Chapter 195 - On the Meaning of Our Existence

Translated by Eve

Edited by Serefina

3. On the Meaning of Our Existence

666Although I really want to stop talking, you should have also realized that youve been played. This means that, at the very least, he has already figured out who you were in the previous world. This is an extremely important matter. How did he find out? And what explanation will you give to him? Telling him the truth would be counter-intuitive to your goal.

Lu TingThen Ill just continue to deceive him.

666Excuse my franknessbut you may not necessarily be able to deceive him.

Lu TingMaybe I cant. But dont you forget that the amount of information we have is not the same. It was probably difficult for him to guess this much.He only knows that those people had been me. He doesnt know why. He probably just hates me all the more because of this.

Lu TingThis is the last round. He has to win.

Lu Ting let go of Xie He, his expression turning cold once more. He nearly threw Xie He onto the ground.

Xie He sighed helplessly. He squinted his eyes at the other man. Youre still pretending? Isnt it a little late?

Lu Ting pressed his lips into a straight line. Pretending about what?

Xie He stood before him, his lips curled up. His voice was quiet and full of meaning. Uncle Liang? Prince Su? And all those before themthey had all been you, right?

Lu Ting stared at Xie He. A long time later, he smiled, unfl.u.s.tered. He c.o.c.ked a brow. Yes.

Xie He nodded. I hadnt been sure. Didnt think youd admit to it so easily.

Lu Ting shrugged and looked indifferent. There was ridicule in his eyes. Theres no reason not to admit to it. Its just a game to me. You should have known that.

Xie He said, But you told me you loved me in every world.

Lu Tings voice was frosty. I dont love you. It was all pretend. Didnt you already know that?

Xie He smiled. Then why arent you pretending to be head-over-heels for me now? Wouldnt it be easier to increase my Favourability Value like that?

Lu Ting sneered. Because Im tired of playing. I dont need your Favourability points. Dont think so highly of yourself.

After saying this, he left, as if he didnt want to spend another second with Xie He.

Lu Ting hadnt gone very far when he heard the systems notification. He paused.

Ding, the target Xie Hes Favourability Value +20. The current Favourability Value is 40.

666Boss, hes purposely doing the opposite of what you want.

Lu TingIts fine. He wont fall in love with me anyway.

Xie Hes mocking laughter echoed behind him. This is a reward for you putting on an act and saying the opposite of how you truly feel. Take it.

Lu Ting didnt look back. He returned to the hall.

Shortly after, Lu Ting heard 666 tell him that Xie He had left so he wouldnt b.u.mp into Xie He again. Only then did Lu Ting leave the hotel and return home.

666Boss, according to the information Xie He leaked today, he must have suspected you for a long time now. He knew who you were but he still chose to use such extreme measures. Excuse my frankness, but hes been purposely doing things to upset you. 666 was extremely angry at Xie He, who knew the truth but had still intentionally stabbed at his hosts heart. 666 had watched helplessly throughout all those worlds. His heart had hurt badly.

Lu TingIts my fault. I left him first.

Lu TingIts only expected that hes furious.

Actually, Lu Ting wasnt completely ignorant of this fact. From the third world onwards, he had begun to feel like Xie He was aiming at him. But it wasnt until today that his suspicions had been confirmed.

666 was still very unhappy. He was about to continue speaking when he saw Lu Tings expression morph into one of restrained pain. The veins in his forehead throbbed violently and he clutched at the marble dining table with both hands, turning one of the sides into powder!

666 said with concernIts been happening more frequently.

Lu TingIts fine. Ill be okay in a minute.

666The system stipulates that for every ten worlds transmigrated, hosts can choose one world as a vacation to recuperate. This is a regulated benefit that had been implemented after a considerable amount of strict scientific evidence had been a.n.a.lyzed. Its a protection mechanism for hostsbut youve already transmigrated through ninety-eight high-level worlds without rest.

Lu Ting pursed his lips tightly, his eyes bloodshot. He didnt even reply to 666 with his thoughts. It took a whole minute before he could speak. With a hoa.r.s.e voice he said, I was afraid. That I wouldnt make it in time.

He then shut his eyes and fell over.

666 looked at Lu Ting, who now laid on the ground. He regretted not having hands, which meant that he had no way of dragging his show-off host to the bed.

Lu Ting looked like he was only sleeping, but 666 knew that that wasnt the case. This was a self-defense mechanism that occurred after ones soul was pushed to the limit.

His host had never taken a break since leaving this world thirteen years ago. He had transmigrated to ninety-eight worlds for the sake of being able to acc.u.mulate enough experience points to upgrade his system. It was all so that he could obtain the greatest leverage for his negotiations with the main system in the shortest time possible.

These ninety-eight worlds were not mere E-ranked love conquest worlds like the one Xie He resided in. According to the systems ranking, E-ranked worlds were extremely simple and there was no risk to ones life. It was considered a relaxing world. But worlds with a ranking of B or higher meant that there would be a risk of death.

However, the lowest rank Lu Ting had ever chosen was B. After gaining some strength, he had then begun to only choose A-ranked worlds. He had also taken on eighteen SS-ranked nightmare-mode worlds and nine SSS-ranked h.e.l.l-mode worlds. Countless hosts had been frightened out of those worlds but Lu Ting had persevered.He had received many missions, including ones related to cultivation,

xuanhuan,

suspense, power struggles, ma.s.sacres, escaping for ones life, etc. But he had never again taken on a love conquest mission.

666 had personally watched as Lu Ting had walked along the edge of death countless timesk2026;.It was just a trifling thirteen years for Xie He, but Lu Ting had experienced 874 years.

666 had risen from an ordinary level five system to the highest level 12 system. In the beginning, his pride had swelled a bit from how quickly he had advanced. But later, he became more reticent. He didnt like to show off anymore. This was because he thought that there was no need to advance so quickly.

The systems that envied him or admired him didnt know how serious things really were.

Even though 666 was a level 12 system, he couldnt lessen Lu Tings pain.

Although the systems protection mechanisms were perfect, there was a limit to them.The grave consequences of the pressure Lu Tings soul had borne while completing ninety-eight A-ranked and higher worlds vastly exceeded what the system protection mechanisms covered. Lu Ting had to bear with it on his own. Furthermore, while transmigrating with Xie He through those worlds, Lu Ting had incessantly split his soul and implanted chips of it into the other capturable targets so that he could help Xie He obtain more experience points while evading the main systems surveillance. This caused even greater harm to his soul.

After so much painstaking effort, he was finally able to come back here. 666 had originally thought that Lu Ting could relax during the last twelve worlds. If he could be with the person he loved, it wouldnt be so painful, right?

These worlds were simple love conquest worldsthey were way more relaxed and happy compared to the previous worlds Lu Ting had experienced. Although he had to execute his mission perfectly under the main systems surveillance and could not OOC, at least there was no need to put his life on the line. He didnt have to face hards.h.i.+ps or experience extreme danger. There were no b.l.o.o.d.y ma.s.sacres or terrifying killing scenesthey could relax a bit.

But in reality, Lu Tings mental state worsened even more quickly than it had in the past. The pressure and psychological pain was worse than before.

Starting from the third worldthe main system had started to suspect that Lu Ting was losing on purpose, so it upped the worlds difficulty and sealed his memories.He was with the person he loved, but he was constantly tortured by the pain that came from having to hurt his beloved and being hurt in return.

Over and over again, he had to suffer losing the person he loved.

Even though he used expensive psychosuppressants the entire timethere were still signs of him losing control of his mind.

666 didnt understand why Lu Ting was doing this. He thought that systems could not understand human emotions.Even he could not make accurate calculations. In his opinion, how was that love that lasted a mere seven years worth what Lu Ting had to go through?

Why did he have to go so far? He risked his life, split his soul, did everything he couldall for someone who would never love him back.

666 had once said to Lu Ting indignantly:

Why must you go back? Maybe Xie He has already forgotten about you. Hes probably not waiting for you at all. Hes been getting it on with all those other hosts after all.

Lu Ting said:

This is an obsession.

Whats an obsession

? 666 hadnt understood. These emotions were too complicated. He had added obsession to his manual on a.n.a.lyzing human emotions and had decided to improve his manual to make it more comprehensive.

In any case, 666 didnt like Xie He.

Although he was a system, he had been amongst humans for a long time. He had learned another word: Biased.

He just wanted his host to be able to relax, even if it was just a bit.

Xie He returned home, his expression gradually sinking as he walked in.

444 began to make a fussHost

dada

, ah ah ah ah. Oh my gosh, ah ah ah. The capture targets of the previous worlds were all him? ( |||)How was that possible? 444 didnt understand at all. How could such weird worlds exist? It was impossible. How could the main system let Host

dada

capture another host?! Hosts couldnt be captured, ah! 444 was dumbfounded.

Xie HeBaby, didnt I already tell you? That someones been capturing me all along? Smile.JPG

444What?! He had thought Host

dada

had meant before he had been bound to a system.

Xie HeBaby, have you ever thought about the meaning of your existence? Where you come from and to where youll go?

444Im a system. Im just a bunch of data.

Xie HeIve thought about it.

444 cautiously saidIf its humansthen you came from your parents, right?That should be correct, right?

Xie He laughed. His laughter sounded very relaxed and happy.

Xie HeThats right, Baby. I like you so much. Youre truly a little cutie who makes people happy.

444He never feels happy when Host

dada

says something like this. He always wonders if hes said something ridiculous._(:)_

Xie He laughed for a while before saying, Every day, I wonder where my world came from and what kind of existence I have. Why is my love different from the love of everyone else? Why doesnt the main system send hosts to capture the love of Xie Xi or someone else? Whymust it be me?

I had pondered over this problem for many years. In the end, you were the one to give me the answer.

444Me? ( |||)Shocked. When did he ever answer such a profound question?

Xie Hes lips pulled into a smile. When you bonded with me, I had asked you a question. You responded like this:

A Host is a transmigrator from the main world that has been bound to a system. They transmigrate to different, secondary worlds and obtain experience points by capturing different targets. The capture targets are people of fate in their respective worlds. They are typically called the protagonists or bosses. As long as you max their Favourability Value, you can obtain experience points.

444This is from theThe Manual for Love Conquest Worlds._(:)_

Xie Hes eyes darkened. His voice grew quiet, as if he was sighing powerlessly. Yes. This is the official phrasing you systems use. But it answered my question.

The main world, transmigrator, secondary worlds, people of fate, experience points.

444I-is there a problem? Stupefied.JPG

Why does this world exist? The relations.h.i.+p between the main world and the secondary worlds; the effect people of fate have on secondary worlds; experience pointswhat does they all mean? Is this another method of comparing things using a different kind of known currency? Why does the system store have everything? Why is the difference in buying price and selling price so big? Andwhy does all of this exist? Xie He tapped his fingers against the table a few times and flashed a self-deprecating smile. A long while later, he said in a cool tone, Forget it.You dont need to understand this. Come look at my treasures.

After saying this, he opened the safe in his study and pulled out two alb.u.ms.

444 felt his data tremble when he saw Xie He pull out the alb.u.ms. He really didnt have any interest in Host

dada

s exes.Contrary to his wishes, Xie He still flipped them open.

There was a faint smile on Xie Hes lips. Heafter he left, hosts didnt appear all that frequently at first. But when I had seen how the people who told me they loved me all left me so ruthlesslyI had thought that I was cursed. Of course, over timeI started to realize that something was wrong. Rather than believe in an illusory curse, I thought that this was more likely a premeditated scheme.

I started to wonder, why was this happening? I carefully collected data and a.n.a.lyzed the hosts actions, appearances and habits. Slowlyeven though they couldnt OOC, I gained the ability to easily differentiate them from the ma.s.ses.

No one can trick me. None of them could.No matter what kind of scheme it was, I would never allow anyone to control my fate. There had been a time where I had thought that I had done all the preparations that I could, that I found a way to break free of my imprisonment. I had thought that I could choose to be with an original inhabitant of this worldsomeone who didnt have any other motives. I had thought that by staying away from the hosts that wanted to capture me, I could have a genuine long-term relations.h.i.+p with someone.That only lasted until I met Host 23.

444What did Host 23 do?In the beginning, 444 hadnt wanted to listen, but he was now curious upon hearing Host

dada

speak. _(:)_

Number 23, ah Xie He flipped open the fourth alb.u.m and stroked the picture beneath his hand. There was a strange smile on his lips. This was a really devious person. When he arrived, I had already been dating an original inhabitant. He had been a really cute kid. I really liked him. So 23 had no way of approaching me. He had tried to get me to fall for him but how could I possibly fall for him? His acting was so botched. Therefore, I rejected him ruthlessly.

444And then? Curious.JPG

And then, my boyfriend died. Xie Hes smile slowly turned cold. He set up an accident and killed my boyfriend. He then tried to come comfort me, who had just lost my boyfriend, pretending to care.

444Oh my G.o.d. He had only wanted to hear a melodramatic romance. Why did it suddenly turn into a homicide drama? QAQ

444Thendid you kill him?He felt like Host

dada

seemed very unhappy right now.

The corner of Xie Hes lips curled up. A bark of laughter echoed in the room. No. I have no interest in such a crude thing like killing people.

444(o) Oh!He didnt expect Host

dada

to be such a saint. Even he had been angry at what Host 23 had done.

Xie He continued, I just played a game of

love and pain with him,

just like he wanted. He then failed to live up to my expectations and chose to end the game by himself. How regretful. I hadnt played enough.

444

Xie He seemed to not be very interested in number 23. He continued to flip to the back of the alb.u.m. A smile emerged on his lips. This was host number 36. He was really interesting.

444How so?He had a bad feeling about htis.He was already scarred.

Xie He said, Things were getting heated between a little celebrity with whom I had been friends with benefits. I fell for him a bit and had thought about dating him.But one morning, when I woke up, I discovered that the gaze of the person sleeping next to me had changed.

444Why did he feel like his blood had turned cold? It was like he was listening to a scary story! He didnt want to listen! Scared.JPG

Xie He said in a relaxed tone, I sounded him out a bit and knew at once that someone had transmigrated into his body. From that day on, I stopped dating original inhabitants of this world.

Right, there was also my previous a.s.sistant. Originally, he had been a very capable middle-aged man. I had really appreciated him and had thought that his future prospects were boundless. He had a beautiful family. But one day, he got a divorce all of a sudden and tried to seduce me.When he failed, he tried to sell out company secrets to attack me. He probably thought that hed be able to get my attention like this. After that failed, he died in a car accident.

But I pitied his poor wife and daughter. Although I gave them a large sum of money, I could never make up for all the other harm they suffered.

For some time, I didnt let anyone get close to me. I just wanted some peacebut hosts would always find a way to turn my world upside down with their systems cheats.

444Host

dada

. QAQ

Xie HeBaby, do you think this is fun?

444Not fun, not fun, its not fun at all!!!

Xie HeWhen I finally accepted my situation, I actually found it pretty fun.Every day was full of surprises. Later on, the rate the hosts came increased and they used a larger variety of tricks. They never disappointed me. ?

Xie HeSince its a game and I wont be able to have the peaceful life I want no matter what I do, I might as well play along with them. Its also a way to pa.s.s the time.

444QAQ

Xie HeBaby, do you know why I think youre cute? I truly mean it as a compliment. Sometimes, being able to be deceived is a blessing.

444

Xie He shut his eyes. No one had ever managed to trick him. It was a bit of a pity.

After a while, Xie He slowly stood up and closed the alb.u.m, locking it back up in the safe. Every once in a while, he flipped through these alb.u.ms, reminding himself that these things had yet to end..

Fate? No, he didnt believe in fate. His fate was in his own hands.

If his world was nothing more than a game and this game was never completed by anyone, how would it affect the world? If a tiny ant, an unremarkable BUG, could become an uncapturable hole in the systemwhat consequences would that bring?

He had really wanted to see it.He had waited and waited until he had been given the accomplishment for rejecting a hundred hosts. That was when the main system appeared. It could not tolerate Xie He anymore, so it proposed a deal.

Escape medicinethe only chance he had to break free of his fate.That was a tempting offer he could not refuse.

Therefore, even though he knew he was walking into a trap, he had gladly agreed.

He could not lose. Not even once.

Xie He fell asleep and woke up refreshed the next morning. He then went to work as if nothing had happened last night. But 444 still felt upset. Although Host

dada

had spoken very cheerfully and had acted unaffected, why did he feel like Host

dada

was actually very unhappy.

444 was gloomy all day. He didnt go out to play. He didnt even respond to the messages 666 and the others had sent him.

Aside from working, Xie He also read over the doc.u.ments Fang Nan had given him regarding Lu Ting. He still had people monitor Lu Ting, but he didnt do anything else. 444 didnt understand. Host

dada

was obviously the capture target this time butwhy did it feel the same as it had been in the past?

This was truly a strange world. The host was acting pa.s.sive, slacking off and not doing anything, whereas the capture target was working very enthusiastically. It was a complete reversal.

Even though he was being captured, Host

dada

still wanted everything to be in his control. This had indeed always been his style.

Although neither party intentionally planned to see each other again, since Lu Ting had come back and re-joined the upper social circles, they would occasionally meet. One month later, Xie He once again encountered Lu Ting at a club.

Xie He had never been single for this long. His friends all thought it was strange, so they decided to introduce him to a few beautiful men. As long as they didnt datethe others life wouldnt be in dangerright?

Xie He went along with this happily. He hadnt expected for Lu Ting to be here. Lu Ting had come here at the invitation of someone else. That person also hadnt expected for Xie He to come. As soon as this person had realized that they had let these two exes accidentally meet, he felt awkward. But it wasnt like they could tell one of them to leave.

That person thought that, in any case, the person Lu Ting liked was Xie Xi. Furthermore, Xie He has had so many boyfriends since their breakup. Therefore, there was no need to worry about this..

Very quickly, people brought over a few guys they wanted to introduce to Xie He.

Xie He didnt even glance at Lu Ting. He looked at the men who were brought in, very interested. He chose one who fit his tastes and pulled that person in his arms. He teased, Whats your name?

The man weakly said, Im

Xiao

Han.

Obviously it wasnt his real name. Xie He didnt mind. He had no interest staying here so he wrapped an arm around the younger man and left.

Lu Ting, who was drinking wine, had to use all his mental energy to control his strength. Only then was he able to prevent himself from pinching the gla.s.s to pieces!

Lu TingAh? And he says that I have bad taste? As if his taste is that great, huh? Hes even interested in trash like that?! Hes already slept with a lot of that type when I hadnt been around!!!

666Calm down! At least you can comfort yourself with the fact that hes never really fallen in love with any of them.

Lu Ting stood up suddenly and followed Xie He out.

The people inside the private room all exchanged glances.Didthey have to keep this in mind in the future? Would it be best to make sure they didnt meet again?

Xie He took his time, leading the younger man to the prepared guest room. He had just turned the corner when he felt a hand press down on his shoulder. He turned to look past his shoulder and flashed a courteous smile. President Lu, whats the matter?

Lu Ting felt stifled. He couldnt say that he was jealous, could he? His gaze s.h.i.+fted and he looked at the boy. I also like him.

Xie He: .

Lu Ting loosened his tie and said in a frigid tone, What? Cant bear to part with him?

Xie He coughed quietly. You purposely came over here to make things difficult for me, didnt you?

The younger man watched as these two important figuresneither of whom he could offendgot up into arms over him. He was so frightened he started to tremble. It felt like he was the Gary Stu protagonist of an idol dramabut why did it feel so scary? Was he really so charming?

Xie He noticed his. He smiled gently at the younger man. You can leave first. Ill come find you later.

The younger man looked like he had been granted amnesty. He didnt dare look at Lu Ting and simply ran away.

Lu Ting watched as the younger man left and was about to follow when Xie He suddenly pulled him by the tie and pushed him against the wall. Immediately after, Xie He pressed in close, his lips nearly touching Lu Tings ears. His voice was low and his warm breath grazed Lu Tings ears. Why dont you play with me instead?

Xie He smiled, a hand stroking Lu Tings neck. He dug his fingernails into the others flesh.

Lu Tings eyes darkened at once. A dangerous expression appeared in his eyes. You want to top me?

Lu TingThis scoundrel! Does he only ever think about s.e.x?!

666I agree! I also really hate this scoundrel! He taught the naive and adorable 444 bad things! Hes always talking about s.e.x or preaching about cynicism! But Boss, you have to calm down! Dont fall into his trap! According to what Ive seen in the previous worlds, every time you sleep with him, his Favourability Value will rise!

Lu TingHey, theres something wrong with what you just said. I dont hate him.

666Calm down, calm down! A system will also be censored if he swears!

The author has something to say:

Huu~ Finally reached the top of the iceberg. Its starting to converge with the foreshadowing from the beginning. The world will slowly be revealed~

No character in this novel is perfect. Whether its the gong or the shou, both of them have their own selfish and dark sides. However, they also have their good points. Life as a human struggling to survive against fate is complicated. This author knows that there will inevitably be some angels that cant accept the gong or the shou. However, I still want to write the things Ive envisioned. Although Lu Ting is sc.u.mmy, he is the only person who is both willing and able to help President Xie. 444 cant help President Xie because hes still a child. Dont make him carry too heavy a burden 23333. Let him be the only sweet naive child in this novel who will be pampered to the end.

There is no one in the world that can be liked by everyone. Furthermore, our gong isnt your typical mainstream sweet doting gong. This novel isnt a very carefree novel. But its about being helpless in the shadows, only to choose to eliminate the darkness and walk towards the light. This author took a risk and went against what was popular to write an angsty novel. I was mentally prepared to set such settings. Theres no helping it. Its not like I dont want to write a silly, cute, naive story, but its not my taste so I cant write it out~ I prefer stories where we find rainbows at the end of a storm. When people become better because of love. Although this is still a brainless story for people to relish in sc.u.m abuse, I still want to express what I want to express.

Lastly, thank you to all the darlings that understand me and support me. Im grateful. Thumb heart~

Eve: If my math is correctXie He is 33 years old. Interesting tidbit. Anyway, just because someone seems strong, doesnt mean they cant hurt. The dialogue between Xie He and 444 about the hosts hurt me so badly. Also, the author and I have the same taste. I can go through almost anything for a happy ending. And definitely prefer to have pain before sweetness hahahaha. I rarely read straight fluff. Why am I like this.

sere: d.a.m.n wow the authors note made the book a lot deeper than just sc.u.m abuse XD (but im ok with straight fluff :333 this story is an exception for when im angsty ok it satisfies a dark urge within me) anyway big sad for LT and is big angst.