"Tobias is just taking shots in the dark."

"Accurate ones, if the look on his face is any indication."

The Enforcer had a way of knowing things. His only weakness was little Penny. When he was around that baby, he was a different man. Almost ... human.

"I know you can't hide it anymore," Caleb said.

s.h.i.t. "You know that experiment I've been working on since we became vampires? Finding a way to sustain ourselves without taking blood?"

"Yeah."

"I think Jane's research holds the key."

"The h.e.l.l it does," Jace remarked.

"You sure of that?" Caleb asked.

"No, I'm not sure. I haven't seen all her research files, but I think it's likely, though the woman doesn't know what she's holding."

Jace tapped his fingers on the table. "h.e.l.l, Slade, that would make the woman as brilliant as you."

She was more than brilliant. She was vulnerable and sweet. And his. Until the split second it would take him to lose control, and then she'd be dead or worse. Dying a slow death as her organs dissolved under failed conversion. But he couldn't let her go. Couldn't trust her to someone else.

"That's going to be a problem," Tobias muttered.

Yeah it was.

"Where is this research?" Jace asked, cutting to the chase as always.

"I don't know yet."

That jerked everyone's head up. Caleb swore. "Christ, you've been with the woman constantly and we don't have it yet?"

"What would you have me do, rape her mind?"

"Whatever it takes," Tobias growled.

"How can you say that?" Allie asked, shocked.

Tobias pushed his chair in, his golden eyes sweeping over the Johnsons. It rattled unsteadily. "Because anyone who controls the ability to sustain life, holds the secret to taking it."

"Son of a b.i.t.c.h." Caleb grabbed the chair "They could poison the water, the environment."

"Only if the compound were able to be inhaled or absorbed through the skin," Slade countered.

"Do you know that it's not?"

"No."

Jace shook his head. "You need to get that research, Slade."

"I know."

"You're the closest to her. She trusts you."

"I know," he all but shouted.

Allie pushed past Caleb. "You can't ask him to betray his mate's trust!"

"She's not a true mate if she can't take his blood," Jace interrupted.

"We don't have any choice," Tobias snarled. "We can't risk Sanctuary getting to the formula first."

"And what are you going to do if you get to it first?" she demanded. "What's so holy about your purposes?"

Tobias stood. "Not a G.o.dd.a.m.n thing, but when the dying's done, Sanctuary won't be waving a victory flag."

With a shake of her head, Allie stepped forward, reaching out for Slade's arm as if her small hand could contain the force of the inevitable. "You can't do this, Slade."

Slade touched his energy to Jane's. Felt her strength, her turmoil. Her vulnerability. Her need and that ever-present rightness that always came with the joining of their energy. His vampire snarled a warning. His human side grieved, but looking around the room, he saw the truth in his brothers' eyes. It had always been the Johnsons against the world. And when the dust settled here, it would still be that way.

"Do you see anyone else who can?"

Allie didn't have an answer for that. Neither did he. Turning on his heel, he pushed past Jace, ignoring it when Caleb called his name. He had a mate to betray and forever in which to grieve her loss. What the h.e.l.l could anyone say?

12.

SLADE stood by the bed, watching as Jane slept. She lay on her back, the white sheets pushed down around her waist, one arm thrown above her head as if warding off what she couldn't see. Him. In her head, poised to take what she wouldn't give. What they needed. Just a little rape of her mind. That's all that was required. For the common good. So why was he quibbling?

Her eyes opened and met his. There was no censure in her gaze. No hate. "Because you're a decent man."

The h.e.l.l he was. "No, that's not it."

Pushing herself up on her elbows, she shook her head. No matter how he tried, he couldn't skim her emotions off the energy around her. All he got was a sense of calm. "No? Then what would you say?"

"I'm thinking, sweetness, that you have undiscovered talents that keep getting in my way."

"Like what?"

"Like blocking my thoughts, reading my mind, and slipping out from under my orders."

She rolled her eyes. "Orders. Is that what we're calling drugging people these days?"

"I didn't drug you."

"Whether you used your mind or a pill, the results are the same."

"Yet you call me decent."

She rubbed her forehead and glanced at the fading rash on her arm. "Yes."

Just yes. Nothing more. He felt the need to explain. "You were in pain."

"I was then." She looked at him pointedly. "What's your excuse for now?"

He hadn't yet lifted the enthrallment, and she knew it when she shouldn't. Interesting.

"An oversight."

He lifted the enthrallment. She sent him a dirty look. "Thank you."

"My pleasure."

He might have lifted the enthrallment, but he hadn't left her mind. He loved her mind. It worked with methodical precision on problems, evading emotion to maintain the focus. Yet somehow it never lost track of the impact of emotion. Like now. She was scared by what she'd caught of his thoughts. Of what had happened when he'd taken her blood, how he'd handled it, but she wasn't letting the emotions rule. She was sorting through the reality, looking for patterns, looking for how he'd accomplished it. Looking for control.

He wished he could summon the same cool detachment. Inside him, emotion ruled, pushing out logic and the why, leaving only the image of what could be with this woman if he'd committed to her in another time and another place. Say two hundred and fifty years ago when life had been less complicated. When he'd only longed for the mental freedom he had now. When he could only dream of the ability to experiment and create. Before he'd had eternity to long and regret. Weariness crept over him, sneaking up on his blind side. Sliding his thumb along Jane's cheekbone, he let his energy blend with hers, not controlling, not dominating just ... blending.

Above his thumb her eyes widened, the pupils broadening as his mind went deeper into hers, flowing with her energy past the light, absorbing it, delving into the darkness of his soul. Finding the darkness in hers, the pain that didn't end, the silent scream that no one ever heard.

"Jane ..."

The whisper wrapped around the scream, binding them together; he pulled it into himself, taking the pain, wincing as he bore the weight of what she buried so deeply inside her. Images rushed his mind. A man's face, handsome but for the red-rimmed eyes and beard. Perfect teeth bared in a smile that hurt. He could feel Jane's hurt. Betrayal. The stench of alcohol hit him in the face. A hand approached. A child's scream. So endless. So desperate. Trapped. She was trapped. Fear clawed at him. Hers. His. Theirs.

"Jane."

"No."

She didn't want him to know. She didn't want him to see, but it was too late. She didn't have the strength to block him from this. He wouldn't let her bear this alone.

Her mind pushed at his. "Back off."

"I won't let him hurt you anymore."

I've got it under control.

You don't. I can feel it. I She shook her head. An internal tug signaled her withdrawal. He growled low in his throat. She caught his wrist in her hand, anchoring him to her even as she tried to push him away. Shame. So much shame. "I'm not who you think I am."

"The h.e.l.l you're not."

He tightened his grip, shifting his thumb to her mouth. The moistness of her breath was yet another bonding. Her eyes narrowed. Anger flared outward, tracing back along his energy, blazing through her eyes. Old anger. The kind of anger Jared had carried for so many years. The kind that threatened to eat a body alive.

Her chin came up. "You don't know anything."

Fear blended with her energy. Foolish woman to think he didn't know. More foolish still to think it would ever matter. "I know you're mine."

"I'm not something you can take."

"Watch me."

That chin came up. "No, you watch me. I won't be controlled."

He caught that stubborn chin on the side of his hand. "And I won't be denied."

She sat up straighter. "You give me hives."

"So I do." But only if he claimed her. He smoothed his thumb over her lips, studying the rush of emotions over her face even as he siphoned them off. He couldn't give her much, but he wanted to give her peace. As the anxiety in her settled, he found a bit of his own calm. "You'll have to make a cure."

"There's no cure for you."

Such a sad statement made in such a sad voice. He wanted nothing more than to deny it. But he couldn't. Even if nothing would come of it. s.h.i.t. She was right. It wasn't fair. He wanted what his brothers had. A mate at his side. A woman to spoil. To protect. To laugh with. Fight with. To make up with.

Slade kicked off his boots. They hit the floor, first the right and then the left. Two soft thuds that shouldn't have startled anyone but made Jane jump. This time when her gaze met his, the anger was gone to be replaced by ... something else. Something that drew him.

Eyeing the boots and then him, she whispered, "We can't."

Sliding onto the bed, he propped himself over her. Her gasp was as soft as her skin. As enticing. He wanted to hear it again, this time roughened by pa.s.sion. "Who says?" he whispered back.

"You did. Many times."

The curve of her cheek drew his touch. "I was a fool."

"You're never a fool." Reaching up, she caught his hand. "What's wrong?"

Her body was flush against his. Soft and sweet, her curves fit perfectly to his planes. For now there was no Sanctuary threat, no conversion danger. No loss. For now there was illusion. "Not a G.o.dd.a.m.ned thing."

"You're lying."

Turning his head, he kissed the center of her palm. "And you're hiding."

"Is this where I'm supposed to say I'll stop when you do?"

"No, this is where you say you don't give a s.h.i.t."

She blinked. "I don't." She sounded surprised. "Is that because you're influencing me?"

"Maybe."

Her grip slackened. "Why?"

"Because I'm tired."

Her gaze searched his. "Of what?"