Chapter 40

I'm sorry, My Lady.

..what?

Even though it was an order from His Majesty, I shouldn't have hid and secretly listened into your conversation. I have deceived the lady.

Lucian bowed his head with a stiff face.

It's my fault.

.Even at this moment, his face looked too rigid for me to be touched by his apology.

I struggled to speak as my two fists clenched.

It's okay, I know how important it is for knights to follow their lord's orders. You have to follow through with it even if you don't want to.

You even had to get engaged to a woman, whom you haven't met before.

Even after hearing my words, Lucian's face didn't relax one bit.

Anger flared in his red eyes which looked calm at first.

Seeing that, my heart tensed up.

Somehow the portrait of Lucian came to mind at that moment.

His face with that spring sunshine-like smile greatly contrasted the cold face he had on right now.

The smile which he had only shown to Estelle.

Even if he did respect me as his fiancee, even if he did like me, it won't ever surpass his feelings for Estelle.

'Even so, that's too harsh. I'm your fiance.'

I said, suppressing my trembling voice.

Is Lord Kardien mad that I was secretly delivering the Crown Prince's letters to Estelle?

I couldn't help myself from doing it. Because Estelle looked really happy exchanging letters with the Crown Prince.

Lucian didn't answer, which annoyed me.

So you should give up on her. Give up that one-sided love of yours!

Whoop, there goes my mouth.

I covered my mouth too late, as the damage had already been done. I shouldn't have said that.

My heart pounded.

I slowly turned to look at Lucian.

Looks like I've touched his Achilles' heel with those words. (Note: Means to touch a weak spot.)

Lucian stared at me and nervously swept his hair back.

This was my first time seeing him so emotional.

'Oh no. Is he going to blow up now? He promised me though, that he'lll forgive me no matter what I do.'

I patted my pinky in a cold sweat. Like it was my only lifeline.

Lucian's deep sigh caused a stir in my heart.

His red eyes contained a lot more emotion than it ever did before.

Lucian spoke in an uncharacteristically sharp voice.

I don't know why you still worry about that.

.What?

It is true that I did adore the Saintess. I know that the lady had noticed it. But it's all in the past. How many times have I expressed it to you? But you never seem to believe it.

I did think that his feelings for Estelle had changed. But I wasn't sure.

Because I knew how deep his feelings for Estelle were.

So it was shocking to hear him directly deny his feelings for Estelle.

I stared blankly at him with my mouth wide open and stuttered.

T-then why are you angry? Since you don't have any feelings for Estelle, there's no reason to be mad at me.

I'm angry because the lady met the Crown Prince alone!

I know. It was just to exchange letters. However, it was very unpleasant to think about the fact that the lady was alone with another man in a place I don't know. It felt very dirty.

It was strange hearing him say harsh words that didn't suit his persona.

There was no time to feel scared or awkward.

My heart was pounding so hard.

Because his next words were too much.

My whole body trembled.

I looked at him, but couldn't say anything.

With deep affection in his red eyes, he said,

Don't you understand? You're the one I have in my heart, Pernia.

Side Story

I'm the Regretful Male Lead's Father

Your Majesty, Lord Kardien has arrived.

The Emperor lifted himself up at the voice of his servant.

Lucian stood in front of the Emperor leaning on his bed.

Lucian kneeled and bowed.

A cape with a yellow pattern embroidered on it lay over his silver armor. Even in this getup, Lucian's appearance was picturesque.

A smile formed on the Emperor's pale face.

Welcome, Lucian.

How is your body?

It's no different from usual.

With his eyes downcasted, the Emperor clearly looked ill.

However, thanks to his distinct features, his unique beauty remained intact, but the pain caused by the illness was evident on his face.

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Because his intestines were destroyed from consuming poison a long time ago.

He barely escaped death thanks to Estelle using the Saintess' power, but her power won't last long.

No one told him about that detail. The Emperor figured it out by himself.

However, even laying on death's bed, the Emperor remained temperate.

That was due to none other than Lucian in front of him.

How was the knight training?

It ended without a hitch thanks to every knight's hard work.

The Emperor smiled, pleased to hear Lucian's report.

Recently, Lucian was ordered by the emperor to train the Empire's knights.

Rather than the usual systematic militaristic training, it was an event to discipline knights and show the nation's strength to its people.

It was a very demanding task because it involved training the knights in public while showcasing their pride and power.

Lucian did such a difficult thing without a problem.

Just as the Emperor expected.

You've worked hard.

Lucian replied to the Emperor's praise with a calm face.

I just did what I was ordered to do.

Although he answered humbly, Lucian was an indispensable existence to the Emperor.

Lucian took care of many tasks in place of the bedridden ruler.

It was all thanks to Lucian that no ambitious knights and arrogant aristocrats could succeed in coveting the Emperor's position.

The empire's best knight with red eyes.

As long as he served the Emperor, no one could start a rebellion with ease.

Furthermore, the empire was in an unprecedented period of peace as Lucian led the long war to victory.

So the Emperor cared deeply for Lucian.

I'd like to reward you. Is there anything you want?

But Lucian's answer was always the same.

You've already given me a lot of rewards.

Despite the Emperor's many offers, Lucian was always unenthusiastic.

The Emperor always wanted to give back more to him.

So the Emperor gave Lucian a lot of things.

Although it was a single title, he gave the title of lord to Lucian, who was a commoner, and, although it was far from the capital, he gave him a small estate.

However, the Emperor was not satisfied.

Those were all the things he wanted for Lucian, not what Lucian wanted.

The Emperor said with a sad expression.

Since you said that, I was content with just giving you gems and swords this time. I wanted you to tell me what you honestly want, but it seems like I was being too greedy.

Lucian's face turned red at the Emperor's words.

The day after the Crown Prince's birthday banquet, Lucian visited the Emperor.

The Emperor was greatly surprised. Lucian only came to see the Emperor on his accord when he had business to report.

It was the first time he came to visit so suddenly for a personal matter.

Lucian said to the Emperor, who was excited to hear what Lucian had to say.

[Your Majesty, are you aware of what happened at the banquet yesterday?]

[What are you talking about?]

Lucian said to the intrigued Emperor.

[The Empress didn't seem to like my fiancee very much.]

'I didn't expect you to bring that up!'

In fact, the Emperor knew everything that happened yesterday.

If he were to guess from his report what Lucian was here for, it would be the incident with how the Empress Dowager picked on Pernia.

The Emperor made light of the matter.

Because it was not the first or second time that the Empress Dowager picked on any aristocrats she didn't like.

It was a little surprising that Estelle, who would usually stay quiet, actually said something back to the Empress Dowager, telling her not to bother Pernia.

But that was just the emperor's perspective.

Lucian's face looked very cold as he retold yesterday's happenings.

The Emperor asked carefully.

[Was it very unpleasant to see my mother pick on your fiancee?]

Instead of answering yes, Lucian expressed his feelings in one sentence.

[If she hadn't been the Empress Dowager, I wouldn't have come to see you.]

In other words, if the perpetrator had not been the Empress Dowager, he would have not held back on the enemy.

Lucian suppressed the feelings he felt towards his lord's mother and came to see the Emperor.

'You're asking me to take care of it because you can't do anything about it yourself.'

The Emperor lowered his eyebrows and laughed.

'I never imagined Lucian would ask such a favor.

This was embarrassing. The first thing he asked from me was to scold my very own mother.

Mother picked the wrong person this time.'

However, the Empress Dowager was out of line. It was not right to harass innocent people just to regain discipline.

This wasn't bad though, since it'll help with easing the Empress dowager's temperament.

So the Emperor nodded.

[I will tell Mother to write a polite apology to Lady Pernia. It won't happen again in the future, so rest assured.]

At the Emperor's words, Lucian nodded.