So this is h.e.l.l. Mama always did say I'd end up here when I pa.s.sed on. Guess she was right.

Guess I did go out with a bang, huh? Gotta hand it to Julian -- he sent me on this particular trip the way I always wanted to go. Talk about the f.u.c.k of a lifetime, man. Thing is, I don't think that memory's gonna comfort me for long down here.

h.e.l.l. It's an interesting place to visit, but I don't much think I want to stay long. Yet, anyway.

Wonder why I'm not afraid? Might just be me being all kinds of contrary even now, or maybe, just maybe, it's part of what Julian did to me. Maybe this is like coming home for a visit. Nothing scares you in your own home, if it's where you know you belong.

The trip had been ... well, different. Bree had ridden all kinds of cars, planes, motorbikes. He'd even gone bungee-jumping.

G.o.d, he loved the rush of wind through his hair in a total free-fall. The blast of adrenaline he got when he thought -- as he figured no one could help but think -- Is the safety net gonna kick in, or is this the end?

He'd gloried in screaming as he fell from the heavens, his own imitation of Lucifer, bright as the Morning Star, plunging forever down and down and down ...

Thing was, this time, he'd come to a most definite, not to mention d.a.m.ned painful, stop on terra-sort-of-firma. From what Bree could see, he appeared to be standing on a hardened but still red-hot plate of lava flow.

Huh. He had eyes. And yeah, feet, too. Feet that he could pick up and move, despite the fact that he should have been glued in place with his soles melted to the lava. He patted himself down and discovered the rest of his body had come along for the ride, vampire bites and all, still oozing trickles of fresh blood.

He also happened to be stark naked, with a hard-on that made him d.a.m.ned proud to look at. Bree couldn't help but whoop out a shout of laughter that rang to h.e.l.l's rafters and back. He might be d.a.m.ned to eternal torment, but he was still number one with his c.o.c.k!

And, oh, yes, he had ended up in h.e.l.l itself, no mistake. A glance around was all he needed to see more than he'd ever wanted to. Naked, fishy-white bodies stuck on pitchforks, with things that had horns and beaks, eating out their guts. Pillars of fire with people just visible, screaming out their agony as it burned but never consumed their flesh. Barry Manilow playing at high volume, Muzak version.

Yep. Definitely h.e.l.l.

No fire for Bree, though, and the first devil to approach him with a pointy thing backed off in a real hurry when Bree snarled and flipped it off. Huh. The power of a good old-fashioned "f.u.c.k off" seemed to come in handy still.

Curious, he padded forward off the lava and onto a path of sharp-edged rocks. He felt each one's razor-keen edge without ever getting a cut. After a moment's pause, Bree shrugged it off and walked on, tall and proud. Not that he was completely certain, but he was beginning to think Julian might have been right: Bree was tougher than anything on h.e.l.l and Earth.

He pa.s.sed by many a curiosity, standing to watch for a bit, or not, as he chose. Seemed to be a lot of people who'd ended up drowning for eternity in pools of filthy water, bloated bodies forever struggling and spluttering, not quite breaking the surface.

Every so often, he saw someone lashed to a table, while chattering beasts plunged wicked daggers into their soft bits and cut off their c.o.c.ks to eat -- c.o.c.ks that grew right back, over and over. He even saw one woman dancing naked on a bed of broken mirror gla.s.s. She might have been beautiful once, but wasn't anymore.

Funny thing, though, none of it held his attention for longer than a few seconds. His feet itched to travel on, and he let them.

Why not? Might be there was a reason for needing to keep on the move. He'd trusted his instincts on when to run before. When he'd listened, he'd gotten off clean. When he'd let his c.o.c.k or his heart blindside him, he'd ended up brokenhearted or, apparently, dead.

That was another thing to consider. Julian had made good on his word and killed Bree. Oughtn't he to be just a little p.i.s.sed off at the vampire? Bree tilted his head in thought as he walked. Nope, not even a flicker of anger. Just curiosity. Why now? Why me? What happens next?

He suspected he'd soon find out.

Wonder how fast I'm movin'? Bree felt like he was going at a normal pace, but the torments around him had started to blur as he pa.s.sed by, faster and faster, until they were no more than smears against a stretch of infinite and utterly black s.p.a.ce that stretched on forever. The rocks grew sharper under his feet, but still did not open him up. The only blood he spilled came from his bite marks, dribbling away. Crimson runnels made patterns down his throat and chest as the flow grew heavier, but he didn't stop to wipe them off.He kind of thought they looked pretty.

Still chuckling to himself at that notion, Bree didn't see the path come to a stop. He noticed when he jerked to a halt, though, hard and fast as if he'd plowed into a brick wall. Still not scared, only curious, he looked up.

And up.

And up some more.

Well, now, there was a sight to put the fear of G.o.d in anyone who wasn't Bree. Fifty feet tall or more, even sitting, the biggest f.u.c.king demon he'd seen yet sat on a throne made of skulls. Dry, bleached bones whose mouths still moved, opening up to scream and wail. The demon himself distracted Bree from the thing's choice of throne, though. He stared, curious.

Like Julian, it had two forms, but it shifted back and forth between them, like a TV station caught between channels. The one that was more clearly visible was a monster, skin dark purple and scaly, twisted into hard knots of scarring and raised veins, and thick with muscle, bulging with rage, jagged teeth, tusks, and eyes like twin coals. Blink for a second, and the demon changed into a manlike creature so beautiful that looking at him hurt. He shone with a pure white light that radiated from his curling blond hair, violet eyes, and smooth, luminous skin. Tears ran down his flawless cheeks.

Bree figured he knew who this was. He still wasn't scared. Felt like he was dropping by for a visit to his daddy somehow.

"Satan," he said casually. "What's up, you old f.u.c.ker?"

The monster snarled. "Insolence," it said with a voice like gravel in a crusher. "You dare?"

"Oh, suck my c.o.c.k. I'm not scared of you. You might be ugly, but to be honest, I've had worse blind dates, so forgive me for not falling down in fear. Nice chair, by the way. You make that yourself?"

Bree grinned, running his tongue over his own set of sharp teeth, as Lucifer sputtered and fumed. "Creature of mud!" it spat.

"From dust you came, to dust you will return, and then you belong to me."

"Doubt it." Bree touched his throat wound and held up a hand smeared with crimson. "Looks to me like someone made a prior claim."

Lucifer snickered. Odd, but that was the first time Bree felt anything even close to creeped out. "Only for a while," Old Scratch muttered, settling back in his throne of skulls. "I can wait millennia for you to come back and be my toy."

"Yeah, well, that's gonna be then, isn't it? Right now -- screw you." Bree paused. "Come back? So I'm not here to stay?"

"Ignorance is among your sins, fool. No." Satan's clawed hand clenched into a fist. "You are not come to be my prize yet.

Not just yet."

"Hot d.a.m.n!"

"Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Not so much. I'm going back, then, huh?" Bree grinned and folded his arms across his chest. "Julian's making good on his word, then. I'm coming back in style."

"A vampire. Creature of the night. Blood-drinker. Eater of souls."

"Yeah, yeah, d.a.m.ned forever, shut out from the light of G.o.d, whatever. I read Dracula; I've got the memo. You want to let me be on my way now, or what?"

Satan eyed him. "Answer one question first."

Bree eyed the Devil right back, then shrugged. Why not? "Go ahead. Ask me."

"Are your b.a.l.l.s truly bigger than your brains?"

Bree exploded into laughter. Peals of sheer mirth, a sound no doubt altogether foreign in h.e.l.l, echoed around him as Lucifer bared his teeth, made a gesture with one horned hand, and h.e.l.l went pitch black as he left it behind him for whatever came next.

As a vampire, he might be d.a.m.ned now, if he believed everything Julian had said, and he figured that was why he'd taken a trip to h.e.l.l in the first place. All the same, it wasn't time for him to stay there. Yet.

He felt himself falling again, but upward this time. Up and up and up, like a balloon on acid. Best free-fall ever. If it didn't mean going back down to talk with Old Ugly, he'd want to do it again. But then, he had a few other things on his mind. Landing with a soft thump back in his body, Bree felt his lips crooking up at the corners.

Felt like he'd been laid out on Julian's bed, arms folded like a corpse's. He sensed the weight of a man sitting beside him, then felt a cool hand gently combing through his hair. "Have you returned?" Julian whispered. "Come now, Bree. Wake for me.

Open your eyes to this brave new world."

f.u.c.k, yeah.

Bree snapped his eyelids open. The world jumped into sharp focus, blazing with colors never before so intense or alive. He felt cold, but wasn't worried about it. He knew his heart didn't beat and that he wasn't breathing, but he didn't care. As he ran his tongue over his teeth, he grinned at the mouthful of wicked fangs he found, but didn't give those a second thought, either.

He turned his head to the side and saw Julian, still more monster than man, grinning at him like twelve kinds of a fool in what appeared to be total satisfaction. "I knew you would be strong enough."

"Takes more than death to keep a b.a.s.t.a.r.d like me down."

Julian's beautiful eyes glowed. "May it ever be so."

"Yeah. Hey, Julian? Something I wanna take care of right quick. You mind?"

Julian looked puzzled, but shook his head. Bree bared his teeth in a grin he knew would have sent anyone else screaming.

"You asked for it," he said softly.

Then, he moved. And f.u.c.k, could he ever move now! Faster than good old Superman and those G.o.d-d.a.m.ned speeding bullets of his, faster than the speed of light, and, as he'd hoped, too fast for even Julian to track. Not pausing for one moment's consideration, Bree launched himself off the bed and tackled Julian by the stomach, knocking them both to the floor.

Without a word, he punched Julian in the face as hard as all his new strength allowed. Didn't even leave a mark, but f.u.c.k, was it ever satisfying.

"That's for killing me," Bree said. "Now, let me take this opportunity to thank you for pretty much the same thing."

Julian blinked. Then he began to laugh. "I knew," he managed between whoops of giggles -- giggles! -- "I knew you would be a vampire worthy of the name, no matter how you tried to lie to yourself and to me!"

"Oh, yeah. Love these fangs. Wicked sharp. You mind if I play?"

"It depends. What game did you have in mind?"

"Well, pretty soon, tracking down someone young, hot, and healthy, preferably not pumped up on steroids, and having dinner for three. So to speak. Right now, though, I'm thinking I want to go for a little 'turnabout is fair play.'"

Julian grinned, savage and beautiful. "Oh, do you, now?"

"d.a.m.n right. You gonna tell me no?"

"I would not dream of it."

"Good vampire." Bree bent to kiss Julian. He didn't bother being gentle, and neither did his maker. Their fangs nipped at each other's mouths, delicate nibbles that closed within seconds, but not before they got a small taste of blood. Bree savored the rich, salty, coppery fluid on his tongue. Might have made him gag when he was mortal, but now? Better than Russian vodka, besides giving him a buzz just like diving off a bridge.

Yeah, he'd fallen from grace. Then again, Bree figured he'd never been in too good with the Guy Upstairs, and if this was to be his fate, d.a.m.n him all over again if he didn't plan to enjoy it.

Really enjoy it.

The hard-on he'd sported down in h.e.l.l had come back with him. Felt different now, hard as if carved from stone, swollen stiff despite a lack of blood and, oh, so ready to play. He rubbed against Julian like a tomcat in heat. Julian groaned, lifting his hips to press against Bree's. Bree slipped down to bite at Julian's nipples, leaving circles of teeth marks that bled sluggishly in f.u.c.king gorgeous kaleidoscope patterns.

Julian's c.o.c.k also rose to the occasion. He arched and writhed beneath Bree, releasing devil-cries and cursing in a language Bree didn't know. Maybe no one else alive spoke it. Didn't matter, though. He got the point. No translation was needed for "Want to f.u.c.k. f.u.c.k now!"

"Plan on it," Bree growled. He tore at Julian's pants, shredding them off as easily as ripping a Kleenex into pieces. Bared his maker's c.o.c.k, stiff and proud, cold and steely hard when Bree put his hand around the thing. "But I figure you owe me this one."

Julian howled out in apparent bliss at Bree's touch. Yet his voice retained a touch of laughter when he asked, "You think yourself vampire enough to top me already?"

"Don't think," Bree said, baring his fangs. "Know."

Without a second's hesitation, Julian brought his bare legs up to lock around the small of Bree's back. "Go on, then," he whispered. "Show me your power, Bree."

"Guess we don't need lube."

Julian flashed fangs at him. "What do you think?"

"I suspect vampires like it rough." Bree slipped a hand between himself and Julian, angled his c.o.c.k just right, and pushed forward with all his strength. He felt his c.o.c.k pop past a forever-tight ring of muscle and deep into Julian's a.s.s.

Good. Really, really d.a.m.ned good.Bree worked Julian's c.o.c.k with an iron fist, pumping it up and down, hard and fast, even as he lunged in and out of his lover's a.s.s like a f.u.c.king s.e.x machine, all the while listening to Julian scream out his pleasure. He raised his own voice in a bellow of holy-f.u.c.king-hallelujah bliss.

They could have gone on forever, but Bree figured they did have other things to do, after all. He moved his hand just right, tugging on Julian's b.a.l.l.s just as he thrust deep into that tight back channel. Then, he just ... let go, as easily as he'd said goodbye to his mortal life, and poured out his first immortal o.r.g.a.s.m deep inside Julian's r.e.c.t.u.m Holy. f.u.c.king. h.e.l.l. Waves of pure black light rolled over Bree in thick flashes. Every muscle in his body spasmed with ecstasy, contracting into hard knots of agony and bliss. For all that, he still felt it when Julian came, arching high and hard, spilling gouts of s.e.m.e.n over Bree's hand. Both of them let out screams fit for creatures born in h.e.l.l.

Coming down wasn't like it had been before. No boneless, helpless, sweaty flop over his partner's body. Adrenaline, the taste of blood, and a new surge of extra power kept Bree upright, a grin blazing around his fangs, as he pulled out.

"So," he said. "Still think I'm worth the trouble?"

Julian laughed. Not the tired laugh of a man who'd just come hard enough to turn his world upside down and inside out, who should be brain-dead from his mind being blown all to pieces. No, his sound was vibrant with the wild, wicked energy and glee of his kind. Their kind.

"Trouble? Bree, you will never be anything but trouble. Now, and ever after. Why do you think I chose you? Not just because I knew you would make a vampire that could face down Lucifer himself, but because I knew you would put me to the test in everything."

"Yeah? So what's my final score?"

"Full marks." Julian reached up to stroke Bree's cheek, fingernails trailing light scratches down his newly scaly skin. The pain was pure bliss. "We'll make this city our own, Bree."

"Yeah? Maybe later. I'd rather eat, f.u.c.k, and maybe f.u.c.k again. Then we can see about world domination, Pinky." Bree grinned savagely. "Speaking of eating, you want to get up, find us some clothes, and take me out hunting already? I got a good few tastes in while we were rutting, but I want more. A lot more."

"Hookers have a good flavor." Julian sighed and stretched like a happy cat. A happy, h.o.r.n.y, saber-toothed tiger in the moonlight. "Let me up, and we'll do that very thing. You think like one of our kind already, Bree. You make me proud."

"Whatever. Food, f.u.c.k, lather, rinse, repeat, okay? We can talk about 'proud' later."

Julian lifted them both off the floor so easily, Bree knew he'd been letting Bree dominate earlier. Playing along. No big deal.

He'd be strong enough soon for a fair fight. He figured Julian knew as much, too.

Bree watched Julian's gorgeous vampire a.s.s stride away from him toward a dark wardrobe he just knew would be full of really f.u.c.king great gear. He leered at his new lover, running his tongue over his fangs, already making plans for their next roll between the sheets -- or on the floor, up against a wall. He wasn't picky.

"Do you plan to tell your friends?" Julian asked with a casualness Bree could tell right off was feigned "Show them what you've become?"

Bree frowned. Not that he minded his changeover one bit, nor would he go back for all the world and a guaranteed spot in Heaven, but he didn't really want to freak out the Brotherhood with his new look. They were mortal, lesser creatures than him now, but they'd treated him okay. "You got any more fancy masking tricks up your sleeve -- the kind you used to hide your real face earlier? I could use one of them now, I think."

Julian turned back, arms full of leather pants and vests. His gorgeous eyes sparkled. He smiled, his features melting back into that of a mortal's. Smooth and even. He handed the clothes off to Bree, then bent to kiss him, a light brush on Bree's own monster mouth.

"f.u.c.k!" Bree jerked back. Didn't hurt, but felt strange as all h.e.l.l, like cool water washing over him. When he reached up to touch his skin, his face and begrudging grin felt as normal as Julian's. "You're teaching me how to do that, you know."

"Am I?"

"You bet your a.s.s."