"Mr. Huntington!" she exclaimed in a low tone, "I had no idea you looked upon marriage like that! I didn't believe any man did! It makes me have more faith in my vision. Still, after all, that doesn't change the fact itself, for you are the exception. But, feeling as you do, I know now that the only reason you are not married is that you have never found the girl."
Huntington looked full into her face before he turned his head aside. "I did find the girl," he answered with a depth of feeling in his voice; "but I found her too late."
"Forgive me!" Merry cried impulsively, convinced that she had torn open a concealed wound.
"There is nothing to forgive, dear child," he said quickly. Then with that smile which took the world in its embrace he added, "Don't waste your sympathy on me; life has already given me more than I deserve."
"I am so sorry," Merry replied soberly. "She must have been a wonderful girl to win such a love."
"She was," he answered.
x.x.x
Billy Huntington was the founder of an original secret organization called the "Club for Undesirables." Being the founder he was privileged to write the By-Laws, and these consisted of a single Article: "The members of this Club shall be elected by the non-members." Exercising his prerogative he had proposed, seconded and elected Cosden and others of his acquaintance who failed to attain the standards he demanded of those around him; and now he unanimously declared Mrs. Thatcher a member in full standing.
These were not red-letter days for the boy. Ever since his visit to New York at Easter the times had been out of joint, and he blamed Merry's mother for it all. From his viewpoint the visit had been a "frost," and he nursed his resentment so successfully that he came to look upon it as a virtue. Uncle Monty noticed the change, but having no knowledge of the cause gave Billy credit for at last showing symptoms of growing up.
Philip looked upon his tragedy as a huge joke, and made his friend's life wholly unendurable by frequent veiled allusions to the "inflammable age," rubbed in as only a college chum can do. The sympathy he craved was sadly lacking, so he sought compensation by sympathizing with himself.
Billy would have been better satisfied with the completeness of his martyrdom had he been able to include Merry among those who abused him, but he could discover no point where she had failed to preserve an aggravatingly consistent neutrality. She was always friendly, accepting his extravagant expressions of devotion with a good-natured indifference which robbed them of all significance She had taken no exceptions to her mother's humiliation of him, nor had she taken advantage of it; everything progressed with a disgusting sameness, when he had confidently expected that the result of his visit would be to acclaim him Merry's accepted suitor, and thus raise him to the seventh heaven of delight.
While Hamlen had been in Boston Billy found himself again side-tracked.
Not only was Uncle Monty engaged, but Philip devoted much of his time to his new responsibility. Everything conspired to throw Billy back upon his own resources, and here he developed a decided hiatus. The boy's strongest point was his ability to fit in with some one else's plans, and of all his friends Philip proved most fertile in his suggestions.
Now Cla.s.s Day was at hand, and as it was not his Cla.s.s Day he felt himself eclipsed by the added glory which came to Philip and the other Seniors. As an under-cla.s.s man he counted for absolutely nothing. When he was a freshman, the comparative size of the halos worn by his Cla.s.s and the graduating students was an open question of debate; from a soph.o.m.ore's standpoint, he was near enough the freshmen to be able to look down upon them with a gratifying sense of superiority; but as a Junior there was nothing to do but to wait for the coming year,--and waiting was a game not included among Billy's favorite indoor or outdoor sports. He had expected little from the visit of the New York friends, owing to the presence of "the Gorgon" as he christened Mrs. Thatcher, and in this expectation he was not disappointed. Merry herself was fully occupied, and her mother took every opportunity to prevent diverting influences from affecting what she considered a crucial moment. So Billy, thoroughly disgruntled, drew himself up with a dignity which he did not know he possessed, denied himself to the visiting friends, and permitted the procession to move on without him.
Philip himself, being at New London with the crew, was prevented from taking personal partic.i.p.ation in the Cla.s.s Day festivities, but the cla.s.smate whom he delegated as subst.i.tute proved an ideal host. In Philip's absence Huntington had no compunctions in joining with Hamlen in the Thatchers' celebration; had the boy been there he would have felt it an intrusion for any one outside the family to share with them the triumph which comes but once in a college man's life. So they pa.s.sed together from spread to spread, in and out of the Yard, listening to the music, admiring the attractive costumes and the still more attractive girls, entering into everything with a spirit which even Hamlen felt, and which took Huntington back to his own Cla.s.s Day, so many years before.
When the march to the Stadium was formed Huntington led Hamlen to that portion of the line where their own cla.s.smates were a.s.sembled, and presented him to each. Only a few remembered him, but all gave him a welcome which confirmed Huntington's predictions. Hamlen noticed who the men were standing side by side, and was impressed by the fact that while in college the groups had been made up quite differently. He and Huntington, then, did not form so grotesque a combination as he had imagined. Other members of his Cla.s.s, who knew each other but slightly while in Cambridge, since then had discovered characteristics in each other which drew them together. As Huntington said to him in Bermuda, the ratio had become readjusted, the essentials only were remembered, and the real bond was the fact of being members of the great fellowship.
Then the procession started, and he fell into step with the new life which it had taken him so long to find.
After the exercises at the Stadium, Cosden, at Huntington's suggestion, took Hamlen with him to the Varsity Club, where the athletic heroes of past and present congregated. There was a motive back of the suggestion, and the effect on Hamlen of seeing these men, whose importance college ideals had magnified, in their present relation to the world and to their fellow-men, justified the experiment. Some of the old captains or record-holders showed unmistakably their continued pre-eminence; others had fallen back into the ranks after their temporary standard-bearing.
Hamlen could understand it now: what they did in college was of importance only to the extent that it fitted them for what was to follow; it was the use they made of this fitting in the after-life which produced the permanent effect. This was the difference between the means and the end which Marian tried to explain to him in Bermuda.
Then came Commencement as a crescendo. It would have meant little to Hamlen had it preceded Cla.s.s Day, but each new experience gave him fuller understanding and richer enjoyment. He saw again the same members of his Cla.s.s and felt now that he knew them; he met others, and was able to mingle freely as a fellow-cla.s.smate. On Cla.s.s Day the alumni came as a unit, on Commencement they separated into Cla.s.s groups, each with its own spread and reunion, offering greater opportunity for intimate exchanges of personal experience and mutual confidence.
The climax came the following day with the boat-race at New London. The Thatchers had returned home immediately after Cla.s.s Day with plans of their own still to be carried out, so Huntington and Cosden formed the body-guard which convoyed Hamlen to the great event. Huntington knew that he could not credit his friend's feverish antic.i.p.ation wholly to the dawning interest in Harvard events, but was equally content to see how personal a triumph Philip's seat in the boat had become to him. Had Hamlen's nervousness been shared by his namesake and the other oarsmen the result of the race might have been foreshadowed! He changed his mind about going so many times that Huntington finally insisted upon a definite decision.
"Of course I want to go," he explained; "but I never saw a Harvard crew win and I can't believe I'm going to now."
"Perhaps you won't," was the frank disavowal of responsibility. "The worm must turn again some time, and it may be that this is the year, but Harvard has the habit of winning now, and that goes a long way."
"It would kill me to see Phil lose!" Harden said with deep feeling.
"Tell me," Huntington said,--"tell me frankly for my gratification, is your eagerness to see Harvard win to-morrow wholly on Phil's account, or have these days brought your crimson blood near enough to the surface to make you keen for the crew to win because it's a Harvard crew? Don't deceive yourself or me. I really want to know."
Hamlen hesitated before making reply, then he returned Huntington's look with a frankness which conveyed much. His eye was clear and responsive now; the haunting terror had left it. He met the question squarely.
"Until this moment," he said, "I supposed myself sincere in believing that my interest lay wholly in having that boy come through victorious, but as you put it to me now I know there is a reason which lies deeper still. Thanks to you, dear friend, notes in my life which have always before been mute have now been struck, and I am finding a wonderful joy in the melody produced. I have awakened to my heritage, and I realize what I have missed in denying myself its privileges. I want Harvard to win, Huntington, because it's Harvard. I shall always want Harvard to win for the same reason. It may be better for the sport to have the victories alternate, it may be impossible to defend anything so selfish as a desire for an unbroken line of victories for years to come; but still I want it. There is no occasion to argue it, there is no logic to support it; I just simply want it!"
Huntington regarded him with a satisfaction too deep for outward exuberance. "I knew the spirit was too strong to accept limitations!" he exclaimed quietly but with an exultant ring in his voice. "I knew that no man could once place himself within the influence of college ideals and not recognize their existence. You have tested my convictions, Hamlen, but my faith has remained 'calm rising through change and through storm.'"
The strength of Huntington's emotion impressed Hamlen deeply. His own dawning was so recent that at first he could not believe it possible for his friend to be so affected by the subject under discussion.
"Do other Harvard men feel as strongly as you do?" he demanded questioningly.
"Of course," Huntington replied; "but it isn't a question of Harvard any more than of other colleges. We shout for our Alma Mater, but no more l.u.s.tily than the Yale or the Princeton man or the men of the smaller colleges shout for theirs. It is merely the expression of the spirit of loyalty and the sense of obligation, Hamlen. Not to express it is unnatural, not to feel gratified when another laurel wreath is placed upon the brow of our Dear Mother is a lack of filial devotion which I refuse to believe exists."
They elected to see the race from the observation-train, that they might watch the positions of the crews from beginning to end rather than at any fixed point. There was no novelty in the experience for Huntington or Cosden except the ever-present uncertainty of the outcome, but to Hamlen even the crowds which he had previously avoided added to his excitement by imparting to him the thrill of their repressed expectancy. He resented the calmness of his companions as they perused their morning papers on the train. He tried to follow their example, but found himself mechanically reading over and over again the statistics of the two crews. Harvard was the favorite, but that he took as a bad omen for he still remembered the Harvard teams which had gone into their contests with the odds on their side, and had failed to win the expected victories. Harvard overconfidence was a byword when he was in college, and it was overconfidence which he feared now.
They took their places on the improvised seats of the platform freight-cars, ready to be hauled to the point of vantage at the start, but the train seemed frightfully deliberate in getting under way. Hamlen glanced at his watch nervously and was surprised that so little time had elapsed since his last observation. Finally they found themselves opposite the judge's boat. Harvard was already nearing the mark and the Yale crew followed only a few lengths in her wake. Hamlen watched the manoeuvers, disturbed by the conflicting cheers coming in sharp staccato from every direction. At last the boats lined up in position.
Hamlen fancied that he could hear the referee's challenge: "Ready, Harvard? Ready, Yale?" Then the pistol cracked out with reverberating echoes, the oars gripped the water, the sh.e.l.ls shot forward, and the race was on!
Hamlen's face set grimly and he sat bolt upright, taking no part in the mad cheering or the boisterous excitement. His eyes followed every stroke of the oars, and he suffered keenly as the Yale boat took a lead of half-a-length at the quarter-mile. Then he saw Harvard settle down to her work with a stroke quickened enough to enable her to take the advantage. The same stroke kept the crimson boat forging steadily ahead.
At the half-mile the positions were reversed, at the mile clear water showed between the sh.e.l.ls, another mile added two lengths more, in spite of Yale's plucky efforts to close in on the gaping s.p.a.ce. At three miles Harvard had five lengths to the good, and for the first time Hamlen relaxed his tense att.i.tude.
"If it would not be a case of overconfidence," he said quietly to his companions, "I should say that Harvard was going to win!"
"Nothing but an act of G.o.d can save Eli now!" Cosden replied between his cheers. "Why don't you yell?"
"I can't," Hamlen said; "I feel it too much!"
Still the crimson boat gained, and the contest had changed into a procession.
"Do they ever lose with a lead like that?" he asked Huntington anxiously.
"Lose!" his friend shouted,--"lose! They're gaining every stroke! Rah!
rah! rah! Harvard! Harvard! Harvard! There they go across the line!"
He threw his arms deliriously around Cosden and Hamlen and they performed a war-dance on the unsubstantial seats. Every Harvard sympathizer on the train had gone mad, and the Yale streamers were buried in the avalanche of crimson flags.
"Another one!" Huntington shouted; "another wreath for the Alma Mater, Hamlen! Rah, rah, rah! Harvard!"
Hamlen had caught the contagion and was as affected with delirium as those around him. He shouted his college yell over and over again, unconscious that it was the first time in his life he had ever done so.
Huntington, the sedate Huntington, was cavorting like a two-year-old, yet Hamlen saw nothing incongruous in his conduct. Cosden was so hoa.r.s.e that his cries resembled a wheezy calliope, yet they were sweet music in Hamlen's ears. Harvard had won, Philip had won, he had won!
At the station a crowd of undergraduates were singing hilariously:
"_Bring the bacon home, John, We cannot eat it all.
We sometimes got a taste of it When you and I were small.
But now you bring it home, John, In springtime and in fall.