I had no idea how I made it through the rest of the workday. I remembered nothing of it until I found myself home, alone in my apartment; the outside sounds of the street and world a small hum in the distance.

With my lips still burning and body still aching, I opened my laptop and started typing. My mother was right, and so was Mandy. I needed a man. One to go out with, and have fun with, maybe even have meaningless s.e.x with. I needed to forget about Kevin and being married and everything I might have had if it weren't for his stupid infidelity.

20 something years young, pet.i.te, curvaceous - intelligent woman seeking a gentlemen with... That makes me sound like I have a stick up my bottom. Okay, more honest.

20 something, loves long walks... Now I sound like a freaking greeting card.

27-year-old bitter b.i.t.c.h that just found her fiance banging a younger, hotter model needs a well-endowed man not afraid to hammer her till the break of f.u.c.king dawn.

Yeah. That's perfect. I'll email Mandy and ask for input on it tomorrow.

Yes. Tomorrow. There's going to be a new and improved Lexa around.

11.

Jameson

"I've been making way too many sober decisions. I'm gonna need a beer as cold as my ex's heart." @Kavon #Brrrr I put more chocolate on her desk. I didn't even think she knew it had been me putting it there the whole time, but she ate it all the same. The kiss...I messed up. Christ, she's all I think about. G.o.d only knew what was going on in that head of hers. I knew it was too soon for her to want someone else. h.e.l.l, she was probably still going to end up marrying that jacka.s.s.

What the? There was something on her desk.

A singles profile?

I had five minutes to get to our content conference. I fisted the stupid singles ad in my hand and stormed into the meeting, utterly outraged. She was going to brush off that kiss? For some computerized matchmaking adventure? h.e.l.l no. Not happening.

She was dressed for work in one h.e.l.l of a s.e.xy outfit. It wasn't even the outfit that was s.e.xy. It was her making the outfit look s.e.xy. Jesus. This woman was tearing me up with that body.

The papers fluttered out of my grasp and my hands itched to touch her. I tried to get her attention as I bent down and yanked them up off the floor in a fury. I was fuming inside. Livid. I called her last night-she never called me back. Apparently, I gave her the s.h.i.ttiest kiss in history and she'd rather find some serial killer from a dating website. I walked up to her and shoved the papers into her hands. "What the h.e.l.l is this?" I hissed in her ear.

Her eyes just about popped out of her skull. "You went through my desk? First you say c.r.a.p to that a.s.shole, now this?" She jammed her hands on her hips like she was just about to throw down with me.

"Oh stop. I came to see you this morning. It was right on top of your little calendar thingy and I read it." She stood there giving me the stink eye as if my excuse wasn't good enough for her. "f.u.c.k yes I looked at your s.h.i.t. G.o.d, you stand there and look like...I can't even make something up, you're all distracting looking. Anyway, what is this?" I demanded, flicking the paper an inch away from her face.

"Are you illiterate?" she asked, eyes darting around the room to see who was listening.

I moved in closer and growled, "It's a FindingLove website application. Lexa, you don't need this c.r.a.p."

"Everybody thinks it's a good idea. They match your personalities with people who are like you," she whispered.

"Where the h.e.l.l is the fun in that? There's no way you should be doing that. I can't in good faith sit back and watch this atrocity unfold. No way. I will not be held responsible if one of those suitors turns out to be an axe-wielding thumb-sucking monster, or another Trager, or some rambling incoherent bore who would never kiss you the way I kissed you yesterday."

Her eyes almost defied the laws of biology they bulged so far out of her skull.

"Stop. It's scary enough, okay. Just talking about going back to the dating scene is terrifying. Why people feel the need to be with someone is beyond me. I had nightmares last night of huge c.o.c.ked mutants dragging me to dates at my almost mother-in-law's house. And you are my boss. We will never mention that silly little kiss again."

"What?" I growled.

"I said silly little kiss," she whispered through gritted teeth.

"I wasn't asking what because I'm deaf. I'm asking it so you have another chance to change that dumba.s.s answer. Silly kiss, my a.s.s," I snapped, crumpling up the singles ad in her face and tossing it. Her face blanched white. s.h.i.t. I stepped back, utterly horrified by the way I just acted toward her. I was...I was growling.

People filed in, talking and laughing. Sophia rolled her eyes in Lexa's direction. "h.e.l.lo, James. You look awful. What happened? Haven't been sleeping well?" she smirked as she walked past us.

"I spent the night thinking about something silly," I growled. Jesus. I was still growling. Clenching my teeth together, eyes boring into Lexa's, and answering the wh.o.r.e at the same time, "G.o.dd.a.m.n silliest thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't stop thinking about it." Lexa stared at me, biting down on her lip so she didn't smile. She stumbled back, taking the first seat she could grab onto at the conference table.

I watched her move. Listened to her talk. Listened as my father ranted about ratings, advertis.e.m.e.nt, and marketing. Sophia tried to take over the conference with ideas about the elusive Alex Kavon and I realized that was the exact reason she was s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g Trager. She was trying to climb up the ladder here, trying to use Trager to get to Alex. She really acted as if she thought Trager was Alex. Maybe Lexa wouldn't even know if Kevin was Alex.

Lexa interrupted her as if she wasn't even there, "Mr. Holt I would really appreciate the chance to show you a column or two of what I've been working on. I think..."

"I don't need anymore fluffy woman's c.r.a.p. I want strength and character, brawn, and to h.e.l.l with being politically correct. I want funny and well-you're just a fact checker. That's all we need you to be," my father continued his tirade, slamming his palms down on the conference table, making everyone around him stutter and jump. Everyone save me. I sat and stared at Lexa. I was still growling.

I have no idea what the rest of the meeting was about. None.

All I know is Lexa was p.i.s.sed off at me. Was it the kiss? s.h.i.t, I needed to find out.

12.

Lexa

"The best way to get over your ex is probably going at least 100 in the vehicle of your choice." @Kavon #WhereCanIBuyATank He's late. It was probably the eleventy-hundredth time I checked my watch. We'd been drinking and talking for an hour. I sat there and moped with Mandy and Leslie with their fruity martinis and Frank and Thomas with their shots of Tequila. Frank with his hands on my shoulders, pecking kisses on my cheek, telling me I looked incredibly beautiful to him. Men are all idiots. Especially taken ones.

Then James and Evan walked in. He'd changed out of his suit into a pair of faded jeans and a fitted t-shirt. He was one of those men that didn't walk-he sauntered. Confidence and power followed him. He was captivating and alluring. And I needed to remember he was one of my bosses and forget he'd given me the most heated kissed I'd ever had in my life.

Stop. Don't think about it.

Everything beneath my waist ignored my pleas and started throbbing immediately. I couldn't blame my girl parts-they'd been underappreciated for so long.

The minute he made it to our table, Mandy blurted out, "G.o.d, you're gorgeous. How do you not want to touch yourself all the time?"

"That's exactly what I think about most women!" Evan barked, sliding into the seat next to Mandy, completely undressing her with his pervy eyes. "And my G.o.d, are you beautiful. What are you drinking?"

"Watermelon martini," she smiled, eye-undressing him right back. I fanned myself and wiggled uncomfortably in my seat. It was as if someone turned on the mating season episode on the Discovery channel.

Evan snapped his fingers in Thomas's face. "Thomas! Thomas? Here's some cash," he threw a hundred dollar bill down in front of him. "Go get another round. Be gone man. Be gone!"

"Evan Peterson! Do you think you can charm me into bed with your smooth talking, your good looks, and free martinis?" Mandy teased, flipping her hair behind her.

"Definitely," he smirked.

"Then you sir, are in for the night of your life."

"Marry me?" Evan laughed, hanging his hand over the back of her chair. Ew, what a creep.

Everyone seated at the table did a collective eye roll. Funniest synchronization I'd ever seen.

"Hey," James said quietly, sitting down next to me. "Sorry we got here so late. Evan is more of a girl than any girl I have ever met." He slid close to me and the warmth radiating off his body sent a shiver across my shoulders. "Took him an hour to get his hair perfect."

On my other side, Frank moved closer to me as well-which was all sorts of awkward, since I'm friends with the girl he is dating and he'd been acting like a horndog since we all arrived. "Do you need another drink, Lex?"

"Nope. I'm good thanks," I clipped. Then his knee b.u.mped into my knee, which made me move closer to James, and that made me almost burst into flames. Flashes of being the main character in a menage a trois man-sandwich between the two of them zipped through my brain. I might have even exhaled one of those breathy p.o.r.no gasp-moans. Okay, there was no might about it-I did it. It was all breathy and raspy and every person at the table turned their heads to look at me.

I waved to all of them.

"Now that looks like a yummy man-sandwich," Mandy teased from her seat with a wink.

I know, right? Thank G.o.d, I hadn't drunk enough to say it aloud. But I sure was thinking it.

"Hey, Holt? She needs to loosen up and find someone who will teach her how to forget her cheating a.s.s of an ex. Someone with a way bigger d.i.c.k then Trager the Mailroom guy," Mandy drunkenly yelled across the table. I loaded my mouth full of tortilla chips and salsa from the table so I didn't have to say anything. But in my head, I was plotting one thousand and one ways to kill my best friend without getting caught. He laughed as if she didn't just say the most humiliating thing ever, thank G.o.d.

"Are you mad at me?" His voice was husky and low, and extremely close to my ear.

I almost choked on the chips. Dying by chips, that's so something I would do. I sighed and leaned closer to him so no one else would hear. "I'm more upset about your father never giving me, the lowly fact checker, a chance to speak."

I felt his hand move to lean on the edge of my chair. The motion brought his thumb to my knee and I felt him touch me lightly. "The magazine is dying. We're thinking of pulling it." He crunched on a chip, and how in all that is good and holy did he make it look so sensual? It's a chip. Annnnd, I think his thumb was making circles on my skin. Yep, there was inappropriate but very much wanted under the table knee touching action going down.

"I love the magazine. I loved your mother's goals for it. It was snarky and fun and edgy. I'd hate to see it fail," I said.

The thumb circling stopped and he reached for more chips. Some salsa got on his finger and he licked it off. I wanted to be a chip. I wanted to be his fingers. What was wrong with me?

"My mother would have wanted us to fight more for it," he said.

"Yeah. She would have. And she also would have listened to ideas from lowly fact checkers," I smirked and crossed my arms over my chest.

"You knew my mother?" he asked, leaning in even closer.

"We used to have lunch every Friday before she became sick," I replied, shrugging my shoulders-it's not something that someone like him would have known about. I was never on his radar and he was never on mine.

The way his eyes darted up to mine-the intense gaze he gave me spread a fire over my face and down my neck. You're so hot... Can I put my v.a.g.i.n.a on your face, just for a little bit? Ordering seltzer water for the rest of the night sounded like a good plan to keep my mouth safe from spewing the wrong things.

"You two should just kiss. You look like you desperately want to..." Mandy started yelling.

"Boss!" I hissed at her across the table. "Mind your own v.a.g.i.n.a and deal with Pervy Pants Peterson over there."

I rubbed my hands down my face and looked back up at Jameson. "I'm so sorry; she should come with a WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not." I swiped another chip into the salsa jar and shoved it in my mouth. I'm eating so much my hand is going to get stuck in the jar of salsa and I'm just going leave it in there. This is who I am now. I'm tired of fighting it.

He shifted toward me; both his hands leaned heavily on the edge of my chair with both his thumbs touching the bare skin of my knees. His eyes were staring at my lips and all I wanted was for him to slide those hot hands up my legs and spread my thighs wide. Pin me down with his knees and do stuff.

I felt a sharp poke in my back and whirled my head around to see what was going on behind me. Frank nudged me and pointed a finger to the door.

Night ruined. Sophia had just walked in with a bunch of others suits from the office, including Kevin. Ugh. This bar just got trashy. Frank rubbed my arm and whispered in my ear, "Come on, let me get you out of here. I'll drop you off at home, beautiful."

"Yeah. I guess so. Let me just use the restroom and we can go," I answered with a sigh.

Mandy looked up from Evan's gaze. "What, you're leaving? Really? Now?"

I nodded my head toward the door and stood up. "Yeah. Going to hit the restroom alone and then go. I don't feel up to that tonight." I slid my purse off the table without looking at anyone and walked to the back of the crowded bar where the bathrooms were. I didn't really need to go. I just needed a minute-maybe splash some water on my face or something. It was humiliating enough to be cheated on right before your wedding-seeing them together and her smug look of triumph wasn't something I wanted to give her power over. So I pressed cold water on the back of my neck for five minutes to gain enough sense to go back out there and deal with whatever they would try to mortify me with.

As soon as I exited the bathroom, a large, warm body had me pressed into the wall. Jameson's face dipped into the curve of my neck and his hot breath wrecked havoc against my ear. "You're going home with someone else?" his voice was nothing but a deep, hungry growl.

"It's Frank. I'm not going home with him. He's just going to drop...."

"There's no way I'm letting you leave with him," he growled, again. What's with all the growling?

"f.u.c.k you. f.u.c.k you and him and her. I can leave this bar with anybody I want to. What if I want to be just like the rest of you and not care where my v.a.g.i.n.a wakes up for once? I want to not care and just have fun, just do something wild, like he said I never did, the reasons he screwed someone else behind my back." Well, there went some more verbal vomit I was always trying to filter.

"Is that what you want? Tell me want you want," he demanded, leaning his body way too inappropriately close for a boss to be.

I tried to lift my arms to push him off me, but the minute my hands touched his chest they had a mind of their own, gripping onto his shirt and pulling him closer. "What is it you want?" I asked him back.

"You, I just want you." His face brushed against mine, his cheek to mine, and his hands fell heavily to my waist. Fingers dug into my skirt, pressing into my hips and holding me tighter against the wall.

"Tell me what you need, Lex."

More unfiltered babble started pouring out of the giant, gaping hole in my face. "This morning I walked into the f.u.c.king lounge where your ex was dry humping mine after he spent the night on the phone trying to tell me how sorry he was, again. How we should still get married, because he still loves me." It was so stupid to still be harping about. So stupid. I didn't want to be faced with it anymore and I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I slid my sweaty palms down my skirt then back to his shirt and just looked at him. He was so close and he was so handsome, I just couldn't hold back. "And you know what? That kiss between us, Jameson? That KISS? It had me asking myself who the h.e.l.l Trager was. I'm being a total emotion wh.o.r.e with you, telling you everything. And, G.o.d, James, that kiss?"

"Confession time," he breathed, trembling. Oh, my good G.o.d, the man was trembling.

"Yeah, what's that?" I whispered, hands gripping firmer, wetting my lips with my tongue.

"I'm glad Trager didn't know what he had," he whispered, brushing his nose against mine.

"I'm glad, too."

"Life is chock full of surprises, isn't it?" His lips brushed over the corner of mine. They weren't touching me-no they were breathing me in, hovering over me, driving me so absolutely insane I had to squeeze my thighs together.