Then they brought out the birthday cake. And I was shooting with my camera and this person pulls down her hat and walks away and I didn't even know who it was and I went into the kitchen and then Diane Keaton comes in and said, "Hi kids, how are you?" And I mean, who does she think she is? is? I was taking pictures of the I was taking pictures of the cake cake. And I mean, she goes around the city doing her her photographs of anybody she wants, so where does she have the photographs of anybody she wants, so where does she have the nerve nerve to act like that? And then she went downstairs and I was talking in a loud voice about how I thought she was a phony and maybe she heard, but I don't care. If I see her again I'm going to tell her off once and for all, what a big phony-baloney she is. Julian had a lot of new work around. He's buying back his early work that he sold for $600 or something, for about $40,000, because he knows he should. He doesn't know how to deal with me and Jean Michel. He owes us some pictures (supplies $1). to act like that? And then she went downstairs and I was talking in a loud voice about how I thought she was a phony and maybe she heard, but I don't care. If I see her again I'm going to tell her off once and for all, what a big phony-baloney she is. Julian had a lot of new work around. He's buying back his early work that he sold for $600 or something, for about $40,000, because he knows he should. He doesn't know how to deal with me and Jean Michel. He owes us some pictures (supplies $1).

He had a lot of Joseph Beuys stuff around. Joseph Beuys just died on Friday. And Tinkerbelle died. It was in the Friday papers. It said that she died on Tuesday when she jumped out of a window.

Edit deAk was wearing one of these Afghan hats and she said that she told Diane Keaton once to "stop wearing those stupid hats," and then she comes in wearing a stupid hat herself and runs into Diane Keaton, so she was really embarra.s.sed.

And the Music issue is coming up and I really have to call Eric Andersen back, he's been calling me, and get him into the issue. Interview Interview doesn't ask me to do interviews myself anymore or anything. They used to ask me to do a person now and then. Were my interviews bad, or ... doesn't ask me to do interviews myself anymore or anything. They used to ask me to do a person now and then. Were my interviews bad, or ...

Sunday, January 26, 1986 Went to the flea market and it was raining. Then went over to the East Side to the armory show. At Sotheby's they'd just sold a table for $1.2 million. A record. And at the armory there were all these people that I used to buy junk from for $35, and if I'd only bought the $100 stuff, that stuff would be worth a lot now, but I bought the cheap stuff. And now what people want is only one of a kind. My art is just the opposite.

Tuesday, January 28, 1986 Brigid came in and said that her father had died and that she wanted to go home, and I told her to keep on working. Paige was very sympathetic, but I was trying to just, you know, make it less traumatic for her.

Thursday, January 30, 1986 Benjamin Liu came and gave me the tragic news that his costume jewelry business is soaring and that he's going into it full-time and won't be coming by for me in the mornings anymore. So an era has ended. I guess I'll just be going straight to work, which is just as well, I'll get more work done. There are other possibilities of people to try out, but Benjamin was special.

George the secretary at Yoko Ono's called and invited me to a dinner party for her big screening of the movie she and John made in 1972 and a benefit concert at Madison Square Garden, I think for Bangladesh. And there were a lot of other things to do but I decided to do that. I asked if I could bring someone to Yoko's and later they called and said okay, so I asked Sam Bolton. He's only interested when it's big celebrities.

Was picked up by Sam and we cabbed to Amsterdam and 64th or 65th for the screening and I was next to Jann Wenner (cab $4). And John was such a great comedian, so natural on stage and those funny little movements and good lines. Yoko was just screaming, it was one of her early performances.

Then there was a dinner at Jezebel's and Jann gave us a ride in his limo. Roberta Flack was there and Earl and Camilla McGrath and we all walked in and they were shocked with this glamorous place that they didn't know about. Jezebel redid it and it looks cleaner now. She kissed me hard on my cheek. I was next to Roberta Flack and one of the Spinks brothers came in wearing a big fur coat. And Michael Douglas came later.

And I guess I don't know how to talk to little Sean Lennon. I'm too abstract. Because Roberta Flack was so great with him. He said, "Roberta, what is a torch singer?" And she said, "Well, Sean, a torch singer is someone who sings with not too much music playing, very softly, and with a lot of feeling." And then he felt he understood. The sweet potato pie was really good and then I realized it must have had bacon lard in the crust.

Afterwards Jann Wenner offered me a ride home and so Sam and I went with him and I said he didn't have to drive Sam downtown, that he'd get out on 66th Street with me and just get a cab cab home, and Jann made comments like he didn't care what I did in my private life. So we got out at 66th and Park and I gave Sam money to get a cab and I walked home ($5). home, and Jann made comments like he didn't care what I did in my private life. So we got out at 66th and Park and I gave Sam money to get a cab and I walked home ($5).

Sat.u.r.day, February 1, 1986 Paige and I went to Global Furniture-they advertise. There was an umbrella thing as big as a whole room that I'm thinking we should get for the Madison Avenue part of the building so that the people across the street can't look down and see me painting. It's such a huge umbrella, about 20' X 20'. It's only about $800. We were there all afternoon.

Sunday, February 2, 1986 I puttered around and then went to church, and while I was praying praying this guy comes over to sell me a $100 raffle ticket. Can you believe that? For the church. He forces this ticket on me and it's this queeny decorator and then I hear him back there telling somebody how he just sold it to me, and I think he was actually getting rid of this guy comes over to sell me a $100 raffle ticket. Can you believe that? For the church. He forces this ticket on me and it's this queeny decorator and then I hear him back there telling somebody how he just sold it to me, and I think he was actually getting rid of his his ticket that he bought and didn't want. And they're selling 300 tickets at $100 each, so that's what, $30,000? And they're giving a $10,000 cash prize, so you just know what that means-if you win they'll want it back as a donation. He said, "I hate to disturb you while you're praying, but ..." ticket that he bought and didn't want. And they're selling 300 tickets at $100 each, so that's what, $30,000? And they're giving a $10,000 cash prize, so you just know what that means-if you win they'll want it back as a donation. He said, "I hate to disturb you while you're praying, but ..."

Wednesday, February 5, 1986 I picked up a copy of Status Status magazine from the sixties, and it was so interesting, all these people who were social climbing then and they magazine from the sixties, and it was so interesting, all these people who were social climbing then and they still still are. And Wyatt Cooper was the editor. Gloria Vanderbilt's last husband. are. And Wyatt Cooper was the editor. Gloria Vanderbilt's last husband.

Paige was having a business dinner for Janet Sartin and Steven Greenberg who was bringing Margaux Hemingway as his date. He picked us up in his limousine and when Paige and I went out we caught him and Margaux really kissing in the car and they got embarra.s.sed when we saw them. Went to Mr. Chow's.

And the best thing was Burgess Meredith was there and I sort of know him from years ago, he dated a girl who lived in the big apartment that I shared with all those kids on 103rd Street. And when he was leaving he came over to say h.e.l.lo, and he said "How's your ex-wife, Paulette?" I think he actually thinks that I was married to her, too. He was with a beautiful girl, I couldn't really see. It could have been a daughter or a date, I don't know.

Monday, February 10, 1986 At 7:30 the Mattel car came to take me to Pier 92 at 55th and Twelfth Avenue where Billy Boy's big Barbie doll exhibition was, and they were going to unveil my portrait and the portrait looks so bad, I don't like it. Barbie (laughs) (laughs) has problems. The fifties Barbie had a more closed mouth and beautiful sensual lips, but the eighties Barbie has a smile. I don't know why they gave her a smile. I could never relate to Barbie because it was too puny. Someone told me that the Arabs have just commissioned a bigger Barbie. Fred said it was through Billy Boy that I got the portrait. I think he asked Billy Boy to suggest it to Mattel. I'll have to get this straight from Fred, it was a surprise to me. I didn't know how it happened. And I guess Billy Boy has a lot of great sixties stuff because all those pictures in the display cases were his-of Edie and me and all the has problems. The fifties Barbie had a more closed mouth and beautiful sensual lips, but the eighties Barbie has a smile. I don't know why they gave her a smile. I could never relate to Barbie because it was too puny. Someone told me that the Arabs have just commissioned a bigger Barbie. Fred said it was through Billy Boy that I got the portrait. I think he asked Billy Boy to suggest it to Mattel. I'll have to get this straight from Fred, it was a surprise to me. I didn't know how it happened. And I guess Billy Boy has a lot of great sixties stuff because all those pictures in the display cases were his-of Edie and me and all the Vogue Vogue things, and the Cow poster. How does he have time to do this-collect his antique couture clothes and design his jewelry? I think Bettina has done a lot for him. Fred said Bettina was who the original Barbie was based on. I talked for a minute to Mel Odom who designed a lot of the stuff in the show, he's very talented. things, and the Cow poster. How does he have time to do this-collect his antique couture clothes and design his jewelry? I think Bettina has done a lot for him. Fred said Bettina was who the original Barbie was based on. I talked for a minute to Mel Odom who designed a lot of the stuff in the show, he's very talented.

And they unveiled my painting and the Mattel president said he just couldn't wait to see it and I just cringed.

Then left and went to the Peter Allen birthday party at Bud's on Columbus and 77th Street. Liberace came and he looked great. The papers say he's been sick but he doesn't look it. He called me over to be photographed with him but then it still looks like you're pushing your way in.

Wednesday, February 12, 1986 Paige was having a big business dinner at the Cafe Condotti. Rupert gave us a ride up there, to 38 East 58th Street, and the place was cute, but kind of like a Coca-Cola stand, that size. And I got a shock when I walked in and Jed was there. I had my dates, the nutritionist Tama and Paige introduced me to a couple of weeks ago at a blind-date dinner who I thought was blond but he turned out in that light to be grey, and Bernsohn. Steven Greenberg and Margaux Hemingway came. And Bettina came with Billy Boy and she had on a black Azzedine outfit. His clothes look good on her. Jed designed the restaurant and he put my Grape prints on the walls.

And then afterwards, Stephen Sprouse walked me home, and he said that The Limited wanted to give him a contract but that he wasn't going to do it.

Thursday, February 13, 1986 Went to Martin Poll's apartment on Park Avenue for his party for Sylvester Stallone and Brigitte Nielsen (cab $5). Everyone was supposed to wear red and black so she wore green. Stallone used my kind of lines on me. He said, "I read about you in every paper." I told him the same thing and he said that the Star Star was now even doing interviews with his mother, and I said that I was reading them. That's about all he said, and that was only at the end, when they were going to the door. was now even doing interviews with his mother, and I said that I was reading them. That's about all he said, and that was only at the end, when they were going to the door.

And for a present I gave Stallone one of those paintings, Be a Somebody with a Body, and he liked it a lot.

Friday, February 14, 1986 Worked a little bit and then went to Fiorucci from 4:00-6:00 to sign America America books and signed 185. And Billy Boy came by the store and then Paige came and took us over to the Cafe Condotti for tea. And that was fun. When we sit underneath all my Grape prints, it seems like it's books and signed 185. And Billy Boy came by the store and then Paige came and took us over to the Cafe Condotti for tea. And that was fun. When we sit underneath all my Grape prints, it seems like it's our our place or something. place or something.

And meanwhile, Jean Michel is really unhappy-Shenge is having his one-man show. And I mean, he's (laughs) (laughs) just as good as Jean Michel. And Jean Michel kicked him out and changed the locks, but then finally he let him in to get his paintings. just as good as Jean Michel. And Jean Michel kicked him out and changed the locks, but then finally he let him in to get his paintings.

Monday, February 17, 1986 I screamed at the Interview Interview girls because one of them set off the alarm and it costs $50 every time the alarm company comes. Even if you call them one second after it starts and say it was a mistake, they want the $50 so they tell you "The guy already left," and he comes. girls because one of them set off the alarm and it costs $50 every time the alarm company comes. Even if you call them one second after it starts and say it was a mistake, they want the $50 so they tell you "The guy already left," and he comes.

Rupert dropped me off. Heard about the Tylenol mystery on the news. I watched Letterman Letterman and he's suddenly gotten too sure of himself. Too c.o.c.ky. It's not becoming on him. He had Raquel Welch on. Oh, and Sandra Bernhard was on and she had some Diane Von Furstenberg-brand towel paper, and she said, "Andy Warhol calls Diane Von Furstenberg and says, 'Let's go dancing,' but she says, 'No, I've got to clean up with my Diane Von Furstenberg towel paper.' " and he's suddenly gotten too sure of himself. Too c.o.c.ky. It's not becoming on him. He had Raquel Welch on. Oh, and Sandra Bernhard was on and she had some Diane Von Furstenberg-brand towel paper, and she said, "Andy Warhol calls Diane Von Furstenberg and says, 'Let's go dancing,' but she says, 'No, I've got to clean up with my Diane Von Furstenberg towel paper.' "

Wednesday, February 19, 1986 No Benjamin, so I guess it's really over. And I'm also losing Lidija because now that she's opening her own gym she can only give workouts in the mornings, which I don't want, so I'm going to have to find someone else. I walked to work.

Went to 50/50 and then went to Speakeasy. Then we went up to the office (cab $4).

Then I heard that Rupert's friend Patrick had died that morning at 3 A.M A.M. when he was taking a shower. He was in the hospital in Maryland and he used to go to Rupert's in New Hope, Pennsylvania for the weekends. And usually he had two people with him, but he decided to take a shower and he died in it. He was a guinea pig for a new treatment, so they don't know exactly what happened with him. So that was the bad news. The good news was that Edmund got out of the hospital. Peter Wise was going over there to cook. And I wish I could help him, somehow, but it was good to hear that he got out.

Kent Klineman was at the office talking to Fred and me about the Cowboys and Indians portfolio he's commissioning.

Went to the Eric Fischl show at the Whitney and it was really interesting. The paintings are off, the perspectives are wrong, but somehow they're right. They're like Playboy Playboy ill.u.s.trations. Talked to Eric. Thanked Mary Boone for having us. ill.u.s.trations. Talked to Eric. Thanked Mary Boone for having us.

Thursday, February 20, 1986 There was a lunch at the office for three of Paige's advertisers and also for Billy Boy to give him a Barbie portrait. Bettina was with him. Rupert came up with some work before he was going off to Patrick's funeral. Anthony d'Offay was there from London to check on the Self-Portraits.

Ended up the day watching the Letterman Letterman show with Ron Reagan, Jr. on and he's really changed. I was surprised he was so forward. And Letterman was just so thrilled to have him on. And the daughter's got a show with Ron Reagan, Jr. on and he's really changed. I was surprised he was so forward. And Letterman was just so thrilled to have him on. And the daughter's got a People People cover for her trashy book, so the whole family is out there hustling. cover for her trashy book, so the whole family is out there hustling.

Friday, February 21, 1986 Worked all afternoon. Rupert didn't come because he was still at the funeral. Live for today, Dear Diary. Worked really late.

Sat.u.r.day, February 22, 1986 At the office Sam tried to take pictures of me that I need to work from for the Self-Portraits for the English show, and I'd done my hair in curlers and everything and he just couldn't get it right, and when Sam can't get something right right away he gets frustrated and quits and has sort of a tantrum and I can see why he never finished school.

Sunday, February 23, 1986 I went to church. I still haven't paid the guy for the raffle. I didn't win, and so do you think I should mail it to him, the $100? I don't know, I guess I will.

Fred called and said the Hammer & Sickles went low. My prices were up until that de Menil auction and that brought them down. And Tony Shafrazi's show was bad for everyone. If he'd only waited and done it this year. There was no rush, and then it would've been that we'd be still painting together. But then all shows are like that-you have a show and then it's over, and you've used up all your material.

Monday, February 24, 1986 Cabbed to the office to meet Rupert and he was back from the funeral ($5). I didn't talk about it until later that night because I didn't want to bring it up, but he said it was weird. And Edmund calls Rupert all the time, at all hours, because he's so nervous. I invited Rupert to a movie after work.

It was a busy afternoon with people coming by. Gael came in to show me pictures of Joe Dallesandro that Greg Gorman took for Interview Interview, and G.o.d, he's still so handsome, he looks really good-his skin is really strong, I guess.

Oh, and Dolly Fox is dating Steven Greenberg and asking me to find out what the story on him and Margaux is. She said he picked her up at 8:00 and she was with him till 5:00 and he wants to see her again on Tuesday.

Saw the Rob Lowe skating movie, then took Rupert to Serendipity for cake and the waiters sang and he felt better ($20).

Tuesday, February 25, 1986 Jean Michel called and said he found a dead person in his backyard yesterday. He called the police and they were in the backyard all day, and by 6:00 they still hadn't taken the body away. He was from the flophouse next door. And Jean Michel sent the cat that didn't catch rats down to Atlanta, he sent it on a plane for $100 down to some gallery there. The poor cat probably never got taken care of-I mean, can you imagine being a cat in the hands of Jean Michel?

Tried to work with Fred and with Vincent, but my room is so filled with junk, I can't pull out of it. I tried on wigs from Fiorucci but it looked like too much of a big-hat wig, too outrageous. This is for the Self-Portraits. Paige called a couple of times from the fat farm she went to and it was fun talking to her. The Music issue is going to cost us a lot. Cyndi Lauper is the cover.

Thursday, February 27, 1986 Oh and that lady Halston was supposed to bring down for a portrait cancelled, but I mean, anybody who keeps telling you she's got a check for $999 million in her pocketbook is either having a nervous breakdown or she's on c.o.ke.

And Arnold Schwarzenegger never called back. He was going to have Maria Shriver's portrait done for a wedding present and then her mother and cousins, too.

Friday, February 28, 1986 Sam and I went to the Eastside Cinema to see Hollywood Vice Hollywood Vice (tickets $12, popcorn $5). The people behind us complained that they couldn't see over my hair, so that threw me and we moved over two seats. I didn't move my backpack with me, though. During the movie the Exit door opened a few times. After it was over, we left, and when we got outside I realized that I hadn't taken my bag, so Sam went back in to get it and it was gone. So then we looked everywhere, in all the bathrooms and things, and in all the trash baskets, and we told the people at the theater, but it wasn't anywhere and they don't care. It had bank statements and makeup and an ashtray from a restaurant and receipts. No keys. Three oranges, telephone bills, my Prudential health insurance cards, some money. So we ran around the block checking every trash basket, Sam felt terrible, and a big truck almost ran into us but missed us and ran into a lamppost. So I went home and I felt violated. They stole the monkey off my back. But it's actually a relief. I've decided I won't replace it. (tickets $12, popcorn $5). The people behind us complained that they couldn't see over my hair, so that threw me and we moved over two seats. I didn't move my backpack with me, though. During the movie the Exit door opened a few times. After it was over, we left, and when we got outside I realized that I hadn't taken my bag, so Sam went back in to get it and it was gone. So then we looked everywhere, in all the bathrooms and things, and in all the trash baskets, and we told the people at the theater, but it wasn't anywhere and they don't care. It had bank statements and makeup and an ashtray from a restaurant and receipts. No keys. Three oranges, telephone bills, my Prudential health insurance cards, some money. So we ran around the block checking every trash basket, Sam felt terrible, and a big truck almost ran into us but missed us and ran into a lamppost. So I went home and I felt violated. They stole the monkey off my back. But it's actually a relief. I've decided I won't replace it.

And my brother told me that Victor Bockris has taken out an ad in the Pittsburgh paper about getting people who knew me to talk to him for the book he's writing about me.

Sunday, March 2, 1986 Went to church and saw Adolfo and felt a little hurt because he walked right by and didn't say h.e.l.lo. In my mind I always picture him in a little Chanel-type suit. I believe they should wear some version of what they design.

Went to Christie's and Phillips, and since my bag was stolen I've had invasion dreams. Nutty dreams with invasions. Went home.

Sam and PH picked me up and we went to the Hard Rock Cafe for Paul Shaffer's live radio show (cab $7). And Paul had Christopher Reeve there, and he said he loved the Greg Gorman pictures of him in Interview Interview. And Peter Frampton was there and two Grateful Deads and two Cars. And we met Steve Jordan, the drummer in Paul Shaffer's band on Letterman Letterman, and he's just adorable-he's intelligent and s.e.xy.

I was mobbed by little girls on the way out and signed autographs and then we got a cab and I gave Sam money to drop us off ($7).

Wednesday, March 5, 1986 Jay's back from Paris and he said he had a good time there. All the de Menil family was there, too, because Pierre Schlumberger died (phones $2, newspapers $2).

When I got to the office I caught the tail end of a lunch for this guy named Stringfellow who was opening a club on East 21st Street and he acted funny and left in a weird way, so I began to think that maybe it was because I hadn't been at the whole lunch. And Fred didn't understand, either, what the problem was, but then later Paige called the girl who was with him and found out that that was was the problem, that he was offended that I wasn't there. He's English. But then later on he called and did take an ad. the problem, that he was offended that I wasn't there. He's English. But then later on he called and did take an ad.

Friday, March 7, 1986 It was freezing out. Went with the nutritionist I met on the blind date to see Out of Africa Out of Africa at the Greenwich Theater. It was two and a half hours long. It's another one of those movies where nothing happens-they do this and then they do that and then they do this and then they do that, but there's no action. at the Greenwich Theater. It was two and a half hours long. It's another one of those movies where nothing happens-they do this and then they do that and then they do this and then they do that, but there's no action.

Sat.u.r.day, March 8, 1986-New York-New Hope, Pennsylvania-New York John Reinhold picked me up with his j.a.panese car and we went to New Hope to talk to Rupert about art projects. His house is like a stage set. Rupert is the grand man around town with two Bentleys. The house was a mill, it looks like old Rome with the ruins in parts. Four Persian cats. Fireplaces working all the time. His cousin, a girl, came from New York to make a cake for us and she baked bread, too, which was the best thing.

New Hope is 90 percent gay. We went to a place called Ramona's and a drag queen served us and people were there drinking at 2 P.M P.M. Gay old guys. It was too gay for me, it drove me crazy. Like a time warp. A gay hotel-motel. The drag queen looked like Rupert's mother with the blonde beehive. She had on pants but a four-inch leather belt really tightening in her waist. And a guy came over and said Rupert was an alien and Rupert said, "I am not an alien. I am Rupert Jason Smith" (lunch $60). And then Rupert said I had to leave the drag queen a big tip since she stayed open for us (tip $25). Gave me gooseb.u.mps. Then we went to places run by gay sons and fat mothers. Antiques places. Then we went back to the house and the girl had made a dessert, and we ate lots of bread. Then at 7:30 we left for New York and then after John dropped me off I remembered that I'd been invited to Chast.i.ty Bono's birthday party.

So I cabbed downtown to Sixth Avenue between 9th and 10th, a Mexican restaurant ($6). The party was in full swing. Every girl was like a movie star, I mean, she'd copied a look. Some looked like Molly Ringwald, there were three or four Madonnas. Cher didn't come to the party because she and Chast.i.ty had a fight. Chast.i.ty goes to the School of Performing Arts. Stayed till 12:30 (cab $7).

Sunday, March 9, 1986 In the Times Times it said that Imelda Marcos left 3,000 pairs of shoes in the Philippines. Maybe she it said that Imelda Marcos left 3,000 pairs of shoes in the Philippines. Maybe she was was trash, I mean when I think about the type of people they were wining and dining. And they found p.o.r.no in Marcos's room. It's like if somebody went through your apartment and wrote about it trash, I mean when I think about the type of people they were wining and dining. And they found p.o.r.no in Marcos's room. It's like if somebody went through your apartment and wrote about it (laughs) (laughs) in in The New York Times The New York Times. "This Is Your Apartment." That's a good TV show. "Here are two cups that were apparently taken from the Plaza Hotel. Tell us about them." They could do it in Russia. In Russia they could really really do it. "So, you like wearing ladies' perfume, Mr. Warhol?" do it. "So, you like wearing ladies' perfume, Mr. Warhol?"

Ran into Billy Boy at the flea market buying old bottles of Schiaparelli and Chanel perfume in his powder-green coat. He really puts out the money and just pays whatever they say, he spent about $1,000 I think. He has a good eye, he can really pick out the good stuff.

Thursday, March 13, 1986 It was raining hard. Paige and I went over to the Paris Theater and saw Room with a View Room with a View. Nothing really happens, an Out of Africa-type Out of Africa-type thing, but it's beautiful. Good views of Florence. thing, but it's beautiful. Good views of Florence.

Friday, March 14, 1986 Gee, these artists who're living the life of Riley. Keith's just off in Brazil and I hear Fischl's getting $100,000 a canvas now, more than Schnabel.

I was picked up by Steven Greenberg in his limo and we went over to Stuart Pivar's for an advertising dinner. And Paige was in her Chinese robe so Stuart put his on and then Dennis Smith the ex-fireman who wrote a bestselling book put on a caballero caballero hat with a rose in his teeth and he's Irish, so he was singing and getting ready for St. Patrick's Day and that was unusual, it was fun. Then he mentioned having five kids, and I don't know what happened to the wife, so Paige had been interested, but when she heard "five kids" that was too much. But he's really great, very intelligent. He's now looking for a hostess. hat with a rose in his teeth and he's Irish, so he was singing and getting ready for St. Patrick's Day and that was unusual, it was fun. Then he mentioned having five kids, and I don't know what happened to the wife, so Paige had been interested, but when she heard "five kids" that was too much. But he's really great, very intelligent. He's now looking for a hostess.

Sunday, March 16, 1986 I went to church. Adolfo was in the last row. Gave the doorman at one of the buildings on the way an Interview Interview, and he was black and I always feel good giving black people the magazine when it's a black cover like the Grace Jones issue and the Richard Pryor one this time.

And the Marcoses are still all in the news. Now they've found 3,000 black panties. And it's funny to hear a congressman say, "Why did she need so many panties?" I wish I had the shirt that the Marcos son once gave me right off his back a couple of years ago. And their Bulgari bill was for a million.

Tuesday, March 18, 1986 Arnold Schwarzenegger called and said the portraits of Maria were on again.

Paul Morrissey's doing movies with David Weisman now.

I b.u.mped my head yesterday and got dizzy. I think I might have got a mild concussion.

Then cabbed to meet Paige and Henri Bendel at a Chinese restaurant on 44th and U.N. Plaza (cab $5). Mr. Bendel owned Bendel's till he sold out in 1955. Now he just has the handmade shoe company, Belgium Shoes. He said he's lonely so I said why didn't he get a dog and he said that he had a beagle and then he was walking it on the leash and it went to the curb and a cab just ran it over on the leash. And he had to go back and tell his wife who was still alive that the dog was killed. He's from Louisiana.

Went home and watched Letterman Letterman and he had some good pet tricks on. and he had some good pet tricks on.

Wednesday, March 19, 1986 It was a beautiful day. I had a meeting with Martin Poll and I didn't know why. I walked over to 57th and Seventh Avenue to his office and he said, "We want to do your life story," and he started talking about the sixties and interweaving four stories, and I told him that a wonderful movie had already been made on the sixties, and that he should just remake it- The Magic Garden of Stanley Sweetheart The Magic Garden of Stanley Sweetheart-and he said, "I made that movie." I completely forgot that he had. I didn't know that. He discovered Don Johnson. He was going to use Richard Thomas and then changed to Don Johnson. So then I mentioned money and he said, "Money? Money? What money? It's publicity for you." So I told him he should talk to Fred, that what he should do is just buy the rights to Popism Popism and that we'd be consultants on the movie. PH would do the script. And then he started talking about Viva and Joe Dallesandro and everything and I ran out of there (newspapers $2, cab $6). and that we'd be consultants on the movie. PH would do the script. And then he started talking about Viva and Joe Dallesandro and everything and I ran out of there (newspapers $2, cab $6).

Went to Walter Stait's dinner party on East 57th Street (cab $6). Then took Sam to Serendipity. Had a hot fudge sundae and the sugar made me tip so much. I felt generous ($25).

Got home, turned on Letterman Letterman and saw the show they wanted me to be the guest on, the one with the monkey with the camera, and they had Dr. Ruth Westheimer on. Wouldn't it be funny if Dr. Ruth didn't really have an accent? and saw the show they wanted me to be the guest on, the one with the monkey with the camera, and they had Dr. Ruth Westheimer on. Wouldn't it be funny if Dr. Ruth didn't really have an accent?

Brigid just called and said that at A.A. everybody in the office was there-Don Munroe, and Yoko Ono's maid who I like, and Kate Harrington and Sue Etkin and no wonder nothing gets done-we have a bunch of drunks working for us.

When I called the office yesterday and asked Michael Walsh for a phone number from the Rolodex he was gone two minutes and came back and told me my own number! own number! So I screamed, and he said, "Oh sorry, I guess hearing your name made me look up your number." So I screamed, and he said, "Oh sorry, I guess hearing your name made me look up your number."

Thursday, March 20, 1986 Si Newhouse came to the office and he's not sure about buying the Elvis and the Tuna Fish.

Monday, March 24, 1986 On the news they busted a p.o.r.no ring, and they were leading the Boy Scout master and the teacher out tied with rope. (laughs) (laughs) It was odd-looking. It was odd-looking.

Went home after dinner with Jean Michel and caught the Academy Awards. Saw Geraldine Page saying she deserved it, and all those old ladies coming out in eight yards of material-Debbie Reynolds and Cyd Charisse and June Allyson and Ann Miller and Kathryn Grayson.

Tuesday, March 25, 1986 Maria Shriver called and postponed until next week because she said she'd broken four toes.

Went to the Grand Hyatt to the Emmys with Keith. I told them I didn't want to say any lines, so they announced I had laryngitis and that's why I wasn't saying anything. But when they announced that, some people laughed-they knew. And then this guy who said he was the doctor of the Emmys came and said he'd fix my laryngitis, so I explained I didn't really have any.

After this thing was over, walked over to the office and there was a lunch going on. Mrs. de Menil was with Iolas there, and Fred gave them a tour and he got mad at me because I wasn't with her enough. Iolas's bags were lost but he says he loves shopping at Alexander's to replace the things.

Wednesday, March 26, 1986 Oh, these commercials on TV for the Enquirer Enquirer. Carroll Baker's doing them this week talking about the book she just wrote about her experiences in Africa in 1970. I honestly think it's made up. She probably read a nature book and said those things happened to her. Who would know? She talks about being so hungry she bit off a lizard's head and sucked out the fluid. But I mean, maybe she was giving a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b in a tent and a lizard walked by and she fantasized.

I'd invited Sam to the opening of the Fellini movie Fred and Ginger Fred and Ginger at MOMA. I get so involved with Sam, you can waste a whole day with somebody and their dumb little problems. at MOMA. I get so involved with Sam, you can waste a whole day with somebody and their dumb little problems.

And then Fred said, "Why am I working here if you're not going to be a good artist!" He doesn't like my work. And I told him that if I did this other stuff, the young kids do it better. Really, what is life about? You get sick and die. That's it. So you've just got to keep busy.

We got to the museum really early. And after it was over, Fellini was being photographed and he saw me and he was great, he called me over and kissed me on both cheeks and introduced me to his wife who really looks good in person.

Thursday, March 27, 1986 Went to Le Cirque to meet Paige and Gael and someone from Young & Rubicam for dinner and Claire Trevor came in with Donald Brooks and she told me I was wonderful and I told her she was and she said, "No, you're more wonderful," and I said no, she was. And she ate like Paulette and those women-she had shad roe with three strips of bacon and cigarettes and vanilla ice cream. Then Keith Haring was having a party for his TV segment on 20/20 20/20 (cab $6). We got there just as it was over. (cab $6). We got there just as it was over.

Sunday, March 30, 1986 Easter Sunday. Woke up and it was a beautiful day again. Paige called and said she'd be ready at 12:30 and then Wilfredo called-I'd asked him to come, too. We were going up to help serve the Easter meal to the poor people at the Church of the Heavenly Rest at 90th and Fifth Avenue. Picked up Paige and she said Stephen Sprouse was in the subway on his way (cab $3). It turned out we were really needed because if we hadn't been there they wouldn't have had enough helpers. I never made eye contact with the people, I looked sideways and up and down. It went fine. And people were stocking up with oranges and apples and Easter eggs and with shopping bags, taking stuff, and some people were collecting cups and even plastic knives and forks.

And let's see what else ... a lady had her teeth in a napkin and the guy went to clear it away and she got excited. It was a lot of hard work. Wilfredo was good, he handed out the ham, he worked hard. They used six of those restaurant urns of coffee. And the four of us prayed and we saw a lady bring in a potted plant and trade it in for one of the better ones there. A lot of the ladies looked like my mother. A man looked like something from Arabian Nights Arabian Nights, all wrapped up. It was fun, had a good time. Outside it was sunny and bright and we ran out.

And James Cagney died.

Monday, March 31, 1986 It's funny but after seeing Dr. Ruth in person at the Emmys she doesn't look like she seems on TV. The magic of TV is what makes her look crunchy. In person she's just a normal person you want to kick around.

Cabbed to the West Side ($3) and Dr. Linda Li. She was messing up my wig, my brain wasn't functioning. I don't know what she does, but you do feel better when you get out of there (phone $2).

The Folk Art Museum kicked me off the board of trustees! It was ridiculous anyway, but I mean, they never even bothered to send me a notification! notification!.

Tuesday, April 1, 1986 Stuart and I went up to see Rock Hudson's exhibit at the William Doyle Gallery (cab $3). And the whole thing was so nelly, not one good thing. You'd like to think that a big brute movie star would have had great fifties stuff, like maybe big rugged Knoll pieces, but it was just comfortable nelly junk from his New York apartment. There was only one sort of nice thing, a wooden box that was so ugly and Elizabeth Taylor had written on it.

Fran Lebowitz came by to pick up some art that Bob Colacello promised her when she was writing for Interview Interview. She came in her beige Marathon Checker cab and she drove off with it.

Thursday, April 3, 1986 Went right downtown because Maria Shriver was coming at 11:00 (cab $5). And she's really pretty and she took good pictures. She's a little heavy on the bottom. She was cute, she talked a lot.

Paige and I wanted chocolate on the way home so we stopped at Neuchatel, and they gave us free quarter-pound bags and we just walked up Madison eating it. Dr. Li gave Paige some flower-water stuff and after she eats the candy she's supposed to say, "I love what I just did, but I won't do it again," and then drink the purple Flowers of Providence.

Friday, April 4, 1986 Rupert made some printing mistakes. He has a new boyfriend who goes to Princeton and this one looks exactly like him. Exactly. It's so odd. Elizabeth Saltzman invited us to a surprise birthday party for Wilfredo out in Coney Island. She had an All-City cab pick us up.

It was kind of exciting out there at this place called Carolina's, a Mafia-style place. Spaghetti. Coney Island was closed up and rainy. It was just Wilfredo and Benjamin in drag and Kate Harrington. The Italian owner found out who I was and got autographs. Then the lights went out, totally, and then they came in with a lighted birthday cake singing "Happy Birthday" and these big butch fifty-year-old waiters came in, and Wilfredo groaned and resigned himself and braced for it, and then we waited and-they went right by us to another table! (laughs) (laughs) It was so shocking. It was like when you think you're getting an Academy Award and it goes to somebody else. It was worth the whole evening. It was just great. We couldn't believe it. And then later on they did come for Wilfredo. It was so shocking. It was like when you think you're getting an Academy Award and it goes to somebody else. It was worth the whole evening. It was just great. We couldn't believe it. And then later on they did come for Wilfredo.

Sunday, April 6, 1986 Jean Michel was picking me up to go see Miles Davis at the Beacon and it was rainy and cold, and I curled up and watched TV for a while, and ate some garlic and then he called and said to meet him over there (cab $4). His cab arrived after mine and he had Glenn O'Brien with him and some other people. He and Glenn are friends again. B.B. King played first and he's just great. And then Miles Davis came out, blond, in gold lame, and he plays really terrific music. High heels. Then we went to Odeon for dinner.