It's taken me nearly a decade to realize how harshly I underestimated the value of a long-term relationship. I've enjoyed my freedom, sometimes too much, but I crave more, with Erin. I chose her months ago, and the more I learn about her life, the greater the need to be a part of it. There's nothing ordinary about her, and her slow seduction will be perfect. By accepting my invitation, she provided me with the inspiration I needed.

Several small alcoves with two-way mirrors are located along the north wall of the reception room. Members who wish to remain unseen spend hours here. I've always been inside looking out, but tonight, masked and hiding in the shadows, I'm discovering another side to my patience and s.e.xuality.

Erin finally enters the room with Kevin, and her gaze immediately sweeps the crowd. I see it stop on Jeffrey Whitmore by the fireplace. If my intention was to have her do a double-take, she does. Dr. Mallory whispers in her ear and she nods. I can only imagine what he told her.

I'm bewitched by the way her lace dress hugs her curves. The plunging neckline and strategically placed satin bow between her large b.r.e.a.s.t.s are meant to tease. She's everything a woman should be-beautiful and una.s.suming, but completely out of her element. More potent than any female I've ever seen, she walks with innate grace, her well-defined legs accentuated by her stilettos. I want her ankles locked behind my neck while I suck and lick her p.u.s.s.y.

I swallow hard, then straighten my tie. There's plenty of time.

After Kevin introduces her to some members, she smiles, the perfect socialite. But I can see the cagey glint in her eyes. She's searching for something, a way out perhaps? Someone to connect with? Jeffrey finally leaves his post and slowly makes his way across the room. I've instructed him thoroughly. There's limits to what he can share with her-verbally and physically. His job is to help her relax, nothing more. But she's attracted to him already. She picked him out from across the room.

Several women intercept Jeffrey before he reaches Erin. One gropes his crotch. f.u.c.k. I glance in her direction. She's definitely watching. Whether she knows it or not, she's seeing me.

Jeffrey finally arrives, shakes hands with Kevin, then kisses her hand. My jaw tightens, my limits being tested. Normally unaffected by other men admiring women I'm intrigued by, jealousy unfurls inside me like a G.o.dd.a.m.n war banner. I straighten my mask in the mirror on the wall behind me, then walk to the reception room. I need to get closer to Erin and hear what she says.

Kevin approaches me. "Two gla.s.ses of Hennessy took the edge off her nerves," he whispers.

"Is she resolved to sample anything tonight?"

"No." He shakes his head. "However, when I mentioned the voyeur room, she seemed intrigued."

Intel to tuck away for future reference. I gaze past Kevin. Jeffrey's hand is resting on Erin's lower back. She doesn't move and I don't say a word, because I'm pretty sure if I did, I'd tell Jeffrey to go f.u.c.k himself, even though I asked him to be here. I wasn't prepared for my feelings. I suck in a ragged breath, straining to overhear their exchange.

"Shakespeare's Quill," she says. "I've been open for several years now."

"Never had the pleasure of exploring your shelves," Jeffrey comments, his eyes fixed on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Do you have a human s.e.xuality section, perhaps carry copies of the Kama Sutra?"

Even her soft laughter excites me.

"I'm afraid we don't have enough requests to carry that t.i.tle, but I'd be happy . . ."

Suddenly, two girls sandwich Erin and Jeffrey, rubbing their tight little bodies against them, keeping rhythm with the Jimi Hendrix tune blaring over the sound system. "Introduce us to your new friend," one begs.

"Where have you been keeping her?" the second asks. "She's beautiful."

"Ladies . . ." Jeffrey takes advantage of the situation, snaking his arm around Erin's waist. "This is our newest member, Erin Covington. Meet Dinah and Jessica, two of my favorite companions."

Once again, Erin manages to conceal her discomfort. She breaks loose of Jeffrey's embrace, then offers her hand. "I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."

Dinah clutches her hand. "I don't think I want to let you go, Erin."

"There's no reason to squabble over her." Jeffrey laughs. "We can take her to the game room together."

"Game room?"

"Haven't you given her a proper tour yet?" Jessica tsks, then smiles at Erin. "Can we escort you?"

"I'm afraid to say no."

"Then don't." Jeffrey s.n.a.t.c.hes her hand from Dinah. "This is a team sport."

"Tag teams?" Dinah teases.

"Depends on what the lady likes."

Jeffrey's too distracted by his d.i.c.k and the women he's been banging for three years. Dinah and Jessica do everything together, including s.e.x. That's why we call them Batman and Robin. Erin needs to feel like she's the center of the universe right now, she's a virgin, information I purposely withheld for her protection.

"It's not too late to change your mind." Kevin joins me.

Erin is headed to the voyeur room. "I wholly disagree. She's about to get her first taste of Lazarus."

Erin My pulse races as we approach a double archway. I'm flanked on three sides, so there's no retreat. We enter a s.p.a.cious room carpeted in the center and bordered by black marble tile. Leather sofas and chairs are arranged along the walls and there's a dozen people reclining on the furniture. The dim lights make it difficult to see clearly across the vast s.p.a.ce, but there's no missing what's happening center-stage between the s.e.xy trio, two men and a woman, on display.

"Her name is Catalina." Jeffrey's fingers spiral up my stomach. I'm too on-edge to get lost in his touch, but it feels nice to be caressed. Public affection is new to me but I'm pretty sure that's about to change considering what I'm seeing.

Catalina could be a Victoria's Secret model with those long legs and silky black hair that one of her partners finishes braiding, then secures with a hair tie.

"Raise your arms above your head," he commands.

She obeys, and the second guy, a dark-haired G.o.d, lifts her blouse over her head. I see something sparkle on her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. A delicate gold chain is suspended between them, and if I'm not mistaken, her nipples are pierced. Something I've always debated doing, but up until this point, who would have enjoyed it with me?

"Sam has dark hair," Jeffrey points out. "And Robert is the redhead." With Jeffrey's play- by-play commentary, I won't miss anything.

I gasp as Sam tugs on Catalina's chain and she drops to her knees. Is she in pain, or is this all rehea.r.s.ed? I feel irrevocably wicked benefitting from someone else's discomfort, but I can't look away. Sam turns her, and now I can see clearly she's wearing rhinestone nipple clamps. When he yanks on the chain again, she arches her back and cries out.

Her ache becomes mine.

Robert positions himself behind her while Sam removes a clamp, replacing it with his mouth. I hear him suckle, and when her breast pops out, her nipple is red and swollen. Then Robert twists her long braid around his hand and forces her head back. He slants his mouth over hers, their lips fusing together. Guilt washes over me. How can I find pleasure in a menage? It's taboo, forbidden territory. Women aren't supposed to even fantasize about it where I come from, but actually living it? I never regarded s.e.x as a spectator sport, but this blows away any of the NBA games I've been to.

"Don't be ashamed," Jeffrey whispers near my ear. "Catalina is in full control."

Robert breaks the kiss, then Sam lays her down on a nearby mattress. Once she's positioned on her back, Sam reaches over her. I hear Velcro tear as he places her wrists in cuffs attached to the padding.

Oh. My. G.o.d.

Robert casts his clothes aside and I can't help admiring his physique, all tan and toned like an Olympian. And his d.i.c.k . . . I lick my lips, pretending I'm where Catalina is.

Sam strips too, then kneels between her legs. He peels her skirt off, leaving her exposed in crotchless white panties and matching lace stockings. She's shaven clean and I can see how swollen her s.e.x is.

Sam growls, spreads her legs wide, then buries his face in her p.u.s.s.y. He's finger banging and licking her at the same time. She cries out and fights against her restraints. Robert rests on his knees above her head, then leans over and bites her nipples.

I'm so turned on. Nothing has ever gotten me so wet and desperate to touch myself before. I shift on my feet and gaze to my left. Dinah's predatory smile makes me uncomfortable.

"Wish you were out there?" she asks.

I shake my head, grateful the room is dark. I'm sure I'm beet red and panting like a h.o.r.n.y dog.

"I'm going to come," Catalina screams.

"Don't you dare," Sam chastises her.

Her hands are freed and she's flipped over.

"On your knees," Robert instructs her.

There's nothing sweet or gentle about the way they talk to or handle her. She's a prime piece of a.s.s, nothing more, and her lovers seem determined to not let her forget it. But I'm sure Catalina wants this. Women are treasured, that's what the letter said. Should I believe it?

Kneeling obediently, her tiny a.s.s bobs in the air, her wrists strapped down again. Robert tears open a foil package and rolls on a condom. He takes Sam's place behind her, and smacks her a.s.s.

Crack!

I cringe. He does it again, to both cheeks. She's moaning and circling her hips.

"Tell me what you want, Catalina."

"f.u.c.k me," she croaks.

"I didn't hear you."

"Please. f.u.c.k. Me."

Robert pumps inside her. The sound of flesh smacking together is too much for me. I need a breath of fresh air. I need to spend some time alone and reevaluate my desires. I'm shocked at my own level of s.e.xual perversion and hunger. Something dark and dirty inside me believes I'm not going to be satisfied until I taste a little of what Catalina's getting.

"Are you all right?" Jeffrey squeezes my fingers.

"Yes." My voice wavers ever so slightly. "I-I need to step outside."

"I'll join you."

"No." I hold my hand up. "Just give me a few minutes alone."

He reluctantly agrees. "Ten minutes."

Chapter 11.

Foster I catch Jeffrey before he heads outside. "What happened?"

"Nothing." He's focused on the French doors that open into the garden where Erin went. "She's more subdued than other women."

Kevin warned my plan could backfire. "Don't get too comfortable."

"That fifty thousand dollar deposit you made in my account ensures I won't."

I think of all the bad choices I've made in the past, but the money I spent to safeguard Erin is one of my best investments. Having her here, even if she doesn't know who I am, is worth it.

"You're losing your edge, Wagner."

"Think so?" He's an arrogant b.a.s.t.a.r.d, like most of the men in Lazarus.

"Calling it like I see it."

"Keep doing what you're supposed to do."

He lifts his eyebrows. "I can't convince her without giving her a taste of what to expect."

I open my mouth as I search for the right response. Every cell in my body wants to explode. "Understood." I've made my feelings clear.

I step aside so he can join Erin.

Maybe the public room wasn't the best place for Erin to get her first taste of what happens at Lazarus. But it's like learning to swim the hard way. Someone throws you in the water and you paddle or sink. She needs to make the decision. I'm confident I haven't misread her so far. There's something waiting to be unleashed inside her, but I want her to do it without doubt or hesitation.

Kevin approaches. "She made it through the show?"

"Most of it."

"And she's still on the premises?"

"In the garden."

He regards me silently. "Need a drink?"

"I need to be where Jeffery is." I gaze out the doors. "With a little coaching, I swear she'll be everything I want."

"She's sensitive, but I must admit I'm impressed she didn't run screaming out the front door. Maybe your plan has some merit. I'm starting to change my mind about Erin. It's you I'm concerned about. This protectiveness is new."

I c.o.c.k my head. He's overa.n.a.lyzing things again. "I don't want to f.u.c.k anything up."

"Remember that."

Gla.s.s smashes somewhere in the reception room and I wheel around. G.o.dd.a.m.nit, Sage Garrett is inebriated again. Two bodyguards are on him in seconds, but Kevin and I rush over, concerned he's out of control.

"What's the problem?" one of the guards asks.

"Her." Sage points at Phyllis. "She's broken a cardinal rule."

"What's that?" Kevin intervenes.

"The first rule of f.u.c.k Club," he stutters.

At the risk of being discovered, I rip my mask off. "Shut up, Sage."

"Incognito tonight?" He leers at me, his breath toxic.