The Collected Joe Abercrombie - The Collected Joe Abercrombie Part 111
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The Collected Joe Abercrombie Part 111

Surprisingly, no news had reached Ardee's bedroom. 'Nothing serious, surely, your Grace?'

'Not unless you call a full-blown revolt serious.'

'Revolt?' Jezal swallowed.

'This man, the Tanner,' spat the Lord Chamberlain. 'He has been touring the countryside for months, whipping up dissatisfaction, sowing the seeds of disobedience, inciting the peasantry to crimes against their masters, against their lords, against their king!'

'No one ever suspected it would reach the point of open rebellion.' Varuz worked his mouth angrily. 'But following a demonstration near Keln a group of peasants encouraged by this Tanner armed themselves and refused to disband. They won a victory over the local landowner, and the insurrection spread. Now we hear they crushed a significant force under Lord Finster yesterday, burned his manor house and hung three tax collectors. They are in the process of ravaging the countryside in the direction of Adua.'

'Ravaging?' murmured Jezal, glancing at the door. Ravaging really was a very ugly word.

'It is a most regrettable business,' bemoaned Marovia. 'Half of them are honest men, faithful to their king, pushed to this through the greed of their landlords.'

Varuz sneered his disgust. 'There can be no excuse for treason! The other half are thieves, and blackguards, and malcontents. They should be whipped to the gallows!'

'The Closed Council has made its decision,' cut in Hoff. 'This Tanner has declared his intention to present a list of demands to the King. To the King! New freedoms. New rights. Every man the equal of his brother and other such dangerous nonsense. Soon it will become known that they are on their way and there will be panic. Riots in support of the peasants, and riots against them. Things are balanced on a knife edge already. Two wars in progress and the king in fading health, with no heir?' Hoff bashed at the table with his fist, making Jezal jump. 'They must not be allowed to reach the city.'

Marshal Varuz clasped his hands before him. 'The two regiments of the King's Own that have remained in Midderland will be sent out to counter this threat. A list of concessions,' and he scowled as he said the word, 'has been prepared. If the peasants will accept negotiation, and return to their homes, their lives can be spared. If this Tanner will not see reason, then his so-called army must be destroyed. Scattered. Broken up.'

'Killed,' said Hoff, rubbing at a stain on the table with his heavy thumb. 'And the ringleaders delivered to his Majesty's Inquisition.'

'Regrettable,' murmured Jezal, without thinking, feeling a cold shiver at the very mention of that institution.

'Necessary,' said Marovia, sadly shaking his head.

'But hardly straightforward.' Varuz frowned at Jezal across the table. 'In each village, in each town, in every field and farm they have passed through they have picked up more recruits. The country is alive with malcontents. Ill-disciplined, of course, and ill-equipped, but at our last estimate they numbered some forty thousand.'

'Forty . . . thousand?' Jezal shifted his weight nervously. He had supposed they were perhaps discussing a few hundred, and those without proper footwear. There was no danger here, of course, safe behind the walls of the Agriont, the walls of the city. But forty thousand was an awful lot of very angry men. Even if they were peasants.

'The King's Own are making their preparations: one regiment of horse and one of foot. All that is missing now is a commander for the expedition.'

'Huh,' grunted Jezal. He did not begrudge that unfortunate man his position, commanding a force outnumbered five to one against a bunch of savages buoyed up by righteousness and petty victories, drunk on hatred of noblemen and monarchy, thirsty for blood and loot . . .

Jezal's eyes went wider still. 'Me?'

'You.'

He fumbled for the words. 'I do not wish to seem . . . ungrateful, you understand, but, surely, I mean to say, there must be men better suited to the task. Lord Marshal, you yourself have-'

'This is a complicated time.' Hoff glared sternly at Jezal from beneath his bushy brows. 'A very complicated time. We need someone without . . . affiliations. We need someone with a clean slate. You fit the bill admirably.'

'But . . . negotiating with peasants, your Grace, your Worship, Lord Marshal, I have no understanding of the issues! I have no understanding of law!'

'We are not blind to your deficiencies,' said Hoff. 'That is why there will be a representative from the Closed Council with you. Someone who possesses unchallenged expertise in all those areas.'

A heavy hand slapped suddenly down on Jezal's shoulder. 'I told you it would be sooner rather than later, my boy!' Jezal slowly turned his head, a feeling of terrible dismay boiling up from his stomach, and there was the First of the Magi, grinning into his face from a distance of no more than a foot, very much present after all. It was no surprise, really, that the bald old meddler was involved in this. Strange and painful events seemed to follow in his wake like stray dogs barking behind the butcher's wagon.

'The peasants' army, if we can call it such, is camped within four days' slovenly march of the city, spread out across the country, seeking for forage.' Varuz craned forward, poking at the table with a finger. 'You will proceed immediately to intercept them. Our hopes hang on this, Colonel Luthar. Do you understand your orders?'

'Yes, sir,' he whispered, trying and utterly failing to sound enthusiastic.

'The two of us, back together?' Bayaz chuckled. 'They'd better run, eh, my boy?'

'Of course,' murmured Jezal, miserably. He had had his own chance to escape, his chance to start a new life, and he had given it up in return for an extra star or two on his jacket. Too late he realised his awful blunder. Bayaz' grip tightened round his shoulder, drew him to a fatherly distance, and did not feel like releasing him. There really was no way out.

Jezal stepped out of the door to his quarters in a great hurry, cursing as he dragged his box behind him. It really was an awful imposition that he had been obliged to carry his own luggage, but time was extremely pressing if he was to save the Union from the madness of its own people. He had given only the briefest consideration to the idea of sprinting for the docks and taking passage on the first ship to distant Suljuk, before angrily dismissing it. He had taken the promotion with his eyes open, and now he supposed he had no choice but to see it through. Better to do it, than to live with the fear of it, and so forth. He twisted his key in the lock, turned around, and recoiled with a girlish gasp of shock. There was someone in the shadows opposite his door, and the feeling of horror only worsened when he realised who it was.

The cripple Glokta stood against the wall, leaning heavily on his cane and grinning his repulsive, toothless grin. 'A word, Colonel Luthar.'

'If you are referring to this business with the peasants, it is well in hand.' Jezal was unable to keep the sneer of disgust entirely off his face. 'You need not trouble yourself on that-'

'I am not referring to that business.'

'Then what?'

'Ardee West.'

The corridor seemed suddenly very empty, very quiet. The soldiers, the officers, the servants, all away in Angland. There were just the two of them, for all Jezal knew, in the entire barracks. 'I fail to see how that is any concern of-'

'Her brother, our mutual friend Collem West, you do remember him? Worried-looking fellow, losing his hair. Bit of a temper.' Jezal felt a guilty flush across his face. He remembered the man well enough, of course, and his temper in particular. 'He came to me shortly before departing for the war in Angland. He asked me to look to his sister's welfare while he was away, risking his life. I promised to do so.' Glokta shuffled slightly closer and Jezal's flesh crept. 'A responsibility which, I assure you, I take as seriously as any task the Arch Lector might choose to give me.'

'I see,' croaked Jezal. That certainly explained the cripple's presence at her house the other day, which had, until then, been causing him some confusion. He felt no easier in his mind, however. Considerably less, in fact.

'I hardly think that Collem West would be best pleased with what has been transpiring these last few days, do you?'

Jezal shifted guiltily from one foot to the other. 'I admit that I have visited her-'

'Your visits,' whispered the cripple, 'are not good for that girl's reputation. We are left with three options. Firstly, and this is my personal favourite, you walk away, and you pretend you never met her, and you never see her again.'

'Unacceptable,' Jezal found himself saying, his voice surprisingly brash.

'Secondly, then, you marry the lady, and all's forgotten.'

A course that Jezal was considering, but he was damned if he'd be bullied into it by this twisted remnant of a man. 'And third?' he enquired, with what he felt was fitting contempt.

'Third?' A particularly disgusting flurry of twitches crawled up the side of Glokta's wasted face. 'I don't think you want to know too much about number three. Let us only say that it will include a long night of passion with a furnace and a set of razors, and an even longer morning involving a sack, an anvil, and the bottom of the canal. You might find that one of the other two options suits you better.'

Before he knew what he was doing Jezal had taken a step forward, forcing Glokta to rock back, wincing, against the wall. 'I do not have to explain myself to you! My visits are between me and the lady in question, but for your information, I long ago resolved to marry her, and am merely waiting for the right moment!' Jezal stood there in the darkness, hardly able to believe what he had heard himself say. Damn his mouth, it still landed him in all manner of trouble.

Glokta's narrow left eye blinked. 'Ah, lucky her.'

Jezal found himself moving forward again, almost butting the cripple in the face and crushing him helpless against the wall. 'That's right! So you can shove your threats up your crippled arse!'

Even squashed against the wall, Glokta's surprise only lasted an instant. Then he leered his toothless grin, his eyelid fluttering and a long tear running down his gaunt cheek. 'Why, Colonel Luthar, it is difficult for me to concentrate with you so very close.' He stroked the front of Jezal's uniform with the back of his hand. 'Especially given your unexpected interest in my arse.' Jezal jerked back, mouth sour with disgust. 'It seems that Bayaz succeeded where Varuz failed, eh? He taught you where your spine is! My congratulations on your forthcoming wedding. But I think I'll keep my razors handy, just in case you don't follow through. I'm so glad we had this chance to talk.' And Glokta limped off towards the stairs, his cane tapping on the boards, his left boot scraping along behind.

'As am I!' shouted Jezal after him. But nothing could have been further from the truth.

Ghosts Uffrith didn't look much like it used to. Of course, the last time Logen had seen the place had been years ago, at night, after the siege. Crowds of Bethod's Carls wandering the streets shouting, and singing, and drinking. Looking for folk to rob and rape, setting fire to anything that would hold a flame. Logen remembered lying in that room after he'd beaten Threetrees, crying and gurgling at the pain all through him. He remembered scowling out the window and seeing the glow from the flames, listening to the screams over the town, wishing he was out there making mischief and wondering if he'd ever stand up again.

It was different now, with the Union in charge, but it wasn't so very much more organised. The grey harbour was choked with ships too big for the wharves. Soldiers swarmed through the narrow streets, dropping gear all over. Carts and mules and horses, all loaded down and piled up, tried to shove a way through the press. Wounded limped on crutches down towards the docks, or were carried on stretchers through the spotting drizzle, bloody bandages stared at wide-eyed by the fresh-faced lads going the other way. Here and there, looking greatly puzzled at this mighty flood of strange people sweeping through their town, some Northerner was standing in a doorway. Women mostly, and children, and old men.

Logen walked fast up the sloping streets, pushing through the crowds with his head down and his hood up. He kept his fists bunched at his sides, so no one would see the stump of his missing finger. He kept the sword that Bayaz had given him wrapped up in a blanket on his back, under his pack, where it wouldn't make anyone nervous. All the same, his shoulders prickled every step of the way. He was waiting to hear someone shout, 'It's the Bloody-Nine!' He was waiting for folk to start running, screaming, pelting him with rubbish, faces all stamped with horror.

But no one did. One more figure that didn't belong was nothing to look at in all that damp chaos, and if anyone might have known him here, they weren't looking for him. Most likely they'd all heard he went back to the mud, far away, and were good and glad about it too. Still, there was no point staying longer than he had to. He strode up to a Union officer who looked as if he might be in charge of something, pushed his hood back and tried to put a smile on his face.

He got a scornful look for his trouble. 'We've no work for you, if that's what you're looking for.'

'You don't have my kind of work.' Logen held out the letter that Bayaz had given him.

The man unfolded it and looked it over. He frowned and read it again. Then he looked doubtfully up at Logen, mouth working. 'Well then. I see.' He pointed towards a crowd of young men, standing nervous and uncertain a few strides away, huddled miserably together as the rain started to thicken up. 'There's a convoy of reinforcements leaving for the front this afternoon. You can travel with us.'

'Fair enough.' They didn't look like they'd be much reinforcement, those scared-seeming lads, but that didn't matter to him. He didn't much care who he travelled with, as long as they were pointed at Bethod.

The trees clattered by on either side of the road dim green and black, full of shadows. Full of surprises, maybe. It was a tough way to travel. Tough on the hands from clinging to the rail all the way, even tougher on the arse from bouncing and jolting on that hard seat. But they were getting there, gradually, and Logen reckoned that was the main thing.

There were more carts behind, spread out in a slow line along the road, loaded down with men, food, clothes, weapons, and all the stuff you need to make a war. Each one had a lamp lit, hanging up near the front, so there was a trail of bobbing lights in the dull dusk, down into the valley and up the far slope, marking out the path of the road they'd followed through the woods.

Logen turned and looked at the Union boys, gathered up in a clump near the front of the cart. Nine of them, all jolting and swaying about together with the jumping of the axles, and all keeping as well clear of him as they could.

'You seen scars like that on a man before?' one muttered, not guessing he could speak their tongue.

'Who is he anyway?'

'Dunno. A Northman, I guess.'

'I can see he's a Northman, idiot. I mean what's he doing here with us?'

'Maybe he's a scout.'

'Big bastard for a scout, ain't he?'

Logen grinned to himself as he watched the trees roll past. He felt the cool breeze on his face, smelled the mist, the earth, the cold, wet, air. He never would have thought he'd be happy to be back in the North, but he was. It was good, after all that time a stranger, to be in a place where he knew the rules.

They camped out on the road, the ten of them. One group out of many, strung out through the woods, each one clustered close to their cart. Nine lads on one side of a big fire, a pot of stew bubbling over the top of it and giving off a fine-smelling steam. Logen watched them stirring it, talking to each other about home, and what was coming, and how long they'd be out there.

After a while one of them started spooning the food out into bowls and handing them round. He looked over at Logen, once he was done with the rest, then served up one more. He edged over like he was coming at a wolf's cage.

'Er . . .' He held the bowl out at arm's length. 'Stew?' He opened his mouth up wide and pointed into it with his free hand.

'Thanks, friend,' said Logen as he took the bowl, 'but I know where to put it.'

The lads all stared at him, a row of worried-looking faces, lit up flickering yellow on the far side of the fire, more suspicious than ever at him speaking their language. 'You talk common? You kept that quiet, didn't you?'

'Best to seem less than you are, in my experience.'

'If you say so,' said the lad who'd given him the bowl. 'What's your name, then?'

Logen wondered for a moment if he should make up a lie. Some nothing name that no one could have heard of. But he was who he was, and sooner or later someone would know him. That, and he'd never been much at lying. 'Logen Ninefingers, they call me.'

The lads looked blank. They'd never heard of him, and why would they have? A bunch of farmers' sons from far away, in the sunny Union. They looked like they barely knew their own names.

'What are you here for?' one of them asked him.

'Same as you. I'm here to kill.' The boys looked a bit nervy at that. 'Not you, don't worry. I've got some scores to settle.' He nodded off up the road. 'With Bethod.'

The lads exchanged some glances, then one of them shrugged. 'Well. Long as you're on our side, I guess.' He got up and dragged a bottle out of his pack. 'You want a drink?'

'Well, now.' Logen grinned and held out his cup. 'I've never yet said no to that.' He knocked it down in one, smacked his lips as he felt it warming his gullet. The lad poured him another. 'Thanks. Best not give me too much, though.'

'Why?' he asked. 'Will you kill us then?'

'Kill you? If you're lucky.'

'And if we're not?'

Logen grinned over his mug. 'I'll sing.'

The lad cracked a smile at that, and one of his mates started laughing. Next moment an arrow hissed into his side and he coughed blood down his shirt, the bottle dropping on the grass, wine gurgling out in the dark. Another boy had a shaft sticking in his thigh. He sat there, frozen, staring down at it. 'Where did that . . .' Then everyone was shouting, fumbling for weapons or throwing themselves flat on their faces. A couple more arrows whizzed over, one clattering into the fire and sending up a shower of sparks.

Logen threw his stew away, snatched up his sword and started running. He blundered into one of the boys on the way and knocked him on his face, slipped and slid, righted himself and ran full tilt for the trees where the arrow came from. It was run right at them, or run away, and he made the choice without thinking. Sometimes it doesn't matter too much what choice you make, as long as you make it quick and stick to it. Logen saw one of the archers as he rushed up close, a flash of his pale skin in the darkness as he reached for another arrow. He pulled the Maker's sword from its tattered sheath and let go a fighting roar.

The bowman could've got his arrow away before Logen was on him, most likely, but it would've been a close thing, and in the end he didn't have the bones to stand there waiting. Not many men can weigh their choices properly while death comes racing up at them. He dropped the bow too late and turned to run, and Logen hacked him in the back before he got more than a stride or two, knocked him screaming into the bushes. He dragged himself round face up, all tangled in the brush, screeching and fumbling for a knife. Logen lifted the sword to finish the job. Then blood sprayed out of the archer's mouth and he trembled, fell back and was quiet.

'Still alive,' Logen mouthed to himself, squatting down low beside the corpse, straining into the darkness. It would probably have been better for all concerned if he'd run the other way, but it was a bit late for that. Probably have been better if he'd stayed in Adua, but it was a bit late for that too.

'Bloody North,' he cursed in a whisper. If he let these bastards go they'd be making mischief all the way to the front and Logen wouldn't get a wink of sleep for worrying, aside from the good chance of an arrow in his face. Better odds coming for them, than waiting for them to come to him. A lesson he'd learned from hard experience.

He could hear the rest of the ambush crashing away through the brush and he set out after them, fist clenched tight round the grip of his sword. He felt his way between the trunks, keeping his distance. The light of the fire and the noise of the Union boys shouting dwindled behind him until he was deep in the woods, smelling of pines and wet earth, only the sound of men's hurrying feet to guide him. He made himself part of the forest, the way he had in the old days. It wasn't so hard to do. The knack came right back as though he'd been creeping in the trees every night for years. Voices echoed through the night, and Logen pressed himself still and silent up behind a pine-trunk, listening.

'Where's Dirty-Nose?'

There was a pause. 'Dead, I reckon.'

'Dead? How?'

'They had someone with 'em, Crow. Some big fucker.' Crow. Logen knew the name. Knew the voice too, now that he heard it. A Named Man who'd fought for Littlebone. You couldn't have called them friends, him and Logen, but they'd known each other. They'd been close together in the line at Carleon, fighting side by side. And now here they were again with no more than a few strides between them, more than willing to kill each other. Strange, the turns fate can take. Fighting with a man and fighting against him are only a whisker apart. Far closer together than not fighting at all.

'Northman, was he?' came Crow's voice.

'Might've been. Whoever it was he knew his business. Came up real quick. I didn't have time to get a shaft away.'

'Bastard! We ain't letting that pass. We'll camp out here and follow 'em tomorrow. Might be we'll get him then, this big one.'

'Oh aye, we'll fucking get him. Don't you worry about that none. I'll cut his neck for him, the bastard.'

'Good for you. 'Til then you can keep an eye open for him while the rest of us catch some sleep. Might be the anger'll keep you awake this time, eh?'

'Aye, chief. Right y'are.'