In the calm and peace, I'd never felt so alone.

Pul ing out my phone, I dialed. I needed to hear the familiar voice; she answered on the second ring.

"Christian, sweetheart."

"Hey, Mom."

"How was your trip?"

I laughed humorlessly. "Tiring."

"I can only imagine. You should have taken me up on my offer to help you drive out."

"I wish I would have."

"So, what do you think of San Diego?"

"I don't know. I haven't real y had the chance to explore yet, but . . . it feels lonely." I supposed I was always lonely, but being somewhere so unfamiliar made it worse.

Claire sighed. "Christian, please . . ." I could hear the urgency through her tone, "Make the best of it, meet new people. It's a new place, a new start."

I ran my hand through my hair as I stared out over the water, wishing I could. It wasn't like I hadn't tried. I'd dated, once even somewhat seriously, but I'd only ended up hurting her. She'd wanted more than I could give, my heart and my hand, and I refused to marry someone I would never real y love. With that realization, the idea of dating had become pointless, and I refused to wake up in another stranger's bed, so for more than a year, I had slept alone in my own.

My pause told Mom more than any response I could give, and with the growing unease, I changed the subject.

"When are you coming out?"

"Soon. Possibly in the next couple of months."

"Good. I miss you already."

I could sense my mother's sad smile, and it made me miss her even more. "I miss you too, sweetheart. Cal me soon, okay."

"Okay, Mom. Love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye."

The smal amount of comfort my mother's cal brought passed quickly, leaving me once again questioning my decision to move to California.

I lingered by the water for more than an hour after my cal with my mother, immersed in the solitary tranquility of the bay, before final y forcing myself back to my empty condo. I figured since I had taken the day off, I should put it to good use and get some things done before I dove into the massive workload I had waiting for me at the office tomorrow.

Thankful y, I'd purchased a furnished unit, and the moving trucks had already delivered my belongings from my apartment back in New York, but my kitchen cupboards and refrigerator stil stood barren. Though I was a bachelor, it was rare to find an empty pizza box left haphazardly on my coffee table or frozen meals in my freezer. It wasn't that I especial y liked to cook but that I liked to eat wel .

I had to admit there was some draw to San Diego as I climbed into the driver's seat of my grey Audi A8. I'd had little use for it while living in New York, and I was sure, as I pul ed into the huge parking lot in front of the grocery store and parked in one of the many free spaces, it was something I could easily grow accustomed to.

Slowly I moved up and down each aisle, fil ing my basket with every item I would need to stock my kitchen.

The store was not busy, as I presumed was probably common for a Thursday afternoon. I took my time and was in no rush to get back to the emptiness of my condo. I took even more time as I walked through the produce section, inspecting each variety.

As I fil ed a bag with peaches-I felt it-eyes upon me.

The fine hairs prickled on the back of my neck, not in dread, but with a sense of awareness.

Turning to glance over my shoulder, seeking the source, I froze when I was met with the origin.

She stared back at me, looking at me as curiously as I looked at her, neither of us able to turn away. She was absolutely beautiful. Her black hair was pul ed into a ponytail, a few pieces that had fal en out, and her short bangs framed her round face. Her cheeks were pink against her pale skin, unblemished by the sun, but it was her eyes that stopped my heart in my chest. Their intense blue watched me in fascination, wide and intrigued and so familiar.

I tried to shake myself out of it and turn away. I was sure my mind was only playing tricks on me, punishing me a little more by teasing me with the idea that I knew this girl.

But then her mouth turned up in an earth-shattering grin, exposing a row of perfect square teeth so smal , there were little gaps between them.

The staggering amount of emotion that hit me nearly brought me to my knees as I fel in love with the tiny person in front of me.

The smal child continued to grin up at me from where she clung to the leg of a woman standing with her back to me. I couldn't help but smile back at her. It caused her to giggle and made me smile even wider.

The woman glanced down at the girl to see why she was laughing. She fol owed the child's attention to where I stil stood, grinning wildly at her. I reluctantly looked up at the woman, loathe to pul myself away from the moment the child and I had just shared, but immediately felt self-conscious when met with the disturbed expression on the woman's face.

She was young, maybe in her early twenties, and barely over five feet tal . Her blond hair was cut short above her shoulders, and her body was curvy and clad in a hooded col ege sweatshirt, shorts, and flip-flops. The casual attire was something I was quickly coming to appreciate as very common in this new town.

I studied the woman's brown eyes, searching for recognition, any proof to confirm the connection my heart had already made. I found nothing. I was certain I had never seen this woman before.

But the child.

With longing, I turned my gaze back to her, sure she was no stranger.

The woman set a protective hand on the girl's shoulder and gave me a fierce stare, a warning that caused me to look back at her face.

I wanted to say something to explain, but before I could form the words, the woman took the girl's hand and hurried her away, her voice stern and gentle at the same time as she reminded the child to never talk to strangers.

Grimacing, I attempted to turn back to my fruit selection, but my intrigue was too great. Trying to keep a distance, I trailed behind them, pretending to shop for items that were already in my cart as I fol owed them down the same aisles I'd already visited. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself.

I was every bit as drawn to that little girl as she seemed to be to me.

In vain, I attempted to appear nonchalant as I essential y stalked the pair, counting to one hundred in my head before I fol owed them into the next aisle. This time when they came into view, the child was no longer walking but sat in the seat in the front of the cart.

God, I felt like a creep. I was making the woman nervous, and I could only imagine what she was thinking.

Fear was palpable as it radiated from her. She began to move faster, literal y throwing things in her cart.

But what could I do? Cal out to her that I wasn't some sort of sick pervert? Assert that I thought I knew the child- that I believed she was mine? Even to me those words sounded crazy. They would only frighten the woman more.

When they final y got to the checkout, I slipped into a line a couple of rows down from them, absentmindedly loading my groceries on the conveyor belt while I tried to watch them out of the corner of my eye.

She was precious-perfect. I was completely mesmerized.

From where she sat two rows down, I could real y see her, her plump arms with the smal gold bracelet that she wore on one of her wrists, the pink bow that held her hair in the messy ponytail, and the little cleft in her chin that matched my own.

"Sir?"

I jumped when I realized someone had been speaking to me. My attention was so wrapped up in the girl I'd forgotten where I was. I looked at the cashier, having no idea what she'd said.

She rol ed her eyes at me before repeating, "One-hundred and seventy-two dol ars and ninety-three cents." Digging out my wal et, I made my purchase while stil keeping an eye on the girl. Every time we made eye contact, she smiled again.

When they headed for the exit, I felt as if I were in a race for time, as if this were the one chance I'd been given, and I felt desperate to catch one last glimpse of the girl before she was gone from my life forever.

Pushing my cart through the sliding doors, I scanned the lot and easily spotted the blonde woman awkwardly throwing her plastic grocery bags in the trunk of her smal white sedan while she kept one hand across the bel y of the child who stil sat in the cart.

I felt bad for causing the woman so much distress, but I was powerless to the cal the child had on me. I pushed my cart up the opposite side of the same row they were parked in, stopping a mere fifty feet from them. I stood, staring unabashedly, al owing myself a sad smile in return to the bril iant one the girl gave me.

The woman gasped when she looked up, finding me so close to them. She slammed the trunk shut and yanked the girl up in her arms, catching the child's shoe on the basket. It tumbled to the ground. She looked at the shoe and then at me, her eyes wide with fear, before she turned and abandoned it on the ground. From over the woman's shoulder, the child watched me, her little hand reaching out to me. I lifted my own in a silent goodbye, fil ed with an immense sense of loss as I watched the smal car jerk into reverse out of the spot, then speed quickly away.

Sighing, I shook my head, suddenly wondering if I had completely lost my mind. I had just terrified a complete stranger because I was inexplicably drawn to a little girl, and I couldn't help but feel more than a little ashamed for it.

But it had been a nagging pul , one that could not be ignored.

Walking slowly to where the woman's cart had been abandoned in the middle of the parking lot, I picked up the tiny pink canvas shoe and held it to my chest, wondering what in the hel I was supposed to do now.

I tossed uneasily in my bed, unable to force my eyes closed. I was more than accustomed to sleepless nights, but this was something entirely different. My whole body protested against lying idle, singing out that I had something to do.

I realized now that subconsciously this was what I'd hoped for and probably was the real reason I'd ever agreed to come to San Diego, believing there was a possibility Elizabeth had moved here, hoping one day, though I knew the chances were slim, I would run into her or one of her family. Just the idea had been enough to make me accept my father's offer.

Sitting up on the side of my bed, I clutched my head in my hands as my elbows dug into my thighs. I took deep breaths and tried to calm my racing heart. I looked at the tiny pink shoe resting on my nightstand and knew there was nothing else I could do. It was no different now than it had been al those years ago. If I saw the child, I would never be able to walk away.

Just this afternoon I'd questioned my choice to come here, but now I knew there had been a reason.

I stood and crossed the room to the desk where my laptop sat. The screen lit as I raised the lid, il uminating the otherwise darkened room. I took a deep breath as I entered the name-something I'd done so many times before-but this time it was different.

This time I completed the search.

I sat in silence, my mind a thousand miles away from the congested road I traveled. My thoughts were on a man I both wished I could forget and clung desperately to al at the same time. Why I did this to myself, I didn't know. But every morning, it was the same. After dropping my daughter off at preschool, he would invade, the recessed memories clawing their way out and into the forefront of my mind.

Why couldn't I just forget him? My daughter was almost five years old, but it felt like it had just been yesterday since Christian had cal ously forced us out of his life.

And it stil hurt.

I was so angry because of the bitterness that remained, my incapacity to move on-my inability to love again.

Shaking my head, I fought against the tears.

A car horn blared, making me jump and pul ing me from my daze. The lane sat open in front of me where the cars ahead had already passed through the intersection. I grimaced as I glanced in my rear-view mirror at the frustrated driver behind me, threw my hand up in an apology I wasn't entirely sure he would see, and accelerated to free the buildup of traffic.

I wasn't always like this. Real y, the pain only surfaced in the quiet times. I had so much love in my life; I would never discount it or take it for granted. When I was alone, though, it was impossible to ignore the heaviness in my chest-the ache.

I hated him for leaving it there.

No one should ever have that much control of someone else's heart, and I would never al ow myself to become so vulnerable again.

Arriving at the bank five minutes before nine, I drove around to the back and parked in the same spot I did every day. My aspirations of becoming an attorney had long since been forgotten. Finishing my bachelor's had been nearly impossible, taking me more than two years of night school to finish my last year. Three grueling years of law school were not something I could entertain.

I wasn't wil ing to sacrifice the time with my baby girl.

Lizzie was my world.

My pregnancy had been incredibly difficult. The blow Christian had inflicted had affected me both emotional y and physical y. That first night had been one of the most terrifying of my life. Every coherent thought I could form as I came in and out of consciousness focused on the possibility that I might lose my baby. It was a possibility I was sure I would not survive. My heart had been left in tatters, mangled. The love I had for the child was the last string holding me together. I could feel my body trying to reject the pregnancy while my heart and mind warred to keep it.

I'd remained hospitalized for three days before my body final y conceded to the growing child within me, but at that time, I had no idea of the fight ahead of me. I'd been il the entire time, my body never ful y giving in to the normal phases of pregnancy. While my doctor told me morning sickness tended to last through the first twelve weeks, I'd vomited every morning until the day Lizzie came. I'd had to withdraw from classes and put my academic career on hold while I sat at home and nursed myself through those nine, miserable months.

But I couldn't complain. I had accepted it was a smal price to pay to keep my child.

I'd been in love with my baby since the moment I'd learned I was pregnant, but that love couldn't prepare me for what I felt the first time I held Lizzie in my arms.

There were no words to describe the love and the devotion that flooded me as my baby girl was placed against my stomach, her shril cries rattling through the delivery room. As I had reached out and ran my fingers through the shock of black hair on my daughter's head, Lizzie had immediately calmed. With that caress, I found the purpose for my life.

Releasing a heavy breath, I leaned my forehead onto the steering wheel, trying to clear my mind of the conflicting emotions swirling through me. The contrast of love I had for my daughter and disdain for Christian made my head spin, knowing without Christian there would be no Lizzie. I couldn't even begin to regret a relationship that had brought my child into the world. I could only regret the way it had ended.

I ran my hand through the front of my hair and pushed my long, blond bangs from my face before reluctantly stepping from my car. I stood on the pavement and straightened my white blouse and black slacks, bolstering myself for another day of insignificance.

It wasn't that I particularly disliked my job. I was thankful for it. It was just hard to spend the long days of unfulfil ing monotony away from my daughter.

Clicking the button on my key, my red, four-door Honda Civic chirped, assuring it was secure for the day. After being hired at the bank a little more than a year before, I'd bought the car and my house, both used and a little worn, but mine nonetheless. It was something I had worked so hard for, a house in a safe neighborhood with a backyard for my daughter to play in, and it was an accomplishment of which I couldn't help but feel proud.

I walked through the doors, immediately greeted by Selina, one of the other tel ers. "Morning, Elizabeth," she said, ever cheerful.

"Good morning." I smiled back at the young woman, who was barely more than a girl, her dark brown hair pul ed back in a stylish ponytail and her makeup done to perfection around her dark chocolate eyes. Selina had an aura about her, an unmistakable zest that drew me in. I supposed it was a subconscious connection to the girl I used to be.

I took my spot two windows from Selina and plastered an over-friendly smile on my face. I spent the day fielding the constant influx of customers, focusing only on the simple tasks in front of me and the ticking clock, and counting the hours until I was back with my Lizzie.

As soon as the clock hit five, I was on my feet and heading out the door, anxious to make it home before Lizzie and my cousin Natalie.

Flipping open my phone, I read a text from Natalie that said she was going to the grocery store and would be home by five thirty.

I freed a long sigh of appreciation as I buckled myself into the seat of my car. Natalie was a lifesaver. I honestly didn't know what I would do without her and Matthew.

Next to Lizzie, they were the two most important people in my life.

Matthew had been the one person I could rely on while I was il with my pregnancy. From the moment I woke up in the hospital to the moment I gave birth, he had been there. I almost felt embarrassed to remember that we'd once been lovers, though it was a relationship that was never meant to be.

It wasn't that either of us found the other unattractive. It was just that Matthew had felt no spark in our touch, and my heart stil belonged to the one who had destroyed it.

When we'd moved to San Diego when Lizzie was five months old to be close to my mom and the rest of my family, I'd known the precarious relationship Matthew and I shared couldn't last. I'd just had no idea it would end so soon.

It was here he met Natalie.

When they'd eloped to Las Vegas seven months later, my family, especial y my mother, had been so angry with them and couldn't understand why I wasn't. What they didn't understand was how much Matthew had already sacrificed for me, for Lizzie, and there was no chance I'd stand in the way of his happiness.

At the time, Natalie had just turned eighteen, but it didn't take long for me to see the real connection they had.