M.Ford. What's the matter, good mistris Page?
M.Page. O weladay, mist[ris]. Ford, hauing an honest man to your husband, to giue him such cause of suspition
M.Ford. What cause of suspition?
M.Page. What cause of suspition? Out vpon you: How am I mistooke in you?
M.Ford. Why (alas) what's the matter?
M.Page. Your husband's comming hether (Woman) with all the Officers in Windsor, to search for a Gentleman, that he sayes is heere now in the house; by your consent to take an ill aduantage of his absence: you are vndone
M.Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope
M.Page. Pray heauen it be not so, that you haue such a man heere: but 'tis most certaine your husband's comming, with halfe Windsor at his heeles, to serch for such a one, I come before to tell you: If you know your selfe cleere, why I am glad of it: but if you haue a friend here, conuey, conuey him out. Be not amaz'd, call all your senses to you, defend your reputation, or bid farwell to your good life for euer
M.Ford. What shall I do? There is a Gentleman my deere friend: and I feare not mine owne shame so much, as his perill. I had rather then a thousand pound he were out of the house
M.Page. For shame, neuer stand (you had rather, and you had rather:) your husband's heere at hand, bethinke you of some conueyance: in the house you cannot hide him. Oh, how haue you deceiu'd me? Looke, heere is a basket, if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creepe in heere, and throw fowle linnen vpon him, as if it were going to bucking: Or it is whiting time, send him by your two men to Datchet-Meade
M.Ford. He's too big to go in there: what shall I do?
Fal. Let me see't, let me see't, O let me see't: Ile in, Ile in: Follow your friends counsell, Ile in
M.Page. What Sir Iohn Falstaffe? Are these your Letters, Knight?
Fal. I loue thee, helpe mee away: let me creepe in heere: ile neuer - M.Page. Helpe to couer your master (Boy:) Call your men (Mist[ris]. Ford.) You dissembling Knight
M.Ford. What Iohn, Robert, Iohn; Go, take vp these cloathes heere, quickly: Wher's the Cowle-staffe? Look how you drumble? Carry them to the Landresse in Datchet mead: quickly, come
Ford. 'Pray you come nere: if I suspect without cause, Why then make sport at me, then let me be your iest, I deserue it: How now? Whether beare you this?
Ser. To the Landresse forsooth?
M.Ford. Why, what haue you to doe whether they beare it? You were best meddle with buck-washing
Ford. Buck? I would I could wash my selfe of y Buck: Bucke, bucke, bucke, I bucke: I warrant you Bucke, And of the season too; it shall appeare.
Gentlemen, I haue dream'd to night, Ile tell you my dreame: heere, heere, heere bee my keyes, ascend my Chambers, search, seeke, finde out: Ile warrant wee'le vnkennell the Fox. Let me stop this way first: so, now vncape
Page. Good master Ford, be contented: You wrong your selfe too much
Ford. True (master Page) vp Gentlemen, You shall see sport anon: Follow me Gentlemen
Euans. This is fery fantasticall humors and iealousies
Caius. By gar, 'tis no-the fashion of France: It is not iealous in France
Page. Nay follow him (Gentlemen) see the yssue of his search
Mist.Page. Is there not a double excellency in this?
Mist.Ford. I know not which pleases me better, That my husband is deceiued, or Sir Iohn
Mist.Page. What a taking was hee in, when your husband askt who was in the basket?
Mist.Ford. I am halfe affraid he will haue neede of washing: so throwing him into the water, will doe him a benefit
Mist.Page. Hang him dishonest rascall: I would all of the same straine, were in the same distresse
Mist.Ford. I thinke my husband hath some speciall suspition of Falstaffs being heere: for I neuer saw him so grosse in his iealousie till now
Mist.Page. I will lay a plot to try that, and wee will yet haue more trickes with Falstaffe: his dissolute disease will sca.r.s.e obey this medicine
Mis.Ford. Shall we send that foolishion Carion, Mist[ris].
Quickly to him, and excuse his throwing into the water, and giue him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?
Mist.Page. We will do it: let him be sent for to morrow eight a clocke to haue amends
Ford. I cannot finde him: may be the knaue bragg'd of that he could not compa.s.se
Mis.Page. Heard you that?
Mis.Ford. You vse me well, M[aster]. Ford? Do you?
Ford. I, I do so
M.Ford. Heauen make you better then your thoghts Ford. Amen
Mi.Page. You do your selfe mighty wrong (M[aster]. Ford) Ford. I, I: I must beare it
Eu. If there be any pody in the house, & in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses: heauen forgiue my sins at the day of iudgement
Caius. Be gar, nor I too: there is no-bodies
Page. Fy, fy, M[aster]. Ford, are you not asham'd? What spirit, what diuell suggests this imagination? I wold not ha your distemper in this kind, for y welth of Windsor castle
Ford. 'Tis my fault (M[aster]. Page) I suffer for it
Euans. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a o'mans, as I will desires among fiue thousand, and fiue hundred too
Cai. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman
Ford. Well, I promisd you a dinner: come, come, walk in the Parke, I pray you pardon me: I wil hereafter make knowne to you why I haue done this. Come wife, come Mi[stris]. Page, I pray you pardon me. Pray hartly pardon me
Page. Let's go in Gentlemen, but (trust me) we'l mock him: I doe inuite you to morrow morning to my house to breakfast: after we'll a Birding together, I haue a fine Hawke for the bush. Shall it be so: Ford. Any thing
Eu. If there is one, I shall make two in the Companie Ca. If there be one, or two, I shall make-a-thet.u.r.d
Ford. Pray you go, M[aster]. Page
Eua. I pray you now remembrance to morrow on the lowsie knaue, mine Host
Cai. Dat is good by gar, withall my heart
Eua. A lowsie knaue, to haue his gibes, and his mockeries.
Exeunt.
Scoena Quarta.
Enter Fenton, Anne, Page, Shallow, Slender, Quickly, Page, Mist.Page.