You know, senpai. I hate seeing you cry And knowing that its because of me, that hate gets directed at myself I whispered right next to Arisa-senpais ear. Were now sitting on the infirmary bed with my back resting on the headrest. Arisa-senpai was in front of me while my arms enclosed around her shoulders in a tight embrace.

On the other hand, shes clutching my arms tightly so as to not let me pull it back and her head rested comfortably on me.

Right. Were still afraid to face each other in fear of that undeniable attraction for each other. But then, holding her like this and feeling her warmth was enough to make me teeter between my restraint and my desire to make her mine.

Thats why I closed my eyes and just relaxed my chin on her shoulder while inhaling her delightful fragrance and enjoying this little moment with her.

Anyway, after being tackled by her and feeling the tears that seeped through my clothes, the thought of leaving the room vanished completely in my mind.

Even if I had the aptitude to be the coldest guy in the world once I decided on something, Arisa-senpai, no, any of my girls crying and being hurt was enough to make my knees bend.

Im this hopeless

As I listened to her breathing that finally stabilized, I put all my focus into accommodating her. If I noticed that shes even a little bit uncomfortable, I would adjust to it. The curtain was also closed, just in case Hayashi-sensei or any other student suddenly showed up.

Well, its the Mentor Program time so unless something happened, we would be undisturbed here. Nonetheless, this was the best I could do today, hold her close to me

Even if she didnt say it, she got taken over by her impulse and that resulted in her tackling me down.

Shes most likely already regretting it, evident by her continued silence.

I cried because I wanted to, understand? Its not because of you. Arisa-senpai returned a whisper. However, I could easily point out how unconvincing it was. She bit her lip and turned her head to the side again, not letting me see what kind of expression shes having.

But because she did that, that side of her neck opened up for me. Tempted by it, my face and lips dug through her loose dark brown hair that covered her pristine skin. The refreshing fragrance of her shampoo filled my nose when I did that, heightening my desire for her.

The thought of replying to her words quickly passed by my mind and was replaced by that temptation to make her mine.

As soon as my lips pressed into that soft and spotless part of her neck, Arisa-senpai trembled slightly as she let out a surprised yelp.

But I didnt stop at just that. I tucked her hair to her ear to give me more access

With the fragrant obstruction out of the way, the milky scent of her soap now filled my nose, leading my lips to drop more kisses on that part of her neck.

O-onoda-kun Will you stop that? She said in difficulty but even so, Arisa-senpai kept her head tilted like that.

But instead of answering her, my lips climbed up to her exposed ear and nibbled that soft part where she had a piercing for her earring. From there, I climbed further to her earlobe, producing more alluring reactions from Arisa-senpai.

However, as if she couldnt fight it any longer, Arisa-senpais hand grabbed my hair and pulled my head away from her.

Because of that, I broke out of my trance that was entirely focused on devouring her.

I told you to stop I didnt prevent you from leaving for this

Although she sounded slightly perplexed at what I did, I didnt sense any rejection on her part.

Perhaps, if I forced it despite her pulling on my hair, shed succumb eventually.

Nonetheless, I still picked the decision to stop.

Mhm Im sorry, senpai. This is why I want to leave Im losing my mind just being this close to you. I explained it honestly.

Upon hearing that, her ear that was already wet with my saliva reddened further before she responded in a barely audible voice. Y-youre not alone in that sentiment.

Naturally, I caught it loud and clear which made my lips curve up.

I tried teasing her for it but after a few exchanges where she almost gave in, I stopped.

I straightened up my back and put on a serious expression. Although she couldnt see it because shes still refusing to look at me, she could imagine it through my voice.

Alright then, senpai. Lets move on to the main issue Why did you stop me? No before that, why did you spy on me? Didnt you choose to avoid me? Both you and Izumi-senpai.

I dont know. I only thought of checking if youre waiting But then that happened.

I see You will probably be relieved if you didnt find me there.

Thats not the

Yes. Thats the case, senpai. Youre feeling guilty for last week. You stood me up. Youve already made your choice, after all. And truthfully, Im slightly relieved that you picked that. Associating with me will just entangle you into a complex situation. You did well on dodging that.

Naturally, although Im slightly relieved, Im more disappointed. But what can I do? I told you about my past and my current situation. Any sane person will pick the same choice as you. Uh Im not saying Nami and the others are insane but you get the gist of it. Its abnormal enough that it will cause a shift to your current normal life. I continued upon noticing her abrupt silence.

Shes probably thinking of what to say or what to rebut. Nonetheless, I didnt give her a chance to do so, I laid down whats on my mind; what I thought about her choice.

Given that she didnt even try to correct me Im probably close to the mark.

I respect senpais decision. Im there because of the program. I cant miss it, right? Nonetheless, seeing that I didnt get into any trouble last week, you both filled my entry by yourselves. If you wish to continue doing so feel free and I Ill make use of my time on other things.

I could use that time to study, look for Shio, or just simply rest. I couldnt afford to waste it when the path to our future was still only a drawing.

This is why I stopped you. Youve reached your own conclusion again. Let me say something first!

Hmm. Arent I close? But lets see. Will that change something?

I have no idea

This girl Shes filled with uncertainty, huh?

Our relationship could definitely be realized by simply accepting my situation. But because of her past and the heinously complex situation I was in, she couldnt take that step.

No Its more like she's at an impasse. Theres only that attraction thats edging her on and nothing else. But that simple attraction towards me was enough to balance her aversion to this kind of relationship and her guilty conscience.

Whats missing was another reason why she had to pick one situation over the other.

Either I make her fall in love with me as a support to her attraction or she finds herself another compelling reason that can outweigh that attraction.

I see. You dont have to force yourself, senpai. Ill make it easy for you. Whether you like it or not, you will continue seeing me on a daily basis because of Nami and the other girls in your club. If you tell me to just continue being your junior at this moment, Ill gladly respect that decision. Ill stop any advances and return to just being your cheeky junior. Even this closeness were sharing right now will stop completely. What do you say?

Upon hearing that, Arisa-senpai took a while before she could utter a response. Youll stop just like that?

If its to your convenience, why not? You might only feel attraction to me, senpai. But for me, I like you. I care about you almost the same way I care about Nami. Im aware of my situation. Its not pretty and colorful. Thats why I cannot just make a decision for you. It can only be yours. Whatever it is, Ill be respecting it Ive already confessed my feelings to you and that will not change.

Although I didnt tell her that I wouldnt try again in the future, at least everything I said was the truth. If shes against it then so be it. Id just try again in the future.

Just like that, Arisa-senpai once again fell into contemplation.