"Pray _don't_ distress yourself, Mr. t.i.tmouse," said Lady Cecilia, really feeling for his evident misery, "or you will distress _us_."

"I beg--humbly beg pardon--please your Lordship--your Ladyship. I'll replace it with the best in London the very first thing in the morning."

Here the servant beside him, who was arranging the table-cloth, uttered a faint sound of suppressed laughter, which disconcerted t.i.tmouse still more.

"Give yourself no concern--'tis only a _trifle_, Mr. t.i.tmouse!--You understand, ha, ha?" said the earl, kindly.

"But if your Lordship will only allow me--expense is no object. I know the very best shop in Oxford Street."

"Suppose we take a gla.s.s of champagne together, Mr. t.i.tmouse?" said the earl, rather peremptorily; and t.i.tmouse had sense enough to be aware that he was to drop the subject. It was a good while before he recovered even the little degree of self-possession which he had had since first entering Lord Dreddlington's house. He had afterwards no very distinct recollection of the manner in which he got through the rest of dinner, but a general sense of his having been treated with the most kind and delicate forbearance--no _fuss_ made. Suppose such an accident had occurred at Satin Lodge, or even Alibi House!

Shortly after the servants had withdrawn, Lady Cecilia rose to retire.

t.i.tmouse, seeing the earl approaching the bell, antic.i.p.ated him in ringing it, and then darted to the door with the speed of a lamplighter to open it, as he did, just before a servant had raised his hand to it on the outside. Then he stood within, and the servant without, each bowing, and Lady Cecilia pa.s.sed between them with stately step, her eyes fixed upon the ground, and her lip compressed with the effort to check her inclination to a smile--perhaps, even laughter. t.i.tmouse was now left alone with Lord Dreddlington; and, on resuming his seat, most earnestly renewed his entreaties to be allowed to replace the dish which he had broken, a.s.suring Lord Dreddlington that "money was no object at all." He was encountered, however, with so stern a negative by his Lordship, that, with a hurried apology, he dropped the subject; but the earl very good-naturedly added that he had perceived the _joke_ intended by Mr. t.i.tmouse--which was certainly a very good one! This would have set off poor t.i.tmouse again; but a glance at the face of his magnificent host sealed his lips.

"I have heard it said, Mr. t.i.tmouse," presently commenced the earl, "that you have been engaged in mercantile pursuits during the period of your exclusion from the estates which you have just recovered. Is it so, sir?"

"Ye-e-e-s--sir--my Lord"--replied t.i.tmouse, hastily considering whether or not he should altogether _sink the shop_; but he dared hardly venture upon so very decisive a lie--"I was, please your Lordship, in one of the greatest establishments in the mercery line in London--at the west end, my Lord; most confidential, my Lord; management of everything; but, somehow, my Lord, I never _took to it_--always felt a cut above it--your Lordship understands?"

"Perfectly, sir; I can quite appreciate your feelings. But, sir, the mercantile interests of this great country are not to be overlooked!--Those who are concerned in them, are frequently respectable persons."

"Begging pardon, my Lord--no, they a'n't--if your Lordship only knew them as well as I do, my Lord. Most uncommon low people. Do anything to turn a penny, my Lord; and often sell damaged goods for best."

"It is very possible, sir, that there may exist irregularities, _eccentricities_, ha! ha! of that description; but upon the whole, sir, I am disposed to think that there are many very decent persons engaged in trade. I have had the happiness, sir, to a.s.sist in pa.s.sing measures that were calculated, by removing restrictions and protective duties, to secure to this country the benefits of free and universal compet.i.tion.

We have been proceeding, sir, for many years, on altogether a wrong principle--that of protecting native industry and enterprise; but, not to follow out this matter farther, I must remind you, sir, that your acquaintance with the principles and leading details of mercantile transactions--undoubtedly one of the mainsprings of the national greatness--may hereafter be of use to you, sir."

"Yes, my Lord, 'pon my soul--when I'm furnishing my houses in town and country, I mean to go to market myself--please your Lordship, I know a trick or two of the trade, and can't be taken in, my Lord. For instance, my Lord, there's Tag-rag--a-hem! hem!" he paused abruptly, and looked somewhat confusedly at the earl.

"I did not mean _that_ exactly," said his Lordship, unable to resist a smile. "Pray, fill your gla.s.s, Mr. t.i.tmouse." He did so. "You are of course aware that you have the absolute patronage of the borough of Yatton, Mr. t.i.tmouse?--It occurs to me, that as our political opinions agree, and unless I am presumptuous, sir, in so thinking--I may be regarded, in a political point of view, as the head of the family--you understand me, I hope, Mr. t.i.tmouse?"

"Exactly, my Lord--'pon my soul, it's all correct, my Lord."

"Well--then, sir, the family interests, Mr. t.i.tmouse, must be looked after"----

"Oh! in course, my Lord, only too happy--certainly, my Lord, we shall, I hope, make a very _interesting_ family, if your Lordship so pleases--I _can_ have no objection, my Lord!"

"It was a vile, a disgraceful trick, by which Ministers popped in their own man for our borough, Mr. t.i.tmouse."

[Lord Dreddlington alluded to the circ.u.mstance of a new writ having been moved for, immediately on Mr. Aubrey's acceptance of the Chiltern Hundreds, and, before the Opposition could be prepared for such a step, sent down, without delay, to Yatton, and Sir Percival Pickering, Bart., of Luddington Court, an intimate friend of Mr. Aubrey's, and a keen unflinching Tory, being returned as member, before the t.i.tmouse influence could be brought for even one moment into the field; the few and willing electors of that ancient and loyal borough being only too happy to have the opportunity of voting for a man whose principles they approved--probably the last they would have of doing so.]

"Yes, my Lord--Sir What-d'ye-call-him _was_ a trifle too sharp for us, in that business, wasn't he?"

"It has succeeded, sir, for the moment, but"--continued his Lordship, in a very significant and stately manner--"it is quite possible that their triumph may be of very short duration--Mr. t.i.tmouse. Those who, like myself, are at headquarters--let me see you fill your gla.s.s, Mr.

t.i.tmouse.--I have the honor to congratulate you, sir, on the recovery of your rights, and to wish you health and long life in the enjoyment of them," quoth the earl, with an air of the loftiest urbanity.

"May it please your Lordship, your Lordship's most uncommon polite"--commenced t.i.tmouse, rising and standing while he spoke--for he had had experience enough of society, to be aware that when a gentleman's health is drunk on important occasions, it becomes him to rise and acknowledge the compliment in such language as he can command--"and am particularly proud--a--a--I beg to propose, my Lord, your Lordship's very _superior_ good health, and many thanks." Then he sat down; each poured out another gla.s.s of claret, and t.i.tmouse drank his off.

"It is extremely singular, sir," said the earl, musingly, after a considerable pause, "the reverses in life that one hears of!"

[I cannot help pausing, for a moment, to suggest--what must have become of the earl and his daughter, had they been placed in the situation of the unfortunate Aubreys?]

"Yes, my Lord, your Lordship's quite true, 'pon my word!--Most uncommon _ups_ and _downs!_ Lord, my Lord, only to fancy _me_, a few months ago, trotting up and down Oxford Street with my yard mea"----He stopped short, and colored violently.

"Well, sir," replied the earl, with an expression of bland and dignified sympathy--"however humble might have been your circ.u.mstances, it is a consolation to reflect that _the Fates ordained it_. Sir, there is nothing dishonorable in being poor, when--you cannot help it! Reverses of fortune, sir, have happened to some of the greatest characters in our history. You remember Alfred, sir?" t.i.tmouse bowed a.s.sentingly; but had he been questioned, could have told, I suspect, as little about the matter--as the earl himself.

"Allow me, sir, to ask whether you have come to any arrangement with your late opponent concerning the back-rents?" inquired the earl, with a great appearance of interest.

"No, my Lord, not yet; but my solicitors say they'll soon _have the screw on_, please your Lordship--that's just what they say--their very words."

"Indeed, sir!" replied the earl, gravely. "What is the sum to which they say you are ent.i.tled, sir?"

"Sixty thousand pounds, my Lord, at least--quite set me up at starting, my Lord--won't it?" replied t.i.tmouse, with great glee; but the earl shuddered involuntarily for a moment, and sipped his wine in silence.

"By the way, Mr. t.i.tmouse," said he, after a considerable pause--"I trust you will forgive me for suggesting whether it would not be a prudent step for you to go to one of the universities, for at least a twelvemonth."

"Humbly begging your Lordship's pardon, am not I too old? I've heard they're all a pack of overgrown schoolboys there--and learn nothing but a bit of some old languages that a'n't the least use now-a-days, seeing it a'n't _spoke_ now, anywhere"--replied t.i.tmouse--"Besides, I've talked the thing over with Mr. Gammon, my Lord"----

"Mr. Gammon? Allow me, sir, to ask who that may be?"

"One of my solicitors, my Lord; a most remarkable clever man, and an out-and-out lawyer, my Lord. It was he that found out all about my case, my Lord. If your Lordship was only to see him for a moment, your Lordship would say what a _remarkable_ clever man that is!"

"You will forgive my curiosity, sir--but it must have surely required very ample means to have carried on so arduous a lawsuit as that which has just terminated so successfully?"

"Oh yes, my Lord!--Quirk, Gammon, and Snap did all that; and, between me and your Lordship, I suppose I shall have to come down a pretty long figure, all on the _nail_, as your Lordship understands; but I mean them to get it all out of that respectable gent, Mr. Aubrey!"--By quietly pressing his questions, the earl got a good deal more from t.i.tmouse than he was aware of, concerning Messrs. Quirk, Gammon, and Snap; and in doing so, conceived a special dislike for Gammon. The earl gave him some pretty decisive hints about the necessity of being on his guard with such people--and hoped that he would not commit himself to anything important without consulting his Lordship, who would of course give him the advantage of his experience in the affairs of the world, and open his eyes to the designs of those whose only object was to make a prey of him. t.i.tmouse began to feel that here, at length, he had met with a _real_ friend--one whose suggestions were worthy of being received with the profoundest deference. Soon afterwards, he had the good fortune to please the earl, beyond expression, by venturing timidly to express his admiration of the splendid ribbon worn by his Lordship; who took the opportunity of explaining that and the other marks of distinction he wore, and others which he was ent.i.tled to wear, at great length and with much minuteness--so that he at length caused t.i.tmouse to believe that he, Lord Dreddlington--the august head of the family--must have rendered more signal service, somehow or other, to his country, and also done more to win the admiration and grat.i.tude of foreign countries, than most men of former or present times. His Lordship might not, perhaps, have intended it; but he went on till he had almost DEIFIED himself in the estimation of his little listener!--One very natural question was perpetually trembling on the tip of t.i.tmouse's tongue; viz. how and when he could get such things for _himself_.

"Well, Mr. t.i.tmouse," at length observed the earl, after looking at his watch--"shall we adjourn to the drawing-room? The fact is, sir, that Lady Cecilia and I have an evening engagement at the d.u.c.h.ess of Diamond's. I much regret being unable to take you with us, sir; but, as it is, shall we rejoin the Lady Cecilia?" continued his Lordship, rising. Up jumped t.i.tmouse; and the earl and he were soon in the drawing-room; where, besides the Lady Cecilia, sat another lady, to whom he was not introduced in any way. This was Miss Macspleuchan, a distant connection of the earl's late countess--a very poor relation, who had entered the house of the Earl of Dreddlington, in order to eat the bitter, bitter bread of dependence. Poor soul! you might tell, by a glance at her, that she had not thriven upon it. She was about thirty, and so thin! She was dressed in plain white muslin; and there was a manifest constraint and timidity about her motions, and a depression in her countenance; whose lineaments showed that if she could have been happy, she might have appeared handsome. She had a most ladylike air; and there was thought in her brow and acuteness in her eye, which however, as it were, habitually watched the motions of the earl and the Lady Cecilia, with deference and anxiety. Poor Miss Macspleuchan felt herself gradually sinking into a sycophant; the alternative being _that_, or starvation. She was very accomplished, particularly in music and languages, while the Lady Cecilia really knew scarcely anything--for which reason, princ.i.p.ally, she had long ago conceived a bitter dislike to Miss Macspleuchan, and inflicted on her a number of petty but exquisite mortifications and indignities; such, perhaps, as none but a sensitive soul could fully appreciate; for the earl and his daughter were exemplary persons in the proprieties of life, and would not do such things _openly_. She was a sort of companion of Lady Cecilia, and entirely dependent upon her and the earl for her subsistence. She was sitting on the sofa beside Lady Cecilia, when t.i.tmouse re-entered the drawing-room; and the latter eyed him through her gla.s.s with infinite _nonchalance_, even when he had advanced to within a few feet of her. He made Miss Macspleuchan, as she rose to take her seat and prepare tea, a most obsequious bow. Absurd as was the style of its performance, she saw that there was politeness in the intention; 'twas moreover a courtesy towards herself, that was unusual from the earl's guests; and these considerations served to take off the edge of the ridicule and contempt with which Lady Cecilia had been preparing her to receive their newly-discovered kinsman. After standing for a second or two near the sofa, t.i.tmouse ventured to sit himself down upon it--on the very edge only--as if afraid of disturbing Lady Cecilia, who was reclining on it with an air of languid hauteur.

"So you're going, my Lady, to a dance to-night, as my Lord says?" quoth t.i.tmouse, respectfully; "hope your Ladyship will enjoy yourself!"

"We regret that you do not accompany us, Mr. t.i.tmouse," said Lady Cecilia, slightly inclining towards him, and glancing at Miss Macspleuchan with a faint and bitter smile.

"Should have been most uncommon proud to have gone, please your Ladyship," replied t.i.tmouse, as a servant brought him a cup of tea.

"These cups and saucers, my Lady, come from abroad, I suppose? Now, I dare say, though they've _rather_ a funny look, they cost a good deal?"

"I really do not know, sir; I believe we have had them some time."

"'Pon my life, my Lady, I like them amazing!" Seeing her Ladyship not disposed to talk, t.i.tmouse became silent.

"Are you fond of music, Mr. t.i.tmouse?" inquired the earl, presently; observing that the pause in the conversation had become embarra.s.sing to t.i.tmouse.

"Very, indeed, my Lord; is your Lordship?"

"I am rather fond of _vocal_ music, sir--of the opera."

This the earl said, because Miss Macspleuchan played upon the piano very brilliantly, and did not sing. Miss Macspleuchan understood him.

"Do you play upon any instrument, Mr. t.i.tmouse?" inquired Lady Cecilia, with a smile lurking about her lips, which increased a little when t.i.tmouse replied in the negative;--but added that, he had once begun to learn the _clarionet_ some years before, but could not manage the notes.

"Excuse me, my Lady, but what an uncommon fine piano that is!" said he.--"If I may make so bold, will your Ladyship give us a tune?"

"I dare say Miss Macspleuchan will play for you, Mr. t.i.tmouse, if you wish it," replied Lady Cecilia, coldly.