Early in the forenoon of Tuesday the 1st of April 18--, there were indications in the neighborhood of Lord Dreddlington's house in Grosvenor Square, that an aristocratic wedding was about to be celebrated. Lady Cecilia's bridemaids, and one or two other ladies, the Duke and d.u.c.h.ess of Tantallan, and a few other persons of distinction, who were to accompany the party to church, made their appearance about eleven o'clock; and shortly afterwards dashed up Mr. t.i.tmouse's cab, in which sat that gentleman, enveloped in a magnificent green cloak, designed to conceal from vulgar observation the full splendor of his personal appearance. He had been engaged at his toilet since five o'clock that morning; and the results were not unworthy of the pains which had been taken to secure them. He wore a light-blue body coat, with velvet collar; tight black pantaloons tying round his ankles; gossamer white silk stockings, and dress-shoes, with small gold buckles.

His shirt was of snowy whiteness, and there glittered in the centre of it a very superb diamond brooch. He had two waistcoats, the under one a sky-blue satin, (only the roll visible,) the outer one of white satin, richly embroidered. A burnished gold guard-chain was disposed very gracefully over the exterior of his outer waistcoat. His hair was parted down the middle, and curled forward towards each temple, giving his countenance a very bold and striking expression. He wore white kid gloves, a glossy new hat, and held in his hand his agate-headed ebony cane. Though he tried to look at his ease, his face was rather pale, and his manner a little flurried. As for the bride--she had slept scarcely a quarter of an hour the whole night; and a glimpse at her countenance, in the gla.s.s, convinced her of the necessity of yielding to Annette's suggestions, and rouging a little. Her eyes told of the sleepless and agitated night she had pa.s.sed; and while dressing, she was twice forced to drink a little sal volatile and water. She was cold, and trembled.

When at length she had completed her toilet, what a figure did her gla.s.s present to her! The dress--rich white satin--a long and beautiful blonde lace veil--and a delicate wreath of orange blossoms, was that of a bride, certainly; but was the haggard countenance that of a bride? Miss Macspleuchan burst into tears at the sight. When, attended by her bridemaids and Miss Macspleuchan, she made her appearance in the drawing-room, the Earl of Dreddlington approached her, and saluted her with silent tenderness. Then t.i.tmouse came up, very pale, but with a would-be familiar air--"Hope you're quite well, dearest, this happy day," said he, and kissed her gloved hand. She made him no reply; stepped back, and sank upon the sofa; and presently the carriages were announced to be in readiness. The earl led her down, followed by her two bridemaids, and entered the first carriage, which then drove off to St.

George's Church; t.i.tmouse and the rest of the party immediately following. The ceremony was to be performed by the Bishop of Barnard Castle, an old friend, and indeed a distant relation of Lord Dreddlington's. Methinks I now see his portly and commanding figure, standing at the altar, with the little distinguished party before him; and hear his clear, sonorous voice reading the marriage-service.

t.i.tmouse was pale and flushed by turns, and looked frightened--behaving, however, with more sedateness than I should have expected. Lady Cecilia leaned, when she could, against the rails; and repeated her few allotted words in a voice scarcely audible. When t.i.tmouse fixed the ring upon her finger, she trembled and shed tears--averting her face from him, and at length concealing it entirely in her pocket-handkerchief. She looked, indeed, the image of misery. The Earl of Dreddlington maintained a countenance of rigid solemnity. At length the all-important ceremony came to a close; the necessary entries and signatures were made in the vestry, to which the wedding party followed the bishop; and then Mr.

t.i.tmouse, taking HIS WIFE'S arm within his own, led her out to the private door, where stood waiting for them the earl's chariot. He handed her into it, and popped in after her--a little crowd standing round to catch a glimpse of the distinguished bride and bridegroom; and they drove rapidly homeward. He sat in one corner, and she in the other; each so occupied with their own thoughts, that they uttered scarcely two words all the way.

A splendid _dejeuner a la fourchette_ was prepared, and a very brilliant party attended to pay their respects to the bride and bridegroom, and the Earl of Dreddlington; and about two o'clock the Lady Cecilia withdrew to prepare for her journey, which was to Poppleton Hall, her father's residence in Hertfordshire, where they were to spend their honeymoon. She had never shown so much emotion in her life as when she parted with Miss Macspleuchan and her bridemaids--being several times on the verge of hysterics. Mr. t.i.tmouse's travelling-chariot--a dashing chocolate-colored one, with four horses--stood at the door, her Ladyship's maid and his valet seated in the rumble. Some hundred people stood round to see the

"Happy, happy, happy pair,"

set off on their journey of happiness. The earl led down Lady Cecilia, followed by t.i.tmouse, who had exchanged his hat for a gaudy travelling-cap, with a gold band round it! Lady Cecilia, with drooping head and feeble step, suffered the earl, whom she kissed fervently, to place her in the chariot, when she burst into a flood of tears.

Then Mr. t.i.tmouse shook hands cordially with his distinguished father-in-law--popped into the chariot--the steps were doubled up--the door closed--the side-blinds were drawn down by Mr. t.i.tmouse; "All's right!" cried one of the servants, and away rolled the carriage-and-four, which, quickening its speed, was soon out of sight.

Lady Cecilia remained in a sort of stupor for some time, and sat silent and motionless in the corner of the chariot; but t.i.tmouse had now become lively enough, having had the benefit of some dozen gla.s.ses of champagne.

"Ah, my lovely gal--dearest gal of my heart!" he exclaimed fondly, at the same time kissing her cold cheeks, and putting his arm round her waist--"Now you're all my own! 'pon my soul, isn't it funny, though?

We're man and wife! By Jove, I never loved you so much as now, ducky!

eh?" Again he pressed his lips to her cold cheek.

"Don't, don't, I beg," said she, faintly, "I'm not well;" and she feebly tried to disengage herself from his rude and boisterous embrace: while her drooping head and ashy cheek fully corroborated the truth of her statement. In this state she continued for the whole of the first stage.

When they stopped to change horses, says t.i.tmouse, starting up--having very nearly dropped asleep--"Cicely, as you're so uncommon ill, hadn't you better have your maid in, and I'll sit on the box?--it would be a devilish deal more comfortable for you--eh?"

"Oh, I should feel _so_ obliged if you would, Mr. t.i.tmouse!" she replied faintly. It was done as she wished. t.i.tmouse enveloped himself in his cloak; and, having lit a cigar, mounted the box, and smoked all the way till they reached the Hall!

Gammon was one of those who had seen them set off on their auspicious journey. He contemplated them with deep interest and anxiety.

"Well," he exclaimed, walking away, with a deep sigh, when the carriage had got out of sight--"So far, _so good_: Heavens! the plot thickens, and the game is bold!"

Were you, oh unhappy Lady Cecilia! in entering into this ill-omened union, to be more pitied or despised? 'T was, alas! most _deliberately_ done; in fact, we have already had laid before us ample means of determining the question--but 't is a delicate and painful one, and had perhaps be better left alone.

They spent about a fortnight at Poppleton Hall, and then went on to Yatton; and if the reader be at all curious to know how MR. AND LADY CECILIA t.i.tMOUSE commenced their matrimonial career, I am able, in some measure, to gratify him, by the sight of a letter addressed by the Lady Cecilia, some time afterwards, to one of her confidential friends. 'T is melancholy enough, with, in addition, all the feebleness and dulness which might have been expected from one of her Ladyship's temperament and capacity; yet, methinks, may it suggest topics of instructive reflection.

"YATTON, _28th April 18--_.

"DEAR BLANCHE--

... "Fate should have something pleasant in store for me, since it has made me most unhappy now, but it is some consolation that I took this step purely to please my papa, who seemed to think that it was a thing that _ought_ to be done: You know he always fretted himself greatly about the division of the family interests, and so on; and when he proposed to me this truly unhappy alliance, _I_ supposed it was my duty to comply, as indeed he said it was. I am sure but for this I should never have dreamed of such a thing as doing what I did, for if, by the way, fate chose us to come together, it ought surely to have fitted us to each other; but really, dear Blanche, (_entre nous_) you cannot _think_ what a _creature it is_. He is always smoking cigars, &c., and he by that means not only carries the nasty odor of the smoke about him everywhere, but also in spite of all I can do, when we come together in the carriage (which is not often) and at meals, he communicates the odious smell to my clothes--and Annette wastes a fortune in eau-de-cologne to scatter over my dresses and her own too, and he has very nasty habits besides, namely, picking his teeth, (often at dinner,) eating with his knife, &c. &c., and he is continually running his fingers through his horrid hair, to curl it, and carries a comb with him, and several times has combed his hair in the carriage just before we got out at the door of the place we were to dine at, and he always takes too much wine, and comes up the very last to the drawing-room, and sometimes in _such a state_. I am resolved I will never come home with him from dinner again, even if I ever go out together with him. I do believe the wretch has been guilty of some impudence to Annette, for the girl always colors when I mention his name, and looks confused and angry, but of course I cannot ask her. And he is such a horrid _liar_ there is no believing a word he says, he is always saying that he might if he had chosen marry Lady This and Lady That, and says Miss Aubrey was dying to have him (I wish, dear B., she _had_, instead of myself, she would have been welcome for me, to return and become mistress of Yatton again)--by the way, it certainly is a truly delightful spot, quite old-fashioned and all that and delightful grounds about it, but it seems like a nunnery to me, I am so unhappy and no one seems anxious to come to see me, though there are the ----'s, and the ----'s, and ----'s within an hour or two's drive of us, but how can you wonder? for if you only saw the sort of people that come here, such horrid wretches, a Unitarian parson and his vulgar wife and daughter and a low apothecary and auctioneer and so on, which he says is necessary (forsooth) to keep up his interest in the borough. Then he goes on in such a shameful and unfeeling and disrespectful way before the vicar (Dr. Tatham, a very nice person, who I am sure, by his looks, _feels for me_) that Dr. T. will scarcely ever come near us under one pretence or another. I am sorry to tell you Mr. t.i.tmouse has no more _sense of religion_ than a cat or a dog, and I understand he has left a great many of his election bills unpaid (so that he is very unpopular) and positively, dear Blanche! the diamond spray the creature bought me turns out to be only _paste_!! He never goes to church, and has got up one or two dog-fights in the village, and he is hated by the tenants, for he is always raising their rents. I forgot to mention by the way he had the monstrous a.s.surance one morning to _open my letters_!--and said he had a right to do so, with his own wife, for we were one (I hate to write it) so I have had a letter-bag of my own which is always delivered into my own room. Oh Heavens! the idea of his succeeding to the barony! but to be sure you have no notion how hard he lives; (and _entre nous_ the other day the doctor was called in to him and had to put leeches on his head, and certainly (_entre nous, dearest_ B.,) I understand such things sometimes do often lead to very _sad results_, but however he certainly does seem better now.) My papa knows nothing of all this yet, but he soon must, and I am confident a _separation_ must ensue, or I shall die, or go mad. Oh how thankful I should be!...

But I could fill two or three sheets more in this way, and yet I have not told you a hundredth part of his _gaucheries_, but really you must be quite sick of hearing of them. If he will but leave me here when he goes up to town, you will surely pay me your promised visit--and I will tell you many more miserable things. In the mean while, oh dearest B., how I envy you being single, and wish I were so again!--_Be sure_ you burn this when you have read it--and believe me, your unhappy,

"CECILIA.

"P. S. Of course I shall not ask him for one of his ridiculous franks, I never do; and as your brother is not with you, you must not grumble at paying the postage of this long letter.

"THE LADY BLANCHE LEWISHAM."

A dull and phlegmatic disposition, like that of Lady Cecilia, must have been roused and stung indeed, before she could have attained to such bitterness of expression as is occasionally to be met with in the above communication. Though it shadows forth, with painful distinctness, several of the more disadvantageous features of Mr. t.i.tmouse's character and conduct, there were far darker ones, with which its miserable writer had not then become acquainted. I shall but hastily glance at one of them; viz. that he was at that moment keeping a mistress in town, and commencing the seduction of a farmer's daughter in the neighborhood of Yatton! Execrable little miscreant!--why should I defile my paper by further specifying his gross misdeeds, or dwelling upon their sickening effects on the mind and feelings of the weak woman, who could suffer herself to be betrayed into such a monstrous union?--But is she the only one that has done so?

Whatever may be the accidental and ultimate advantages, in respect of fortune or social station, expected to be realized by woman in forming a union with one who would be otherwise regarded with indifference, or dislike, or disgust, she may rely upon it that she is committing an act of deliberate _wickedness_, which will be attended, probably, for the rest of her life, with consequences of unutterable and inevitable misery, which even the obtaining of her proposed objects will not compensate, but only enhance. It is equally a principle of our law, and of common sense, that people must be understood to have _contemplated_ the natural and necessary consequences of their own acts, even if hastily--but by so much the more if deliberately done. When, therefore, they come to experience those consequences, _let them not complain_. A marriage of this description, is, so to speak, utter dislocation and destruction to the delicate and beautiful fabric of a woman's character.

It perverts, it _deflects_ the n.o.blest tendencies of her lovely nature; it utterly degrades and corrupts her; she sinks irretrievably into an inferior being: instead of her native simplicity and purity, are to be seen thenceforth only heartlessness and hypocrisy. Her affections and pa.s.sions, denied their legitimate objects and outlets, according to their original weakness or strength of development, either disappear and wither--and she is no longer WOMAN--or impel her headlong into coa.r.s.e sensuality, perhaps at length open criminality; and then she is expelled indignantly and forever from the community of her s.e.x. 'T is then, indeed, an angel turned into a FIEND!--Remember, remember, oh woman!

that it is not the mere ring, and the orange blossom, which const.i.tute the difference between VIRTUE--and VICE!----

Had Lady Cecilia been a woman of acute perceptions or lively sensibilities, she must have fled from her sufferings--she must have gone mad, or committed suicide. As it was, dull as was her temperament, when the more odious points of t.i.tmouse's character and habits were forced upon her notice by the close and constant contiguity of daily intercourse, the reflection that such must be the case _for the remainder of their lives_, became hourly more intolerable, and roused into existence feelings of active hatred and disgust; she became every moment even more alive to the real horrors of her position. The slender stay she had sought for in the reflection that she had incurred all by a dutiful submission to her father's wishes, quickly gave way; _she knew that it was false_! As for t.i.tmouse, he had never cared one straw about anything beyond becoming the husband of the future Baroness of Drelincourt--and that on account not merely of the dignity and splendor conferred upon him by such an alliance with the last remaining member of the elder branch of his ancient family, but also because of the grave and repeated a.s.surances of Mr. Gammon, that it was in some mysterious way essential to the tenure of his own position. Had, however, Lady Cecilia, instead of being cold and inanimate, haughty even to repulsion in her manner, and of person lean and uninviting--been of fascinating manners, affectionate disposition, of brilliant accomplishments, and of ripe loveliness of person, it would, I am persuaded, have made little or no difference to Mr. t.i.tmouse; since such a radiant being would, as it were, stand always surrounded by the invisible but impa.s.sable barrier of _refinement_--forever forbidding communion and sympathy. As for Lady Cecilia, t.i.tmouse could scarcely avoid perceiving how she despised him, and shunned his company on every possible occasion. No person, from merely seeing them, could have dreamed of their being husband and wife.

He made no secret at all (at least in his own peculiar visiting circles) of his wishes that the earl's increasing age and infirmities might quicken, and Lady Cecilia's apparently delicate health decline apace--and thus accelerate the accession of Mr. t.i.tmouse to the barony of Drelincourt.

"Ha, ha!" would exclaim his choice boon companions, "won't it be comical, t.i.t, to see you take your seat in the Upper House?"

"'Pon my soul, jolly, ah, ah!--Demme, I'll show the old stagers a funny trick or two!"

"Capital!--ah, ah, ha!--Do the _donkey_? eh?--You'd make the chancellor's wig jump off!"

"Ha, ha, ha!--I'll tickle 'em, or my name isn't t.i.ttlebat t.i.tmouse!"--By all which was meant, that he purposed introducing into the House of Lords that peculiar mode of debating which had earned him such quick distinction in the House of Commons!

After they had spent about a month at Yatton, his urgent Parliamentary duties required Mr. t.i.tmouse to tear himself from that lovely seclusion--that "bower of bliss"--and resume his arduous post in the House. Though Lady Cecilia would have vastly preferred being left behind at Yatton, decency seemed to require that the bride and bridegroom should make their reappearance in the world jointly, and she was therefore compelled to accompany him to town; and they were very soon duly established in his new residence in Park Lane. It was s.p.a.cious and elegant--indeed it was furnished with great splendor, inasmuch as _carte blanche_ had been given to a fashionable upholsterer. In a moment they were both in the great whirling world of fashion. Lord Dreddlington gave a series of dinner-parties on their account, as did several of their distinguished kinsfolk and friends; and in due time their hospitalities were returned by Mr. t.i.tmouse. His first dinner-party went off with great _eclat_, no fewer than four peers of the realm, with their ladies, being among his guests. Mr. t.i.tmouse led down to dinner the gigantic d.u.c.h.ess of Tantallan, blazing in diamonds, his Grace the Duke bringing up the rear with the Lady Cecilia--and the splendid affair was duly announced, the ensuing morning, in the obsequious columns of the _Aurora_. For some little time Mr. t.i.tmouse occupied his novel and dazzling position with an approach towards decorum and self-denial; but as he became familiar with it, his old tastes revived, and Lady Cecilia and her friends were gratified, for instance, while in the drawing-room after dinner, by catching occasional sounds of Mr. t.i.tmouse's celebrated imitations of animals, which, once or twice, when considerably elevated, he insisted upon giving on his re-entering the drawing-room! Indeed, he spared no pains to acquire the power of pleasing society by the display of rare accomplishments; for which purpose he took lessons every other day in the _art diabolic_--_i. e._ in conjuring; in which he soon became an expert proficient, and could play marvellous tricks upon cards and with dice, eat pocket-handkerchiefs, cause wine-gla.s.ses visibly to sink through solid tables, and perform sundry other astounding feats. Nor was he long in collecting round him guests, who not only tolerated, but professed infinite delight in, such entertainments--"fit audience, _nor_ few"--consisting princ.i.p.ally of those adventurous gentlemen who have entered Parliament in a devout reliance on Providence to find them dinners. 'T was only in such society as this that t.i.tmouse could feel the least sense of enjoyment, and from which Lady Cecilia altogether absented herself, often without deigning the slightest reason, excuse, or apology. In fact, the intemperate habits and irregular hours of t.i.tmouse, soon rendered it necessary that he and the Lady Cecilia should occupy separate sleeping apartments; for either his club, the House, or his other engagements, kept him out till a very late--or rather early--hour every morning.

It was about half-past eleven o'clock one day towards the latter end of June, that Mr. t.i.tmouse, having finished breakfast, (which was surely very early, since he had not gone to bed till four o'clock that morning,) a meal to which he invariably sat down alone, often not catching a glimpse of Lady Cecilia during the day, except on a chance encounter in the hall, or on the stairs, or when they were forced to go out to dinner together--had entered his library, to enjoy undisturbed the luxury of his hookah. The apartment was s.p.a.cious and handsome. All the sides of it were occupied by very curious antique carved oak bookcases, which had belonged to the former tasteful occupant of the house, and from whom they had been purchased by t.i.tmouse, who then bethought himself of procuring books to fill them. For this purpose, it luckily occurred to him, on seeing an advertis.e.m.e.nt of a library for sale by auction one day, that it would be a good speculation to be beforehand with the expected audience, and purchase the aforesaid library in a lump by private contract. He did so--and at a remarkably low price; giving directions that they should forthwith be carried to a bookbinder, named by the obsequious auctioneer--with orders to bind them all in elegant but as varied bindings as possible. Certainly the works were of a somewhat miscellaneous character;--old Directories; Poems by Young Ladies and Gentlemen; Ready-Reckoners; Doddridge's Expositor; Hints on Etiquette; two hundred Minerva press novels; triplicate copies of some twenty books on cookery; the art of war; charades; Cudworth's Intellectual System; books of travels; Bibles, dictionaries, prayer-books, plays; Treatises on Political Economy, and Dancing; adventures of noted highwaymen; the cla.s.sics: moral essays; Enfield's Speaker; and Burn's Ecclesiastical Law. If these respectable works had had the least sense of the distinction which had been so unexpectedly bestowed upon them, they ought not to have murmured at never afterwards receiving the slightest personal attention from their spirited and gifted proprietor!--The room was lit by a large bow-window, which, being partially open, admitted the pleasant breeze stirring without; while the strong light was mitigated by the half-drawn blinds, and the ample chintz window-draperies. On the mantelpiece stood one or two small alabaster statues and vases, and a very splendid and elaborately ornamented French timepiece. The only unpleasantness perceptible, was the sort of disagreeable odor prevalent in rooms which, as in the present instance, are devoted to smoking. To this apartment had been also transferred many of the articles that I have described as having been visible in his rooms at the Albany. Over the mantelpiece was placed the picture of the boxers,--that of Mr. t.i.tmouse being similarly situated in the dining-room. On the present occasion, he wore a full crimson dressing-gown, with yellow slippers; his shirt-collar was open, and thrown down over his shoulders,--leaving exposed to view a quant.i.ty of sand-colored hair under his throat. In fact, he looked the image of some impudent scamp of a valet, who has, in his master's absence, chosen to dress himself in that master's clothes, and affect his luxurious airs. He lay on the sofa with his hookah in his left hand; near him was the table, on which stood the _Morning Growl_, and some eight or ten letters, only one or two of which had as yet been opened.

He had just leaned back his head, and with an air of tranquil enjoyment very slowly expelled a mouthful of smoke, when a servant submissively entered, and announced the arrival of a visitor--Mr. Gammon.

"How d' ye do, Gammon!--early, eh?" commenced t.i.tmouse, without stirring, and with infinite composure and nonchalance. Mr. Gammon made the usual reply, and presently sat down in the chair placed for him by the servant, nearly opposite to Mr. t.i.tmouse--who, had he been accustomed to observation, or capable of it, might have detected something rather unusual in the flushed face, the anxious and restless eye, and the _forced_ manner of his visitor.

"Likely to be a devilish hot day--'pon my soul!".--exclaimed t.i.tmouse, after again emptying his mouth--adding in a tolerably conceited manner--"By the way--here's a letter from Snap--just opened it!--Rather cool, after what's pa.s.sed--eh? Dem him, asks me for a place under government;--Ah--a--what's he fit for?"

"For what he _is_, and nothing else," replied Gammon, with a bitter smile, glancing over poor Snap's letter, which t.i.tmouse handed to him, though marked "strictly confidential"--Gammon being undoubtedly the very last man upon earth whom Snap would have wished to know of his application.

"Were you at the House last night?" inquired Gammon--"They sat very late! Lord Bulfinch made, I think, a very powerful speech"----

"Yes--devilish good--rather long though; and too many of those cursed _figures_ that--by Jove--no one cares about!" replied t.i.tmouse, languidly.

He had by this time turned himself towards Mr. Gammon,--his right arm and leg hanging carelessly over the further side of the sofa.

"Lady Cecilia is well, I hope?"

"Can't say--not seen her this week," drawled t.i.tmouse. "I'll ring and ask if you wish," he added, with an affected smile.

"Ah, my dear t.i.tmouse," quoth Gammon, blandly, and with a smile of delicious flattery, "I hope you don't give her Ladyship just cause for _jealousy_?--eh? You must not avail yourself of your--your acknowledged power over the s.e.x--ahem!"

Mr. t.i.tmouse, half closing his eyes, silently expelled a mouthful of smoke, while an ineffable smile stole over his features.

"You must not neglect her Ladyship, t.i.tmouse," quoth Gammon, gently shaking his head, and with an anxiously deferential air.

"'Pon my life, I don't neglect her!--Public life, you know--eh?" replied t.i.tmouse, slowly, with his eyes closed, and speaking with the air of one suffering from _ennui_. Here a pause of some moments ensued.

"Can we have about half an hour to ourselves, uninterruptedly?" at length inquired Mr. Gammon.

"Ah--a--why--my singing-master is coming here a little after twelve,"

quoth t.i.tmouse, turning himself round, so as to be able to look at the clock on the mantelpiece.

"Oh, probably less than that period will suffice, if we shall not be interrupted--may I ring the bell, and will you give orders to that effect?" With this, Gammon rang the bell; and on the servant's appearing:--

"I say, sir--do you hear, demme?" said t.i.tmouse, "not at home--till this gentleman's gone." The man bowed, and withdrew; and on his closing the door, Gammon softly stepped after him and bolted it; by which time t.i.tmouse, somewhat startled, withdrew his hookah, for an instant, from his mouth, and gazed rather anxiously at Gammon, about whose appearance he then, for the first time, fancied he saw something unusual.