Chapter 12 As It Turns Out

Novel t.i.tle: (Spring is the Plan of Life)

Author (Yu Xiaofan)

Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)

Protagonists: (Yao Jinxi -MC), (Wu Yang -ML)

*Please read at knoxt.s.p.a.ce, the original site of translation. TQ*

Theres a KFC near their company. At this time, its past the rush hour, making it quite peaceful. This worked out well for the two of them since they could choose any empty seat.

Seeing Wu Yang naturally heading to the counter to place an order, Yao Jinxi followed and stretched his neck, saying, Get me some extra packets of ketchup, please.

They both ordered porridge for breakfast, which puzzled the server a bit. But still, customer service prevailed and they got a few extra packets of ketchup for them.

Carrying their trays, they sat by the window. Yao Jinxi held up a packet of ketchup and waved it in front of Wu Yang. You dont need these, do you?

Wu Yang found it amusing. With a mischievous look in his eyes, he said, Well, you can have them all.

Seeing Yao Jinxi looking confused, he couldnt help but tease, What? Do you want me to go back and get you a few more packets?

No, Im just being considerate for you, Yao Jinxi stuffed the packets of ketchup into his pocket one by one. When he realised the left pocket was full, he started filling the right one. This somewhat childlike action made Wu Yang burst into laughter.

Yao Jinxi clicked his tongue. Whats so amusing about it?

Wu Yang paused for a moment. What is it that he finds so amusing? As long as hes with Yao Jinxi, his mood will always get better. He laughed as he said, Am I wrong to be amused?

Yao Jinxi furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what was going on. Have you come to terms with it?

What do you mean by coming to terms with it? Wu Yang then understood the meaning. But he just said indifferently, Didnt I already tell you that Jin Xiaoxiao has a boyfriend? Didnt you already know about it?

Thats true, but Yao Jinxi didnt know how to express it for a moment. Wu Yangs reaction made him confused. Did todays incident not affect Wu Yang at all? But come to think of it, when had he ever been able to gauge Wu Yangs reactions since they met?

Yao Jinxi leaned back. He then turned his head and shrugged his shoulders at him, Fine, no problem. As long as youre feeling okay. But speaking of which

With a spoon in his hand, he jokingly pointed at Wu Yang, Its all your fault.

Wu Yang chuckled, Im sorry. My bad.

Yao Jinxi sighed,

This att.i.tude is too complacent. It was almost like hes just brus.h.i.+ng it off.

Yao Jinxi stirred his porridge with a spoon. Can I ask a question?

Wu Yang said, Ask away

Yao Jinxi hesitated to ask this question. He wanted to ask,

Why do you keep calling people in the middle of the night?

Doing it occasionally, it might be due to emotional turmoil. But if its a regular thing, it starts sounding a bit creepy.

However, labelling someone as creepy didnt sit well with Yao Jinxi. He found it quite unsettling. He stirred the porridge for a while and took a spoonful into his mouth.

While he was still hesitating, Wu Yang spoke up, After being with you, I havent called her again.

Yao Jinxi was caught off guard by this statement that he almost spat out his porridge. He choked and coughed a little.

Being with you? What do you mean by being with you? Who has been with whom?

Wu Yang didnt seem to notice Yao Jinxis unusual reaction. He casually handed over a tissue and said, She has been calling me these past few days. But I havent answered.

Wait, wait Yao Jinxi wiped his mouth vigorously with the tissue while holding up his other hand in a stopping gesture. I didnt want to ask about your entanglement with her. What does this have to do with me?

He felt awkward with Wu Yang explaining the situation like a man trying to justify himself to his wife. He quickly changed the topic, I just wanted to know if this habit of making phone calls is a hobby or something related to special circ.u.mstances because these things can easily lead to trouble.

Counting himself, he already knew of three people involved in this situation. But he had no idea if there were others.

With his hands loosely clasped on the table, Wu Yang remained silent for a moment in response to Yao Jinxis question. Then he finally replied, I cant control myself.

Unexpectedly, after this response, there followed a long silence.

Yao Jinxi was staring at Wu Yang. He was taken aback and unable to speak. He interpreted Wu Yangs silence as an irrational explanation. But then he saw Wu Yangs gaze gradually rise and fixate on him. But his eyes brightened slowly.

Then, with a smile, Wu Yang said, Because I have depression.

Yao Jinxis mouth slightly hung open, rendering him speechless.

Wu Yang interpreted his expression as disbelief in himself and continued, Many people dont understand. And honestly, I didnt at first either. I thought it was just a period of low spirits. Maybe I was tired because I hadnt slept well for a long time This started when I was at the peak of my career, making a lot of connections for those bosses, doing a lot of long-term investments. In a general sense, I became a successful person.

Wu Yang paused. Then, his voice turned cold, But I lost interest in everything. I would zone out involuntarily when I was alone. Even while I was driving on the street, I couldnt control myself from zoning out. I was in a car accident because of it.

As if recalling that time, his expression became distant for a moment. But he quickly regained his composure. Im afraid to drive now because I cant concentrate. When I knew that something was wrong, it was already quite serious.

Wu Yang continued speaking, seemingly unaware of the impact his words were having on Yao Jinxi. Yao Jinxi had to ask almost subconsciously, Havent you seen a psychologist?

In response to this crucial question, Wu Yang gave a bitter smile and said, I did go to see one. They prescribed medication that helps me manage my daily life. I endured it, thinking everything would get better. But then, I met my mother.

Yao Jinxi had heard about Wu Yangs family situation and he had a sinking feeling that this story wouldnt have a happy ending. He hadnt forgotten that Wu Yangs mother had pa.s.sed away.

Actually, I knew she was in Shanghai. My father gave her all of the compensation money. But she still didnt do well, Wu Yang said, with no hint of joy in his voice. When she needed money, she would come to me.

Yao Jinxi didnt know if he should interrupt Wu Yangs story. He was finding it increasingly difficult to listen. He could already guess what happened next. Wu Yang, longing for family, received such a treatment from his own mother.

Harm from outsiders often had reasons and motivations. But harm from close family members was like a sharp blade, cutting deep into the heart.

This was definitely not good for someone dealing with depression.

He had gone to C City, seemingly wanting to escape. But then he heard about his mothers pa.s.sing. After arranging her affairs, he returned. But his condition had worsened.

You probably cant understand that feeling. I knew I was sick, but I couldnt treat it or control it, Wu Yang said, I followed the doctors advice to interact with people, live positively, and avoid staying at home.

So he liked to party. Even if he had to drag someone along, he would find someone to accompany him. But he didnt have any friends. How could he have friends? He had seen all sorts of people, knew how to manipulate them, understood human nature, and knew that people could easily be calculated. How could he truly connect with anyone?

As he said these words, Wu Yangs face became devoid of expression. His voice turned even colder. But I still wanted to die.

Yao Jinxis hand trembled slightly. He couldnt help but curl his fingers inward.

Wu Yang thought to himself that;

Logic tells you that you shouldnt do this. But your emotions cant bear it anymore. Youre exhausted

.

At this point, Yao Jinxi was trembling. He couldnt bear to hear more. Wu Yang had just revealed something deeply personal and painful.

With a weary expression, Wu Yang removed his gla.s.ses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He then apologised, Im sorry for sharing all this. I know its not easy to hear.

Not easy?

Yao Jinxi whispered; Its okay.

Everything suddenly made sense. Yao Jinxi, in truth, knew more about depression than Wu Yang might have expected. He tasted bitterness in his mouth but tried to maintain a light tone. I think your condition seems to have improved now, right?

Yes, Wu Yangs tone s.h.i.+fted as he answered both lightly and quickly. When his gaze met Yao Jinxis, all the invisible burdens from his memories seemed to dissipate.

He maintained a faint smile. This smile reached his eyes, accentuating his good looks. I have you to thank for that.

Yao Jinxi understood Wu Yangs meaning. For someone with depression, what they need most might not be the guidance of a psychologist or medication. It could be companions.h.i.+p, especially during the late-night hours when the condition tends to be at its worst.

After all, its a mental illness. External factors can only do so much.

Yao Jinxi shrugged his shoulders and said, Youre welcome. But to make my efforts worthwhile, you need to adjust and avoid any relapses.

Yao Jinxis words had a hint of playfulness, but he was actually serious. Relapses are a common tendency in depression. Depression, often mistaken for simply being in a bad mood or overly sensitive, is a prevalent psychological disorder. People suffering from depression rarely realize they are ill unless they reach the point of contemplating suicide.

Its the lack of awareness that often leads to irrevocable consequences.

Ill do my best, Wu Yang replied. But his answer lacked strong conviction. Yao Jinxi understood the concept of doing ones best all too well. Its not as simple as just saying, Think positively and the problem would be solved.

He absentmindedly tapped on the table, producing a light sound from the Buddhist prayer beads, Jin Xiaoxiao is that her name? Well, maybe you should forget about her. Dating two people at once isnt the right thing to do.

Yao Jinxi realised that Wu Yang might not even have strong feelings for Jin Xiaoxiao. It could be stemmed from the longing he had. Recovery from depression is possible, you know. Find someone who can be there for you.

I know. But its been so long, Wu Yang replied while gazing directly at Yao Jinxi. Who could that person be? His words carried a questioning tone, almost like a rhetorical question. His tone was gentle and sincere. His gaze remained unbroken.

Yao Jinxi felt a sudden discomfort. He thought the conversation was going in an unusual direction. He repeated to himself that this man was a straight guy. But the atmosphere was becoming strangely ambiguous. Trying to evade the topic, he said, Fate is a strange thing. You never know who you might meet when the time is right.

Thats true, Wu Yang lowered his gaze and smiled softly. His words held both uncertainty and affirmation. When we meet them then we know. His eyes remained locked on Yao Jinxi as if conveying something.

*Authors Note: Depression is easily attained. The fact is, many people may not even realise they have it. Depression is indeed a serious mental health condition and seeking help and support is essential for those who experience it. -YXF

*Translators Note: I understand it perfectly. One of the reasons why I was very attracted to this novel was because both of these main characters are broken and they are dealing with depression. Its something that I can relate to so much. And that is why I think this novel is beautiful. Its like a gift for me. -K

Next update: 2023.10.05