four.

Tameka I heard the doorbell but tried to ignore it as I listened to Rocsi from 106 & Park as she introduced the next musical guest.

"You don't hear that doorbell ringing?" Mommy asked as she wiped her hands on a dish towel.

I just gave her a look of unconcern. I knew it was my friends Indigo, Asia, Jade and Tymia on the other side of the door because they'd just sent a text message and said that they were pulling up in front of my house. I wasn't ready to see them, not with a belly the size of a watermelon and swollen feet. They would ask too many questions and stare too hard. They knew I was pregnant, but hadn't seen me since the last day of school. My weight had almost doubled since then. They were my friends, but it was so much easier to alienate myself from everyone.

"It's Indi," Mommy said. "And Asia, Jade...and that other little girl...what's her name?"

"Tymia," I responded but my eyes never left the television set.

"What's the matter, baby?" Mommy asked. "Don't you wanna see your friends?"

"Not really," I said. "Can you just get rid of 'em?"

"No, Tameka. I won't do that. These girls are your friends and they just wanna make sure you're okay."

"They just wanna be all up in my business."

"I refuse to believe that," Mommy whispered. "I'm opening this door."

It was no secret that pregnancy caused you to have mood swings, and most of the time you just wanted to be alone. The summer was hot already, and my body was taking on a mind of its own. My life was different from the lives of my friends. They were still dancers on the hottest dance team in Atlanta. They could still wear sexy jeans from the 5-7-9 store and cute little shirts that were on sale at Charlotte Russe for the summer. They could strut their stuff in bikinis from Victoria's Secret and could slide their feet into a pair of flip-flops from Old Navy without feeling like their toes were going to burst. Their lives had not changed one bit, while mine was suddenly doing somersaults.

Mommy swung the door opened and I couldn't help noticing Indigo's flawless skin. She wore a hot pink tank top and denim shorts, leather flip-flops on her feet. Asia toppled in the door behind her wearing a colorful sundress. Tymia followed with a pair of white capris and a fuchsia-colored top with matching lip gloss. Jade was pulling up the rear in a pair of khaki shorts and a multicolored top with spaghetti straps.

"What's up, girl?" Asia asked.

"Did you get my text?" Indi asked. "I've left you like a hundred text messages."

"Yeah, and I called you twice yesterday," Tymia added.

"Are you avoiding us?" Indigo plopped down on the sofa next to me and snatched the remote from my hand. Jade took a seat next to Indi, and Asia and Tymia both took seats on the love seat across the room.

"I didn't feel like talking," I admitted. No need in sugar-coating the truth.

My hair was all over my head and I still had on pajamas. I had brushed my teeth that morning, but a shower wouldn't have been a bad thing.

"Can I get you girls something to drink?" Mommy asked as she opened the blinds and let sunshine in.

"No, thank you," they all said in unison.

"You should all stay for dinner," Mommy said and smiled at me. "I'm making spaghetti with meatballs."

"Ooh, that sounds good!" Jade exclaimed. "Count me in, Mel."

"Me, too," Indigo said.

"Who's on 106 & Park today?" Asia asked.

"Robin Thicke," I mumbled. "It's a rerun, though."

"Did you really think that you could avoid us, girlfriend?" Indigo asked and started flipping through the channels as if she was at home, and as if I wasn't already watching something.

"I was hoping." I snatched the remote from her and switched the channel back to BET.

"Well, it won't be that easy to get rid of us. We're here to stay," Tymia announced. "Now stand up and let us see how phat you are. And when I say phat, I mean P-H-A-T!"

"You look really cute. And you're glowing," Asia said.

"And your hair is so long and healthy looking." Indigo ran her fingers through my hair. "But you need to do something with these nails. Let me see what I got in my purse to help you out."

Indigo started digging through her purse-for what, I wasn't sure. They acted as if nothing had changed; as if my body wasn't the size of a Goodyear blimp. I had been so scared that their visit would be weird and uncomfortable, and so I had avoided all thoughts of seeing them. But I suddenly found myself glad that they had stopped by. It was as if we hadn't missed a beat-as if we were still the same friends that we'd always been.

"You need a pedicure...like...yesterday." Jade frowned as she glanced at my toes.

"Why don't we all go and get pedicures!" Asia was always so bubbly.

"I'm not leaving this house." I made that clear.

"Ever?" Tymia asked.

"Not until the end of the summer. I can't risk someone from school seeing me." My mind was made up.

"You're joking, right?" Jade asked.

"I'm very serious."

"What about when school starts?" Indigo asked. "Everybody's gonna see you then."

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it," I said. "Now can we drop it?"

"Cool...it's dropped." Indigo grabbed my hand and began trimming my nails with a fingernail clipper.

As Robin Thicke serenaded us on 106 & Park, I laughed and talked with my friends like old times. Soon after, we ate spaghetti and meatballs at my dining room table and gossiped about everybody we could think of.

"So, have you heard from Vance since he left for Grambling?" Jade asked.

"Shut up!" Indi shushed Jade. "He's only been gone a few days."

"To answer your question...he sent a text when he got there. But I haven't heard from him since...." There was a long silence in the room. It was the first time since they showed up that I felt uncomfortable. I broke the silence. "Indi, I heard that Marcus went away to Harvard for the summer."

"Yep, he left Saturday morning." She pouted. "I miss him already."

"At least he's coming back in a few weeks. Unlike Vance who won't be home until Thanksgiving or Christmas."

Nobody said anything. It was as if they were afraid to touch the subject of Vance being gone.

"Can you pass me the garlic bread?" Tymia asked, and I handed her the glass dish filled with bread.

From that moment on, we kept the conversation light. Being pregnant brought about more challenges than I was ready for.

five.

Vance Basketball camp turned out to be more than I'd bargained for, with its early morning gatherings and exercise that had my body sore in places that I didn't know could ache. High school practices had nothing on this. This was boot camp-with a vengeance. Waking up at four o'clock in the morning during the summer and spending the entire day on the court-that was my day in a nutshell.

The shriek of Coach Lang's whistle sent us sprinting back and forth across the court; our last set of exercises before the day ended, and I was grateful. I could almost taste that Riptide Rush-flavored Gatorade that was waiting for me on the bench next to Jaylen. He was already turning up his own bottle as he waited for me to get done with practice.

After practice, I headed for the locker room, packed my gym bag and headed for the gym again.

"You owe me for this, son. Gatorade ain't cheap," Jaylen said, handing me a towel and my bottle when we were done as we strolled out of the gym.

"Gas ain't cheap either, but I don't see you handing me any gas money every time you hop into my car," I said and stole a glance at two beautiful girls as they strolled down the sidewalk of our campus.

"Come on, V man. You know I'm just messing with you."

"Yeah, whatever," I said and wiped sweat from my forehead. "Let's grab something to eat. I'm starved."

One of the girls looked my way and smiled. I smiled back as they approached.

"Hey," the caramel-colored girl with long silky hair said. "You Vance Armstrong?"

"Yeah," I said.

"I'm Shay," she said. "I heard you're pretty good on the court."

"I can do a little something-something," I boasted, and rubbed the whiskers underneath my chin.

Shay smiled and then introduced her chocolate-colored friend. "This is Kim."

"How you doing, Kim?" I asked. "This is my boy, Jaylen."

"Are y'all going to the frat party on Friday night?" Kim asked.

I'd heard the buzz about the frat party that everybody who was anybody was attending.

"Of course," I stated matter-of-factly.

"Will you be there?" Jaylen asked Kim.

"I might," Kim said, "but I don't hang out with fresh meat."

"Kim!" Shay exclaimed. "Be nice."

"What?" Kim laughed and then ran her finger behind Jaylen's ear. "Look...he's still wet behind the ears."

"Oh, you got jokes." Jaylen was embarrassed and I was embarrassed for him.

"I'm just messing with you, sweetie." Kim smiled and grabbed Jaylen's chin. "You be a good boy and Kim might show you around a little bit. Okay?"

Jaylen grinned. He was like a little kid at that moment. "Okay," he said.

Jaylen had been punked and now he was acting like one. I wasn't about to give them the satisfaction of making me feel like less of a man.

"I hope to see you there, Vance," Shay cooed, one little cute dimple on the side of her cheek.

"Yeah, I might show up...depending on my schedule," I said, not wanting her to think I was still wet behind my ears, too. I wasn't going out like my man, Jay.

"I'll look for you." Shay's fingertip caressed my face.

I tried not to stare at her ample round behind and she walked away, but I couldn't help sneaking a peek. She was cute but I didn't need any distractions. I had a girl at home who was depending on me to do the right thing. And that's what I intended on doing. I was here to get an education and to play ball.

"She like me," Jaylen said. "She just playing a little hard to get. But I'ma break her down."

"Dude, that girl is not interested in you...not even a little bit."

"Pil-lease! That girl want me so bad," Jaylen announced. "She gon' be mine before the end of the summer. You watch."

Jaylen and I strolled over to the McCall dining hall for a bite to eat. Loud conversations filled the room as we walked in, grabbed a tray and went through the food line. We approached a table in the center of the cafeteria.

"Anybody sittin' here?" I asked the tall brother from the basketball team. We hadn't met yet. There were so many teammates that I didn't know, and all of them were from other parts of the country.

"Nah, man. Have a seat," he said. "I'm Chauncey."

"Vance," I said and grabbed his hand in a firm handshake. "This is my boy, Jaylen."

"You looked pretty good out there on the court today in practice. Where you from, bro?" Chauncey asked.

"Atlanta."

"What brought you to this little country town, man? There are so many good schools in Atlanta."

"Just always wanted to go here. Seemed like a good place to be," I explained.

I wasn't sure when my infatuation with Grambling started, but I knew that I wanted to be at a historically black college, where I could meet some interesting people, get a good education and play some ball.