I think over what she's just said and realize she's right and had been from the start.

My breakup pain has faded enough to admit that this whole idea came out of my feeling hurt and betrayed. And more than a little upset at how much I'd let myself come second to Jeremy in the relationship.

Maybe it's not about dominance and submission, but equality. I want more from a guy. And want to give more in return. Even if we're just having fun and it's not serious.

"While I'll concede you're right," I begin.

"A given," she mutters.

"And that Adam is an interest that I would like to make an activity, he thinks I'm some psycho chick with herpes who was trying to get knocked up. How do we get past that?"

"Simple. Blame it on Sam."

Yikes. Sam. What do I do about him? I can't date Adam even casually and continue to sleep with Sam. It wouldn't be fair to him.

Either "him."

"It's a plan," I agree and get my cutest, girliest voice ready to go call Adam.

I should come clean about my real I.Q., too, but while I'll take a shot at actual dating, I'd still feel better doing it as my dumber, hotter alter-ego.

Baby steps.

Adam proves remarkably receptive to my call, so I've come to the Conservatory to meet him. I love this place. It's a large dome made up of many panes of gla.s.s.

Inside are paths that wind through dazzling displays of exotic plants, tropical flowers, colorful Koi fish, and eye-catching birds.

Sam and I have come here billions of times. Which is why, when he called to see if I wanted to hang out, I suggested this place. That and I'm meeting Adam here soon.

Might as well have a soothing atmosphere to break the news that I'm not going to be following his plan anymore. Or sleeping with him.

For some reason, I'm very nervous about telling him about either point. That I'll have disappointed him.

I feel like Sam really wanted me to pull this off. As if I was some kind of emblem for all girls of the monogamous variety. And through me, there was something he could prove.

Since I'm polite, and a bit of a coward, I've been letting him finish up his story about Attila, even though a glance at my watch shows that Adam is going to be here any minute.

"d.a.m.n cat gave me a heart attack," Sam says. "I searched for half an hour before I realized she'd not only gotten out but somehow climbed up onto my neighbor's balcony and was stuck."

"You love her."

"She's a pain in the a.s.s."

Here's my chance. I'll tell him. I open my mouth but before I can speak I hear Adam say- "There you are."

"Adam," I coo.

Sam shoots me a "what was that?" look. Then frowns as he takes in my wide eyes and grin for Adam.

I twirl a piece of hair in what I hope is an adorable manner, trying to be at my least threatening for my date.

Not a herpes-ridden teen mom wannabe. See?

"You made it," I gush. As Adam comes up beside Sam, I can't help comparing the two boys that I'm doing. Was doing.

And getting a slight thrill out of the fact that I have two.

Had two.

One dark, one fair-haired, both cute boys, Adam would probably be considered the more conventionally better looking of the two. But Sam is also wicked charming. So bonus appeal points for that one.

If I was still counting.

Besides, Sam's lacking charm at the moment, as his face is scrunched up in an incredulous wince.

Adam notices Sam and sticks out his hand to shake. "Nice to meet you properly, Sam," he says.

I telepathically will Sam to be nice this time.

"You too," Sam replies as he returns the shake. "Sorry about the joke. No hard feelings."

I practically groan in relief.

"Naw," Adam tells him. "I'd be jealous of Ally spending time with another guy, too."

"And yet you look just fine with it," Sam says with a bit of an edge.

Adam blinks in confusion, then grins. "You mean you. Good one. But you don't count."

Sam doesn't seem too impressed at that interpretation.

I step between them and act all giggly. "He means since you're my best friend," I tell Sam.

Sam's eyes narrow but he doesn't say anything.

"You guys come here often?" Adam wants to know.

"When we can't download p.o.r.n, we come to see the parrots hooking up," Sam deadpans.

I snort my laughter. Sam cracks a grin at me.

Adam looks blank.

Whoops. Damage control. Alter Ally doesn't laugh like that.

"As a sign of affection," I begin in my breathy voice, "two parrots will...." I trail off, unsure how to explain it without coming across like I have a brain. "Nevermind," I singsong cheerily.

Adam slings an arm around me. "Ready to go?"

Sam is surprised.

I gingerly slide myself out from Adam's arm. "Just one sec, okay?"

"No prob. Nice meeting you, Sam." Adam moves off to wait for me.

"You're seeing him again?" Sam accuses before I can explain what I've been feeling. "I thought you weren't getting involved."

He sounds so judgmental that I can't bring myself to fess up.

"This is hardly involved," I say breezily "He's fun. This is just...."

"Fun?"

"Yes."

He mimics my breathy voice and wide eyes. "Go have fun with Adam." He pretends to twirl a lock of hair.

I glare at him.

"He's so exciting," Sam says in a stupid falsetto, "my I.Q. goes down ten points around him."

"Shut up. I look good. I'm stupid. What guys want."

"Not all of us," he replies.

"Really? Because you have stimulating conversations with females?"

"I do with you."

"I don't count. And you just proved my point."

I hug him and head off toward Adam.

I'll tell Sam tomorrow. Tonight, I just have to get through my date.

Without being me.

Chapter twenty-one.

Ally has a point. I don't hang out and chat with other girls unless it's a precursor to something else. But if she's going to keep up this social schedule of hers and leave me out in the cold, it seems I'm going to have to mix things up.

Which is how I find myself at the bowling alley, lacing up my shoes with Nikki.

"I've gotta say, I was really surprised you called me to go bowling," Nikki informs me. "And it wasn't a euphemism for anything. You and that girl have a fight?"

I watch the screen light up with our names. "Ally? No. Why?"

"I dunno." She picks up her ball and waits for the pins at the end of the lane to set themselves. "You two always hang."

"You and I had fun together that night, right?" I ask, scoping out her fine a.s.s in tight jeans.

"Yeah."

"Why not hang out then. As friends?"

I'm not sure if she's considering what I said or ignoring it as she focuses on the far end and lets her ball go.

"Was she busy?"

She knocks down the pin on the left.

"Nikki..."

"Alright. I'm dropping it."

She takes her other turn. Gutter ball.

It's going to be a long game.

To add some fun into it, I pick up a ball and do my Fred Flintstone move.

"Sti-rike," I call, releasing the ball.

To my total shock, I actually land a strike.

"Ha! Did you see that? Mock at your peril..." I trail off, remembering that I'm not with Ally. Also, Nikki is staring at me like I'm mental.

"Have you never bowled a strike?" she asks.

"Forget it."

I sit down and let her take her turn.

She picks up the ball and pretends to rub it vigorously, while tossing off Jesus Quintana quotes in a Cuban-American accent.

Now it's my turn to stare.

"Big Lebowski. It's this movie."

I nod. "I know. The theatre where I work had a special screening a couple months ago because the owner loves it. I just wouldn't have pegged you for a Coen Brothers fan."