"They're a scary lot? Really?????"

She smiled, "Touche! I guess I don't have any business calling them scary--pots and kettles."

"Exactly," I said.

She looked at the clock and pointed toward the door, "You better get going before you're late for your flight. Try to leave the doors attached to the plane this time."

"I wasn't thinkin' too clearly before," I said with a grin.

"What were you thinking? The others all had some sort of shield parachute devised to slow them down."

"It wasn't fast enough."

"Did you know the weapons would slow you enough to land?" she asked.

If there was one person I could be totally honest with on the subject, I would say it would be Paige.

"Honestly, Paige," I said, "I didn't expect to live through it. But I was gonna make damn sure I killed all of those bastards before they could get to her."

"Jesus, Colin," she said. I didn't need my Sight to see the emotion that she felt. There was almost a tear in her eye as she really understood the words I had just said.

"We can't afford to lose you, Colin," she said.

"Without her," I said as I stood to leave, "I'm dead already."

I don't know where that came from but it felt like total honesty, and I would have kept it to myself if I had been prepared for the feelings that I was feeling.

"Holy shit," she said softly, "You're in love with her. You have no idea how happy that will make her. She's been in love with you since she was six."

"What?"

Paige began laughing, "She swore when she was ten that one day she would marry you. She's been patiently waiting for years. This is too good."

"This isn't good, Paige," I argued. "You've seen what I do. I'm a monster. Do you know what the happiest moment in my life is? When I was in the middle of a hundred thousand Kresh, and free to kill as many as I could. What does that say about a person, that his happiest moment is a battlefield, drenched with blood?"

"You'll see," she said with glistening eyes, "No matter if there is Kresh DNA inside you, you are not a monster. Perhaps, in time, you'll accept the fact that you're better than the blood in your veins. There is also the blood of Kelvin and Rhayne Rourke. And if that's not enough to offset the Kresh, nothing is."

I was silent for a moment.

"Let's hope it's enough," I muttered as I turned and left her office.

I headed down the hall to the elevator. I had said more than I should have to Paige. I know what it is that I feel, but do I really have the right to bring that monster that lives inside me into another person's life? I mean, what would happen if we were to have children? Would they have the same genetic problem that I have? Do I have the right to do that to an innocent life? There are hard questions to ask there, I think. And I just don't think I'm ready to ask those questions yet.

Chapter 27.

I turned my MP3 player on and stuck the earbuds in my ears. I formed a small shield to hold them in place as well as another to hold the player on my shoulder. This was something I had done many times. As I practice alone, I like the music to set the beat, and it's hard to keep the wire and earbuds in place while doing the Dance. I let the grind of the guitar flow through me as Seether started ripping from the speakers.

I stood out at ground zero, right where the Great Gate had been. I spend a lot of time out here trying in vain to see some sort of pattern in the flows of power that make this spot unique for the gate. I haven't found anything that sets this spot apart from any other, so it must be something at the other end that makes it open right here.

I began the turning stance I call the Whirlwind, and flowed into the Reaping as the music pounded in my ears. From there I flowed into a defensive stance called Blade Barrier. I don't use defensive stances very often because I believe the best defense is a good offense. If I kill the one facing me there is no need for a defense at all. I use it more in sparring than I ever did in battle. I tend to be quite offensive on the battlefield.

The song ended and another began, this one was from Straight Line Stitch. They were a band that I learned about in Knoxville, their hometown. The beat was different, and my Dance adjusted as well.

I'm not sure how long I spent out there, but it was dark when I finally stopped. Sweat was pouring from my body, so I must have been at it for hours. I had been lost in the music and the dance. It's surprising how much of the tension and rage I can bleed off just by zoning out and Dancing the Blades.

As I made my way back toward the base I saw the sentries who saw me as well. I waved and they returned it. As I walked away from them I heard their comments.

"What do ya suppose he does out there?"

"He probably just stands there waiting for the Demons to return."

"I don't doubt that. I was there when they came through last time. I never saw someone so happy as the Soullord when we were surrounded out there."

"Some folks say he's a little crazy."

"He may be crazy, but it's a good crazy. He was carrying a spine when he came back from one of his runs, and I don't even think he knew it. Bet he can't wait till they come back."

"I can wait, I saw the footage and you guys were in some serious shit. I'd just as soon they give up and don't come back. I could seriously get behind that."

"No doubt but I doubt that's gonna happen, they'll be b..."

I walked out of range. I could have enhanced my hearing, but I'd heard more than I needed already. I hear a lot of comments from Guards that they are not aware of. The consensus, I think, is that I'm crazy and disturbing as it is, a lot of them act like I was the only one out there on the field. I was just one of many and without that many, I'm just a Mage.

I shook my head and continued on. There's not much I can do about it. People will think what they think, and it doesn't matter how many times a person tries to explain it. I made my way past the barracks to see a young National Guardsman slipping out of the door with a dazed expression on his face.

I almost laughed aloud as I opened my Inner Eye, and saw the memory rolling through his aura. Sex with a Soulguard could be quite the adventure for any normal person, and I knew that this one was quite an adventure all by herself. Andrea Prada's face was burned into this man's memory, and I'm not sure he would ever recover from this evening.

He saw me and saluted, "Sir."

"Relax, Son," I said, "I don't have to be saluted."

"Yes, Sir."

"I only have one question," I said, "You're off duty?"

"Yes Sir," he said, "I'm off till tomorrow morning."

"Good then," I nodded.

I was pretty sure that Prada would have made sure that she wasn't causing a problem before she had any sort of assignation with any of the Guardsmen. Our view on sexual relations is a bit different than some. Up till now we had tried to keep it within the Guard, for secrecy, if for nothing else.

Most of the Guard were people who had been attacked as normal ,or seen too much of the real world to stay out of the fight. To most, the Guard was all they had left. There were a few who had more ties to regular people than that.

Like Luis Ramirez. He'd had family in Florida. A lot of family, it turned out. I had gone there, and explained what had happened, and set up his sisters with the stipend every beneficiary of a fallen Soulguard receives. It was an emotional trip, and I found his family to be as likable as Luis had been.

I nodded to the Guardsman and proceeded onward toward the building where they had placed my quarters. I was planning on sharing the barracks with the Guards, but they had built the quarters for me anyway, so I just accepted graciously and moved into them.

Tomorrow I had a meeting with Marcus Stratton and Seran Polomo, Marco and Polo, the National Guard Generals.

"There seems to be a lot more young soldiers around than before," I said, "Not that I'm complaining or anything, it just seemed like most Guardsmen were a bit older than they are now."

"It's true," Polomo said, "The National Guard has gone through a lot of changes over the last year. An invasion on American soil will do that."

"As soon as the invasion took place, the President activated the Guard nationwide," Marcus said.

"Which means we can pull forces from any state to put in place here," Polo said, "But the SecDef, Secretary of Defense, decided this wasn't enough. We had to pull in our armed forces from overseas, or we had to make a huge change in the National Guard."

"The Joint Chiefs came up with a plan," Marco said. "The National Guard is now a full Military branch of its own. A lot of men transferred from our other branches, and our recruitment has gone off the charts as well."

"Why didn't you pull in the forces from overseas?"

"Because we have a responsibility to help everyone," Polo said. "America has always been on the forefront of world politics, and that won't change now. Your people tell us there are seven of these Gates and we need forces out there to help back your people up."

I nodded with a smile, "I had hoped for something along those lines, but I expected every military to get their asses home as quickly as possible. We are working with branches all around the world. Most of that is being done by the Archmage and her staff. It's nice to know that we have you guys backing us as well."

Both men nodded and I continued, "My biggest fear from all this is that they'll use one of the Gates we don't know about and scatter. Casualties would be so high it makes me cringe. I want to be there but I don't know where 'there' is. It's making me crazy."

"Understandable," Marco said, "but you have to understand, you can't be everywhere. You can only do what you can do."

"I know," I said, "but it doesn't help up here."

I point at my head. I wouldn't talk about most of the uncertainty that I feel. I've led men into battle, but I've never been in command of something this big. One wrong decision could friggin' cost us millions of lives. But my allies don't need to see that uncertainty. That is mine to bear and mine alone.

"The price of leadership," Marco said.

"True," Polo agreed.

"I seem to be seeing a lot more youngsters in your ranks as well," Polo said, changing the subject.

"How could you tell?" Marco asked.

"Look in their eyes," Polo said, "The new ones don't have that look like my dad used to have. You can tell they've lived a while by that look."

"You've got a point," Marco returned.

"Our recruitment has jumped, much like yours," I said, "We just brought down all of the Trainees from Montana, after the attack on Lyrica."

"I've met that young lady," Polo said. "She is quite impressive. The first thing she did when she got in was heal several Guardsmen who had been injured in training. It's truly amazing what you people are capable of doing."

"I was talking with a certain pilot yesterday," Marco said, "I have to ask. Did you kick the door off a jet and jump out without a parachute?"

He was the first one who had the nerve to just ask. Rumors had gone the rounds already. One of the pilots had been on his first flight for us and he had quit after that. He had told a lot of people about the incident, and everyone seemed to know. No one had built the nerve to ask till now though.

"Yeah," I said, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"That never sounds like a good idea," Marco said with a shake of his head. "I'm ex-Air Force and I have more sense than that. Sounds like something an Army guy would do."

"Hey!" Polo exclaimed, "I resemble that remark. But no, not even an Army grunt would do that. Wouldn't put it past a Marine, though."

I chuckled, "Funny thing is, a couple of ex-Marines followed me out the door."

"See?" Polo said. He shook his head with a sad expression, "Marines. What are ya gonna do?"

I really like the two Generals. They can always lighten my mood, and they both know their jobs and do them well. Both are veterans so they know what war is. Their advice is priceless, and their friendly banter is a nice relief.

We finished up our meeting and I made my way out to head toward the growing facility out by the Gate. The second barracks was almost complete, and I would be building the shield around it today.

I was met at the door to the command post by an ugly, wrinkled mess of a dog. He wagged his stump as he saw me and followed along as I walked toward the north. Ric and Prada were going to meet me out there. I looked back at the dog. How the hell had she sneaked the dog onto the plane?

"At least she gave you a bath," I said. He wagged his nub faster and his tongue hung out of his mouth, "You're still the ugliest damn dog I ever saw, though."

Chapter 28.

"Come on," Ric muttered, "You're still mad?"

Prada glared back at him.

"Really? How long can you hold a grudge?"

"That's a dumb question, Ric," I said, "She's a woman, they hold grudges forever."

The glare turned toward me and I hastily added, "But she's got a point. You did throw her out of a plane."

"It was a small push," he returned, "and she needed a nudge."

"A nudge?" she asked. "I flipped three times, head over heels from your nudge."

"Everything worked out alright, though," he answered.

I heard her musical laughter from behind us as Lyrica joined our little group. With her came Mattie and Trent.

"She still givin' ya hell bout the plane?" he asked.

"Constantly," Ric answered.