I'm fighting the urge to cover myself and chanting "Abra Renfrew" over and over in my mind. I want to be that girl. I really do, but the odds are mounting against me.
Just as I'm worrying that I'm going to lose all my joy, he kisses that spot on my neck again and my mind goes happily blank as my stomach knots up in tingly delight.
Things get hotter; bases are rounded. Matteo's body covers mine and his face is a study in delighted concentration.
Except the closer we get to home plate, the more I want to call off the game because it feels like we're going into a seventh inning stretch and I'm getting bored and crampy. He's also crushing me, which is making me sweat on my back and stomach. I'm damp, itchy, and blech. I'm not sure what to do.
Jeremy didn't like me to talk. Probably why s.e.x was very basic. He got the job done but there were no special features.
New me wants all the bells and whistles. Or at least one long hard blast as that train goes into that tunnel. And I don't want to have to ride all night to get there.
I squirm under Matteo, hoping that might get his attention. Nothing.
Fine. Conscious of my bossiness, I go back to my best non-threatening, breathy voice that landed me here in the first place.
"Matteo," I breathe.
"Feeling good." He grins down at me and it's so heartstoppingly adorable that I decide to forget it and just take what I can get.
No. That would be old Ally territory. Submissive ain't in my vocab any longer. So I keep my voice cutesy-pie and add a smile. "Could you just...?"
"Yeah." He's off in his own happy place.
I get a bit more insistent. "No. Could you...?"
I squirm under him again, starting to wonder if this guy can find my c.l.i.toris without the help of a GPS.
Matteo nods. "Harder? Like rough?"
He steps up his thrusts.
I snap. "No!"
I grab his hand and shove it down to my joy buzzer. "Move it."
Matteo look surprised. Then does as he's bid.
"And get your elbow off my hair," I order.
I see his shocked look and soften my command with a giggle, cute once more.
He smiles.
Geez, boys are easy.
However, a few days later, as I burn my head on the straightening iron for about the billionth time because I wriggled to pull my thong out of my b.u.t.t, I have to wonder if Matteo level s.e.x is worth the pain of upkeep.
I mean, it was great to know that I got that beautiful, beautiful boy to want me. He even sent me a couple of casual texts dangling requests for a repeat hookup, like bait.
But the deed itself was kind of, well, meh. Like a solid 6.5. Out of ten. Not on the Richter scale.
It's all fine to leave them wanting more but I want to be completely satisfied.
So I decide to try try again for more positive results. And that's when I meet Adam.
Chapter fifteen.
I try to make it up to Alicia for the pain I caused her at the paragliding c.o.c.k-up with maximum pleasure now.
We're making out in her candlelit room and I'm very careful of her wrist, still in a small cast.
It's been easy to note the exact location of the door in her dorm room in relation to the bed. And her desk chair will work for clothes layage. Escape plan ready, my attention is all on her.
"You're not going to faint on me again, are you?" she murmurs, tugging at my belt.
"The blood is rushing away from my head," I admit.
She nips at my neck. "Getting all limp?"
"Definitely not the problem."
Her hand moves down lower.
I raise an eyebrow.
"Just checking you out," she says in a saucy manner.
"I don't know. Are you a certified professional?"
"Mmm." She rubs me through my jeans. "You're in good hands.
"So are you," I reply and pull her down on top of me on the bed. Warm and soft. Just how I like them.
Alicia turns out to be one of my better encounters. There is a minimum of fuss when I go. Maybe she's worried I might damage her again, but whatever the reason, I get out of there pretty easily.
And speaking of encounters, it's time to check back in with Ally.
I've seen her in pa.s.sing after school the last week but it's been midterms and she's been under the radar. We haven't really had a chance to talk since the night at the club.
With exams out of the way, though, I've managed to nab her for a game of pool.
I take my shot and break the b.a.l.l.s on the table with a satisfying crack.
I glance over and spy an elderly couple playing pool at the table next to ours. They must be about eighty. The man stands behind the woman, correcting her stance.
I watch them exchange the kind of smile that only a couple together forever and still in love can. Their fingers brush as they part, after her shot. He sets up for his shot but first he glances over at her with a warm smile, totally connected, before he sinks that eight ball with one wicked stroke.
Good for them, I guess.
I lean over to set up my shot.
"I'm sorry things haven't worked out for you," I say to Ally.
She beams. "They have. Tingly happiness."
I miss my ball and look at her in surprise. "Really?" I can't believe she hasn't said anything. I wonder if she's lying but she's not that good an actor. "Wow. I mean, great. We should celebrate. Indian food?"
Ally shakes her head. "Not spicy. You get headaches."
"But you're sick of sushi," I remind her.
Ally moves off to grab some cue chalk from another table, tossing back at me, "Pasta? Stream a flick?"
The elderly couple walks past me, hand in hand. The man winks at me. "Pretty girl you got there."
"No. She's not my-"
"Sam?" I jump as Ally hands me the chalk. I look at her and shake my head sharply. Definitely not.
I decide not to press Ally for details. First off, I'm not sure I want to know-sister TMI thing-and second, I figure if she wants to tell me, she will.
But since I do want her to know I'm happy for her, and truth be told, even happier that I don't have to be a part of this anymore, I make her a celebratory stir fry at my place.
Ally takes over sauteing the veggies because she's very high maintenance on how she likes them done, while I hand her a Diet c.o.ke.
"To your tingly happiness," I toast, holding up my own can to clink.
She leaves me hanging. "Yeah..."
I set my pop on the counter. I knew it was too much to hope that we were done and she was on her merry way. "What?"
"Well, the first one was only somewhere between alright and fine. But the next one-"
Hang on. "Next one? You mean next time."
"Next guy, next time," she clarifies.
"There was a next guy?"
She raises an eyebrow at my shocked tone.
I backpedal. "Not to sound skeptical but it's only been a week. How did you fit in a next guy? You had exams."
"Turns out it's a very good way to blow off stress." She shrugs. "I met him cooling down after my jog. We talked. He texted a couple times, one thing led to another..."
My mouth is hanging open so I close it.
"See," she continues, "I figured I'd better try again. Replicate my results in case it was a weird fluke. Like that dissection back in grade nine. Remember?"
"What happened?"
She shivers. "That weird extra leg."
"No," I tell her, impatient, "with the second guy."
She lights up. "He was good. Broke the bed and everything."
"Don't need the visuals." Really. Don't.
"But I'm only running a fifty percent tingly rate so I can't conclusively determine my results until the next time."
"You might want to slow down. Spread the love. As in *out' not *around,' Contessa Von Funberg."
"Yeah. I have a couple papers due so nothing's going to happen this week."
"Huh. Well, best of luck to you."
"Thanks." She sneaks a sauteed carrot from the pan and eats it.
I smack her hand.
Deliberately, she grabs another one and dangles it in front of me. "You know you want it."
I try and grab it.
Ally ducks but her head hits my arm. Laughing, she rubs it. She grins at me, flushed and adorable.
I lose all rational thought.
Impulsively, I kiss her.
Her mouth is soft and cool from her soda. Our lips perfectly connect and our tongues are touching but not too much. Adrenaline races through my body and my mind is going crazy because it's Ally, but it's also the most amazing thing in the world.
Her arms reach around me to pull me closer and I hear a growl and want to laugh at her except I realize that it was me.
But it startles us both enough that we pull back and blink at each other, frozen.
"We shouldn't do this," I pant.
"So wrong." Her breathing is as heavy as mine.
Then I don't know which of us leans back in first but this next kiss is so hot it's off the charts.