable fox, shrew and mouse.'

Her bruised cheek twitched. 'I became too popular with his people.'

'Yes. And?'

'He was afraid I might steal his throne.'

'Indeed? And I suppose your eyes were never turned upon it?'