Well, she wasn't exactly solitary.

How the h.e.l.l did I end up at a beach resort with this woman?

What would she expect from him? He was used to lying, but it didn't feel right to do something false with Mariska. Well, any more than he'd already done.

Jackson wasn't one to live with regrets or guilt, but he didn't like using her.

If it keeps you alive it'll be worth it.

It wasn't that he didn't want her.

That's the problem. I want her too much. And she's too d.a.m.n good for the likes of me. The last thing she needs is some renegade spook putting her life in danger.

He should deposit her in her room, and make an excuse that he had business back in the city. He'd accidentally keep her computer and send it to her when he heard from Dawson. Honestly, he had no idea why his handler had arranged for them to meet. The more he had come to know Mariska, the less the dots connected.

They stood on the beach watching the horizon. The waves lapping against the sh.o.r.e were the only sound, and it was the most peaceful moment Jackson had experienced in years. He forced himself to concentrate on the scene before him and let his mind rest for a few seconds. He could figure out his next move later.

"Is it me or does the sun seem even bigger here." Her voice was soft as a feather and full of awe. She leaned back against his chest. It seemed such a natural move, like they'd been together for years. Automatically, he wrapped his arms around her.

After all, the woman deserved some comfort after what they'd been through. She was a trouper, this one, and hadn't complained about the zigzag path he tore through Bangkok to lose the tail they'd picked up while trying to leave the hotel. The dark black sedan that had followed them at the airport had been waiting outside the garage. Knowing it might be a possibility, Jackson had planned ahead, and lost the car about three minutes into the chase. Then after he was sure they were safe, he'd backtracked to make sure the casino thugs thought they'd gone the opposite direction.

Mariska had held tight to him, never saying a word, though he did feel her hands fist with nerves a few times. h.e.l.l, if he hadn't been gripping the handlebar of the j.a.panese motorcycle he might have been doing the same thing. If he told her to lean right or left she did, never questioning his instincts.

He was surprised that she didn't begin her nervous chattering as soon as they were free of the nuisance. He figured she needed to process the fact that they'd been so close to danger. The more he was around her the more he realized she wasn't used to being in the middle of the action.

"The sun does seem larger," he said. "Of course that probably has something to do with a serious lack of pollution, which can dull-"

She slapped at the arm he'd wrapped around her waist. "Don't ruin it for me with facts, let me have the magic."

He grinned. She was definitely a woman who deserved some magic.

He already knew about her mother, but more research revealed that she'd taken over her mother's agency right out of college. She had finished her Ph.D. in clinical psychology with an emphasis on the criminal mind.

That explained why textbook-wise she seemed like a smart investigator, but she didn't have many practical skills.

The confidence he'd seen earlier had been an act. He knew that now and it made him like her even more. She did whatever it took to get the job done. That was something they had in common. She also had good natural instincts. At the club and the ma.s.sage parlor she'd acted the parts as if she'd been born to them.

She needed to work on watching the world around her. Maybe he could teach her to be more observant before they had to part ways.

There he went again, acting like he might hang around.

He sighed, and she turned to him.

"Are you sorry you came with me? I can be a bit of a romantic at times. I'm not expecting anything from you." She frowned. "I mean. You know I think we can be friends."

"Friends?" He smiled at her. "Yes, that's a possibility. But I can tell you that I'm expecting a great deal from you." He kissed her again. He couldn't seem to stop himself from doing that, and wondered if her lipstick had some kind of pheromone that drew him to her full lips. He'd seen stranger things in his business. "Finished with your sunrise?"

She gave a happy sigh, and smiled back at him. That small gesture sent warmth through his body. His c.o.c.k stirred and he pulled away before she could feel his physical interest. "Maybe we should check in."

Taking her hand, he started up the beach, but she stopped him. "About that. I-rented one of the villas on the beach. And there's only-um. There's only one bed. I can try and change it. They may have a suite where you could have your own room?"

Two rooms wasn't a bad idea. He already felt unsure about advancing their friendship without being completely honest with her. And frankly, he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to withstand her charms, since he desired her more than anyone he'd ever met. It scared the h.e.l.l out of him.

"Oh. Wow." Her voice rose in pitch, her face pinched in distress. "That silence answered my question loud and clear. Now I'm really embarra.s.sed. I'll see if I can get the suite."

His nonanswer had been misinterpreted. This time he was the one who stopped her from walking. Taking her in his arms, he pressed his lips against hers. Sweet. She tasted so sweet and warm. He'd first noticed it when their lips met at the club, and now that same sensation sent his mind in a million different directions, eventually landing in one thought.

He wanted to take her right there on the beach.

Finally he lifted his face from hers. "We can go as fast or as slow as you want. You don't strike me as a woman who likes to rush into things, but have no doubt that I desire you, Mariska Stonegate." He meant every word.

Part of his brain screamed he was an a.s.s for getting involved with her. He'd only break her heart in a few days, and there was always that looming possibility of getting them both killed if Vlad caught up with them.

The other part of his brain said, "Screw it." Jackson wasn't sure he'd leave Thailand alive. Burned CIA agents didn't have long retirements. Whatever his future held, he had to spend the next few days with this woman.

It probably wasn't fair to either of them, but at least he'd have memories of her. And he would do his best to make sure she had the time of her life.

"So, you've figured out I've never done anything like this before." She scrunched up her face. She was so adorable.

"If it makes you feel any better I can honestly say I've never run off on a beach vacation with a woman." Well, at least when it wasn't for work. He'd done it in the line of duty, but there'd never been time for any relationships. He'd become a machine the last six years. Everything was about the job.

Now they didn't give a c.r.a.p about him.

But Mariska did. That she desired him as much as he did her was enough. A few days on a beach wouldn't be much of a hardship. He'd give her that, knowing he was the one receiving the real gift.

Taking her hand in his, he led her up to the lobby of the hotel.

"Okay, so we have one of the water villas right on the beach. We're going to have fab views, I'm told. At least I think that's what the desk clerk said." She smiled at him, covering her discomfort. "I think he's French, and his English was almost so perfect I couldn't understand him."

"Mar, don't be nervous around me. The villa is great," he a.s.sured her. "I'll keep my promise. We'll take our time. We both need to relax and have some fun. There's nothing wrong with that."

It might kill him to take it slow. This woman made him burn like no other, but it wouldn't be such a bad way to die. He'd almost been killed in a myriad of ways. Yes, he much preferred dying from pining after a woman he didn't deserve, as long as he could do it in her presence.

When she reached up and kissed his cheek it surprised him. "That's the problem. I don't want to go slow, Jackson." With that she took his hand and all but dragged him to their small villa.

This is going to be one h.e.l.l of a ride. Jackson followed her like a smitten puppy.

8.

I'm about to sleep with Jackson. Okay, lungs, breathe.

The short trip down the beach path to the villa seemed to take forever. Mariska had never thought of herself as particularly bold, but it was as if a s.e.xy alien had taken over her body. Jackson caused her to say and do things she'd only fantasized about.

The last year had been about her pretending to be something she wasn't. Everyone thought because she was Janice Stonegate's daughter she could step right into her mother's shoes. But those shoes had been about two sizes too big and Mariska constantly played catch-up. Hiding the fact that she lacked the basic skills to be a decent investigator had worn her out.

When she went back to the office she'd tell the rest of the staff the truth. They deserved it. Though she would still meet with clients. That was something she was good at. Discerning the needs of whoever walked in the door.

But she couldn't think about all of that now. Here at the beach was a time to let go and be herself-maybe for the first time in a long time. Maybe for the first time ever.

There'd been a moment on the beach when she'd almost died of embarra.s.sment. Thinking she'd a.s.sumed too much, but Jackson pushed all those fears away with a heart-dropping kiss and his tender words. She wondered if he had any idea how into him she was.

It'd probably scare the h.e.l.l out of him if he did.

They hadn't discussed the harrowing ride from Bangkok to p.h.u.ket, but it had taken everything she had not to throw up on the back of that bike. Several times she closed her eyes and listened to Jackson bark orders as he took a fast corner, or needed her to lean a certain way.

It had been one of the scariest moments of her life, but also the most thrilling. Now they were here, and she wanted to leave everything in the past behind. To live for the now-that was the promise she'd made to herself.

Sliding the key card into the door of the villa, Jackson opened it and they both stood at the entrance taking it all in. The s.p.a.ce was deceptively larger than it appeared from the outside.

Everything was white, from the filmy curtains and the bedspread to the walls. The French doors could be pushed to the side, opening the whole front of the place to the ocean breezes and amazing views. She finally walked across the room and peeked around the corner to find a well-appointed bathroom. There was a shower for two, a sink and toilet.

There was also a row of cabinets, a wet bar with shelves of snacks and booze. Mariska realized she was suddenly very hungry. She'd also lost some of the bravado from a few seconds ago.

Is it a bad thing to have a mai tai for breakfast?

It all seemed too real. She was at a beachfront resort with a hot guy who wanted her. He'd even used the word desire out on the beach. She should pounce on him, but she needed a little time to pull herself together.

"I know you have to be as exhausted as I am, but how about some breakfast on the beach?" She picked up the menu by the bed. "I'm starving."

"Great idea." Jackson put their bags down inside the armoire. "Do they have pancakes, and maybe some bacon? I could use some protein."

"You're my kind of man." In more ways than one. "A full breakfast it is." She picked up the phone and ordered, adding a mai tai at the end. The room service staff agreed to set the food up on the patio table right outside their door.

"How about we take a quick swim to work out the kinks?" Jackson smiled at her, and her pulse quickened. After what she'd seen at the ma.s.sage parlor, she couldn't wait for another chance to see him sans clothes. The man's body begged to be touched, and she planned to do that a lot.

Suddenly tongue-tied, she coughed into her hand. "Uh, great idea." She reached into her bag and scooped out one of the four bikinis she'd thrown in. This one was red with tiny bows on each side. It was one of her favorites. "Five minutes. I'll meet you out on the beach."

She heard him chuckle as she shut the door.

Mariska stared at herself in the mirror.

Live for the now.

She'd seen the phrase on a fortune cookie a month ago. It was the cookie that had inspired the trip to Thailand. Tired of living in the past and worrying about what everyone else thought of her, she'd decided it was time for a real vacation. One where she could be whomever she wanted, and maybe she'd find herself.

Mariska grabbed the side of the sink.

"You better watch out, Jackson. I'm a bold woman who isn't going to shy away from life anymore. I'm going to have my way with you. Mmm, in every which way I can. I'm done with boundaries. It's all about being in the now and living life to the fullest."

OUTSIDE THE VILLA, Jackson did a quick search of the perimeter. He'd lost the tail before they even left the city, but he couldn't be too careful. If someone had seen him with Mariska, it wouldn't be hard to track her down since she'd probably used her credit card to book the hotel.

He'd been surprised when she didn't jump his bones the minute they walked in the door. From the slight quiver in her voice, it sounded as if she'd contracted another case of the nerves.

She might be a woman of contradictions, but he didn't care. Life would never be boring around her, and he liked that he couldn't always read her.

He'd meant what he told her earlier about going at her pace. To him, she was a delicacy. One he intended to savor. He could wait.

As he watched Mariska walk down the beach, Jackson was glad he'd already jumped into a cool wave. The water hid his instant erection. The woman had no idea the kind of effect she had on him. The second he saw her in that d.a.m.n red bikini he swore he'd send a thank-you letter to the designer. It fit her body perfectly. Her pert b.r.e.a.s.t.s were covered barely enough to make the mind wonder how long it would take to untie that little bow between them, and the ones on the sides of her beautiful, curvy hips.

As she moved closer to him the cool water slapped against her taut belly, and her nipples hardened into tiny buds pressing against the material. Using her right hand, she shaded her eyes from the sun. "You started without me."

You have no idea. Jackson reached out to her, careful to stay waist deep so she couldn't see the tent in his board shorts, at least not yet. "The water was too enticing. Of course I could say the same about that bikini."

As she reached him, he saw the blush on her cheeks. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"

She ducked her head and stared down at the water. "Um, are there sharks here? I really don't like sharks."

Jackson laughed hard at that. "You're nervous again."

"No, no." She waved her hand. "I'm kind of a freak about sharks. Well, sharks and snakes. Probably too much Discovery Channel as a child. Great whites like cold water, right?"

She was hot and cold, this one. But he was a patient man.

"There are about seventeen different species in this part of the world, including the nurse, whale and tiger sharks, but most of them prefer the deeper waters, so I think we're okay. How good of a swimmer are you?"

She bit her lip but finally met his eyes. "I'm pretty good. Why? Do you think we'll have to outswim the sharks? I'd rather sit on the sand if that's the case. That is exactly why I like surfing. At least you have something to climb on to if you see a fin."

Jackson couldn't keep from chuckling again. "I had no idea you surfed. We'll have to do that while we're here. I thought maybe we could swim out to that deck a little to the right." He pointed over his shoulder. "But we can stay right here with our feet on the ocean floor, if it makes you feel better."

She glanced down at the water again, right at his erection. As she moved closer, something came over her face. It took him a moment to realize it was l.u.s.t.

"What do you want to do, Jackson?" Her voice had turned velvety again, and so suggestive that all of his senses went on alert. He didn't think it was a possibility, but his c.o.c.k grew even harder.

Not bothering to answer, he took her hands in his and brought her slick body against him. She smelled sweet and salty and he had to taste her. Sliding his arms around her waist, he pulled her with him farther into the water, where their bodies were hidden but he could still keep his feet firm on the sandy bottom.

They stared at each other for a moment. The need he saw there was something he wanted to vanquish.

Mar leaned into him and captured his lips. That's all it took. His determination to take things slowly swam away with the fish.

I want her.

Trailing kisses down her neck, he moved to her shoulder, and back to her lips, a.s.saulting them. When she responded with equal pa.s.sion, he brought her even closer.

She smiled against his lips, and pushed her pelvis into his. "You have a revolver in there, or are you happy to see me?"

Jackson nipped at her ear. "Guns and water don't mix, so use your imagination."

"Oh, I'd say you have a loaded gun ready to go." Then she touched him there, and he almost exploded in her hand. Another second and he might.

Jackson watched her face as she traced the length of him, and he knew she wanted him as much as he did her. But he had to stop her hand before he embarra.s.sed himself.