eight.

Breakups and Makeups "Is this sand taken?"

I shield my face with my hand and look up into the late afternoon sun. Keiran is standing in front of Brooke, Hallie, and me, holding her beach bag and a polka dot beach towel. She looks kind of miserable.

"That depends," I tell her. "You're not going to throw sand at us, are you?"

She smiles. "Nah. My toddler outburst is over, I swear."

"Then park it," Brooke instructs her.

Keiran places her towel on the cool sand next to us. It's the middle of the week and we're having an unusual 70-degree April day. I figured it was about time we all stopped bickering and made up, so I extended a peace offering: a group tanning session at the beach. With the spring fling a week away, and today being one of the only days we all have off from taping, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to talk and get some color (I'm as pale as the sandy shore along the Long Island Sound). Hallie and Brooke showed up first, but when Keiran didn't come, I thought we were doomed.

"We didn't think you were coming," Hallie tells her.

"I had a makeup test for Spanish," Keiran says as she sits down. "I told Ms. A that I had to finish fast so I could get to my friends and do some groveling."

"Grovel away," Brooke says, not looking over. She's got her eyes closed and her face heavenward. She's pulled her hair up into a bun and her crewneck shirt and bra straps off her shoulders. The rest of us have done the same. Tan lines are an absolute faux pas in a beach town like ours.

"I overreacted at the street fair," Keiran says with a sigh. "I freaked when you guys mentioned my mom. The cameras were on me and I kept thinking about how my mom was going to see it. I guess I wanted the rest of you to see how that felt. That's why I started bringing up all that other baggage." She looks away guiltily.

"It's okay," I tell her, feeling bad myself. "We shouldn't have ganged up on you like that. We all said things we probably should't have." I look at Brooke, who doesn't say anything. She sort of apologized for the "Charlie Show" comments, but I still get the feeling she hates that the show is centered around me. As if I had anything to do with it.

"I'm sorry too," says Hallie. "We all are."

"But you should have known better, Kiki," Brooke interjects. "You're supposed to be honest. Not worry about what your mom thinks."

"Why, because you could care less what your parents think, Brooke?" Keiran says, surprising me with her continuing

fiestiness. "I'm not like the girls on My Super Sweet 16 you seem to want so badly to be. My parents care about how I come across, and I care about how they come across on TV. I'm not going to make my family look bad just to get a good line."

"Keiran is right," I agree, when Brooke is too stunned to speak. I roll over on my towel and lean on my elbows. "Our families and friendship should come first." Keiran grins. "And I would have agreed with you sooner about this, but you've been ignoring my calls."

"And snubbing us in the hallways," Hallie adds.

"I know." Keiran sighs again. "I have to be more mature about this stuff. Now that we're taping a reality show, I guess every part of my life is fair game."

"Especially Charlie, since she's the star," Brooke quips, and sits up to get some sunscreen.

I give her a look. "Can we clear the air about this?"

"Please do!" Hallie glares at Brooke.

"We all knew this was how the show was going to work from the beginning," I remind Brooke. "I don't know why Susan picked me, but she did. What I do know is that I could never do this without you guys."

Brooke shrugs. "True. I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt for Addison to realize there is more star potential lurking in her cast than just her favorite player. I, quite frankly, have a lot of cool things going for me that you guys don't."

"Hello? Sensitive chip. Missing," Hallie tells her.

Brooke sort of laughs. "I'm sorry. Okay, Charlie, I know this isn't your fault. I just get frustrated. Addison should utilize all of our strong points."

"Agreed," I say, and apply more sunscreen. "We should all be happy with the direction the show is taking. Not that I am at the moment." I quickly fill the girls in on my conversation with Addison about Zac. Their mouths could catch fish.

"I can't believe Addison dropped the term breach of contract," Keiran says. "What does that even mean?"

"I think it means I would be sued." I frown. "I can't believe Addison would even go there! The two of us get along so well. She's always making sure I'm happy with the tapings, so I was surprised when she mentioned Zac being a deal breaker. She had just told me on Friday night that it probably wasn't a problem to keep him off camera, and then two days later she's threatening legal action."

"You definitely don't want that," Brooke says, horrified. "Your career would be finished."

"So would all my college money!" I remind them. "Anyway, I've been so upset about what happened with Addison, I called Susan." They all look at me.

"What did she say?" Hallie asks breathlessly.

I sigh. "It went right to voice mail. I tried to explain everything in a one-minute message. She called me back at like two AM telling me how sorry she was if I was freaked out by the breach-of-contract talk, but that Addison was in charge of the day-to-day stuff so if Addison said it, I have to abide by it. Not exactly the answer I was hoping for." I want to add that I feel like Susan's abandoned us, but why fuel the fire? Brooke will say I'm just overreacting.

Everyone is quiet. We stare at the ocean as tiny ripples of white, foamy water wash in and out. The sound is so relaxing, I could fall asleep waiting for someone to say something.

"So did you talk to Zac?" Brooke asks.

I thought that would be their next question. "I told him that it would mean the world to me if he'd go to the after-party and that it was being taped," I explain. "He actually agreed to go with me."

"Was that so hard?" Brooke says as she applies more tan accelorator.

I don't say anything. I feel guilty about asking Zac when I know how he feels. I still can't believe how good he was about the whole thing. That just makes me feel worse.

"What about you, Miss Brooke?" Hallie asks. "If Charlie can come clean to Zac, can you own up to being a farmer's daughter?"

Brooke traces a circle in the sand with her big toe. "Absolutely not. That's different. It's... humiliating."

"No, it's not," Keiran insists. "Look, maybe I should be embarrassed that I look like the star of The Secret Life of the American Teenager with all these kids in tow all the time, but it is the way it is. My parents need my help and I want to help them. Even if I don't love doing it all the time."

"At least your dad doesn't shovel cow manure." Brooke is glum. "My dad is a farmer and we live in a farming town. It's so cliche. I know that's what people see when they think of me. I don't want the world to see it too."

She means what Marleyna Garrison thinks of her, I'm sure. Marleyna is Brooke's Achilles heel. When we were all in elementary school we took tap and jazz at Toe Tappers in town, which is also where Marleyna and her friends danced. Every year our teacher, Miss Lisa, would let us come up with two bonus recital numbers that all the classes could audition for. Brooke was a better dancer than any of us, and she was desperate to be in this Christina Aguilera number that Marleyna was yakking about. When Brooke asked her when the audition was, Marleyna lied about the day and time so that Brooke would miss it. Brooke acted like it was no big deal, but the rest of us knew she was crushed. That was around the time we became tighter with her. She was so sweet and incredibly loyal. Whenever anyone started with any of us, Brooke was the one to step in like an overpriced bodyguard.

"I guess if we're being all touchy-feely today, I should tell you that Patrick and I are finito," Hallie says. "He was seeing someone from Cutchogue. I caught him texting her when we were at dinner. The idiot left his phone when he went to the bathroom and I read his texts. At least Addison caught the whole thing on camera. Now his humiliation will be on display for the whole country." She giggles.

Brooke is furious. "Do you want me to have my brother beat him up?"

"No need," says Hallie, and pulls her brown hair off her neck. "I took care of him. I dropped his whole platter of spaghetti and meatballs in his lap."

Brooke and I applaud her, but Keiran groans. "Now I feel awful, Hallie. I was giving you all that grief about being a flirt just because I couldn't think of anything else to be mad at you about, and here this guy was two-timing you!"

Hallie shrugs. "That's not your fault. I should have seen it coming. But now tomorrow's triple date is a single date with two blind ones. Brooke, I need a date for this dance."

"We'll find you a guy ten times better," Brooke declares.

Hallie smirks. "Maybe we could change The Cliffs to the Cliffside Dating Game. Or I could ask this waiter at the Crab Shack," she tells us. "Brandon. He seems cool."

"Go for it," Brooke encourages her. "You'll have more fun with a new guy. We have to make sure you look fabulous too." She snaps her fingers. "Iwant you to wear my new BCBG dress."

"But you just bought it!" Hallie says, surprised.

Brooke cuts her off. "So? It will look killer on you. You wear it first." She looks at the rest of us. "And anyone who doesn't find a dress for the spring fling is welcome to raid my closet."

"Thanks, Brooke," Keiran says gratefully. "I know I'm going to find nothing I like except something you already own."

"Are you coming on the date tomorrow night too, Charlie?" Brooke asks. "I just got a new Gap sweater that would look awesome with your coloring."

"I have to pass on this one. Zac has to work, so his first TV appearance will be at the dance. I'm sure I'll have to explain all that on camera tomorrow when they tape me at home with

my mom cooking dinner." I grin. "Addison says they love scenes of me around the house."

"I hate recapping," Hallie says and turns her chair around to follow the sun. "It's so awkward."

Keiran moves her towel. "I always sound so stiff when Addison makes me repeat a line," she agrees. "So," she mimics herself, "Charlie, you gonna apologize to me or what?"

"The other day they made me remake a latte at Milk and Sugar three times," I tell the others. "Phil wanted the perfect shot of foam being made. Grady and I had to have the same conversation three times!" I use my deepest voice. " 'Hey, Grady, am I working Friday night? Pass me that half and half, will ya?' It was embarrassing."

"I don't know why you guys get so hung up over the reenactments." Brooke shakes her head. "They're just for continuity."

"Easy for you to say," Hallie snorts. "You have a theater background. To you this is all just acting."

"Maybe," Brooke says with a shrug. "This comes easy to me. I think it's my calling."

"Someday we'll all be watching a new version of Brooke Knows Best with a new Brooke," Hallie jokes, referring to that boring reality offshoot of Hogan Knows Best.

"Absolutely," Brooke tells her. "You better make sure my ratings are through the roof. I am so worthy of my own spinoff." We all laugh.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you had one within the year," I tell her, "but first we should promise each other one thing."

Brooke groans. "What now?"

I give her an annoyed look. "I'm serious. This is important. Let's promise we won't turn on each other the way we did at the fair. We should be more concerned about each other's feelings than how we sound on camera."

"Charlie is right," Keiran agrees. "That goes for me especially."

"All of us," Hallie corrects her. "That was the first argument we've had in months! We can't let the stress of the show get to us. Agreed?"

"I hope we don't come off as idiots on TV," Hallie says as she flips through the latest Us Weekly. "It won't be long before it's our faces in magazines like this and God knows what they'll say about us."

"We have to have a huge viewing party for the premiere," Keiran says excitedly. "And invite everyone we know and everyone who has ever been mean to us!"

"I bet Fire and Ice will throw us a huge party," I tell them. "You always see TV shows having these amazing bashes."

"Maybe they'll throw in some more clothes too," Brooke says dreamily. "I keep asking Addison when we're going to do another shopping episode. I got the best stuff that day we went to Juicy. They gave me all these comps."

"That was the best," I agree. "I loved how they let us pick out anything and everything we wanted."

Hallie interrupts me with a huge scream. "Guys, look at this," she says, and points wildly at her magazine. "LOOK! LOOK!"

We lean onto Hallie's towel and I read the tiny box she's pointing at. Her hand is shaking.

"They didn't mention our names." Brooke sniffs. "They only mentioned you."

"I'm sure the network gave them all our names and they just didn't have the space," I tell her, but Brooke just shakes her head. "Hey!" I try again. "Brooke, this isn't me, remember? I have nothing to do with this. We're all the stars in my eyes. I couldn't do this without you." Brooke doesn't say anything.

"But what about this May date?" Keiran asks with a frown, trying hard to keep Brooke from letting her jealousy turn her into the Hulk. "Are we really on TV in a few weeks?"

"That's like three weeks away!" Hallie says.

"I thought we were on this fall," Keiran says.

"Didn't you guys hear Addison the other day?" Brooke asks. "The studio wants viewers to experience beach life as it's really happening so they're airing us as soon as possible. That's why we're taping such long days. They need more material."

"May?" I repeat. "While we're still in school? That means everyone will be watching. Including Zac."

"Including the whole country," Brooke clarifies. "How great is that? We're going to be household names."

"God, I hope people like us." Keiran looks worried. "How much would it suck to be canceled before a full season?"

"My dad said when he was in the Associated the other day, we were all anyone was talking about," I tell them.

"Well, you had to figure this was going to happen in our town," Brooke points out as she pulls her phone out of her bag and starts texting. "It's not like-"