"Yeah, I'm really hungry. What you feel like?"

"There's a place called the Rib Shack in Ruston. You eat barbecue?"

"Of course," I said. "Who doesn't?"

Lexi hopped on I-20 headed west toward Ruston, the radio on full blast as the wind blew through the windows. Finally pulling into the parking lot of the barbecue spot, we stepped from the car. Lexi's long windblown hair made her even more beautiful. I held the door as we stepped into the place. The smell of barbecue had my stomach growling-loud.

"Was that your stomach?" Lexi asked.

"I told you I was hungry." I laughed and held on to my stomach.

Lexi placed her hand over my stomach as if trying to see if I was really hungry or not. As the palm of her hand massaged my belly, I wrapped my arm around her neck and we scanned the menu. We ordered and found a table against the wall. Ate like there was no tomorrow and then headed back to Grambling.

As we walked hand in hand to her dorm, I pulled her knuckles up to my lips. Kissed them.

"I had a good Saturday," I told her.

"Me, too." She smiled. "Can we have a good Sunday, too?"

"And Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday..."

"You won't get tired of me?"

How could I get tired of a girl who was constantly in my dreams? Whenever I was apart from her, I couldn't wait to see her again. I couldn't imagine getting tired of her.

"Nah, not right away," I teased. "Maybe I will later."

"Think about the Fourth of July, okay?"

"I will." I handed Lexi her bags from the mall and she took off walking toward her dorm.

"Let me know soon, okay?"

"I will." I smiled as I watched her sexy body sashay down the sidewalk.

"I'll text you later."

"You do that."

I watched as she disappeared through the doors. Continued to watch, as if she might come back outside. I missed her already. And even as I began to jog backward in the opposite direction, I had an urge to call her cell phone just to say hi. What was up with this inner struggle of mine? What I wanted and what I had were two totally different things, and I didn't know how to balance the two.

twelve.

Marcus Daria and I stepped into one of the largest party suites on campus, with its slanted skylights and built-in bar. The music was loud as the sound of Jay-Z's voice echoed through the room. I'd never been to a party where I was the minority. Besides Daria and me, there was only one other African American person there. It was nothing like the high school parties I attended in College Park. It was way more grownup, with people standing around the room holding on to the necks of beers and wine coolers. There was never alcohol at the parties I went to back home.

I tried not to snicker as I watched white people dance to hip-hop. Instead I followed Daria across the room and we each grabbed a bottle of water from a cooler.

"I'm sure this is not like the parties you go to back home, Marcus," Daria said and smiled, "but it's something to do, right?"

"Will some other black people show up?"

"Probably not." She laughed. "But if you feel uncomfortable we can go."

"Nah, I'm cool," I told her as I stood against the wall, bounced my head to the music and took a drink of water.

"Marcus, old chap. How are you?" Paul asked and extended his hand for a shake.

"Hey, what's up?" I said, giving him a handshake.

Derrick grinned and extended his hand, too. "Marcus...what's up? You decided to show up. What brings you to the Bell Tower?" he asked, referring to the suite. "I thought this party was by invitation only."

"Well...I was invited." I grinned. "By my friend Daria here. Daria, this is Paul and Derrick."

"Nice to meet you both," Daria said and shook both their hands. "Marcus, I'll be right back. I see some people I know."

"Okay, do your thing," I told her.

She walked away and the three of us checked her out-all at the same time. Wearing a short, almost see-through dress and flat sandals, she looked as if she belonged at a photo shoot in Tahiti somewhere.

"She is fine," Derrick commented. "That you, man?"

"Nah, she's just a friend," I said.

"Hook me up, then." Derrick grinned.

I don't know why, but I was immediately jealous at the thought of Derrick being hooked up with Daria. I searched for an excuse to get his interest off of her.

"I don't know, man. She got this boyfriend that she talks about all the time," I lied. "I'll see what I can do. Can't make any promises, though."

"If her boyfriend's not here...at Harvard, then he doesn't matter." He smiled. "She's fair game."

Paul and Derrick drank beers as the three of us chitchatted about everything under the sun and listened to music. When Chris walked up, I wanted to walk away. Our first encounter in the dining hall hadn't been a pleasant one, and even though we were roommates, he wasn't one of my favorite people.

"Hello, good men. What's the word?" he asked and shook Paul's and Derrick's hands. He reached for mine. "Malcolm, is it?"

"Marcus," I corrected him.

"Close enough." He grinned, winked and took a drink from his cocktail. "This party is lame. I know a better party that's just a train ride from here. Anybody interested?"

"Anything has to be better than this," Derrick said.

"Paul, you interested?" Chris asked.

"I don't know. It's still early for this party. It'll probably get better later," Paul said.

"Don't count on it," Chris said.

"What about you, Marcus? You wanna take a ride?" Paul asked me, as if my answer would determine whether or not he joined Chris. "I'll go if you go."

"I don't know, man. I came here with Daria," I told him.

"Bring her along," Derrick said.

"Let me see if she's interested," I told them and then made my way across the room to where Daria was laughing with two other girls. I tapped her lightly on the arm. "Hey, Daria..."

"Hey, Marcus, what's up?" she asked.

"Me and a few of the fellas are going to another party...."

"Where?" she interrupted.

"I don't know...somewhere Chris knows about. He said we can take the train," I explained. "You wanna come?"

"Hmm." She smiled. "It sounds like fun."

She said a few more words to the girls she was chitchatting with and then followed me back to where Chris, Paul and Derrick were waiting. The five of us headed for the elevator, Chris leading the way. We walked across Harvard Yard, down the sidewalk toward the train station and hopped on the "T."

"Where are we going?" Derrick asked.

"I know a bar where we can all get in without ID," Chris stated.

"On what planet?" I asked. I was barely seventeen and my chance of getting into an adult bar was slim to none.

"Trust me." Chris grinned.

That was exactly what we did; trusted him. And soon we were pushing our way through a crowd of intoxicated partygoers. Soon I found myself dancing, too, with Daria moving her hips in front of me. Without words, we were in tune with each other, dancing as if we had practiced beforehand. She was a good dancer. She moved like she belonged on Miss Martin's dance team with Indigo and her girls.

To my left, Paul and Derrick found spots against the wall, where they stood and checked out the crowd. Chris had already grabbed a beer from the bar and was moving off-beat in front of a blonde girl who was tossing her hair from side to side. Wearing a bikini top and denim shorts that showed too much thigh for the public to see, she was aggressive. She grabbed Chris's beer and took a drink from it.

After the song ended, Daria grabbed my hand in hers and escorted me to the back of the bar. A couple of empty spots were available on a leather sofa, and we rushed over and grabbed them. Daria sat very close to me and crossed her silky, clean-shaven legs in front of me.

"This place is hot!" she said.

I nodded in agreement as Soulja Boy's voice suddenly rang out across the room. When the waitress approached, I ordered Cokes for Daria and me and hoped I had enough in my wallet to cover it. I had already spent twenty dollars getting us into the place. The cover charge was a small detail that Chris forgot to mention before we got there. I glanced over at him as he bounced around the room with Bikini Top. He was in a zone and totally out of character. He wasn't the sarcastic, anal Chris who made inappropriate comments to total strangers-he was suddenly the party animal Chris who was putting away beers like a real alcoholic.

"What's his story?" Daria asked as Chris danced his way to the bar.

"Just recently met him," I said. "All I know is he's from Yellowknife, Idaho."

"He's wild." She smiled. "But I like the place he picked. This is cool."

"Yeah, it is."

The deejay slowed things down a little with some Keyshia Cole. Derrick and Paul headed our way. Paul grabbed an empty seat next to us. Derrick gave Daria a lustful look.

"Wanna dance?" he asked.

"Okay," she said, not realizing that he had more than dancing on his mind.

She followed him to the dance floor, his hand touching her lower back. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they slow danced to the music. A tinge of jealousy rushed through me as I watched Derrick grab a hold of her small waist. She was beautiful, I thought, as I watched her move to the music. Her face was a flawless light brown, her breasts were perfectly sized and her legs were the best parts on her body.

"She's gorgeous," Paul commented, obviously he'd busted me watching Daria way too close, "but Derrick is not her type."

"She might give him a shot," I said. My mouth said those words but my heart hoped they weren't true.

"Nah, he doesn't have a chance with a girl like that." Paul smiled. "She has eyes for someone else...you."

"I have a girl at home," I quickly said; reeled my feelings back in-focused on Indigo. "We're in a committed relationship."

"How committed can you be when she's in Georgia and you're in Cambridge, and a girl like that is dancing around in your dreams?"

How did he know that she was in my dreams? He had a point, though-a point that I hadn't considered before then. I was headed back to Atlanta in a few weeks, but soon I'd be leaving for Harvard again-for good. Where would that leave Indigo and me in the future? I had my goals and aspirations and she had hers. She was unsure about where she wanted to go to school-one day it was Spelman and the next day it was New York University-but every day it was something different.

"Marcus, you wanna dance now?" Daria was suddenly standing in front of me, taking a drink from her soda and pulling me onto the dance floor before I had a chance to protest.

Derrick looked as if he'd been slapped in the face as I followed Daria to the dance floor.

"What's up? You didn't like dancing with my boy, Derrick?" I asked her.

"Marcus, give me a break. I wanted to give him a mint, because his breath was kickin'!" She laughed. "While he was all up in my face trying to get my number."

"What? You didn't give him your number?" I teased.

"Marcus, shut up." She smiled that beautiful smile and part of me was relieved that she and Derrick didn't hit it off.

She moved in close to me, placed her hands on my chest. I grabbed her waist. Her hands moved to my face, caressed it. Her eyes gazed into mine, and it was perfectly natural for her lips to accidentally press themselves against mine. She opened her mouth and my tongue found its way inside-her peppermint kisses were refreshing. What was I doing with this girl in my arms-kissing her, as if she belonged to me? Someone was supposed to stop this from happening. Derrick looked as if he wanted to, but he couldn't. Indigo was nowhere to be found-not even in my thoughts. All I could think of was this brown beauty in front of me.

The place was suddenly chaotic. A crowd of people gathered as someone caused a ruckus near the men's room. People bumped against us as they rushed to see what the commotion was. Daria and I rushed over, only to find Chris in the middle of a brawl with four dudes twice his size. One of them was punching him in the face, and blood gushed from his nose and all over his shirt. Bikini Top snuggled against another dude-obviously her man. A security guard grabbed the bigger dude and pulled him off of Chris, who was yelling profanity. Paul grabbed Chris.

"Let's get out of here," Paul said as he passed me, forcefully pulling Chris along.

I held on to Daria in order to shield her from the drama. Daria, Derrick and I followed Paul as he escorted Chris out the door.

"I'm not ready to go!" Chris yelled, stumbled and tried to force his way back inside of the bar. "I wasn't finished with him."

"Oh yes, you are ready to go," Paul said and pulled him away from the door. "He was definitely finished with you."

"What's wrong with you, man?" Derrick yelled and pushed Chris even though he was already injured. "I'm tired of your crap!"

"She was my girl," Chris slurred, referring to the blonde. "I had her first."