Chapter 17.

BARKING DOWNSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS woke Jack up instantly and in that moment as he shivered beside Marius with the blankets wrapped around him he was back in his apartment with men surrounding his bed. He saw their faces, felt their hands on his arms as they pinned his hands above his head, and he cried out. He heard voices in the hall outside Marius's bedroom door and closed his eyes tightly, blocking out the reminders. Marius was whispering in his ear, his warm breath tickling his cheek as he leaned over. woke Jack up instantly and in that moment as he shivered beside Marius with the blankets wrapped around him he was back in his apartment with men surrounding his bed. He saw their faces, felt their hands on his arms as they pinned his hands above his head, and he cried out. He heard voices in the hall outside Marius's bedroom door and closed his eyes tightly, blocking out the reminders. Marius was whispering in his ear, his warm breath tickling his cheek as he leaned over.

"You're all right, Jack," he whispered. "Come on back. It's just my brother."

"What's wrong with him?" Jeremy asked, sounding almost as if he was annoyed by Jack's behavior.

"Nothing." Marius sounded defensive, and Jack was warmed by the idea of the bigger, stronger man trying to protect him.

"Looks like something's wrong."

"It's nothing," Marius said again. Jack reached for him and felt Marius's fingers tangle with his as he opened his eyes and looked around the dimly lit room.

"Hi," he said to the darkened shadow of a man standing at the foot of the bed. Marius crawled over him and puffed up a pillow behind his back.

"Jeremy, this is Jack. Jack, this is my brother," Marius introduced them. He got comfortable under the blankets again and squeezed Jack's hand on top of the covers.

"Hey." Marius's brother stepped closer, and Jack frowned at him. They really did look nothing alike. Jeremy had dark, curly hair where Marius's was short and blond. Maybe if his was longer it would curl around his cheeks like Jeremy's did. But even their eye colors were different. He took another step forward, but Marius stopped him with an upraised hand.

"You're good there. Stay in the shadows until you get some clothes on," Marius told him. Jack blushed deeply and bit his lip.

Jeremy chuckled, and the sound was very much like the one Marius often made. "All right."

"You're early. By days," Marius grumbled. "And it's-what time is it?"

"Three," Jeremy replied, grinning as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Jack cringed and moved closer to Marius.

"d.a.m.n," Marius said with a sigh. "Three o'clock? In the morning? Really Jeremy?" His brother shrugged. "I'm going back to bed. See you in the morning."

Jeremy nodded. "See you soon, Marius. And Jack."

Jack barely suppressed a yawn as Jeremy turned and left. He got comfortable on his side next to Marius and rubbed his thumb over their joined hands. Marius shrugged back down under the blankets with him and smiled at him. "Did he scare you?"

"The noise did," Jack admitted. Below them he could hear Jeremy walking around the kitchen and opening cabinets. A moment later the faucet started running.

Marius nodded. "He's getting some water now. He'll be gone soon enough, and you can see that he really isn't scary in the morning."

Jack yawned and pulled the pillow under his head. "It wasn't him. It was that I got reminded of what happened."

Marius released his hand only long enough to wrap his arms around Jack's shoulders. "If you want to talk about it...."

"I don't," Jack quickly replied. His tone was harsher than he meant it to be, but Marius didn't react badly to it.

Marius nodded against his shoulder and held him close. "But if you did. I'd listen."

Jack pressed his cheek against Marius's head. "I know," he whispered. "And someday I think I'd like to tell you. But it won't be now. Or tomorrow."

"I can live with that. Want to go back to bed?" Marius asked him.

Jack thought about it for a long moment. He was awake now, and his heart still beat wildly in his chest. But he was tired, and if he didn't go to bed he'd be a mess later. At the same time though he didn't have anything to do in the morning. "If I stay up will I keep you up?" he quietly asked him.

Marius shook his head and pulled back far enough to kiss his forehead. Jack felt heat rise in his cheeks and closed his eyes. "No, you're fine. Actually, I think I'm up too. It's hard for me to get back to sleep after becoming fully awake. If you want company I wouldn't mind hanging out. Or if you'd rather be alone I think I'll grab a book."

"That won't make you fall asleep?" Jack asked him.

Chuckling, Marius dipped his head to kiss Jack's cheek. "Nope. I worked nights for a while, and books helped me stay awake. Lying quietly in place makes me fall asleep, but no, never books."

Jack tightened his hands on Marius's back and held him close. "If you didn't go, what would we do?"

"While we stayed awake you mean?" Marius asked him. Jack nodded. "Well, I can think of a few things. The first involves kissing."

"Oh?" Jack asked him, a smile playing over his lips.

Marius laughed and rolled over on top of him. He hovered over him for a moment, and it took Jack that long to figure out that Marius was waiting for him to freak out. He waited for it too, expecting the fear and panic to come over him. But then it didn't, and he was simply left smiling up at the other man.

"You okay?"

Jack slowly nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

Marius gave him a bright smile before dipping his head and brushing his lips firmly over Jack's. "Tell me a secret," he whispered, lifting his mouth from Jack's.

A twinge of fear tainted the moment for Jack as he looked up at him, thinking that Marius wanted what he wasn't willing to tell him yet. But then Marius kissed his chin and whispered in his ear, "Anything at all."

"I envy you being able to become a wolf," he replied, giving him the first thing that came to mind. Marius looked surprised, and Jack tried to explain. "You're fast as a wolf. And big. When you went after those guys that tossed eggs at the shelter a few days ago, I couldn't help wishing I could do that too. Maybe if I had.... Maybe if I could, then...." He pressed his lips into a firm line, unwilling to speak the words.

Marius nodded. "Maybe," was all he said.

Jack shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. "Okay. Sorry. What's a secret of yours? Nothing depressing. I'm messed up enough for the both of us right now."

Marius kissed his nose, and Jack slowly opened his eyes. He laid his hands against Marius's sides and let the warmth of his bare skin travel through his hands and up his arms. Jack wished he could be brave enough to wear so little clothing to bed. Instead, he'd opted for shorts and a long sleeve shirt.

"A secret huh?" Marius asked him.

Jack nodded. "I told you one."

"True. How about this; I still watch movies from the '80s. A lot. And I don't like 3D movies."

"Really?" Jack asked.

Marius nodded. "I get headaches from them."

Jack didn't think that was much of a secret, but maybe Marius didn't have many of them. "I'd rather buy new clothes than do laundry most days."

Marius laughed and kissed his cheek. "I think most people would. Too bad we can't all afford to do just that." He was quiet for a moment as Jack looked up at him. "I used to run away from home and pretend to be human when I was a teenager. Jeremy always found me and brought me back. For a while there I hated him for it."

Jack frowned at him. "You wanted to be human?"

Marius nodded. "More than anything. I wanted to be normal. I needed that."

"But now you're out as a werewolf. And a gay man. Isn't that the complete opposite? What changed?" Jack asked him.

Marius gave him a small, sad smile. "That girl who was raped? I watched her hide who she was for years and realized how much it hurt her and by that extent how much it must be hurting me. And so I decided to let it go and try to accept who I was. It was hard, but I got there."

Jack chewed on his bottom lip. "I don't know how to do that. I used to like who I was. Or at least I was okay with it. I had fun. Now, I don't want to be this frightened, weak person anymore."

"You're not weak," Marius quickly told him.

Rolling his eyes, Jack loudly snorted. "Am too."

Marius shook his head. "No, you're not. A weak person would have never gotten back up. You did."

"I'm still afraid, all the time," Jack countered.

"So?" Marius quickly asked him.

"A strong person wouldn't be." Jack thought that should have been obvious, but Marius sighed and pressed his forehead against Jack's.

"No," he softly whispered, his breath a warm breeze over Jack's cheeks. "A strong person would be just as afraid. I don't know everything that happened to you. But I do know enough. And fear is a natural part of what comes after being attacked. Your control was taken from you, and your world was shattered. Right?"

Jack nodded, feeling horribly raw and laid open as Marius said aloud what he was feeling.

"So why shouldn't you be afraid?" Marius continued.

"There's more," Jack whispered, a lump forming in his throat. He didn't want to say this, couldn't bear to. But Marius deserved the truth, especially if they had any hope for a future.

"Oh?"

Jack nodded and licked his lips. "You should know. I mean, if there's going to be an us, you should know this. The video they took, the one of me being.... The one...."

"Of your rape," Marius whispered.

Jack shut his eyes tightly and felt tears leak from behind his lashes. That was the word, the one he couldn't use. "They want money. For that video to be kept private. They haven't asked for it yet, but they will. I'm sure of it. They said they would at the end of the video. And-and I don't have it. Everyone will know and-" Jack would try to understand if Marius wanted nothing more to do with him. He'd do his best to do so anyway. He should have told Marius about their demands from the start. He knew that now. There was no reason Marius shouldn't know everything now. He took a deep, shuddering breath and hoped his tears would ease soon.

Marius's gentle thumbs on his cheeks were a surprise, and Jack opened his eyes to see Marius looking down at him, his own sadness reflecting back at Jack. "Do you trust me?" he asked.

Jack had no idea where that was coming from but he nodded, supposing that he did. Well as much as he trusted anyone right then. "I guess."

"Then know this, you don't have to worry about them. At all." Marius's words were strong, and his gaze narrowed down at Jack, who had no idea what to make of such a promise.

He frowned up at Marius. "What do you mean? Of course I have to. They're going to tell everyone. They'll post the video online. I can't-"

"No, they won't. They'll never get that chance," Marius firmly told him.

Jack's eyes widened, and he slowly nodded. He didn't know where this was going or what Marius was thinking, but he had enough sense not to question an angry-looking werewolf. "How?"

His expression going soft, Marius leaned down and kissed him. "I need to make a call to my brother. See you in a moment." He got up from the bed, and Jack sat up, watching him pick up his phone.

"Why?" he asked, his heart racing in his chest. "What's going on? Did you tell him what happened to me?" His shoulders shook as he stared across the bed at Marius. Had the man betrayed his trust already? Was there really no one he could trust in this world anymore?

Marius's face blanched, and he paused in dialing his brother's number. "What? No. Of course not."

Jack pursed his lips. "Then why?"

Marius frowned and sat down on the bed across from him. "Do you want to know? Honestly? There are things in this world that, once learned, can't be unlearned."

"I know," Jack snapped at him. "I thought I was safe last month."

Marius nodded sadly. "Right. Finding out there is darkness in this world and that it's closer than anyone ever thought possible is always very painful. But this is different than that. If you knew something would happen to someone who deserved it, would you want to know? Or would you prefer not to?"

Jack stared across at him, unsure of what was going on. "What are you doing? To who?"

"Me? Nothing," Marius quickly replied.

"No. He has me for that."

Jack turned, his mouth falling open in surprise as Jeremy walked through the doorway.

"I thought you were gone," Marius said, moving closer to Jack.

Jeremy shrugged and sat down on the bed with them. The intimacy of the act bothered Jack but Marius crowded in against him until their knees were touching, and then he took Jack's hand and held it between his own.

Chapter 18.

MARIUS WASN WASN'T sure what his brother was trying to do, but when he reached for Jack, Marius quickly swiped his hand away with a low growl that made Jack tremble. "Don't touch him," Marius warned. sure what his brother was trying to do, but when he reached for Jack, Marius quickly swiped his hand away with a low growl that made Jack tremble. "Don't touch him," Marius warned.

"I was just going to-"

"I know what you were going to do," Marius snapped at him. "I don't want you doing it."

Jeremy rolled his eyes and put his hands back in his lap. "Fine. Whatever. Yes, Master Marius."

Marius sighed loudly and looked across at Jack, unsurprised that he looked completely confused. "Don't let him touch you," he warned. Jack's mouth fell open a bit.

Jeremy snorted. "Now that's a bit extreme. Don't you think?"