*Chapter Twenty-one*

Nicholas's gaze riveted to Ian, a tic working in his jaw. He had never wantedto kill a man as much as he wanted to kill the Scottish bastard and he felt volatile enough to fulfill that fatal wish.

"I suggest you ran, hide ... and pray, McDonough,"

"Nicholas!"

Nicholas's gaze slashed to Sheridan. "Don't say one goddamned word. Notone."

He could barely look at her. Why hadn't he listened to his gut and stayedaway from her? Why had he left his heart open for her to rip it from him?

Why had he given a woman an opportunity to bring him to his knees as hismother had done to his father?

He had never intended for McDonough to travel with them to Silver Hills.But Jules had brought him along to "help out"--most likely at Sheridan'srequest. Nicholas could just imagine what the son of a bitch had been helpingwith.

How long had Ian and Sheridan been together? Had they been fooling aroundunder Nicholas's very roof? Why had he listened to Jules when she had told himSheridan and Ian were only friends?

Friends. Christ! Sheridan had a bloody knack for friendship. The kind thatpoisoned.

Thank God Jules had remained in the stable with Wind Dancer and Hannah. Nicholas didn't want his cousin to witness her friend's downfall, to seeSheridan's true colors.

"Get the hell off my property, McDonough! You're fired."

Ian stepped in front of Sheridan, blocking her from Nicholas's view. "Ididna want tae work for ye anyway, Sinclair. Ye are a tyrant and a bully. AndI tell ye this, ye've made the lass cry for the last time."

Sheridan clutched Ian's shoulder. "Ian, don't."

"Protecting your lover, my dear?" Nicholas said through gritted teeth.

Her beautiful, treacherous face colored. "Lover? How dare ye imply such athing!"

Nicholas didn't want to hear denials. "Leave the room," he ordered. "It'stime for me and McDonough to talk ... man to victim."

"Aye, lassie. Go now and close the door after ye. I'll be out shortly."

"Don't bet on it," Nicholas spat.' "The only way you'll be leaving thisroom is in a pine box."

Sheridan stepped in between the two men. "Stop it! Both of ye!"

"Stop what, sweetheart?" Nicholas's tone dripped acid. "I thought this waswhat you wanted--a bloody battle on your behalf. To see two men pulverize eachother. Gives you a certain thrill, doesn't it? Heats your blood. Well, I'mnothing if not obliging."

"Don't be a duffer all yer life! Ye know 'tis you I care for."

Nicholas's jaw clenched, fighting the pull of her words. "And this is theway you show me how you care? I'd hate to see what you do to people you hate."

"Ye're judging me without knowing the facts, and I'll not have it!"

"I know more than I care to." Like the fact that Sheridan had made love to him that first night without any hesitation, given herself up to him like apagan goddess.

How many other men did she have? How many had tasted the passion he hadbelieved she had given solely to him? The thought twisted like a knife inNicholas's gut.

"Why are ye so ready to believe the worst? I'm not yer mother."

No, she wasn't his mother. His mother's betrayal had never hurt this bad. Afaint dying voice in his head whispered that perhaps he was doing exactly asshe accused, ready to jump to a conclusion that might not be the correct one.But just seeing Sheridan in McDonough's arms had brought back that dormantpain and fear--fear of losing someone he cared for.

Fear of losing himself.

"Oh, come now, my dear. What sort of moron do you take me for? If you'regoing to lie, try something more inventive. Clearly, you excel at trickery andguile. You certainly fooled me. And to think I had considered marrying you."

Sheridan's face paled. "Ye wanted to ... marry me?"

Disgusted, Nicholas nodded, wondering why had he told her that particulartruth, why he had set himself up for another blow. "For one brief, insanemoment I had contemplated asking you. But my senses have now returned."

Nicholas almost mistook the expression on Sheridan's face as despair, asutter ravaging pain. He almost believed she cared for him and that perhaps he had been wrong.

He almost believed tears formed in her eyes. Tears she cried for him.

Almost.

Then that damnably beautiful pride Nicholas loved and hated about Sheridancloaked her, shielded her from his attack. She tipped her chin up. "Ian is myfriend. Nothing more."

Friend. The word made Nicholas see red. "And I, for one, can vouch howfriendly a friend you are."

"Ye bastard!" Ian exploded, his hands fisting as he stepped towardNicholas.

Sheridan jumped in front of Ian, yet her words were directed at Nicholas."I would never hurt ye like that. I--"

"Don't say it! Don't you goddamn say you love me."

Her sad, luminous eyes tore into Nicholas with a force that rammed himagainst the wall. "I did love ye," she murmured, battling back tears. "But notany more."

"You can't turn it off like that, damn you!"

"I feel sorry for ye. I realize now ye are incapable of loving anyone. Yecan't let go of old pain. Ye're trapped inside a dungeon of yer own making,and it's blinded ye to what could be.

"And I feel sorry for myself for not recognizing that side of ye and fornot heeding my own warning. Ye and I are too different. But I continued tohold out hope ... and that makes me more foolish than ye'll ever be," shefinished in a whisper.

Nicholas tried to block out the truth of her words, but they were likebullets, flying at him from all angles.

"What's going on in here?"

Nicholas closed his eyes. Jules. He couldn't face her, couldn't tell herwhat he'd done with her friend.

Couldn't tell her he had fallen hard and irrevocably for Sheridan Delaneyof the goddamned Boston Delaneys.

With a brave mien, Sheridan did what Nicholas could not. She spoke. "I'msorry, Jules. It seems I've made a terrible mess of things. I never shouldhave come to England."

"What are you talking about? Of course you should have come." Jules steppedforward to stand next to Nicholas. "What is going on here, Nicky?"

Slowly, Nicholas swiveled his gaze to Jules, seeing the worry etched on herface and wishing he hadn't been the cause of it. He opened his mouth, but thewords to explain would not come.

"Yer cousin thinks something has been going on between Ian and me,"Sheridan answered for him, the pain evident in her voice.

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"Aye, 'tis what I tried to tell him."

"Let it go, Jules," Nicholas said in a hollow voice. "This doesn't concernyou."

"Doesn't concern me! Sheridan is my best friend. I know her as well as Iknow you."

"I caught them together. In my own bloody office, no less. Will thatconvince you?"

"Caught them together?" Jules eyes swung to Sheridan. "I don't believe thatfor a moment."

The conviction in Jules's voice shook Sheridan to the core. She almost lost the battle to keep from breaking down. She had to be strong. No matter whathad happened to her, she would not leave in shame, nor with lies hanging overher head.

Ian came to Sheridan's defense. "I saw Danny cryin', so I came in to seewhy." His angry gaze slid to Nicholas. "She is a sweet lass and isna deservin'such harsh treatment. Open yer foolish eyes, mon, and see what it is ye havebefore it's too late."

Jules walked up to Sheridan and took her hands. "Why were you crying, Danny?"

Sheridan shook her head. It didn't matter any longer what had caused hertears or what she had discovered about Nicholas, his lies, his betrayal--abetrayal more real than hers would ever be.

"Forgive me," Sheridan softly beseeched. "I didn't mean for any of this tohappen."

Jules squeezed her hands.' "There is nothing to forgive. This is all aterrible mistake. If you and Nicholas would just sit down and talk--"

"There's nothing left to talk about." Sheridan's eyes lifted and metNicholas's. "I don't want anything from ye. Not any more. Marry Jessica. Iwish ye both the best. I truly do. I want ye to be with someone who will makeye happy and rid ye of yer demons. But I'll not leave this room until I'vespoken my piece. And no matter what ye think of me, I'll know in my heart Idid the right thing."

Sheridan didn't know why, but she waited for Nicholas to saysomething--hoped he would say something, even as numbness settled over her, asense of finality.

"Don't say any more, Sheridan," Jules begged. "Not now, when tempers are atthe breaking point. We all say things we don't mean when we are upset. In alittle while, this situation may look entirely different."

Sheridan smiled sadly at her friend. "Things won't be different." She onlywished they could be. "Least of all what I have to tell ye." A single tearescaped Sheridan's lashes and coursed down her cheek. "I love ye, Jules.

And I never meant to come to yer home and bring trouble with me. But 'tis aburden I can't seem to shake."

"You've never been any trouble."

"Ye always were a sweet liar, Jules Thornton. I hope nothing will ever comebetween us."

"Nothing will, Danny. Not ever."

Sheridan prayed that would still be true after she said what she had tosay. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm going to have a baby."

"A baby?" Jules gasped.

"A baby?" Nicholas echoed, his voice devoid of any emotion.

Slowly, Sheridan opened her eyes and looked at Nicholas. His usually bronzeface had paled. "Aye." She nodded. "A baby."

The flesh over his cheeks seem to sink inward, his eyes narrowing, his jawclenching. "Jesus, how could I have been so blind?" he said, his voice low andfrightening. "I should have known you were a faithless jade."

Jules swung around to face her cousin." 'My God, Nicholas! What is thematter with you? Have you lost your mind? Don't you understand what thismeans?"

Cold, green eyes cut to Jules. "Get her out of here."

"No! Damn you, Nicky! Open your eyes. Sheridan is carrying your baby."

"Mine or ten other men."

Nicholas's words sent Sheridan reeling. Dear God, help her, the final blow.Devastating. Fatal. Only now did she see the true depths of Nicholas'sloathing for her. He believed her to be a whore, a common trollop. Sheridancould see the whole thing clearly.

She had to remain strong and walk out the door with her head high and neverlook back. Only then could she give into the torrent of agony washing overher. She wouldn't let his coldness defeat her, bring her to her knees. Herconscience was clean, even if her soul would forever lie in tatters.

Jules stormed over to Nicholas and slapped him hard across the face."Bastard!"

"Jules, don't!" Sheridan pleaded, but Jules ignored her.

"I always thought you were the sensitive one, the one who would understandlove when it found you, not condemn it or order it to your specification, butembrace it and count yourself as one of the lucky. God, how wrong I was.Sheridan didn't disgrace you. You've disgraced yourself. I hope you're happy.I hope you can live with what you've done today."

*Chapter Twenty-two*

Inebriation.

The salvation of mankind. The mother of invention. The last frontier.

"Here's to me." Nicholas held up his glass, staring through the amberliquor, thinking of the wreck that was his life. Then he downed the entirecontents of the glass. "Liquid love," he rasped, a hard edge to his voice."The best kind of love. It won't hurt you. Or leave you." He clenched his jaw."Or lie to you."

He threw the glass into the fireplace and watched the blue and orangeflames lick at the shards, tasting the residue of alcohol.

The fire hissed, flames warming the cold stone hearth. Logs crackled,spewing wraithlike black wisps of ash bouncing upward and then floatingcrazily down to earth.

But the heat did not reach Nicholas, though he stood directly in front ofthe blaze.

An insidious chill pervaded the castle as the sun began to set. The windkeened like the unearthly wail of a soul newly damned, and cold air crept inthrough the cracks and crevices, speaking Sheridan's name in a hauntingwhisper.