Chapter 8

This is the first time that it was difficult to sleep. I laid on the bed tossing and turning. No matter what I did, I couldnt throw the image of Lu Hai Kongs pale face off my mind. I sat up and sighed deeply. Chu Kong, that bastard, how could he become like this after reincarnation? Hes obviously a hateful and cocky man. How did he become like this?

As long as Lu Hai Kong gets me mad once, even if its only once, then I can heartlessly get rid of him! Why?! Whywhy put that kind of expression?! That grieving expression made me feel guilty.

I sighed deeply again. Suddenly I saw a black shadow in front of my room. I raised an eyebrow, wondering if its Qing Shan student and Hei Wu. But then I heard a subtle muttering in front of my door, my heart tightened. Its Lu Hai Kong. After being wronged, he still came to look for me. Reallyhe really cant let me get mad once.

Hes only muttering at the doorway. Didnt knock and didnt come in. Actually, I was worried and went to the door. Through the door I heard him muttering to himself: Yun Xiang, Im sorry. Im not refusing to admit. I was thinking about how I can refuse uncle and how to mentionmentionYun Xiang. Im sorry, its my fault

He kept repeating those words several times, repeating the same phrases all over again. I was anxious after hearing him, pulled the door open and said: What did you want to mention to your uncle?

Lu Hai Kong was caught off guard, when I opened the door. He stared at me blankly. His face turned red, but after a while turned white.

I couldnt guess his mind. I took a deep breath and was about to apologize to him, when he grabbed my sleeves and whispered: Yun Xiang, Im not white eyed wolf. I know my right eye isnt beautiful, butyou dont be disgusted by my eye and dont be disgusted by me.

Even the most complex emotion, even the amount of words that I wanted to say to him, have been broken by his sentence.

He has been lingering at my door for so long, prepared so many things to say. But when he saw me, he said such a sentence.

Although he never said it, but seeing his eye injury, I know this has become his Achillis heel. I also know how much my words hurt him. I now also know that hes really afraid that Ill despise him.

For some time, looking at him, I dont know what sort of emotions I show.

Fifteen year old Lu Hai Kong is already taller than me. For the first time I seriously took a good look at his eye. In his eyes, the snow in the country yard that has been lit by the moonlight, looks really bright. This child really exists. He isnt a fleeting fragment of Chu Kongs life. But hes a real person living a real life.

I clearly understand that Song Yun Xiangs life is just a bubble. But in Lu Hai Kongs eyes, this is his whole life. His only life.

Tonight is really cold. With one hand I hold onto the door, with the other I pulled Lu Hai Kong into a hug. Both hands are now clutching his back, holding him tightly.

Lu Hai Kongs already stiff body became stiffer.

Yun Yun Yun Yun Yun.Xiang?

Im sorry,I said. Those were only angry words. Im sorry. Im not disgusted by you. Dont be sad.

Lu Hai Kong didnt move, but his stiff body loosened. He hesitated for a moment, then he put his hands on my back. Loosely did he hold me. It felt like if he hold me with more strength, hell offend me. I heard him sigh in my ear: Yun Xiang, at that time, I didnt say anything because I was just thinking about how to refuse uncle and how to mentionmention marrying you.

I looked down because I didnt want to look him in the eye.

These few years there was no opportunity. Yun Xiang was also incredibly delayed. As it happens, now theres some free time. So, so I thought we could have the marriage.just now, I also convinced uncle. Yun Xiang, do you agree to this marriage?

I couldnt think of anything so I just told him: I need to return to the capital to help my father. Im going to marry the third prince.

His face paled hearing those words. I pushed Lu Hai Kong, scratched my head and said: You dont have to worry, Im still pondering.

Lu Hai Kong tugged at my sleeve and didnt let go: I know that Yun Xiang has sacrificed many things when coming with me to the north. And youve also suffered a lot of injustice. No matter what youve always stayed by my side. I know that Yun Xiang is good to me, I dont want to disappoint Yun Xiang.

I rubbed my forehead. I havent really experienced much injustice after I came here. Firstly, because I was at Lan Xiangs liquor house the whole day, so I havent heard many gossips. Secondly, I as the daughter of the prime minister, living save and sound on the enemys ground, must be because of Lu Hai Kong. He mustve suffered more injustice than I do.

Ordinarily, in these circumstances, I wouldve accepted his proposal. Yet this afternoon Qing Shan student brought such a news. Although in this life, I didnt have much sense. But filial piety is still something that I need to keep.

I thought for a long time, before I finally thought of an excuse: Lu Hai Kong, you said Im good to you, you dont want to disappoint me. But do you love me?

After asking this, I shuddered. I kept the nauseating feelings in check and kept asking: You respect me, you honor me, but what I want is not these. This is not love between man and woman, this is not love between couples. Youneed to think again.

Lu Hai Kong was startled. He didnt think that I would say those words. He thought for a moment and said: I dont understand that, but in this life, I will not marry someone else. Yun Xiang, the one who needs to think again, is you.

He didnt force me to explain anything, just smiled and said: Yun Xiang, if youre willing, come to me and say it. If you want to postpone it, then well postpone it. The nights are cold, Yun Xiang you need to keep warm. Ill go back first.

Looking at his disappearing figure, I firmly covered my face. Brat, do not laugh so beautifully, ah! You made me look like a child who has lost his temper! I was really embarrassed!

Three days later, I left a letter on the table in my room: Im going in the mountain to hunt1, dont know when Ill return. Lu Hai Kong, if youve decided to fight in the army, then fight. Dont wait for me to come back before you marry.

Finally, Ive decided to go alone to the south gate to follow Qing Shan student and Hei Wu back to the capital. Because I know that Lu Hai Kong can live well now without me and because in the capital, theres aged father Song. Theres also my maid Cui Bi, whom I havent seen in a long time and many other people. They dont deserve to die because of the so called political struggle, like what happened to the general mansion five years ago. Being burned to death, without finding even the corpse.

If I go back, I can help them. I should go back.

The way back is a lot faster than the way coming here. All the way, the roads were full of warning signs. The faces of the commoners were full of panic. Unknowingly, I was really nervous. In the north I isolated myself too well and Lu Hai Kong protected me too well too.

On the fifth day, after crossing the northern border and passing another city, well enter the territory, where the court is in control. Qing Shan student made look like an old woman. He and Hei Wu are my sons now. We are playing sons bringing mother home. Although I objected to the role of an old mother, but thinking that Im few hundred years old, being called mother is nothing big. So I reluctantly agreed.

Passing the last gate, soldiers were doing a routine inspection. Suddenly another soldier, riding on a horse, came to the leader. He stopped the horse and shouted: Urgent matter! Withhold all the young women! Theyre not allowed to leave the city!

While he was shouting, the other soldiers blocked the path of everyone and said: Young women are not allowed to leave the city.

The soldier in green, on the horse, stopped at the gate. He took out a portrait and said: All those who has some resemblance to this portrait, no matter man or women, young or old, bring them all to the protectors mansion.

Hei Wu and Qing Shan student behind me, tensed up. Qing Shan student whispered: Miss, keep your head down. Dont look up.

I was wondering about a deep question: How much is some resemblance?

I heard the two behind me sigh. I dont understand why theyre sighing. I looked up at the portrait and froze instantly. Which artist can paint me so like me?

In the north, aside from Lu Hai Kong, who will so carefully observe me? My mind was complicated. I bend down to look like an old woman.

The young woman were detained. The soldiers checked everyone. Qing Shan student walked on my right side, pretending to support me. Hei Wu is walking a step behind us. Passing the soldiers, Qin Shan student began his acting. He softly called: Mother, the officers is just checking, its nothing.

Im too lazy to care about him, so I only bowed my head and kept walking.

We almost passed the gate when suddenly a soldier called: Eldery, can you please lift your head a little?

After I heard those words, I hesitated. If Im caught here, I and Lu Hai Kong..

I was still thinking, when Hei Wu grabbed my hand.

I stared at him blankly when he said: Dezui2.

While saying that, he lifted me with his powerful hands and throw me over his shoulders. At that moment, Qing Shan student pulled out a sword from his waist. Before the soldier could say anything, Qing Shan student already stabbed his horses eyes.

The horse stomped his hooves and made miserable sounds. Hei Wu said: Run.

They dodged the footsteps of the horse, while stepping on the shoulders of those whove fallen to the ground, they ran out of the gate.

I was laying on Hei Wus shoulder, watching the chaos at the gate. I dont know why I suddenly thought of the day of reincarnation. But today, there isnt a young man with eyes full of blame, looking at me. I suddenly felt an emptiness in my heart.

Back on the courts territory, Qing Shan student and Hei Wu were a lot more at ease. They bought a horse and we were using the main roads, its a lot faster. Soon we arrived in the capital. When we were passing the gate, both Qing Shan student and Hei Wu said that theyve got something to do and that I can return to Xiang Fu alone. I was surprised that they werent afraid that Ill escape. But then I thought that Ive nowhere to escape to in the capital, so I obediently went to Xiang Fu.

The generals mansion opposite Xiang Fu has been cleared. To historians, the generals mansion is now only a historical record.

The Xiang Fus guards were still the same. When they saw me they were scared: YoungMiss, you came back?

I nodded: I came back.

A bodyguards legs went soft. He hastened and ran inside. The first person I need to see, of course, is my father. The only difference I saw was, that in the hall, there isnt a furious father Song waiting for me. He was in his bedroom, a step from his deathbed. A really thin father Song.

I was a little afraid to call him. I really couldnt believe that getting old, would let someone look like this. Father Song lay on the bed, looking at me dazedly. He closed his eyes for a long time, then he sighed and said with a weak voice: Go awayGo away, you shouldnt have come back.

I was originally a cloud, born with nothing and raised with nothing. No father or mother. I dont understand what parents love is, but at this moment I need to treat this old man well, even hes done many bad things. In my eyes, hes just a lonely father.

Father, I said. I wasnt filial. The third prince, Im willing to marry him.

Father Songs lips trembled. He was silent for a very long time, before gathering all his strength to sit up. Sternly he said: Whove brought you back?! Even if your father is in a bad situation, I still would not sell my daughter to survive!

I was surprised. I was still confused when I asked: Wasnt it you who let Qing Shan student and Hei Wu bring me back?

Father Song looked at me casually and then abruptly laughed out loud: Those two have been killed by the emperor, early this year. Im afraid that the two people who pick you up, are imperial guards

Father Song shook his head.

That year I did everything to bring you and Lu Hai Kong to the northNow you still have been brought into this conflict. Yun Xiang, father is sorry to you, sorry to youre mom, sorry to brother Lu and Lu Hai Kong. And even more sorry to the late emperor.

Did everything possible to bring me and Lu Hai Kong to the north?

I thought more carefully and realized that everything was strange on the night of the fire. After those two men left , there wasnt any news coming from Xiang Fu. Such an important thing as the generals medal is missing, the court failed to send people after us. I and Lu Hai Kong walked like a turtle and there was not one soldier who has caught up with us. :Lu Lan announced his revolt, the court actually waited five years before doing something

I dont know how much father Song suffered in all these years by the hand of the emperor, but seeing how father Song looked today, I know that this forty year old has no more blood to bleed.

I patted him on the back and said: Father, its alright. Im not so fragile.

Comment:

Chinese is a such a beautiful language. Not many words can have much meaning. The only bad thing is that its really difficult to translate. The humor is gone when translating. I recomend to all those who can understand mandarin too listen to the story. Its more funny listening than reading my translation.

Ill be taking a break of two weeks, because exams are coming up again. When I come back, we can finally finish the first lifetime. The second lifetime is my favorite lifetime because Chu Kong is really really cute XD.