Abby grabbed Lamb's hand and they smiled at each other knowingly, probably wishing they had three dogs instead of three teenagers. Where were Caitlin and Sharkey? They'd promised to be back in time for dinner.

When Abby brought up the subject of the scholarship Vix held her breath. This is it, she thought, the Big Picture. She still wasn't sure what the Big Picture was but Tawny had been in such a good mood all day maybe it would be okay. As she glanced up from her position on the floor she saw Tawny fiddling with a c.o.c.ktail napkin, one that said, Fly First Cla.s.s. Your Children Will. She folded it into quarters, then eighths, until it grew small enough to swallow. "Having her as your guest for the summer is one thing," Tawny told Abby. "A scholarship to private school is another."

"Yes, but we want a" Abby began.

"Victoria doesn't need to go to private school," Tawny said, cutting her off. "She can get a fine education at the high school."

Lamb tried to explain the Somers Foundation and how one of its programs provided scholarships to worthy students. But Tawny wasn't listening. "Do you want to go to the Mountain Day School, Victoria?" she asked. "Is that what this is all about?"

"It was our idea, Tawny," Lamb said, "mine and Abby's."

Abby gave Lamb a grateful look but Tawny wasn't having any of it. "Victoria?" she said and she wasn't a stranger anymore. She was the mother Vix knew from Santa Fe.

"I would like to go," Vix said.

"Why?" Tawny asked.

d.a.m.n! She could have come up with a million reasons if only she'd thought about it. She could have told them about Raymond Kurtis, who made ugly, sucking sounds when he pa.s.sed her in the halls at school and who had bets going with his disgusting friends that one or the other of them could grab a feel or get his hand up her skirt. She could have said, To get a better education or To be best friends with the most popular girl at school.

"We're waiting, Victoria," Tawny said.

The Countess boomed, "Oh, for gawd's sake, Tawny! Why are you making such a thing of it? Four thousand kids at one school is too d.a.m.n many kids in one place if you ask me."

"I'll have to discuss it with my husband," Tawny said.

The Countess rolled her eyes skyward and muttered, "Thank gawd I don't have a husband."

13.

Summer 1980 SOMETIMES CAITLIN acted like the one who didn't get it. When Vix broached the subject of finding jobs Caitlin was incredulous. "A job a but why a are you bored?"

"No, I'm not bored."

"Then, what?"

"I need the money."

"Oh, the money."

Caitlin had trouble remembering not everyone had an unlimited amount to spend. Not that she was a big spender. Like Lamb, she played down the money thing. She had no idea the scholarship had caused an uproar at Vix's house.

"The world has changed since we were young," Ed had told Tawny. "This will give Vix ana"" He'd dropped the last word.

"A what?" Tawny asked.

"An edge," her father repeated, this time so Tawny could hear the word.

"An edge to topple over," Tawny scoffed.

"She deserves the chance," Ed argued. "After that, it's a" He'd mumbled the rest but Vix, listening intently, was sure he'd said, After that, it's up to her.

Yes, she thought, it would be up to her!

She was beginning to see her father as her champion within the family. She just wished he'd be more demonstrative, more open in his love, if love was what it was about.

Another thing Caitlin didn't get was that friendship carried certain obligations. Otherwise she'd never have said, "Even though we're summer sisters and always will be, I have another life at Mountain Day, a life apart from the two of us."

Vix felt like she'd slammed into a concrete wall. Her head throbbed with the t.i.tles of every insipid self-help article she'd ever read. "When Your Best Friend Betrays You!" "Are You a Victim of Your Circ.u.mstances?" "How to Handle Your Hurt."

"I'm doing you a real favor," Caitlin said. "You understand, don't you?"

Understand? She'd willed herself not to cry, not to allow Caitlin to see her pain or disappointment. If Caitlin was afraid she'd cling to her at school, she didn't have to worry. "I have another life, too," she said, sounding as if she couldn't have cared less.

"I know you do," Caitlin said. "And I'm not offended a really."

After that Vix had to remind herself that Caitlin could have asked any of her Mountain Day friends to spend the summer, but she didn't, did she? Sometimes, at school, Caitlin's behavior annoyed Vix. She'd act as if she were some other person, some person Vix didn't even know. Then Caitlin would look at her as if to say, You and I understand this is just a game but the others think it's for real so don't give me away a okay?

After a month at Mountain Day Vix got sick. A kidney infection. It burned when she peed. She had a high fever and a pain in her back. She needed antibiotics. She felt terrible, as bad as she'd felt in her entire life. Her mother blamed it on the new school. Just because it's an expensive school doesn't mean you don't need paper on the toilet seat to protect yourself.

She a.s.sured her mother she'd been careful. And the doctor swore this wasn't something she'd caught from a toilet seat. But Tawny didn't believe him. "Thank G.o.d your father's job comes with health insurance," Tawny said. "Do you know what these antibiotics cost?"

She didn't want to know.

The Countess sent flowers with a card that read, Darling Child, Get well! It was signed with the names of her five dogs.

Nathan offered Orlando. Orlando had magical powers. He would make her better. But if he didn't and she died, he'd be really p.i.s.sed. "You know what p.i.s.sed means?" he asked her.

"Yes," she said, "I know."

His first taste of freedom had changed Nathan. "No more Mr. Nice Guy," he'd announced. "Just because I'm in a chair doesn't mean you can push me around!" His wheelchair jokes drove Tawny up the wall.

"We never should have let you go to camp," she told him.

"Too late. I've already been." He pressed for more freedom, for privacy, respect. He'd even shouted at Vix one night when she'd come into the bathroom without knocking. "Out a right now! Only guys allowed."

"Okay, sorry a" She was glad he was struggling for independence but that didn't make living with him any easier.

In her feverish dreams Bru came to her every day, kissing her so pa.s.sionately he set her body on fire. In her dreams he didn't speak at all, which was just as well since the one time she'd seen him all summer, as she was coming out of the Porta Potti at the Ag Fair and he was waiting his turn to go in, he'd looked right at her and said, When you gotta go, you gotta go. She'd been mortified at the idea of him knowing she'd just used the toilet and hadn't been able to respond.

Later, he'd come up behind her while she was lined up for the Tilt-A-Whirl. He'd tapped her shoulder and when she turned he shoved a giant panda bear at her. "Keep him warm for me a okay?"

Then he was gone.

Caitlin couldn't believe it. "You are the luckiest person in the entire world!"

She slept with her arms around the bear every night, one fuzzy leg between hers, igniting her Power.

Since she'd fallen ill, Caitlin came to see her every day. She stood a kachina doll on the shelf above Vix's bed. "If your medicine doesn't ward off evil spirits, this will." Then she sat at Vix's bedside holding her hand. "You know what I told you before school started a about having another life at school?"

Vix nodded.

"Well, I never would a that is, I didn't mean a to hurt you or anything. I would never hurt you. Never. Compared to you my school friends mean nothing to me. Less than nothing."

"You're not the reason I got sick, if that's what you're thinking."

"Who said that's what I'm thinking?"

"You're acting guilty, like it's your fault."

"I am not!"

"Okay a fine." Vix rolled over in bed.

"You really make it hard," Caitlin said, "you know that?"

"Make what hard?"

"Never mind. Just forget it. I'll come back tomorrow. Or maybe not."

If Vix hadn't gotten sick, if Caitlin hadn't felt guilty, would they be sitting together on the old glider swing now, arguing about summer jobs? Would their friendship have survived? Tawny said, You can fill a lifetime with if-onlys a or you can get on with it. In our family, we get on with it.

"So a what kind of job did you have in mind?" Caitlin asked.

"There's only one thing we can do until we're older."

"Please a tell me it's not what I'm thinking!"

Vix shrugged.

"I don't even like little children," Caitlin cried. "They're so a demanding."

"Do me a favor. Keep that to yourself if you decide to go with me."

Caitlin decided to go with her. They were hired on the spot by the first person to interview them, a woman named Kitty Sagus, whose grandchild was coming for a month. As soon as she heard Caitlin was Lamb Somers' daughter she was sold.

On their first day on the job they discovered Kitty's daughter and son-in-law were Famous TV Stars. They recognized him right awaya"Tim Castellano. And even though she was pregnant and hiding behind huge sungla.s.ses it was obvious she was Loren D'Aubergine.

Vix knew she was supposed to act cool, as if she didn't notice they looked familiar, because, after all, this was the Vineyard and plenty of celebrities came here to get away from it all.

Right away The Stars announced that Max wasn't toilet trained. "You mean he's still in diapers a at three?" Caitlin asked, in her I-cannot-believe-this tone.

Max looked up at her with huge baby eyes. "I like diapers."

You could tell Tim and Loren were embarra.s.sed. Loren blushed and said, "If you can get him to use the potty, there's a bonus in it for you."

"A bonus?" Vix asked.

"Yes, a handsome cash bonus," Tim explained.

"So long as you don't threaten him or make him feel guilty," Loren said. "We don't want his toilet training to be traumatic in any way. It's very important that it be his decision."

"I get M&M's if I go potty," Max said, crashing his dump truck into his excavator. "Three for a pee, five for a p.o.o.p. Yellows and reds are my favorites."

One morning during their second week of work, Tim accompanied them to the beach. At first Vix thought he was checking up on them, not that she minded. The idea of being seen with Tim Castellano was pretty exciting, even though he wore a baseball hat and dark gla.s.ses to keep people from recognizing him. And maybe he did look like just another guy with his family at the beach because no one stared or paid extra attention.

Vix was trying to get up the guts to ask for his autograph for Tawny, who never missed his show. But when she saw the way he was watching Caitlin slather herself with suntan lotion, she changed her mind. "Want me to do your back, Spitfire?" he asked. That was his special name for Caitlin. He didn't call Vix anything.

"Oh, thanks a" Caitlin said, lowering the straps of her red bikini. She was shooting up at an alarming rate, already taller than Vix who had reached her full height of five feet five a year agoa"and even though she ate twice what Vix did she wasn't gaining an ounce. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were still tiny. But Vix didn't like the way Tim looked at her. Something was going on, something that made her uncomfortable. And she didn't like it when he asked how old they were either.

"Fifteen," Vix told him, loud and clear, though he hadn't directed his question to her. "How old are you?"

"Thirty-five," he said, laughing. "Old enough to be your father."

But he wasn't acting like a father. Especially when, just before they were ready to pack up and head home for lunch, he suggested that he and Caitlin take a dip.

Caitlin said, "Sure."

"You'll watch Max, won't you?" Tim asked Vix.

"That's my job," she told him.

"Be right back." Caitlin tossed her hair out of her face, raised her eyebrows at Vix, then raced for the water. She dove under and began swimming out, with strong, confident strokes. Tim had thrown off his baseball hat and gla.s.ses and was hustling out of the shorts he'd worn over his bathing suit.

"Where's Daddy going?" Max asked.

"For a swim," Vix told him. "Let's go watch."

"Carry me."

She held him in her arms, breathing in the sweet smell of his hair, while she tried to keep an eye on Tim and Caitlin. By the time they came out Caitlin's lips were blue. Tim wrapped her in a towel and rubbed her down, the way they did with Max when he was wet and cold. But something about it didn't feel right. When Tim took away the towel she could see Caitlin's erect nipples through her wet suit.

She was scared Caitlin might do something foolish like that time last summer in the dinghy, when she'd taken off the top of the same bikini, just to see if anyone would notice. An older couple pa.s.sing in a canoe waved at them, as if nothing were unusual. Caitlin had waved back while Vix picked up the oars and began to row as fast as she could in the opposite direction. "Maybe they thought I was a boy," Caitlin said, disgusted. "Bet they'd have noticed if I was stark naked."

"Why would you want them to notice in the first place?"

"So I don't feel invisible."

How could Caitlin possibly feel invisible?

This time Vix threw Caitlin her sweatshirt and was relieved when she pulled it over her head without taking off her suit.