Marius chuckled and splayed his fingers out over Jack's lower belly. He could feel Marius's warmth through his hands and looked down to see that his thumbs were just above the patch of tight curls between his thighs. He reached down and covered Marius's hands with his own. His knuckles brushed against his base, and he took a breath. He wasn't sure he could do this, that he could really go through with it, but he also trusted Marius to let him go if he said stop. He wasn't held down, wasn't a captive, and certainly wasn't a prisoner. He could get up and get dressed right now if he wanted to. But he didn't want that. He wasn't sure what he was ready for, but being touched like this didn't give him a queasy feeling in his stomach like it had last week. Just the idea of being naked with someone had nearly made him want to puke last week. But now he was sure he wanted that and more.

"Will you touch me?" Jack softly asked him.

Marius surprised him by shaking his head no. "This has to be you. All you. You take control, you handle your own pleasure."

"What about you?" Jack frowned down at the man, not sure of how he was really going to do this then if Marius refused to help him even a little.

Shrugging, Marius lifted his hands from Jack's hips and put them behind his head. "If you make me come too then that's great. If not I can easily take care of it myself when you're done. That's not a big deal for me."

"What about work?" Jack continued.

Marius winked at him. "I'm the boss. We're usually pretty slow in the mornings, and it's not even eight yet. You've got time still. Take all that you want."

Jack nodded and took a deep breath. "You won't help at all?" he asked again.

Marius shook his head. "I won't. But if you're feeling generous I wouldn't mind a kiss or five."

Jack smirked and leaned forward as he pressed his hand against the base of his shaft. The familiar feel of his own body was comforting. But the times when his fingers brushed against Marius's shaft beside his were enough to send ripples of uncertainty through his body. He replayed Marius's words in his mind and took strength from them as he gently took the other man's mouth with his own. Touching himself was the easy part, and he was hard enough that finding his own release would be easy, if he wanted to do that. As Marius opened his mouth, letting Jack slide his tongue in if he wanted to, he moved his hand over Marius's length. Marius was thicker than him and a bit longer too. He took his time, getting used to the feeling of Marius's body against his. His hips began moving as well, and he pressed their shafts together, feeling them move side by side. The action increased his pleasure, as did the soft moans Marius uttered against his mouth.

Jack pressed his hand against Marius's chest and eased himself up, putting some distance between them so he could look down at Marius's flushed face. "I don't know if I'm doing this right," he quietly admitted.

"Does it feel good?" Marius asked him.

Blushing, Jack quickly nodded.

Marius shrugged. "Then it's right. Do whatever feels good for you. It doesn't have to be right for everyone else, just for you."

"And you," Jack added.

Marius smiled. "You being on top of me, feeling you rubbing against me, the taste of you on my tongue, that's right for me."

Jack's breath caught, and he blinked back renewed tears. "I hate that I'm so emotional right now. I wasn't really. Not before."

"I don't mind," Marius said.

Jack snorted and shook his head. "I do. It's not manly."

"Riiight. Manly."

Jack looked up to see Marius rolling his eyes. A slow smile came to his lips, and Marius winked at him. "So not manly's okay?"

"Yeah, Jack, it's okay. Whatever you want to be is completely okay by me."

Smirking, Jack shook his head. "Saint Marius strikes again."

Marius laughed and lifted his hips, surprising Jack into silence as he stared down at him. He picked up the little clear bottle of lube from where he'd placed it on the bed beside them and spilled a bit onto his hand. "You'll get sticky," he warned Marius, as if the idea was somehow unfamiliar to the other man.

Marius nodded. "I figured as much. I'll wash up before I go to work. Do you want me to do anything to help you?"

Jack bit his lip and started spreading the fluid over their lengths. He wasn't sure what Marius could do to him that might not set him off on panic mode again. But.... "I did like it when you had your hands on my hips, but not too tight," he offered.

Nodding, Marius returned his hands to Jack's waist without a word and held him there, keeping their bodies pressed together as Jack gently stroked over their joined lengths with his slicked hand. He wasn't looking to come, not right away at least, as he let the feelings and sounds move through him. He remembered what this was like and focused on that connection and on Marius rather than the noises and sensations he remembered from his last time. It helped keep the two events separate. He wondered what Marius was thinking about, but when he lifted his gaze to meet Marius's, Marius was only smiling at him. His thumbs circled Jack's hips, and he blew him a kiss. That simple gesture caused heat to flame in his face, and he quickly looked away before he could start giggling like a teenager with his first crush. While he was trying not to laugh, his o.r.g.a.s.m snuck up on him, making him gasp as fluid fell from his tip to coat Marius's stomach. The heat in his cheeks darkened as embarra.s.sment replaced his desire, and he hung his head as his shoulders started to shake. Marius cupped his face and lifted himself up to be able to kiss Jack's cheeks.

"I'm... I'm sorry," Jack whimpered as his hand fell away from his own length to fall on his thigh. He stared down at the mess he'd made on Marius's stomach and trembled. He'd wanted it to be more romantic, better for both of them. And he hadn't even been able to help Marius out first. What the h.e.l.l kind of lover was he? Wait, he knew that answer. He was the awful kind. The kind that no one, and especially not Marius, deserved. He tried to get off Marius, but the other man helped him fall onto his side on the bed instead.

Wide-eyed, he looked up at Marius as he got on top of him, pinning his hips down with his own. His mouth fell open, and he shook his head. "You said I could leave if I wanted to," he muttered, his hands tightening on his sheets as fear started to set in.

"I did. But you don't want to leave because you're panicked. If you were I'd let you go in a heartbeat. This isn't panic, though. Talk to me, Jack. Tell me what it is," Marius coaxed.

Jack's mouth shut tightly. He didn't want to explain what he was thinking. That he had the thoughts were bad enough. He didn't need them spoken aloud as well. But Marius was staring at him, and he felt like he had to come up with something, even if it did sound ridiculous. He knew Marius deserved at least that much. "It wasn't good," he mumbled as he turned his face away from Marius's view.

"It wasn't awful either," Marius replied. Jack snorted. If that was the best that could be said about it, that wasn't saying much. "I'd like to finish too. Want me to go away?"

Jack quickly shook his head no.

"Then I'm going to do it right here on top of you. Are you okay with that?" Marius continued.

Wide-eyed and a bit uncertain, Jack turned back to him and slowly nodded.

"You can touch me if you want," Marius offered with a shrug as his hand gripped his base and slowly began stroking up his length. Jack placed his hands on Marius's muscular thighs and brought his head up so that he could watch. Marius trembled, and his hips rocked over Jack's waist. Jack pictured what it might be like to actually enjoy this man. Not like this, not in the only way he could right now, but in the way that Marius had said. Where Jack was waiting for him, his entrance lubed and stretched, so that Marius simply had to take him. He'd be gentle if Jack wanted that. He was sure of it. But maybe he could also be rough if he wanted that as well. Maybe they could find a middle ground and get progressively back to normal after a while.

Maybe Jack wouldn't feel quite so alien then. While he was thinking about this, Marius loudly moaned and pressed his hand against the middle of Jack's chest. A moment later, warmth splashed against his belly, and Jack looked down to see Marius's come against the paleness of his skin. He lifted his hand from Marius's thigh to drag it through the thick fluid. Marius leaned forward, briefly kissed Jack's mouth, and got up from the bed. Jack stopped playing with the come long enough to look up and follow Marius's movements around the bed.

"Where're you going?" he asked.

"Getting another shower. Want to join?" Marius called back.

Jack hesitated for only a moment before getting up and following him into the large bathroom. He turned the shower on, and soon warm water was splashing down around him as Jack joined Marius in the large shower stall. Without saying a word, Marius handed him a bar of soap and began washing himself. Jack held on to it for a moment, indecision clouding his thoughts, until he decided to act.

He lathered the bar of soap between his hands before bringing them to Marius's stomach. He gently cleaned the other man, biting his lip the whole time to stay focused and not let any other thoughts enter his mind. He would not get panicked or run away. When he thought he was done he stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest. Silently, Marius wrapped his arms around Jack's shoulders and brought him closer, pulling him under the warm spray of the shower. Though Jack was stiff and unsure of himself, Marius took his soapy hand and washed off his belly as well. He kissed Jack's cheek and then his neck. Once his stomach was clean, Marius lifted his hand and soaped up Jack's chest and shoulders, gently washing him off, though his other arm never left Jack's shoulders.

"You'll be okay," he whispered against Jack's ear.

"I hope you're right," Jack shakily replied. "Because this isn't how I am. Not really."

Marius kissed his temple. "Then I look forward to getting to know you."

Jack gave him a half smile and wrapped his arms around Marius's neck, holding him close. He tilted his head, letting Marius kiss him. His hands worked through Jack's hair, the smell of coconut and lavender filled the shower stall, and Jack realized that Marius was washing his hair for him. He smiled against the other man's lips before slipping his tongue in to press against Marius's. A soft moan escaped his lips, and Marius spun with him, placing him against the wall and under the shower spray so that he could rinse his hair.

"You're hard again," Marius said.

Jack opened his eyes and looked down at his shaft, surprised he hadn't realized it as well. He put his hands on the wall behind him and shrugged. He'd had his chance to do something nice with Marius and he'd blown it. His erection would go away soon enough if he ignored it. At least he hoped it would. Seeing Marius naked and covered in trailing streams of water didn't really help him.

"I want to do something," Marius quietly said, his hand moving down Jack's chest to land on his lower stomach.

"Wha-What?" Jack asked in a trembling voice.

Without saying another word Marius went to his knees in front of him. "Tell me not to, and I won't, Jack. You know that. Even if I start and you say no I'll stop. You don't have to worry about that."

With his mouth hanging open, Jack slowly nodded.

"Do you want me to?" Marius asked him.

Jack could barely think, but he managed another small nod. It was, at the same time, the most and the least he could do for the man that had already given him so much. The first touch of Marius's hand around his shaft sent a shockwave through him and made him gasp. He didn't stop there, though. Moments later, Jack felt warm breath surround his head, and he shut his eyes as memories washed over him. Hard fingers, grabbing hands and the smell of a cologne he never wished to experience again all filtered through the warm shower until he was gasping for breath, and his knees threatened to buckle out from under him.

"Jack. Jack, it's me," Marius called to him. "Here. Touch me." He took Jack's hand and placed it on his head. Jack dug his fingers into the short hair he knew was blond without even having to open his eyes. Marius had blond hair. It was short, and it stood up sometimes when it was messy, and it wasn't at all like theirs had been. Blond hair. He opened his eyes and forced a watery smile as Marius leaned forward again and licked his tip.

"You're blond," Jack said aloud.

Marius nodded and covered Jack's hand with his own on top of his head. Jack focused on that detail as he looked down at Marius on his knees in front of him. As their difference in hair color sank in he started noticing the other differences between Marius and his attackers. They were taller than Marius was and full of hard muscle like they worked out often. Marius was still muscular but he wasn't bulky like they had been. His attackers had almost been awkward in their movements because of their extra muscle. He brought his other hand to Marius's shoulder. One of them had a scar there. He hadn't yet found a scar on Marius. Marius took him deeper, and Jack moaned softly. Blond hair, less muscle, no scars. Marius. Jack smiled at him and leaned back against the tiled wall behind him.

His o.r.g.a.s.m was far more familiar this time, and he rode with it, enjoying the sensation rather than hiding from it like he'd done before. Until Marius released him, and Jack sank to his knees in the bottom of the shower. Marius pulled him close, holding him against his chest as Jack trembled. He didn't realize he'd begun crying until Marius reached around him to turn off the water, and his face was still wet. Marius's arms came around him, and Jack relaxed against him as he continued to tremble.

"You'll be okay, Jack," Marius whispered.

Slowly, he forced himself to nod. "I almost think you might be right," he whispered, his teeth chattering as a chill entered the bathroom.

Marius reached for a towel behind them and tugged it down, wrapping Jack in it. A moment later he was slowly helping Jack get to his feet. "I need to go to work here in a bit. Will you be okay? I'd love to tell Seth that I can't be there today, that he's just going to have to be a big boy and handle it all on his own, but we have things to do on Mondays. Especially without Clara there. Actually, today is going to be pretty hard without her there. I'm not looking forward to it at all. Not that Mondays are much fun anyway."

Jack gave him a weak smile. "I'll be fine. Missy's here."

Marius nodded and helped him back to the bed. "And you can always come visit me at the rescue if you want. You can visit Seth too, but he's a bit more boring than I am." As Jack chuckled, Marius helped him back under the covers and tucked him into the bed.

"Not a werewolf," Jack said, agreeing with him.

Marius bent to kiss Jack's cheek. "Exactly. Get some rest, Jack. There's some leftover pizza in the fridge. Might even be a new frozen one in the freezer. I don't eat a lot more than that. Though there is ice cream in the freezer too. And cheese slices, I think." Marius shrugged and got down on his knees next to the bed.

"Go," Jack mumbled as a yawn overcame him. He reached out and rubbed Marius's shoulder. "I'll be in later."

Marius smiled at him, gave him a quick kiss on his mouth, and went to get ready for work. Jack watched him as long as he could until sleep took him away.

Chapter 15.

IT WASN WASN'T long before Jack left Marius's house and decided to join him at the rescue. In fact, he wasn't sure Marius had even been gone more than an hour before Jack had made the decision to leave the comfort of the bed they'd shared and get ready for the day in more of Marius's brother's clothing long before Jack left Marius's house and decided to join him at the rescue. In fact, he wasn't sure Marius had even been gone more than an hour before Jack had made the decision to leave the comfort of the bed they'd shared and get ready for the day in more of Marius's brother's clothing "Hey," Seth said, as he and Missy walked into the lobby.

Jack gave him a soft smile. While he was getting better at talking to Marius, he wasn't sure if he was okay to talk to everyone else just yet. But if he didn't ask Seth where Marius was how was he supposed to find him? "Marius?" he meekly asked.

Seth nodded and pushed his thick black-rimmed gla.s.ses farther up his nose. "He went out to get some donuts for us. I don't know why he wouldn't just let me go. He claimed it was because I get the c.r.a.p kind with gross fillings. But that was only once, and I happen to think donuts with crunchy sugary cereal on them are good. But anyway, he's on foot, so it might take a little while for him to get back. Want to hang out with me for a while?"

Jack blinked as the man's rapid words filtered into his mind. Beside him Missy leaned against his knee, and her connection helped him relax enough to nod. He supposed he did want to stay out here and help. At the very least he wanted to see Marius again, and the man had to work, so this was where Jack would be. He came around the side of the desk, through the little door, and sat down in Marius's chair. He didn't think Marius would mind. At least he hoped he wouldn't. He removed Missy's leash and watched her get comfortable under the desk by his feet for a moment before turning toward the front lobby.

Marius had said that Mondays were usually pretty busy, but Jack didn't see it. The only car in the lot was a red sports car that he a.s.sumed belonged to Seth. He leaned forward on the desk, getting comfortable and stretching out his back as he waited for Marius to return. In the quiet, though, his mind started to wander to his time with Marius. He didn't understand why s.e.xual acts now felt so different to him. Before what happened to him he wouldn't have thought twice about letting a guy suck him. All right, maybe that wasn't true. He hadn't exactly been easy. But he'd been okay with his s.e.xuality, had taken precautions, and knew what he was doing. He got tested regularly and was grateful that he'd had the clarity of mind to get that done shortly after his attack. The woman doing the tests on him had been rude, nearly ridiculing him for not having safe s.e.x. He remembered wanting to scream at her in that moment, but he'd been too frozen to do anything more than go through the motions of the procedures he'd been through at least a dozen times before. The tests had come back negative, and for that he'd be forever grateful.

"So what do you do?" Seth asked, turning toward him.

Jack raised his brows. Asking what someone did was a bit vague, and he didn't feel comfortable enough with the other man to start having a conversation like that. It would require talking, and right now Jack felt too raw to accomplish more than simple gestures. Not that Seth seemed all that intimidating.

Seth made a noise as if he was getting impatient while waiting for Jack's answer.

Faced with having to give Seth something, Jack came up with an answer he thought would work. "Retail," he quietly responded.

Seth nodded and twirled a pencil over his fingers. "Oh yeah? Where at? In town or nearby? Probably nearby since there aren't many places here. If you and Marius are going to be together now we should get lunch sometime. If I was dating someone we could make it a double date type of thing. Know anyone that's single?"

Jack blanched and ducked his head. Too many questions swarmed around him, and he wasn't sure how to go about answering any of them, much less all of them.

Thankfully he was saved from it all when a man stepped into the rescue. He had a small cardboard box with him, and Jack could see him shaking from across the room. His cheeks were stained red, and he'd barely made it to a chair before Seth was out of his and kneeling on the floor next to him. As Jack curiously watched, Seth took the man's hand between his own and spoke quietly to him. Of course he didn't know enough about either man to know their connection, but he could tell there was something there.

"Jack, get Mr. Davis some water please," Seth called over his shoulder to him.

He nodded and moved quickly to get it. Mr. Davis took the cup from his hand with shaking hands, and Jack stepped back, trying not to interfere but wanting to be close in case they needed anything else. Now that he was closer he could see that the older man had been crying and even as he watched, new tears streaked down his face. He didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Napoleon.... He...." Mr. Davis shook his head and clutched the cardboard box tightly to his chest.

Seth rubbed the man's knee. "I understand. He was a good old cat. Remember how he nearly took off the moment that he got out of the cage in the back?"

Mr. Davis uttered a sound that somehow resembled something between a laugh and a sob. "He was so eager to go home with me. He just couldn't wait to get out of here."

Jack crossed his arms over his chest, hugging himself tightly as realization came to him. "I'm sorry," he said, wanting to offer his condolences to the man, even if he was a stranger.

The older man nodded and wiped at his face. "Thank you. Are you new? I'm Peter."

"He's with Marius. He adopted Missy," Seth filled in for him. He reached up to take Peter's hand again, and Jack saw him smile softly at the man. "Are you comfortable here? Do you want to go into the office for more privacy?"

Peter shook his head and rubbed the box in his arms. "He was a good cat. A ve-very good cat. Right up to the end. Marius said.... He said that you have a...." The man's words cut off into loud sobs, and his shoulders rounded over the box.

Seth rose and joined him on the chairs that lined the wall. He put his arm around Peter's shoulders and held him close. The older man's head fell onto Seth's shoulder, and Jack had to look away, the moment quickly becoming familiar and intimate whether the men in it realized it or not. He didn't know their relationship and had never met Peter before, but they seemed close. Perhaps that was just Jack's imagination, though.

"We have whatever you need," Seth a.s.sured him. "We offer services for cremation or burial. And you know about our memorial garden right?"

Peter weakly nodded. "I do. There's a lilac bush. I want him there. Marius said it was open. Is it still? Can he go there?"

"Of course," Seth said, wiping away some of his own tears. "When you and Marius talked about it last year after Napoleon started to get ill he reserved that spot for you. It's always been Napoleon's."

Peter managed a small smile. "Good. I think he'd like it there."

Seth gave his shoulders a squeeze. "Me too. And did Marius talk to you about cost?"

Jack thought it was a bad time to bring it up, and by the way Peter's face blanched he thought the other man agreed with him on that.

"Uh...." Peter began.

Seth's soft smile grew. "You adopted him from us. All of his final arrangements will be covered by us as well. It's part of the Forever Home package you signed when you adopted him. I just didn't want you to worry about cost or anything like that."