"It really is Fern," Rose said. "Now hurry up and give her a kiss. You have to go to bed."

William Henry seemed willing to take his mother's word. "You're as pretty as that other lady Uncle Madison brought here," he said. "You're almost as pretty as Mommy."

Fern gave the child a big kiss and a quick, fierce hug.

"You're a shameless flatterer. I hope your wife is as beautiful as a princess and all your children little angels. Now run away to bed. I promise to tell you everything about the party tomorrow."

"Boys don't like parties," William Henry announced very solemnly, "but I'll listen if you want me to."

"Scram," George said. "It's the Randolph in him," the proud father explained to Fern. "We can't seem to do anything about it."

"Don't change a thing," Fern said. "It may drive his wife crazy, but it'll make her love him all the more.

"Yes," Rose agreed softly, her luminous gaze on her husband and son as they left the room.

"It's hard to imagine Madison was ever that small," Fern said, almost to herself.

"George, too," Rose agreed. As if suddenly remembering something, she left the room and returned moments later with a photograph. "You might like to see this." She handed Fern the Randolph family photograph. "Can you find Madison?"

Almost as if guided by an unseen finger, Fern's eyes went immediately to the tall, thin boy standing to the left of George.

"He was sixteen," Rose said.

"He looks so young." Fern said. "As if nothing unkind or cruel had been able to touch him vet."

"It had even then," Rose said. "His father made his life miserable. Madison won't tell you, but I will." She pointed to William Henry Randolph. "Look at him. He must have been the most handsome man in the world, the kind of man women only dream about."

"No wonder George and Madison are so goodlooking," Fern said, "but even they're not as handsome as their father."

I can't begin to tell you the things he did to those boys," Rose said. "He must have been the most cruel and vicious man who ever lived. Did you know Madison was born on Valentine's Day?"

Fern shook her head.

"According to George, their father taunted Madison with it, teased and badgered him until he refused to celebrate his birthday. When he asked to be sent away to school, their father made him come home because he knew Madison liked it."

"How could he have been so cruel?"

"It was no worse than what he did to the other boys. But I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry for them or angry at their father. I just want you to know why Madison might have some difficulty expressing his love, even being able to believe in your love."

"I . . . we . . ."

"I'm not asking you to tell me anything," Rose a.s.sured her, "but I couldn't help but notice that things have been strained between you, especially since Miss Bruce and her brother arrived."

"It's not" "I'm sure it's not. But Madison still has some questions to answer, not the least of which is whether he wants to become part of the family again."

"But I thought . . . he and George . . ."

"George isn't all the family. Hen still hasn't forgiven him. And then there's Monty and Jeff."

"And the others?"

"Tyler and Zac were too young to remember much."

"What can I have to do with this?"

"You've been as hard on Madison as anyone else, maybe even harder. I'm not blaming you," Rose said when Fern colored with embarra.s.sment. "Circ.u.mstances conspired to put you at odds with each other, but that's over now. Madison is at a crossroads. The decisions he makes now will determine how he lives the rest of his life. He very much needs someone who can accept him for what he is without any qualifications. I don't think he's ever had that before."

"I'm sure Miss Bruce accepts him without qualification." Fern was ashamed of herself for saying that. It sounded petty and small.

"Maybe, but it's not Miss Bruce's acceptance he's looking for. If it were, he probably wouldn't have left Boston."

Fern had never thought of it like that. She had always a.s.sumed he had left Boston against his will, that he couldn't wait to get back so he could forget that Kansas ever existed.

"I don't know if I should tell you this yet," Rose continued, "but Madison bought that dress for you. He bought the blue one, too. He thought you probably didn't have anything to wear to the party and might not go."

Fern felt a shiver of anger, a splinter of betrayal. She had been duped again. This was just one more example of Madison's determination to get his own way.

"But he told me not to pressure to you wear either one. He said he'd take you in pants if that was the only way you'd go."

"But you said I couldn't go without a dress, that he wouldn't take me."

"I was wrong," Rose said. "He obviously cares more for your company than he cares for convention. In fact, he gave me the impression he didn't intend to go if you didn't."

Once more Fern's hopes flowered, but this time she couldn't feel that everything was hopeless. This time she felt sure that something would happen, somehow things would work out. If anybody could make things work out, it was Madison.

"But what about Miss Bruce and her brother?"

"Miss Bruce has been going to parties without Madison for years. I imagine she can manage one more."

Fern tried to tell herself to keep a tight rein on her hopes, but there was no holding them now. If Madison could accept her pants, if he could prefer her to Samantha, he really did love her.

Chapter Twenty-One.

Madison. kept his horse to a walk. He was on his way to pick up Fern in the buggy he had rented for the party, but for the last hour he'd been telling himself he was an idiot in refusing' to recognize that Fern Sproull wasn't in love with him.

She couldn't be and give up so easily.

She might think she hadn't gotten over what happened years ago, but he was kidding himself if he believed it. The way her body froze every time he got near her was all the proof he needed. If she loved him half as much as he loved her, she'd be over it. As far as he could tell, she hadn't tried.

Then why haven't you gotten over the things your father and the twins did to you?

He could still remember being locked in that dark feed room. The memories no longer had the power to reawaken the fear and loathing he had experienced, but he remembered the time the snake crawled across his body. He had kept from crying out by telling himself it wasn't a rattlesnake or a copperhead, only a black snake looking for the mice that came to eat the grain. But he could still remember the nearly mindless terror as the huge reptile slithered across his body. He could still feel it against his clothes. He could still hear the whisper of its rough scales against the dry corn shucks as it prowled among the feed bins for mice.

A cold shiver arced through his body. Maybe he hadn't completely erased the memory of that day any more than he had forgotten the humiliation of being sent home from school. But not even the mortification of that experience could compare to the sheer gut-churning fury he'd felt when he learned his father had intentionally refused to pay the tuition because he thought Madison was too happy away from home.

No, he supposed there were some things he would never forgive. Hurts that might take a lifetime to heal. If that was true for him, it must be so for Fern.

He turned the comer and saw Rose and George coming out of the house. So Fern had decided to stay home. He didn't know why he had thought she would leave. It would have taken great courage to face the townspeople wearing a dress. It also would have meant she was ready to make some changes in her life.

Her refusal meant she was comfortable with things as they were. Madison could understand it, but he couldn't accept it. Not anymore. When he came to Kansas, he turned his back on the status quo. And he didn't mean to allow Fern to hide behind a life built on fear and misunderstanding. There was more than her future at stake. There was his happiness as well. And he wasn't about to give it up so easily.

''You're late," Rose said as Madison alighted from his buggy.

"Doesn't seem to have been any reason for me to have come at all."

"Oh, I don't know," Rose said, smiling broadly. I think you're in for a big surprise."

"At least William Henry thought so," George said. "He thinks your date is very pretty."

"William Henry?" Madison repeated, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"He wanted to kiss Fern good night, but he didn't recognize her. I hope you'll do a little better."

Madison's heart skipped a beat.

"Then she's going? When I saw you two alone"

"She's waiting inside," George said. "We'll see you at the party." He took his wife's arm and helped her into a second buggy. Even though it was only a short distance to the McCoy home, it would have been impossible to walk through the dusty streets and arrive in a presentable condition.

Madison covered the distance on winged feet. Gone was the doubt, the reluctance to put Fern's courage and love to the test. He knew there were still questions to be answered, but she had come this far. Maybe, with his help, she could come the rest of the way.

She was seated when he entered the room. She rose to her feet, her heart in her eyes. Her fear that he wouldn't like what he saw was so clear that he would have said she was beautiful even if she looked like a mottled heifer.

But she was beautiful, more beautiful than he had ever dreamed. Unlike William Henry, he recognized her immediately. Not even the dress or the flowers in her hair or the fact that she wasn't wearing pants and a sheepskin vest could cause him to mistake Fem. Every detail of her face was burned into his memory.

"You are a swan," he said.

"What?" Fern asked, confused.

"It was a story mother used to tell us about a duckling that thought she was ugly until one day she grew up and saw her reflection in the water and realized she was the most beautiful and graceful of all birds."

He could see the tension flow from Fern's body as the wary expression turned to a timid smile.

"I don't look ridiculous? People aren't going to laugh at me? I couldn't stand that. I'll leave if one person even cracks a smile."

"No one is going to laugh," Madison a.s.sured her, "but they are going to be shocked. You're beautiful. Really beautiful."

"I'm glad I'm not ugly," Fern said, apparently still unable to believe him. "It would be a shame after all the trouble you went through to get this dress."

Now it was Madison's turn to feel uneasy.

"You don't have to look like you're about to turn and run," Fern went on. "I wasn't too happy when Rose told me, but I changed my mind when she said you told her not to pressure me to wear it, that you'd rather miss the party than make me uncomfortable."

"I see Rose talks as much as everybody else in this family."

"It was a really nice thing to do," Fern a.s.sured him. "I couldn't stay home after that, could I? And if I really am not ugly . . ."

"You won't have to take my word for it," Madison said. "Wait and see what happens."

"Did you see Miss Bruce and her brother before you left the hotel?" "I escorted them to the McCoys' before I came here." He leaned a little closer. "I wouldn't say this to anyone else, but you look every bit as lovely as she does tonight."

Fern felt as if she were walking on air. Madison thought she was as pretty as Samantha. She didn't believe it, not for a minute, but it didn't matter that it wasn't true. It only mattered that Madison had said so. That made it as good as if it were true. No, it made it better.

The drive was much too short. Fern didn't care if they never arrived at the party. She was content to be with Madison, to bask in his admiration, to listen to him praise her, but she was petrified of everybody else.

"Every man at the party is going to want to dance with you," Madison said. "But remember, I'm very jealous."

"Don't worry. I'll refuse them all. Even you. I can't dance."

"I forgot. I was supposed to teach you."

But things got in the way, Fern thought. Something was always getting in the way.

"I'll think of something," Madison said.

Dozens of wagons and buggies surrounded the McCoy house. Light streamed from every window, and the lilting sounds of fiddle music competed with the more strident strains floating in from the saloons on Texas street.

"I'll drop you at the door," Madison said. "It shouldn't take long to find somewhere to park this buggy."

Fern thought of facing everyone alone and her heart froze. She wouldn't enter the McCoy house alone, not even if she had to turn around and walk home.

"I'll go with you," she told Madison. "But you may get your dress dirty."

I don't care. It took every bit of courage I had to let Rose and Mrs. Abbott put me in this dress. I'm not going into that house by myself."

"You don't have to go in. You can wait outside until I get back."

"No," Fern said, shivering at the thought of being stared at by men she didn't know, whispered about by women she did. She could stand it if she was with Madisonshe could stand anything as long as he was with herbut not alone.

By asking the drivers of a wagon and a buggy to move closer together, Madison was able to make a place foR his buggy near the wooden boardwalk that ran along the front of the McCoy house.

"I'll carry you to the walk," Madison said when Fern started to climb down.

"I can walk."

"After all the work you've gone to, I don't want you to get dirty."

"You can't be carrying me about like a saloon girl. People will never stop talking."

"Is that what they do with saloon girls?" Madison asked, a devilish grin on his face. "I should have spent less time at the hotel."

"You know what I mean."