She shook her head and tried to pull away. "No, I'm sorry a I didn't mean a you can't."

He abruptly let go of her wrist. "Elizabeth a what's wrong?"

When she didn't answer, just looked confused and terrified, he reached out for her, but she scrambled farther away. "You know you can trust me, Elizabeth. I would never harm you."

She shook her head, tears gathering in her eyes and whispered, "Good night, Noah." She went back to the sofa and rolled away from him, pulling the quilt up to her neck.

He looked at her slight form under the blanket and felt like cursing. What was wrong with her? What was wrong with him? Just when he thought they were going to get closer, she once again closed herself off. Would he ever really know her?

Why Lord? Why did I have to fall in love with this woman?

AS AUTUMN a.s.sERTED itself, darkness crept increasingly into the daylight. It was mid-November and Noah hoped they would have enough daylight to make it to Juneau, although he and his lead dog, Shelby, had made it in the dark before. Looking across the room, he saw that Elizabeth was still asleep. Rising, he folded the furs and walked quietly over to where she lay. He gazed down at the translucent creamy skin, the dark hair spread around her pillow. He didn't want her to leave, wished he had time to court her and make her want to be in his arms. He wished he had time to help her conquer the demons that seemed to hound her. She needed him.

Common sense told him it was a good thing Jacko had come when he had, though. He knew that after last night he shouldn't be spending the night alone with her. He'd prayed for a blizzard, which would have gotten him into a lot of trouble, being holed up alone together for days, but instead Jacko had shown up ready to watch the place, leaving Noah without an excuse to put off the trip. Her feet were much better, and it was time to take her back to Juneau. But he promised himself he'd make as many trips into town as the winter would allow. He wasn't about to let her get away.

The day went by as if weights were dragging the clock hands. He'd been grouchy all morning and had barked orders at both of them while packing for the journey. Elizabeth was quiet and somber, meekly accepting his gruff commands. But Jacko a Jacko was enjoying every minute of Noah's distemper.

Noah tried once more at noon to get Jacko away from Elizabeth. "Why don't you come see the dogs, Jacko," he grumbled. "I could use your help."

Jacko winked at Elizabeth and said brightly, "Naw, we've got plans for this afternoon, don't we, Liz?"

She looked from one to the other and compressed her lips.

Noah wanted to drive his fist right into Jacko's smiling mouth. He wouldn't look so pretty with a few front teeth missing. Growling, he shoved away from the table. "Suit yourselves." He swung into his coat and stomped out the door. He strode to the barn, balling his hands into fists and muttering, "Who needs them anyway." Plans! He knew just what kind of plans Jacko would like to have with Elizabeth. Never mind they were very similar to his own. The man had no scruples; he'd seduce his best friend's sister given half a chance.

Swinging the barn door open, Noah walked over to his horse and picked up the brush. With more energy than needed he applied his frustration to the supple, brown coat. The repet.i.tive action heartened him.

He was nearly finished when Elizabeth burst through the door, shouting, "Noah, come quick, the cabin's on fire!"

"Fire?" Noah burst out as he dropped the brush and dashed out of the door, Elizabeth at his heels. Fire was a dreaded thing in Alaska. Shelter could mean the difference between life and death, especially during the winter months. Noah threw off his parka as he ran, having on an old pair of work overalls underneath. He burst through the open door and took in the scene.

The smoke was thick, but Noah quickly determined the flames were concentrated near the stove. Jacko was beating out flames on the floor with his foot. What jerked him into action was seeing a trail creep toward his bookcase and precious books.

"There's no more water in the cabin!" Jacko shouted. Noah swept the quilt off the bed. With his boots and the blanket he stomped out the fire on the floor and turned toward the stove. Elizabeth ran in the door with a bucket of water from the barn sloshing over her sleeves. Noah moved just in time as she threw the water onto the stove, making a long hissing sound and sending steam and smoke into their faces.

It didn't take them much longer to extinguish the fire. After the last flame was out they checked the cabin thoroughly for hidden flames. Finding none, Jacko and Noah followed Elizabeth to the yard, taking deep breaths of the cold air.

"Are you OK?" Noah asked Elizabeth.

She nodded, hugging herself in answer.

"What happened?" Noah asked, looking first at Jacko's blackened face and then Elizabeth's smoke-ringed eyes.

Jacko coughed and held up his hand. "It was my fault. I was trying out a new recipe."

Noah scowled at him. "A new recipe, huh? What kind of concoction were you mixing up in there, Jacko?"

Jacko grinned, unrepentant and Noah growled at him knowingly. "I was just showing Liz here how to make a little miner's punch. The knowledge could prove valuable to her at the post. You know how much Will likes my punch."

Noah shook his head and turned his penetrating gaze on Elizabeth.

She grimaced. "I'm sorry, Noah. He said to add pepper-sauce, and when I did the fumes nearly took my breath away.

I backed up into the table and knocked over the lamp. The kerosene caught fire right away."

Noah nodded. He had seen the broken gla.s.s of the lantern and had suspected a kerosene fire.

Jacko said, "I tried to get to her and knocked over a bottle of grain alcohol that was sitting on the stove. It must have met with the kerosene, 'cause the flame caught it. There was a nice little explosion when it met with the puddle on the stove right next to the pot of punch." Jacko shrugged. "It all happened so quickly. We kind of just stood there in shock, staring at the whole thing. Then I started beating out the flames with my boots and Liz went for you. You know the rest."

Noah sighed heavily. "Let's take a look at the damage."

They walked in, the three of them standing just inside the doorway, staring at the mess. Water lay in puddles on the floor and the table. Broken gla.s.s was everywhere. The quilts were ruined, lying in smoke-stained heaps. Everything smelled of smoke. The wall behind the stove was permanently blackened, but upon further inspection, Noah was thankful he wouldn't have to replace any boards. With a good cleaning, the place would be almost as nice as before. He was beginning to wonder if his cabin would survive his houseguests. Looking over at Elizabeth, his heart softened. She was close to tears.

He squeezed her around the shoulders and said, "Don't fret about it, Elizabeth. No great harm was done, and at least you and Jacko weren't hurt."

She looked up at him, guilt heavy in her eyes. "After all you've done for me a I'm really sorry."

While they were talking, Jacko had gone over to the stove and lifted the lid on the pot. Taking up a wooden spoon he stirred it around. Dipping out some of the mixture he blew on a steaming spoonful. Noah and Elizabeth watched in silence as he closed his eyes and tasted it. He grinned and nodded his head. "It's perfect." He winked at Elizabeth. "Guess we'll have to add a little kerosene to that recipe."

December 20, 1886.

Dear Mrs. Rhodes, I am most pleased to tell you that we have had a break in the case. The woman with whom I had been corresponding from the New York Orphan Asylum, Beatrice Timbale, stopped by my office today. Elizabeth had certainly been there. It seems that soon after they discovered our inquiries, Elizabeth was moved and Miss Timbale was let go and given a sum of money to disappear. She says she couldn't sleep, hasn't slept a wink since she left the orphanage, and finally decided to use the last of the money to locate me. Even more fortuitous, she overheard the superintendent and his wife discussing moving Elizabeth to an orphanage in Illinois. She did not discover the name of the inst.i.tution, but I shall begin writing letters of inquiry immediately.

I remain your devoted servant.

Sincerely yours, Jeremiah Hoglesby.

Private Detective for Hire.

Eight.

The view from the upstairs window of the trading post revealed a town draped in white, the streets showing through as long lines of brownish gray. Two women hurried by, skirts flapping around their legs, heads bent forward in the wind, hands clutching at bonnet strings. Juneau could have been any northern, snow-nestled town, except for its view. With the bay at one side and mountains surrounding them on the other three, Elizabeth had the feeling of being enclosed, protected, yet more island-living than inland.

The panes of the window rattled and made low whistling sounds as the wind forced its way through the cracks, gusting against the sides of the building, making Elizabeth glad for shelter, glad Noah had brought her here and that she wasn't wandering those cold streets looking for work. She pressed her forehead against the gla.s.s and breathed a sigh of relief. Will and Cara Collins had agreed to take her on as a shop girl. The trip back to Juneau had only taken about three hours with Noah's dogs and sled. She'd felt a little as though she was awakening from their own private world and back to reality. With it had fear had come flooding back, though she insisted to herself that everything would be fine.

Will and Cara were everything Noah had saida"kind and concerned for her and more than willing to give her a job. Cara had been eager to have another woman around, especially during her pregnancy. Will was slow, methodical, thoughtful a he might prove more difficult to handle, but he had not hesitated to trust Noah and take her on, only asking a few questions about her past work experience. There was no reason to fear they would find out about Ross, she reminded herself, pushing away from the window and the darkening view as night fell.

Turning from the twilight, Elizabeth slipped into her nightgown, borrowed at the insistence of Cara. She would have to go back to the saloon where she'd first heard about Noah and retrieve her trunk. The barkeep had allowed her to leave it in a storeroom so that she wouldn't have to lug it up the mountain. Inside was all she owned in the worlda"a work dress for mining, an everyday dress similar to what she'd been wearing when Noah had found her, and a good dress for Sunday. Aside from dresses and underclothes, she had a brush, some hair pins, stockings, a little wrist bag with some precious coins in ita"all that was left from Ross's moneya"and a tiny chain necklace given to her by one of her friends from the orphanage when she'd left that place.

Elizabeth climbed into the bed, relishing the clean, crisp sheets, and drifted off into an exhausted sleep.

It was pitch dark a few hours later when the howling wind woke her. She sat up, seeing nothing but the cloud of her breath. The room was cold, much too cold for a nursery, which was what Cara Collins had told her the room would eventually be. She turned to her side and curled tighter into a ball with the coverlet over her head, shivering, trying to go back to sleep. Something would have to be done before a baby slept in here. She wouldn't recommend that anyone sleep in this room, including herself.

The minutes ticked by without success of anything save intense shivering. She drifted to sleep, only to be startled awake moments later feeling like she was in the blizzard again. Afraid of the nightmare, she decided she had to get out of the room. She braced herself for the cold and sat up, swinging her legs carefully over the edge to dangle to the frosty floor. Quickly she wrapped the lone blanket around her shoulders and grabbed the pillow, thinking to sleep downstairs by the fire. She winced as her bare feet touched the floor and hurried to the chair where her clothes were neatly stacked, scooped them up, and fled the room.

Quietly she crept down the stairs so as not to awaken anyone. If she could just get downstairs to the chair by the fireplace, she could get warm. She swerved toward it, her eyes on the promise of the glowing blaze, taking one step, then two a tiptoeing across the bare, wooden planks, a much warmer floor than her bedroom.

Suddenly she found herself face-first on the floor, a large object moving beneath her. She opened her mouth with a squeal, but the sound was m.u.f.fled as a big hand clamped down over her mouth.

"Elizabeth?"

She sagged with relief at the sound of Noah's familiar voice and nodded in answer.

Noah quickly dropped his hand. "Elizabeth? What are you doing?"

Struggling to sit up amidst the tangled cloth of the nightgown, she finally faced him, just able to make out the sleepy features of his face.

"It was cold in the bedroom. I couldn't sleep," she whispered. "I thought I would come down here by the fire." Still sitting only inches away she scooted around to gather her strewn clothes and clutched them to her chest, her back to the low flames. "I didn't know you were sleeping here."

Now that her eyes had adjusted to the light, Elizabeth could see that Noah was still trying to wake up. He ran his hands through his hair and yawned, then stood, wearing only his pants. She couldn't seem to look away as he walked to the room's huge fireplace and added some logs, stirring up the embers with the poker. Turning toward her, his eyes narrowed. "You didn't?"

"Of course not."

"Where did you think I had gone?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "I didn't know. I thought maybe you were staying at Jacko's a or the hotel. I was sent off to bed rather early, you know."

"I always stay here when I'm in town." He stirred up the fire and then turned suddenly back to her. "If you were coming down to sleep, why did you bring your clothes?" He lifted a heavily muscled arm to the mantle and leaned into it. "You weren't planning to leave, were you?"

"Why would I leave?" Elizabeth asked in confusion and anger. "I just thought it would be warmer to change into my clothes than stay in this thin nightgown."

Noah dropped his arm and looked down at her. "I'm sorry. Guess I'm not thinking clearly."

"I didn't want to wake everyone by making a fuss." She shivered and stood up.

Noah came over to her, started to lift his hand to touch her cheek and then lowered it suddenly. Instead, he pulled a chair closer to the fire. "I'll go into the back room while you change. I'll make some coffee."

Elizabeth could only nod as she turned to face the warm blaze. She sank a little inside thinking how distant he seemed. Will had been suspicious of her. They'd probably talked about her when she and Cara had gone upstairs. Will must have told him what Elizabeth knew all alonga"that she wasn't good enough for him. It was true. And better that he understood that now.

With a bracing breath she nodded. It was better this way. They should distance themselves. She would forget him. He would come in the spring to begin their partnership, and she would be gone, gone to the gold fields in Dawson City. He would hate her, and then he would want to forget her.

Hurriedly, she slipped out of the nightgown and pulled on her clothes. Once dressed, she moved closer to the fire and spread out her hands in front of the blaze. Feeling wretched about deceiving him, she gritted her teeth in determination. Closing her eyes again, she retraced her original plans in coming to Alaska. She had been scratching out a living when she'd first heard the rumors of an Alaskan gold find. She remembered that day in July when the Portland docked in Seattle. The newspapers claimed a ton of gold was aboard the ship, and Seattle had gone wild with excitement. It was the last golden opportunity, and she'd wanted desperately to be a part of it. The only problem was that she couldn't possibly sc.r.a.pe together the cost of the ship's fare, which had skyrocketed overnight. No one would grubstake a woman. Her efforts to find a supporter had brought her only anger and embarra.s.sment.

Then, as autumn crept in and the weather turned cooler, a young man had started showing an interest in her. Elizabeth knew how to discourage a man's unwanted attention; she'd been around men her whole life. But he seemed different. He was handsome and refined, with slick, black hair combed back from his forehead and a black, well-groomed mustache. Tall and lean, he dressed exquisitely. His manners were refined, and he treated her like a lady, something she had not experienced very much in her life. She was intrigued despite her misgivings. When he finally approached her, he was so polished and charming, like a cool, sweet breeze in the stagnate air of her world, and she found herself charmed despite her efforts to remain unaffected. Within a month he had gained her trust, and she confided in him her desire to go to Alaska.

Even now, she could hardly believe what his response had been.

A few days after telling him about Alaska, he made her an offer. They were standing outside of the doorway to her room after a lovely dinner, and then he took her hand and kissed the back of it. Looking deep into her eyes, he purred, "I may have thought of a way that you could earn your pa.s.sage to Alaska, my dear."

Interested, she asked softly, "How?"

He moved closer, brushing the legs of his trousers against her skirts. Carrying her hand up toward his face, he rubbed the back of it against his cheek. "If you would be willing to become a say a my paramour a for a time, I could arrange everything for you."

She stood there for a moment, not comprehending in her shock. As the numbness wore off, she jerked her hand away and then reared back and slapped him as hard as she could. "How dare you," she said through gritted teeth. "Never would I do such a thing a never."

His eyes took on a stealthy glitter as he held a hand to his face. With a mock bow, he a.s.sured her, "We shall see, my dear. Don't answer me now; you are obviously in some shock, not seeing this proposal coming. Mayhap you expected another, more honorable offer?"

He laughed and raised his eyebrows knowingly at Elizabeth's reddening face. "Poor thing, I can see that you did." Turning suddenly viscous, he continued, "I would never marry a penniless girl who could only give me one thing. However, I'll be happy to pay for that one thing, and neither of us will have the worry of the other afterward. Give it time, dearie. I dare say you'll reconsider."

As he turned to go, she cried out, "Never!"

He didn't even flinch, just kept walking down the street.

The next two days had been agonizing. The reality of her situation was that she had to do something. She wasn't making it on her meager seamstress's salary; rent was overdue and something had to be done or she would soon be joining the homeless on the beach, digging for clams. At first, the idea had been so repulsive that she wouldn't even consider it. But the long hours bent over her piecework gave her more than ample time to dwell on the matter. Gradually, her mind had broken it down into acceptable pieces, rationalizing the result. She refused to let herself think as far as the name she could call herself afterward. She decided she wouldn't think of it at all.

She sent him a note and was ready for him when he arrived at her door, so smug and sure of himself. Nothing would have been more pleasant than to slam the door in his face, but she forced down her pride. He smiled knowingly and suddenly became like a hungry cat that had not had a meal in a very long while.

"Once," she stated, staring him in the eyes with impa.s.sive eyes, "and you will pay my pa.s.sage to Alaska."

He raised his eyebrows and observed, "So you've come down from your pedestal but aren't prepared to stay there."

"Take it or leave it."

His smooth demeanor now sickened her, and she vaguely wondered what she ever saw in him. She'd always been so careful, and yet, here she was, caught in the net of her worst fear, believing in another person, believing someone could love her, and then finding it all to be a trap.

Another mock bow, his fingers brushing the tip of his hat, then he held out his arm. "I'll take it, of course."

She stiffly took his arm. Walking the streets of Seattle, arm in arm, as if they were a happy couple, no one but her knowing the tight grip on her forearm, like a manacle, and she, a prisonera"no one but her hearing the pounding terror of her heartbeat, a lamb to the slaughter. And so they went, a picture of what they were not, to his room at one of the town's best hotels. Once inside, once the door was closed, she knew she couldn't go through with it. Starvation would be better than this bodily sacrifice.

She turned to him, panic stark in her face and in her voice. "I can't do it."

His eyes mocked her. "Changed your mind? After all the back-breaking hours of work to find you, you think I'll just let you walk out of here?" He reached for her.

Elizabeth jerked her arm back from his hand and scrambled out of his reach. "You'll not touch me." She made for the door.

"Oh, you don't think so? Allow me to explain the new rules." With deadly calm he sidestepped her, blocking the exit. Grasping her shoulders, he pushed her back and onto the bed. "You can't leave. I have you here for more than the obvious reason. You see, my dear Elizabeth, I did not come upon you by chance as you surmised. I was hired. Hired to find you."

"Who? Who would want to find me?" The question tumbled out before she could stop it.

He gave a crack of laughter and smirked at her. "Who indeed? For reasons unknown to me, your adoptive parents are searching for you. A seedier pair I haven't run into for some time, I'll admit." He shrugged as though to himself. "But their gold was the real thing. They were most urgent to have you back in the"a"he grinned humorlesslya""family fold."

"No, it couldn't be." She was talking more to herself than to him. Why would the Dunnings spend actual money to find her? She thought back to the dead miner and a cold chill crept its way up her spine. A thoughta"a hope-killing, despairing thoughta"clawed its way into her mind: They had pinned the blame on me for the miner's death. Did Ross know about that? Scrambling from the bed, she backed away from where Ross was standing. With her back ramrod stiff and her chin up, she looked at the man she had thought she cared for and felt newly sick. How could she have been so wrong? She had to hold it together long enough to get out of this hotel room. "I'm leaving now," she stated with quiet determination.

The sickening smile returned to his red lips. With a carefully manicured hand, he smoothed his mustache and regarded her with glittering eyes. "Leaving?" Harsh laughter rang out. Then suddenly his demeanor changed as rage surfaced. Gripping her shoulder in a painful vise, he shoved her back onto the bed. Before she could move, he was on top of her. She flailed and kicked, managing to hurt him but only temporarily slowing him down. He was strong, stronger than she would have thought from his wiry frame. He made it look easy, holding her down with one hand.

White ceiling with a crack running across a m.u.f.fled sounds that she couldn't identify coming from her own throat a heavy breathing in her face a Can't breathe a can't breathe a help me a can't breathe. The rape took only minutes, every second so real she could only numb it by burying it so deep and never thinking of it again.

Breathing hard in her face, his voice a low staccato, Ross explained what he'd planned all along. "Listen carefully. I'm going to wire the Dunnings now and tell them how I've found their long-lost daughter. You will stay right here with me until they arrive to fetch you. Until then, you're mine to do with as I please."