'Why doesn't she call him sister too...' sniggered Clever in the background.

Now they all went together to the main room, where they sat and drank a while. After a few cups of wine Clever began teasing him: 'Tell me, do eunuchs get excited too, when they see a beautiful woman?'

'The cripple,' replied Lian, 'can never forget the joy of walkiing. Nor the blind man forget the joy of sight.'

This brought a round of laughter. Clever could see that Tertia was tired, and urged her to go and rest, whereupon Auntie Hua gave her daughter a knowing look, clearly indicating that she was to go with Lian. The girl seemed a little bashful.

'Come,' urged her mother, a little untruthfully, 'he may seem a man, but really he's more of a woman. There's really nothing to fear!'

She chivvied them along, whispering conspiratorially to Lian as he went, 'Between ourselves, you are already as good as my son-in-law, even if to the outside world you are only her adopted brother.'

Lian was delighted and, taking Tertia by the arm, hurried with her to bed. There he set to in earnest, and since his was a newly honed blade, his joy in his newfound accomplishment can be readily imagined. Afterwards the two of them conversed intimately.

'Tell me something about Clever,' he asked her. 'What sort of a person is she?'

'She is a ghost,' replied Tertia, with a matter-of-fact air. 'Such a beautiful girl, but so unlucky! In her lifetime she was married to a Mr Mao, who turned out not to be a real man at all, and even when he was eighteen he was still incapable of you know what... So the poor girl had a sad time of it. She carried her bitterness with her to the grave.'

Lian was astonished by this tale and wondered to himself if Tertia might not be a ghost too. She divined his thoughts.

'No, the truth is, I am a fox. Clever was living here in this tomb on her own and my mother and I had nowhere to go, so she let us move in with her.'

Now Lian was well and truly terrified.

'Don't be afraid,' said Tertia. 'We may be ghost and fox, but we will do you no harm.'

From that day forth, Lian spent his time with them both. They took their meals together and whiled away the days pleasantly in idle conversation. Although he now knew Clever to be a ghost, he was nonetheless greatly attracted to her. But somehow he never had an opportunity to show his feelings. Clever, for her part, found him a gentle, refined person and a witty conversationalist, and was herself drawn to him.

One day, Auntie Hua and her daughter Tertia went out, and as usual they locked Lian up in his room. He felt very much at a loose end and prowled restlessly round and round the room, occasionally calling Clever's name through the door. Clever told one of the maids to try out several keys, and in the end they succeeded in opening the door. Lian whispered something in Clever's ear, and she told the maid to leave them alone in the room, whereupon Lian took her in his arms, carried her over to the bed and embraced her passionately. She began to fondle his crutch, murmuring, 'My poor darling... To have nothing there at all...'

Even as she was speaking, she became aware that her hand had encountered something rather substantial. 'What's this!' she cried in surprise. 'The other day he was a midget and now he's a giant!'

'The other day,' laughed Lian, 'when you first met him, he was just a bit shy. Today he's hurt by the horrid things you've been saying about him... He's angry and puffed up like a frog...'

They lost no time and were soon making love. Afterwards Clever said angrily, 'No wonder Auntie Hua kept you locked away! To think that when those foxes had nowhere to go, I took them in and gave them a home! I even taught Tertia to sew I shared everything I had with them. And in return they wanted to keep you all to themselves!'

Lian comforted her, telling her exactly what had happened to him, but Clever was still resentful.

'You must keep this a secret,' urged Lian. 'Auntie Hua made me promise I would tell no one.'

They were still talking when in came Auntie Hua, and the two of them jumped up in a great fluster. Auntie Hua stood there glowering at them.

'Who opened the door?'

'I did,' confessed Clever, with an awkward smile.

Auntie Hua grew angrier and more voluble than ever.

'But Auntie,' retorted Clever smartly, 'if what you said is true and he's not really a man, then what's all the fuss about!'

Tertia was most distressed to see the two of them at each other's throats and tried her utmost to mediate, eventually succeeding in bringing them round and restoring the peace. Clever had spoken some harsh words, but from now on she did her best to humour Tertia, while Auntie Hua for her part continued to keep a close eye on young Lian, depriving him of any chance to be alone with Clever. All they could do when they encountered each other was to exchange soulful glances.

One day Auntie Hua said to Lian, 'Now that both Tertia and Clever are your wives, it seems to me that you cannot go on living here for ever. You should go home and tell your father and mother how things stand, so that they can make arrangements for a proper marriage.'

She packed a few things for him and urged him to leave. The two girls took a tearful farewell of Lian, especially Clever, who was in a dreadful state and could not stop weeping. Auntie Hua told them to dry their eyes, and hurried Lian on his way.

The moment he found himself out in the open again, the courtyard house had vanished entirely and there was nothing to be seen but a ruined tomb. Auntie Hua accompanied him on to the boat, saying as she left him, 'When you are gone, I shall bring the two girls and rent a house in your part of the world. If you still remember your love for them, come and claim your brides in the ruins of the Li garden.'

And so Lian set off home.

His father had in the meantime been sorely anxious at his son's disappearance and was overjoyed to welcome him home. Lian told him the story of his strange experiences, of Auntie Hua and of how she had promised him the two girls in marriage.

'Never trust the words of a spirit like that,' was the old man's response. 'It's your illness that has saved you. You mark my words. If you'd been a fully fledged man they'd never have let you go. You'd be dead by now.'

'They may not be human like us,' protested Lian, 'but they have true feelings. And they're so quick-witted and so beautiful. If I were truly married to wives such as them, then I'd be able to hold my head up and I'd no longer be a laughing stock.'

His father said nothing but smiled quizzically at his son.

Lian withdrew to his own quarters. In the days that followed he was unbearably frustrated at not having any opportunity to continue testing out his newly discovered virtuosity. Eventually, unable to contain himself any longer, he formed a secret liaison with one of the maids. One thing led to another, and soon they were indulging in full-blown intercourse in broad daylight. Lian was actually hoping in this way to bring his newfound skills to the attention of his parents. One day, a junior maid spied on the two of them while they were at it, and hurried off to inform her mistress. Mrs Fu could not believe her ears and insisted on going to have a peep herself. She was utterly amazed by what she saw, and summoned the maid involved to verify personally her son's newly acquired credentials. She was absolutely delighted by the turn of events, and let it be known to all and sundry that her son was now a properly qualified man and that families of suitable station might present proposals of marriage in the normal way. But Lian confided to his mother that he would marry none but the Hua girls, Tertia and Clever.

'There are so many beautiful women in this world,' complained his mother. 'Why pick a ghost and a fox?'

'If it were not for Auntie Hua, I still wouldn't know what it means to be a man,' replied Lian. 'If I break my word now, I'll only be bringing bad luck on myself.'

In the end his father agreed to go along with the idea, and they sent a servant and a matchmaker to discuss the marriage with Auntie Hua. The two of them took a carriage and made their way a couple of miles east of the town, searching for the ruins of the Li family garden. In a bamboo grove, they saw a thread of smoke rising into the sky from a broken-down cottage. The old crone of a matchmaker stepped down from her carriage and went straight to the door, where she found Auntie Hua and her daughter sweeping and cleaning, as if they were expecting a visitor. The matchmaker introduced herself and explained her mission, and when she saw Tertia close to, gave a little cry of delighted surprise.

'So this is your daughter, the young master's wife-to-be! What a lovely young lady, to be sure! No wonder the young master dreams about her day and night!'

She asked about Clever, and Auntie Hua heaved a sigh. 'You must mean my foster-daughter. I'm sad to say that three days ago she suddenly fell ill and died.'

She served the old lady and her companion food and wine.

On her return, the matchmaker conveyed to Lian's parents her favourable impressions of Tertia, which pleased them greatly. Lian was heartbroken to learn the news of Clever's death.

On the day of the wedding, he questioned Auntie Hua himself, and she told him that Clever had been reborn somewhere far away in the North. Lian shed many tears of grief. He took Tertia home with him as his wife, but could never forget his love for Clever. If ever anyone came to Canton from Qiongzhou, he always asked if there was any news of her. One such traveller told him that the sound of a ghost weeping had been heard at the tomb near Qin-nu Village. Lian found this strange. When he spoke to Tertia about it, she heaved a great sigh. At length she began to speak, tears coursing down her cheeks. 'I have done Clever a great wrong!'

Lian asked her what she meant by this.

'When mother and I came here,' she replied, 'we didn't tell Clever we were coming. The weeping ghost near the tomb must be her. I would have told you the truth, but was afraid of revealing my mother's wrongdoing.'

When Lian learned that the ghost of Clever was still haunting the old tomb, he cast aside his sorrow, called for a carriage and, travelling through the night, hastened to the place. He knocked at the wooden entrance to the tomb.

'Clever!' he cried. 'Clever! It's me!'

Suddenly from within appeared a young woman with a baby in her arms. She looked up with a sad little cry and gazed at Lian with an expression of injured grief. He wept to see her thus, and, fondling the baby she held, he asked her whose child it was.

'This is the seed you left in my womb. He was born three months ago.'

Lian sighed. 'I should never have listened to Auntie Hua's words. You and the child must have suffered cruelly, abandoned here in your grave-home. I have done you wrong.'

He took them both back with him, and went in to show his mother the baby boy. She was delighted to see what a handsome, sturdy, human-looking sort of child it was not at all the half-ghost she would have expected.

Despite everything that had happened, the two girls got along very well together and were both devoted to Lian's parents.

Some time afterwards, Lian's father fell ill. When the doctor was about to be summoned, Clever said, 'My father-in-law will not survive this illness. His soul has already left his body.'

They prepared his last things, and sure enough in a little while he died.

When Lian's son grew up, he greatly resembled his father. He was highly intelligent and passed his examinations at the age of fourteen.

Secretary Gao Zixia heard this story when he was visiting Canton. He could not remember the names of the places concerned, nor the outcome of the story.

58.

VOCAL VIRTUOSITY.

A woman, aged twenty-four or twenty-five, once arrived in the village with her medicine bag and set herself up as a physician. Patients wishing to consult her were informed that she could not make out a prescription herself but would have to wait till evening in order to communicate with the spirits. In the evening, she cleared out her little room and shut herself up inside it, while her patients waited outside, clustered around the door and window, trying their hardest to eavesdrop on what was going on inside, whispering among themselves and doing their best not to cough. It was eerily still and quiet both inside and outside the room.

Halfway through the first watch of the night, they heard the swishing of a door-curtain and the woman's voice inside, saying, 'Is that you, Ninth Aunt?'

'It is,' came another woman's voice.

'Has Winter Plum come with you?'

'I have,' answered yet another woman's voice, which sounded like that of a young maidservant.

The three women chattered on at great length, then the curtain hooks could be heard to move again.

'Sixth Aunt is here!' said one of the women.

'Has Spring Plum come and brought the young master?' cried a babble of voices all at once.

'He's been such a naughty boy!' This was yet another woman's voice. 'He's been screaming his head off and refusing to go to sleep! He had to come with his mother. I'd swear he weighs a hundred catties. I'm worn out!'

This was followed by a further exchange of greetings, Ninth Caption

Her patients waited outside trying to eavesdrop.

Aunt asking for news, Sixth Aunt chattering politely, the two maids grumbling, the child's happy laughter, the cat miaowing, all jumbled together. Then the voice of the young woman-physician herself could be heard, laughing as she said, 'What a sweet little boy, to bring the kitten all the way here!'

The voices faded away. Then the blind swished again, and there was a renewed hubbub.

'Why are you so late, Fourth Aunt?'

This time a young, dainty, lady's voice (evidently that of a third maid) replied, 'It was such a long way hundreds of miles Auntie and I hurried as best we could, but she's such a slow walker.'

There followed further desultory conversation, the sound of people moving chairs around and calling for more to sit on, voices of many kinds mingling in the general commotion that filled the room. After the length of time that it might have taken to eat a meal, quiet returned and the woman-physician could be heard asking for advice about a patient's illness. Ninth Aunt said she needed ginseng, Sixth Aunt recommended yellow vetch, Fourth Aunt atractylis root. After lengthy discussion, Ninth Aunt called for a brush and inkstone, and presently came the rustling sound of paper being folded and the tinkling sound of the brass brush-cap being pulled off and thrown on the table. This was followed by the grating sound of the inkstick being rubbed on the stone, and the click as the writing brush was placed back on the table. Then finally came the crunching sound as the herbs listed in the prescription were measured out and wrapped.

Presently the woman pushed aside the door-curtain and came out, calling for the patient to come forward and receive his written prescription and the herbs. As she turned back into the room they heard the three aunts making their farewells, the three maids, the little boy babbling, the cat miaowing all at one and the same time. Ninth Aunt's voice was clear and piercing; Sixth Aunt's slow and coarse; Fourth Aunt's soft and enchanting. Each of the maidservants spoke with a different timbre too, and each voice could be clearly distinguished from the others. The amazed crowd outside were convinced that these were truly spirits. But it must be recorded that notwithstanding this elaborate rigmarole, the medicine prescribed had little beneficial effect.

This is what is known as 'vocal virtuosity'. It was no more than a ruse used by the young woman to sell her services as a physician. But it was an extraordinary performance all the same!

Years ago, Wang Xinyi told me that once, when he was in the capital and walking through the market, he heard the sound of a stringed instrument and a voice singing. The performance had attracted a large crowd. He went closer and observed a young man singing a song in long, drawn-out phrases. There was no musical instrument to be seen. He was simply rubbing his cheek with his finger as he sang, producing a sound just like that of a stringed instrument. This was another variation of vocal virtuosity.

59.

FOX AS PROPHET.

A certain Mr Li possessed a secondary residence in Wei County. One day, an old man appeared and offered to rent it, proposing an annual rental of fifty taels, to which Li agreed. The man left and nothing more was heard of him for some time, whereupon Li gave instructions to his servants to let the place to someone else. The very next day, the old man arrived and said to Li, 'I thought we already had an agreement that I would lease your house. Why have you let it to somebody else?'

Li explained the doubts occasioned by the old man's long absence.

'I was proposing a lengthy stay,' explained the old man, 'so I was obliged to consult the almanac for a propitious day on which to commence it, and this delayed me for ten days.' He then handed over a full year's rent. 'Even if the house stays empty for a whole year, do not ask me any questions about it.'

As he was leaving, Li asked him when he would be returning and the old man named the day. Several days after that date, when there was still no sign of him, Li went to inspect his villa and found the double doors bolted from the inside. Astonished to see smoke rising from a chimney and to hear voices coming from within, he sent in his visiting card, whereupon the old man came hurrying out and welcomed him very civilly, smiling and chattering in a most affable manner. When Li returned home, he sent one of his servants with presents for the old man, who gave the servant a most generous tip.

A few days later, Li gave a banquet for the old man and entertained him with great warmth and genuine pleasure. He asked him where he hailed from originally, and when the man gave the western province of Shaanxi as his native place, Li expressed some surprise at its remoteness from his present lodgings.