Sat.u.r.day, May 23, 1981- East Falmouth We got up around 11:00 and Peter made apple pancakes, applejacks, for breakfast and we had real maple syrup and bacon. Then we got in the car and went to the flea market in Mashpee. Went to the Thornton Burgess Museum-he wrote Peter Cottontail Peter Cottontail-and fed the swans and ducks with Wonder Bread that Christopher bought. Then we went and had lunch at the fried-clam place at Sandy Neck, and we all had fried clams and fried fish and lots of ketchup and milkshakes and frappes ($35 including tip). Then we drove home.

Peter and I went into another room to talk and while we were doing that we heard all this commotion in the back room and when we went in, there was a big water-pistol fight. n.o.body wanted to give up until finally Christopher did give up because he was cornered in the bathroom. Sh.e.l.ly and Jon were winning and they were sneaks. Then Christopher went up to Jon and slapped him right in the face, and it was so dramatic, we just couldn't believe it, and he just stood there taking it, but he said it didn't hurt, that he thought it was all in fun. And he told me that he has to win at everything, that he has to decide what's right and what's not right, and that if he wants it he gets it and if he doesn't want it he doesn't care, but he has to decide he wants it and that's all he wants. When Chris slapped him I think he really liked it. I think he really does want to get slapped. And then it all calmed down.

Sunday, May 24, 1981-East Falmouth We went to Falmouth Harbor where we chartered that 70' boat I liked. It took an hour to get over to Martha's Vineyard. And Jon was wearing the set of pearls I gave him that go down to the ground and it looked sort of beautiful on him, he looked like a deep-sea fisherman. We arrived at Oak Bluff where all the gingerbread houses are, and we photographed a wedding. The girl was Irish marrying a guy from South America. Then we drove to Edgartown. We were very hungry. We went across the street to the Colonial Inn and the people there went and got their copies of Popisw Popisw and and Interview Interview for autographs and I signed them. And one kid even came up with the Tate Gallery poster of my Marilyn (lunch $120). And then we took the ferry over to Chappaquidd.i.c.k with the car ($5). And we photographed a guy giving us his whole story on where it happened and how it happened and why he didn't believe it. We retraced all the steps to see if Ted Kennedy was really guilty of this accident and we came to the conclusion that he was. for autographs and I signed them. And one kid even came up with the Tate Gallery poster of my Marilyn (lunch $120). And then we took the ferry over to Chappaquidd.i.c.k with the car ($5). And we photographed a guy giving us his whole story on where it happened and how it happened and why he didn't believe it. We retraced all the steps to see if Ted Kennedy was really guilty of this accident and we came to the conclusion that he was.

When we got home Jon called his family in Amesbury and then he said his grandfather had had a stroke and his dog had had a relapse so that instead of going back with us to New York, he wanted us to drop him off in Amesbury.

Monday, May 25, 1981-East Falmouth-New York Took the plane ride back from Hyannis to LaGuardia. Everyone was eating peanuts and popcorn, and all of a sudden the plane actually really flipped over and I didn't care if we would have killed ourselves, because I was so unhappy. I'd thought that this trip would bring some progress with Jon, but it didn't. He'd left us to go see his family who really adore him. Oh, but from now on I can't talk personally about Jon to the Diary because when I told him I did, he got mad and told me not to ever do it again, that if I ever put anything personal about him in the Diary he'd stop seeing me. So from now on, it'll just be the business angle in the Diary-he'll just be a person who works for Paramount Pictures who I'm trying to do scripts and movies with.

I gave a tip to the airplane driver ($100). And tipped the limousine driver ($20).

Got a call from Tina Chow inviting me to a party for David Bailey and his wife Marie. It turned out it was actually a big party. Marie is really beautiful, she had on one of those slit dresses. Eric Boman and Peter Schlesinger were there. I told everybody how I was a male model now, I was trying to hustle work. Jerry Hall came over and told how to suck c.o.c.k and lick p.u.s.s.y and she told some jokes and it was fun, and then David started telling jokes. Paloma Pica.s.so was there and she gave me a big kiss.

Tuesday, May 26, 1981 Doria Reagan was typing letters for Bob and I didn't even recognize her, I was walking by. She was in a T-shirt and shorts, and she looked cute. I invited her in for the lunch but she said she had too much work to do, she's working four hours a day-she gets things done very quickly.

I went over to 927 Fifth Avenue to the Zilkhas' dinner for the people who own Dior. It was sweet of Cecile Zilkha to invite me because it was really a heavy-duty dinner. Happy Rockefeller was happy to see me. I should have talked to her a lot. Annette Reed had a fifty-carat sapphire on a diamond necklace that was about two inches wide. She was dressed beautifully. She's a sister of the Sophie Englehard girl who's Jane Holzer's friend, the one who's with the black football player who I met in Washington. The ladies were all statuesque. Dina Merrill was with her husband Cliff Robertson. Alex Liberman was there with his wife, Tatiana. Carolina Herrera was there, and I'd brought the new issue of Interview Interview and she stole it because her picture was in it. and she stole it because her picture was in it.

All the fairies were there. And it was old-fashioned kind of living. If this style of living goes on, it will be incredible. How can it last? The first course was crab meat in tomato aspic and you don't see things like that anymore. And then the chicken with fresh cranberries and rice with nuts, and chocolate mousse with hard crumbled cake, and good wine all served so beautifully. And flower arrangements up to the ceiling. Bill Bla.s.s was there and Pat Buckley in Bill Bla.s.s. But everybody looked so old. But then, I guess, I fit in. But it's funny they would think to invite me. I'm looking very good now, I could have any of these old bags. I should go after Yoko Ono but I'd probably do it at the wrong time-just when she'd just found somebody I'd call her.

I got home to no phone call from California.

Wednesday, May 27, 1981 I worked on some Lynn Revson portraits.

I finally got a call from Jon in California. I didn't think I'd ever get another one, but I decided we might as well be friendly, it's easier, so we talked about the weather.

Zoli told me how when he first came to New York he actually lived on the roof of Chris Makos's building on Waverly and 11th all one summer because he didn't have any money. There was a way to get onto the roof and there was a good sleeping chair up there.

Friday, May 29, 1981 I called Halston and told him that I'd like to save my invitation out to Montauk for another time because I had to work on paintings this weekend.

Maura Moynihan called and said she loved her Interview Interview cover, that it didn't look anything like her. It's one of the best covers Richard Bernstein's ever done. Maura said that she has two boys she likes-one is straight and one is bi, and they're both in her band that she's just left, and she wants them both and they're both fighting over her and they're best friends. cover, that it didn't look anything like her. It's one of the best covers Richard Bernstein's ever done. Maura said that she has two boys she likes-one is straight and one is bi, and they're both in her band that she's just left, and she wants them both and they're both fighting over her and they're best friends.

Sat.u.r.day, May 30, 1981 I had a long philosophy talk with Brigid and we both decided that maybe time had pa.s.sed us by. When I saw myself in those home movies we took on the Cape last weekend I hated myself so much. Every simple thing I do looks strange. I have such a strange walk and a strange look. If I could only have been a peculiar comic in the movies, I would have looked like a puppet. But it's too late. What's wrong with me? I look at Vincent and Sh.e.l.ly and they they look normal. And I don't look good in cowboy boots anymore, I don't think. I think I'll get sneakers. I'll have Jay take me over to Paragon to get some. look normal. And I don't look good in cowboy boots anymore, I don't think. I think I'll get sneakers. I'll have Jay take me over to Paragon to get some.

Monday, June 1, 1981 Met with Marc Balet to show him the portrait of Trump Tower that I'm doing. Marc's arranged it so that the catalogue cover he's designing will be my painting and then the Trumps would wind up with this painting of their building. It's a great idea, isn't it?

Ronnie's going off to Basel to show his work at an art fair with Lucio Amelio.

I was taping Maura for dialogue for a Broadway show I want to do called Runaway Runaway so we went to the building where her two boyfriends live, and it's the most incredible place, it gave me ideas. It's unbelievable-sixty different rock bands are all in this one building and some nutty guy owns it. We went up three floors and I asked the boys to show me some other rooms in the building, and so they'd knock on a door and say something like, "What do you groove in?" and they'd say, "We're the Spikes," and then another door and it'd be "Bongo and the Bears." They all pay $480 a month for a really small place. I'm going to go back there and really study the building. so we went to the building where her two boyfriends live, and it's the most incredible place, it gave me ideas. It's unbelievable-sixty different rock bands are all in this one building and some nutty guy owns it. We went up three floors and I asked the boys to show me some other rooms in the building, and so they'd knock on a door and say something like, "What do you groove in?" and they'd say, "We're the Spikes," and then another door and it'd be "Bongo and the Bears." They all pay $480 a month for a really small place. I'm going to go back there and really study the building. Runaway Runaway can be in this building and it'll be the story of who the girl chooses, a love story. It's such a crazy place, you're in the hallway and there's nothing but noise. The bi boyfriend said that he would dump Maura if I could get him David Bowie, and I said I would try. can be in this building and it'll be the story of who the girl chooses, a love story. It's such a crazy place, you're in the hallway and there's nothing but noise. The bi boyfriend said that he would dump Maura if I could get him David Bowie, and I said I would try.

Maura lives at Louise Westergaard's, who produces with Sondra Gilman-she takes care of the kids, and in return she gets to live there. And she had to get up early in the morning to get them off to school, so we went home. The straight boyfriend asked Maura if it was okay to go home with her, and she said yes. They kiss every minute and they kiss beautifully, with their hands.

Tuesday, June 2, 1981 Got up early. Chris was picking me up to go to the Whitney show of that artist who we've known for a while, the one influenced by me who does the billboardlike Polaroids of faces-I can't think of his name ... Chuck Close.

And then we also went to look at the Guglielmi thing downstairs. His wife could never sell his paintings, and now here he is, at the Whitney with a big show. I wanted to know if she was still alive, and I was going to ask somebody who worked there and I ended up giving out Interviews Interviews instead. She used to have me to dinner in the fifties, she was kind of generous. She lived in the Cafe des Artistes. instead. She used to have me to dinner in the fifties, she was kind of generous. She lived in the Cafe des Artistes.

And then we looked at the forties show and then you think how much better Chuck Close is than the painters in that show.

Then we went over to the Port Authority Bus Terminal (cab $6). They're still renovating over there. We went into Walgreen's to photograph some of the real people and then we asked the waitress if we could take pictures and she went to ask the manager and he said yes, if we didn't show the name "Walgreen's." But all we wanted to photograph was this waitress and she had Walgreen's written all over her (Walgreen's $7).

Thursday, June 4, 1981 I think I got a cold from drinking a really cold daiquiri. I can feel it, it pierced me.

I called California and was told he was too busy to talk.

Got ready to go right in the neighborhood to the party at Bob Guccione's house for Roy Cohn. Roy was great, I took pictures. I want to be friends with him, but distant distant friends. And there was a Bunny-a Pet-there, and I didn't know what to say to her so I told her she had a great body. Then LeRoy Neiman came over and he was thrilled that we're going to have a friends. And there was a Bunny-a Pet-there, and I didn't know what to say to her so I told her she had a great body. Then LeRoy Neiman came over and he was thrilled that we're going to have a (laughs) (laughs) one-man show together and I just-I mean-well, Philip Morris gave this guy some money to do a show of Neiman and me together. Anyway, I won't go to it. I talked to LeRoy about why does Bob Guccione dress like such a fairy with all the jewelry. He had Rembrandts and Mr. Newhouse, Clyde, told me they were reproductions, and he also had Chagalls and Pica.s.sos so I don't know if they were reproductions, too. The house has a swimming pool. one-man show together and I just-I mean-well, Philip Morris gave this guy some money to do a show of Neiman and me together. Anyway, I won't go to it. I talked to LeRoy about why does Bob Guccione dress like such a fairy with all the jewelry. He had Rembrandts and Mr. Newhouse, Clyde, told me they were reproductions, and he also had Chagalls and Pica.s.sos so I don't know if they were reproductions, too. The house has a swimming pool.

And what I forgot to say is the other night I had a blackout like I used to have when I was little. At first I thought it was because of flash bulbs, but there were no flash bulbs really right there, and it got me so scared that I'm having a brain tumor or that I'm getting the Dark Victory Dark Victory disease. disease.

Sat.u.r.day, June 6, 1981 I'm really getting to hate living with antiques, they make you look like the place. They really do.

Tuesday, June 9, 1981 Called Doc c.o.x's office and asked Rosemary if I could get a B-12 shot before going to Seattle for my show there (cab $3). Rosemary was going to give me a pneumonia shot, it's so you don't get colds and things in your chest. When I'd told them before that I was losing weight they'd told me I should have this shot, but I didn't think I really had to, I didn't take it seriously. I had a fever of 100 and Rosemary got mad and said I might have pneumonia and told me to go right home and get into bed and stay there for two days or else I couldn't go to Seattle. Got a chest X-ray. So I went home and got into bed although I felt okay.

Fred had to come up with papers so I could send my IRS things out. I actually might not go to Seattle. The Doc said I had to have another chest X-ray on Thursday. I've always had this theory that I can walk through everything, but it's not working.

Wednesday, June 10, 1981 Archie's really acting sick and I don't know if it's because he's worried about me because I'm home, or if he's sick because he wishes I'd get out of the house. Well, my philosophy is, Life is not worth living if you're not healthy, and health is wealth-it's better than money and companionship and love and everything else.

I haven't said that Lynn Revson called and said she loved the portrait but that her cheekbones looked too fat. I knew she'd be trouble.

Got a call from Paramount Pictures again. He's coming to New York on Friday, just when I'm leaving.

Thursday, June 11, 1981 Got up and didn't have a fever. Had an appointment with Doc c.o.x (cab $3). He took X-rays, the infection was still there. He said not to go to Seattle and California. I was depressed the whole day.

Friday, June 12, 1981 The pneumonia was on the mend. The Doc told me I could go out but that I should be careful.

Jon was back in town and he said he thought I was going away so he'd made plans to go away for the weekend and so I guess my whole relationship's fallen apart. He said he'd call me and he didn't, which was mean. I have to pull myself together and go on. I have to get a whole new philosophy. I don't know what to do. I watched Urban Cowboy Urban Cowboy, and John Travolta just dances so beautifully. It was a really good movie. A Paramount movie, so that made me think more about Jon and I felt worse. I cried myself to sleep.

Now I'm sure I got the pneumonia from that cold daiquiri I drank. And probably if I hadn't gone to the doctor I wouldn't have known I had it and I would have gotten over it. I have a vaporizer in my room.

Sat.u.r.day, June 13, 1981 Had a horrible day, so depressed. I decided I would explode if I didn't get out of the house and I wanted to go to work.

I was meeting Rupert at the office but he wasn't there yet, so I went in and pressed the elevator b.u.t.ton and the elevator was right there on the first floor and the doors opened and standing in the elevator were two Rastafarians. A man and a woman. It was so strange. So I backed away and went outside and Rupert finally came and then he went in and told them to leave and they just left. I guess they were stoned. They were just standing there like mannequins.

Sunday, June 14, 1981 This day was better and not so depressing. I decided to stay home next to the vaporizer and watch TV. I decided to watch cable TV and see what a Neil Simon movie is like and so I watched Chapter Two Chapter Two and it happened to hit the spot. I liked it a lot. The lines are really funny. Then the phone rang and it was Jon calling as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't gone away for the weekend and not called once. and it happened to hit the spot. I liked it a lot. The lines are really funny. Then the phone rang and it was Jon calling as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't gone away for the weekend and not called once.

Monday, June 15, 1981 When I got to the office Robyn was just so out of it. He's a sweet kid, but his mind's not on his work. Jay Shriver's a good worker, though, and you can trust him.

Richard Weisman called and said that Margaret Trudeau was in town and would I like to have dinner. Jon called and I invited him and he said it would be fun to meet Margaret Trudeau. Went to meet everyone at George Martin's restaurant at 9:10. Margaret arrived and she was a little heavier. I think she should go back to her thin look, because now she looks a little older. She was with Bruce Nevins who used to say he'd give us Perrier ads, but he didn't. And George Martin came over and it was so exciting, he introduced me to Rick Cerone who said, "I want you to do my portrait." He was really nice.

Bianca was there, too and finally, for once, Jon wasn't complaining that he had to go home to work. So finally I said that I was tired and had to rest so we left.

Tuesday, June 16, 1981 Got up early, went to a 10:30 appointment with Doc c.o.x. I was feeling fine, took my own temperature, and it was normal. The Doc said the pneumonia had completely cleared up.

Then I went to meet Jon at Citibank on the corner of Park and 57th, where he was getting a loan. It used to be my bank and it still is, sort of, because I have a safety-deposit box there which they haven't sent me any notices about for a long time. I should see about it. I think it has my deed to the house on Lexington and 89th Street. When I used to go to this bank there was just a teller, and now there's lines around the block.

Ran into Pat York. Ran into Gene Simmons of Kiss. Ran into an old rep of mine.

Eva from Stern Stern sent over the article she wrote and I just couldn't believe it. I mean, I poured out my heart to her and she wrote the kind of rehashed article, you know-"Father died in coal mines/Warhola/Carnegie Tech"-and I poured out my sent over the article she wrote and I just couldn't believe it. I mean, I poured out my heart to her and she wrote the kind of rehashed article, you know-"Father died in coal mines/Warhola/Carnegie Tech"-and I poured out my heart heart to her. I actually gave her a good interview because she kept saying she wanted to do something really to her. I actually gave her a good interview because she kept saying she wanted to do something really different different. I mean I even told toldher that my father was a construction worker, and still-"Father died in coal mines." I mean, I only gave it because I liked the guy who has Stern Stern who was so nice to us in Munich. The one who's doing the liquor that'll last till the year 2000. And she didn't put in any of the who was so nice to us in Munich. The one who's doing the liquor that'll last till the year 2000. And she didn't put in any of the young young things that we did. The modern things. I mean, we had that great night at the Ritz which was really interesting where she told the kid I was an Andy Warhol double-and she didn't even things that we did. The modern things. I mean, we had that great night at the Ritz which was really interesting where she told the kid I was an Andy Warhol double-and she didn't even use use that. that.

I went to see Janet Sartin and confessed that her treatments weren't working, that I had eighteen pimples and that I'd gone back to my Orentreich methods because he has that stuff that dries them up overnight.

Did some Gun drawings and Gun paintings.

Oh, and I heard that Jed's sister Susan is marrying Mel Brooks's son! I mean if that spoiled girl lands on Easy Street I just won't be able to stand it.

Wednesday, June 17, 1981 Fred is going off to Europe and I don't know why. He should be staying in town, seeing to business. But for some reason he thinks he's part of the London scene. For some reason he identifies with all those English kids who sponge off him. And we never get work from England from any of them. I don't know.

And Tom Sullivan died. At twenty-four. His heart failed.

John Reinhold invited us over for drinks to see his Michael Graves apartment. So we went over there and it used to be big rooms and Michael Graves turned it into a railroad flat. Really, if you've ever seen a cold-water flat, that's what this looked like. Eighteen million columns and doors that open and things that swing out and a million details, and so many different colors, it was ridiculous. I mean, it'll probably photograph well, they can make it look really big, but he took these great Robert Stern rooms and made three rooms and eight closets out of it. I mean it's really detailed, and you can't believe how detailed, but it just-I don't know what it's supposed to mean. I got tired. Went home at 11:30, had some codeine cough medicine and went to bed.

Thursday, June 18, 1981 Went over to Tiffany's. Paloma's jewelry looks good, actually. There's nothing different about it, but she does have a look. Elsa's stuff is selling. Margaret Truman's son who we met once was selling envelopes there.

Finally talked to Jon. He said it would be okay for me to come over while he packed to go to Robert Redford's Sundance Foundation. So then I got a brainstorm and I went to Cote Basque in the Olympic Tower and got lunches ($25). Cabbed to Jon's ($3). Watched him pack and he threw a tantrum because his Armani pants were one inch too small. I couldn't believe it. I decided to water his plants. He was getting a 4:30 plane so I dropped him at the Gulf + Western building and went down to the office (cab $6).

I haven't had any liquor for a while and I feel wonderful. But then, I don't know, maybe I'm high on antibiotics. I don't know what's making me feel good.

Went to the Kennedy dinner at the Metropolitan Club. Caroline Kennedy came over and she was so much fun. And Ted Kennedy came over and he was adorable. Caroline was next to a Chinese surgeon who couldn't see, but they said he was still operating. His wife was cutting his food for him.

Tip O'Neill gave a speech, he was good. He said a twenty-minute joke which actually wasn't funny, but it was great delivery. And Bill Bradley was there, he said he had Rauschenberg and me both on his walls.

Senator Moynihan's losing weight, he was great, adorable. This was a $1,000-a-plate dinner. They had folk dancing and Irish jigs. Then this Indian called Ha.s.sim wanted to dance with Caroline and she turned him down and then he said, "Well maybe you'll dance with my son," and he brought over this really great-looking son. The father said that in the early sixties he was a poet and that he'd come to the Factory and that I'd ignored him. I don't remember. Then Caroline got really interested in him because he was talking about magic things, you know, Harvard-style, like what a light bulb was before it was a light bulb. The guy's wife looked like me, but more refined. Very white skin. Like a Czechoslovakian beauty. I left and went home. I waited for a call from Jon and finally it came at 2:00 and then I could go to sleep.

Friday, June 19, 1981 Waited for a call from Utah from Jon. He called and he seemed really nice.

I'm not drinking and it feels so great, but I've got to try to stop taking Valium. And I'm losing weight even though I'm eating, which scares me, because I don't know if it's because I'm not drinking or then maybe it's also because of the antibiotics. But then, I do like being thin. Although your resistance is lower. I guess you should lose it slowly over a year.

Sat.u.r.day, June 20, 1981 Fred should be around to take care of things instead of being in Europe. Fred really thinks he's English royalty, that's what it's become when he drinks. He identifies with them and I don't know why.

Chris Stein showed us some 1950 Weegee photos and they were just great. Weegee was the newspaper photographer who would get the first radio call to all the crimes and things, and so he would get those kinds of photos. Most of the pictures Chris bought were of a Greenwich Village party, and you'd think you were looking at pictures of a 1980s party-it looks just the same! It's funny that things really don't change. I mean, people think they change, but they don't. There were people wearing clothes with safety pins in them and two boys kissing in a window and a woman looking on, and then it was called "Living in Greenwich Village" and now it's called New Wave or something. But it's the same.

Sunday, June 21, 1981 I notice that my skin is better when I use the vaporizer, it keeps your nose clear and keeps your skin from drying out.

Jon called finally and said he was back from Utah, he was at the Gulf + Western building, and he gave me some song and dance about how he was too tired to come over, how he'd lost his luggage and his keys, but he had too much s.p.u.n.k and the song and dance was just too hard to handle-he said it was raining and it wasn't raining-and I just decided that that's the end of that. I went to bed with Valium.

Monday, June 22, 1981 The morning was just a disaster, I had the worst night's sleep ever. I shouldn't let these things happen to me, but ... And my weight loss is still scary. I mean, I like being thin, but it's scary.

Got a call from Jon and he apologized for not coming over and said that maybe we could work things out. We made a dinner date. He came over and we had a serious talk. He was in his running suit. We went to Le Relais, and they didn't mind that he was dressed that way. We sat down next to Edmund Gaultney. Then Rita Lachman came over with a Xerox of her invitation to the Prince Charles-Lady Diana wedding. Bob said she keeps the original in a vault. I just know they're going to disinvite her-say it was a mistake or something (dinner $59). If you don't drink, meals are so cheap.

I had an interesting talk with Jon. He said that I wasn't a serious enough person, that whenever he would say something significant I would make a light comment. So I'll have to try to be more serious. We talked about the movie business. He hates being caught between Barry Diller and the other boss.

I'm having a vaporizer on all the time now, I really think it's helping my skin.

Thursday, June 25, 1981 Had to sign the Gun painting for Chris Stein. Debbie Harry had given me some hair-removing wax. I'm using it all over and it really hurts.

Friday, June 26, 1981 I got my B-12 shot at Doc c.o.x's, only Rosemary missed and I got black and blue and a b.l.o.o.d.y shirt. On my way out a guy tried to pick me up. He said he was a record engineer and that he lived with a private investigator, and that the private investigator makes him get dressed up in drag sometimes for entrapment but that he was sick of it. I got away from him.

Then I got a call from Jon and we were supposed to go to a movie but he said he was on the verge of pneumonia, so he couldn't go out, so I said I'd bring the transcripts of my tapes of Maura Moynihan over for him to work on while he was in bed. We're trying to see how all this dialogue can be turned into a play. So I dropped Rupert off (cab $6). Went to Jon's and stayed there a couple of hours, and got to bed at 11:30.

Thursday, July 2, 1981 One of the B-52s came to the office and bought a s.p.a.cefruit portfolio. And he always thinks I'm abstract because I never know who he is. His name's Fred. He's a friend of Jay Shriver's girlfriend, Karen Moline.

I went to Mick and Jerry's party at Mr. Chow's (cab $7.50). I had fun chatting about abortions and s.e.x, but I have to get off those subjects and talk about politics or something, because when I read interviews that I do, the questions I ask are so awful. Stupid. Somebody besides me, if they could spend a day taping the person, would do a better job. I'm down on myself.

Sat.u.r.day, July 4, 1981 It rained and rained. It was the day of Averil's wedding to Tim Haydock. Suzie Frankfurt was getting us a limo out to Manha.s.set.

Got a call from Christopher on the Cape. Peter wants to stay up there all summer and work on his art and take care of the garden which hasn't been taken care of since his father died. If he stays up there all summer and makes art and then comes to the city and sells it in the winter, he thinks it's a good plan, which it is, but Christopher can't stand family life and Peter's mother's up there and even though she likes the idea of Chris and Peter being together, Christopher just doesn't like family life. His father's Greek and he lives with a Chinese guy and his mother's in California, she's Italian.

Went out to Manha.s.set. Averil looked beautiful. The Kennedy boy who traded ties with me at his brother's wedding was there, wearing the tie I'd traded him, so he was imaginative. He said he was always going to wear it to weddings. I should have worn his. Catherine was there, she was a bridesmaid and her hair's lighter, so I guess she dyed it.

The boys had to pick up the girls and take them to their seats, and they were (laughs) (laughs) about to take me until they realized I wasn't a girl, after all. They played "America the Beautiful" and everybody talked and yelled during the ceremony. Averil's whole family was there, so tall. And Fred was there in his morning coat. And Vincent and Sh.e.l.ly. And Rachel Ward was a bridesmaid, she just finished a movie with Burt Reynolds and now she's off to California to star opposite Steve Martin, so she's really made it. Jerry and Mick were there and Jerry's just dying to get married herself, you could feel the tension. about to take me until they realized I wasn't a girl, after all. They played "America the Beautiful" and everybody talked and yelled during the ceremony. Averil's whole family was there, so tall. And Fred was there in his morning coat. And Vincent and Sh.e.l.ly. And Rachel Ward was a bridesmaid, she just finished a movie with Burt Reynolds and now she's off to California to star opposite Steve Martin, so she's really made it. Jerry and Mick were there and Jerry's just dying to get married herself, you could feel the tension.

It was pouring rain and we went in the limo to the reception. It's such a great house. Talked to Catherine, she said Winnie wrote her a letter about Tom Sullivan dying that began: "Somebody who loved you so much is dead." Which was the exact same note she sent me. I don't know why Winnie's bothering, it was like a form letter.

And I was telling John Samuels-John Stockwell Stockwell-that I thought he would have made it as an actor by now, and he said, "Listen, I'm only twenty," and then I realized he was right! I keep thinking he's like twenty-five. He invited me to his father's house over on West Island in Glen Cove where a lot of people at the wedding were staying for the weekend. It's the ninety-room Morgan house and there's like thirty guests and one servant-Nona Summers was saying how she mentioned she'd like breakfast in bed and everybody laughed at her. And John Samuels told me how Michael Kennedy was swinging on the chandelier, but then when you go to his his house they say, "Don't touch that-it'll break!" and they're pointing at some cheap chair. He says that they save all their destruction for when they go visiting, that that's why they're always so rowdy wherever they go-because they're so careful around their own things. house they say, "Don't touch that-it'll break!" and they're pointing at some cheap chair. He says that they save all their destruction for when they go visiting, that that's why they're always so rowdy wherever they go-because they're so careful around their own things.

All the kids were dancing and swimming naked. At 8:30 it was still raining. Then we left to go home and a boy jumped in the car, sat in front, I don't know who he was. We gave him a ride home.

Sunday, July 5, 1981 At 12:00 Jon called and said he'd come over and we could go for a walk. He's gained ten pounds and I've lost weight. I'm back to 118 again. I should eat but I'll have to think about it, because I like being thin.

Wednesday, July 6, 1981 Victor is on jury duty. (laughs) (laughs) Can you picture that? Can you picture that?

Cabbed to 666 Fifth Avenue, to Halston's screening of Liza's movie Arthur Arthur ($7). I loved the movie. Dudley Moore is so funny. Afterwards Jon said it was a "slight movie" and I said, "But you were laughing all the way through," and he said, "Well, it's no ($7). I loved the movie. Dudley Moore is so funny. Afterwards Jon said it was a "slight movie" and I said, "But you were laughing all the way through," and he said, "Well, it's no Raiders." Raiders."

I don't know what's happening with Jon. Things just coast along. But I just have have to be in love now or I'll go crazy. I just have to feel something. And I'm really jealous because Jon has a family he loves and likes to see, but my family, when they try to visit me, I always say I'm out of town. Have I ever told the Diary that Jon is a twin? Isn't that sick? Just like Jed. And guess what the twin's name is: Jay. to be in love now or I'll go crazy. I just have to feel something. And I'm really jealous because Jon has a family he loves and likes to see, but my family, when they try to visit me, I always say I'm out of town. Have I ever told the Diary that Jon is a twin? Isn't that sick? Just like Jed. And guess what the twin's name is: Jay.

Wednesday, July 8, 1981 Jerry Hall came by with a Halston model named Carol, and models just all talk that baby talk, the girls and and the boys-you always know you're talking to a model. the boys-you always know you're talking to a model.

Got a cab and the driver was complaining because the woman wouldn't pay the surcharge that's supposed to go into effect after 8:00 because they said it was one minute before 8:00. He said it was two minutes after, but I showed him on my watch that it was one minute of. I've got to start getting receipts ($6). I carry my own pad.

Everyone tells me they like my hair this new way. I cut it every day. It's almost a crewcut. Fred said I dress like the kids I hang around with now, he likes it. I guess the preppie look really is big because of the Preppie Handbook Preppie Handbook. I'm wearing all of Jed's leftover clothes, the ones he left behind. I'm so skinny they fit me now.

Thursday, July 9, 1981 Halston invited me to Montauk, so I'm going at 6:30 on Friday with him on his rented plane. It's so nice to be invited to your own house by the person who's renting it-you feel at home and you're still making money. I invited Chris Makos and Jon.

Friday, July 10, 1981-New York-Montauk When we got to Halston's house he looked at Christopher and said, "Oh, are you you coming?" which put a damper on Chris and on me, too. I'd called Faye at Halston's and also Victor to say I was bringing him. coming?" which put a damper on Chris and on me, too. I'd called Faye at Halston's and also Victor to say I was bringing him.

There's a fruit stand that some local people set up at the entrance to our property and it looks so tacky. Otherwise everything's the same, it's so beautiful.

Sat.u.r.day, July 11, 1981- Montauk Went to the kitchen for coffee in the main house. Pat Cleveland was reading her Latin books and her mind-control books. I told her about the Silver Mind Control Place in New York that Jon said he went to. What's that name? Silva. Silva Mind Control. She was after Jon, showing him how to walk like you have a dime up your a.s.s and they did that well. She talks model talk. And she plays the flute. Only three notes. And she does yoga. All those things. She took off her clothes and they were nude sunbathing and f.u.c.king the rocks. She had a great body and Jon had one, too, and Chris is a little fat but it's a good body and I had on my white protector and I was safe except for my feet which got burned because I walked. Had lunch with Halston, he was adorable. I tried to read scripts. Took a walk on the beach over by d.i.c.k Cavett's. Jon said he had to go back to town but Chris and I convinced him to stay another night.

After dinner we watched Grease Grease and at 12:30 I decided to go to bed early. and at 12:30 I decided to go to bed early.

Sunday, July 12, 1981-Montauk-New York I was tired because I'd tried to sleep on my back last night so I wouldn't get wrinkles, but it's just too hard, I'll never do it. The plane came at 9:30 in the morning. It was a beautiful day, the ride took forty minutes and we flew over all the rich estates ($500 plus $20 tip).

Brigid called me, she'd just gotten out of the hospital. She has gallstones the size of grapenuts. She said they want to operate. I told her that they always always want to operate, that it's like doing portraits, you don't care who you do as long as you have someone to do. Because that's where they make their bucks. I told her to ask the doctor for painkilling stuff but she said she already did and they wouldn't give it to her, they said they needed to know if she had pain so when she started having it they could give her the operation. I think she should get it in September unless it's really hurting her. Life is just too hard. Called Rupert. want to operate, that it's like doing portraits, you don't care who you do as long as you have someone to do. Because that's where they make their bucks. I told her to ask the doctor for painkilling stuff but she said she already did and they wouldn't give it to her, they said they needed to know if she had pain so when she started having it they could give her the operation. I think she should get it in September unless it's really hurting her. Life is just too hard. Called Rupert.

Then I got the book of my old paintings out and saw all the clever things I used to do, and I just can't think of anything clever to do now. Maybe I should do Soup Cans again. Then Chris Makos called and said Schnabel was big, that abstract expressionism was coming back. And he said that he would bring a can over for me-Campbell's Won Ton soup that has the oriental lettering.

Called Jon and n.o.body answered. Saw a wonderful movie on TV, Coal Miner's Daughter Coal Miner's Daughter, and I wished I taped it. Oh, I wish I was married to a husband like that! Oh, he's so cute, so wonderful.

Monday, July 13, 1981 Did forty pushups.